Prompt #31: Mi dispiace. What have you done that you wish you could apologize for?
Easily answered, that one. That I had to cause my sister grief. Which neither undoes it, nor does it alter the circumstances: I would apologize, and then do it all over again. I would have to. Each of us has to carry their weight; that is our duty to family. And if my actions were the source of Lucrezia's pain... then that is my burden. To apologize, however... what would that change, I wonder?
It wouldn't bring back Giovanni and handsome Perotto. Or Alfonso, the beautiful, noble fool who loved her well and failed to die of his wounds, so I had to help him on. It would not reunite her with the children she had to leave behind when she departed for Ferrara. It wouldn't bring back any of them (and why should it?) or help relive the precious moments we shared. Ah, but what if it made a difference, you ask? Then I would prostrate myself before her and lave her feet with tears.
Perhaps.
And perhaps you should talk to Chiaro, too; he can tell you of more that deserves my mea culpa, I'm sure. Had I ever learnt how to say I'm sorry, he could have stayed whole of life and limb, unbroken and sound, but letting go of him never was an option.