Lacey Jenkins (sexy_drummer) wrote in vivavampvegas, @ 2011-01-13 01:11:00 |
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Current location: | Avarice II |
Current mood: | curious |
Entry tags: | lacey jenkins, pat mcconnell |
The Depressive State Goes Deeper
Who: Lacey and Pat
Where: Avarice II
When: Monday Evening, 1/10
Lacey had finished up practice with Chris and the others for the evening, and had decided to go out and enjoy the still not shitty weather and go out for the rest of the night. She walked into Avarice II (could she mention just how much she fucking LOVED having a metal club in Vegas now) and went straight for the bar. Luckily for her, she was old enough to actually drink and not have to have a fake ID or offer head to the bartender just to get a fucking beer. LOVE that. After getting her beer she swiveled around in her chair to see if anyone or anything of interest was going on in the bar tonight.
Well. Right now? Pat kind of wanted to shoot Jack in the face. Oh, sure, JACK was having a blast here in Vegas, but Pat? Was sitting at the bar, drink in hand (love you, Captain Morgan), looking every bit as miserable as he had at home.
Lacey wasn't aware of anything going on with Pat, so, when she saw a hot, pouty bald guy, she decided that she was at least going to chat him up. "Hey stranger," she said, moving down a few stools so that she could sit beside him. "Looks like someone's having a bad night."
She could easily be forgiven for not recognizing him, as, in any magazines or shows he'd been shown on, he was always so happy-looking, and so full of fun and life. He looked over at her, raising an eyebrow slowly, laughing bitterly. "More like a bad life. But hey. Thanks for the concern."
"Not a problem," Lacey said to him. "I'm sure that I can help bring a smile to that pretty sad face." She took another sip of her beer.
He did a double-take then, before giving a long, slightly bitter laugh. "Oh, you gotta be fucking KIDDING me. Is... Is your name Lacey?" He asked, wondering if fate was really mocking him as badly as it felt.
It took her a second, tilting her head at him again, before she realized who he actually was. "Hard to recognize you without a good old fashioned smile on your face," she said to him. "I tried out for your show."
"Yeah, I know. With a look like that, you're not exactly forgettable." He admitted, but not with his usual playful flirtiness. This was more... matter-of-fact. "Sorry I'm not exactly much fun to be around right now."
She gave him a grin when he said 'a look like that.' "I try to be unforgettable," she said playfully. "And you don't have to be the life of the party to enjoy Vegas. You just have to be willing to open up. You willing to open up at all, Pat McConnell?"
"Open up? Honestly, babe... right now, I'm more in the mood to curl up in a ball forever, or just whip myself into oncoming traffic. So... no, the 'opening up' thing? Probably not gonna happen." He wasn't being snippy or mean... if anything, his tone reeked of desperation, not snark.
"That is opening up, Pat. It's called being honest." She shrugged. "Well, it's one form of opening up, anyway." She could sense the desperation in his tone. He sounded almost like a caged animal needing to be set free, whether that was in drink, suicide, or just a wild night of sex, who really knew. She could provide one of those.
He stared at his wedding ring for a few seconds, sighing. "My buddy dragged me here. I think... he's trying to help. In his own way. He just doesn't get that I don't want to party. To have fun. I just..." he lowered his voice to a sad whisper, saying something he hadn't actually said aloud to anyone yet. "...I just kind of wanna die."
She tiled her head at him, as if thinking on what he said for a moment. "There are certainly ways of loosing yourself for a while that aren't as far as death but aren't the whole 'happy go lucky' stuff your friend might be thinking of, either." She lifted her bottle of beer, taking a long sip of it before waving it at him slightly. "This is one way of loosing oneself."
"Yeah. Drinking myself into oblivion? Definitely on the agenda." He started to find himself opening up to her... why? Maybe because she was a stranger, and not someone who could judge him or look differently at him. "I mean... what do you do when you love someone more than life itself... and suddenly you find you aren't good enough for them anymore?"
"Find ways to lose yourself," Lacey says, as if she knows. "Drinking's a good way. Dulls the senses, even if it's a depressant. It can still make you giddy." She orders herself another drink, a glass of whiskey this time. "Sex is another way, especially sex with strangers. Get all the nice feelings of happy chemicals in your brain without the messiness of relationships." She took a sip of her whiskey and looked at him. "Writing works, too. Happy musicians don't write very good music, after all."
"Yeah. Well... if that's the case? My next album should be fucking amazing." He stated, simply enough. "She was the most amazing woman I've ever met. The only woman I've ever really, TRULY loved. I mean, I've been in love other times... but to truly be totally, unconditionally in love with someone? That happens maybe once in a lifetime. IF you're lucky."
"Haven't had the chance to experience anything like that, yet," Lacey admitted. "With the way that it's tearing you up, I'm not terribly sure I want to." Love was great...until your heart was broken, anyway.
"You really don't. Trust me. I got a great girl back home, probably wanting nothing more than to hear me say that she's all I want in this world... but at least right now? I'd be lying if I said it. Because as much as I care for her... right now? I still want my wife back more than I want anything." Well. There was some brutal honesty right there, huh? "I know you mean well, and that you're probably hoping to get to know me, or who knows what else. But I'm not worth your effort right now. I'm broken. And honestly... I don't know that I'll ever be fixed."
"You being broken is kind of what makes you interesting right now, Pat." Did that make Lacey a bad person, to find him infinitely more interesting because he was sullied, a little broken, and *not* happy go lucky? Maybe, but there it was all the same. "And I'll decide what's worth my effort, Pat."
"Trust me... the girl I mentioned? The one waiting at home? Would likely kill you if she saw you flirting with me. Just... a word of warning." Pat wasn't the cheating type, regardless of what his reputation may be. God, he was tempted though. This one looked even better in person than she did in her pictures.
"Sounds kind of hot, actually," Lacey said playfully to him. "And haven't you ever heard the phrase 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'? Rings oh so true here."
"Yeah, well... even now, at my lowest, I can't cheat." He said, simply. Granted... there was a hint of true disappointment in his voice. "It's bad enough I'm sticking her with a guy who'd rather be with someone else... I can't fuck around on her too."
There was a slight pout on her face, but then she gave him a smile and nodded. "Well, even if you're broken, you're still one of the good guys, Pat McConnell," she said to him.
"Then why ain't I good enough for HER?" Pat asked, finally putting real voice to the main question he'd been struggling with. "When she left... I know she had problems. I figured she just needed to get away before she hurt me. But now... she's back. And not with me. So why am I not good enough?"
"Because she's obviously an idiot or something," Lacey pointed out to him. "Maybe not what you want to hear, but if she ran off, and then came back and still didn't want to be with you, then the problem is hers, not yours. Epic loves of your life hurt like a bitch, but you've apparently got a good woman waiting at home that you're attached to enough not to cheat on. You ever think that your ex may not be good enough for you?"
He lowered his gaze, not about to lie but still too embarrassed to look her in the eye when he said it. "No. I've never thought that. Even once. She's... the most beautiful, amazing, funny, sexy woman I've ever met. She's... everything I ever wanted. And I'm just afraid that in my mind and my heart... nobody else will ever compare."
"Maybe you should think of that," Lacey said to him. "No offense or anything to your one true love, but if she's the one who ran off, she's apparently not the perfect being you've made her out to be in your head. She's a real person with faults, one being that she apparently can't be with you anymore for whatever reason she came up with. I'm not gonna say 'suck it up and move on' because that's cliched and undeserving to you, but trying to take a step in that direction may not be a bad idea. Take a vacation with your new girl. Go to Greece or somewhere romantic. But not Venice. It smells like ass."
"Maybe... it's not a BAD idea..." Pat gave her a small smile, knowing she was TRYING to help. Sure, he really had no intention of doing anything but trying his damnedest to drink himself to a VERY early grave, but he didn't need to burden this gorgeous young thing with it anymore. He could at least make her feel like she was helping. "Greece, hm?"
"Always one of my favorite countries," Lacey said with a grin, taking another sip of her whiskey. She could see that he was trying to placate her, but if he wasn't going to listen to her, why waste too much more of her breath on it?
"For the record... sorry about the show. I know some of you were probably looking forward to it. I just... I wouldn't have been much fun for anyone. Really." He said, his voice truly apologetic. Seemingly, even when at his worst, he cared about other people's feelings. He grumbled though... when he heard the song the DJ was playing: "Across The Universe" by The Beatles. Wonderful.
She simply shrugged at that. "It would have been fun," she said about it. She didn't know the connection him and Patience had over the Beatles, so she just figured he may not like the song when he grumbled as it came on.
Well. That unhinged thing? About to be seen. Pat excused himself, before walking over to the DJ booth, where he visibly grabbed the record off the turntable, broke it, and YELLED at the DJ. "Play that fucking song with me around again and next time I'll break your goddamn FACE. Got it?"
If this were anyone that actually knew Pat, they would have been horrified to see what he just did. But, since it was just Lacey and her deviant, cynical ass, she just grinned as she watched the show, but managed to wipe the grin from her face when Pat turned back around. "Not a fan of the song?" she asked simply.
"I sang it to Patience at our wedding." He said simply, sitting down with a scowl, twisting his ring around his finger absently a few times. "Anyway... sorry about that."
Noticing that his drink was low, she flagged the bartender, who gave him a refill. "Then bad song to play right now," she said simply, taking another sip of her whiskey.
"Look. I... I gotta go. Before I end up making an even bigger jackass of myself." He stood, giving her an apologetic frown. "Believe it or not... it was nice to meet you."
"I actually enjoyed meeting you, too, Pat," Lacey said to him with a slight smile. "Hopefully fortune smiles better on your later than it has now." Let's all hope so, eh?