Who: Susan and Gregory What: Voices Plot-overcoming the voices When: Almost Midnight Where: Their room Status | Rating: Incomplete | Low?
She couldn’t sleep. It felt like every night she closed her eyes, expecting Gregory to be gone. Not as in the village made him leave. As in he left. He didn’t want to be with her anymore. After all, why would he? Susan had been so happy with him. Every day was wonderful and so peaceful. The silence and quiet was never awkward, but endearing. They did not say much, because they didn’t have to. They knew how the other felt. Or, she did. Now she was not so sure. And the most troublesome thing was not that she thought she was not good enough. She thought he was waiting for a good time to go back to the person she remembered from long ago. The cruel and mean boy who tormented her for years. Bullied her and made fun of her for everything she was. Even now, as she lay next to him in bed, that small voice said it was only a matter of time.
Susan looked over and him and rolled on her side. She watched him as his chest rose and fell in his sleep. He was so sweet and timid. So kind and honest with her. Could it really all be an act? Why would he pretend all of this? There was no way Gregory could be that person, right? He was too kind for all of that. Susan smiled at him, even though that voice reminded her of all the times he was mean. How he told her she would end up dead like her beloved aunt once. Had it not been for Harry, Hermoine, and Ron, she would have been in a lot of trouble. But that was not who he wanted to be. He told her all about it. How he was just trying to be the person his father had wanted. He was doing what had been expected. That did not mean he was a bad person, and that did not mean he was going to change.
He is just waiting to make you comfortable. Making sure you’re drawn in, just like Zach did, she thought. A soft sigh came from her nose as she eyed him. No, this was all very different than what it had been like to be with Zacharais. All those years, not once did she ever feel list safe with him beside her. Could he really be putting on an act? No. No he couldn’t.
But then why would it matter? All of the pain he had gone through to fit in, she would understand if things were difficult to move past. What if Malfoy came back? Would he leave her and go back to him? It wasn’t worth waiting to find out. He was just looking for a way to use the woman. No one was this kind to her and Susan knew it. No, only Hannah and Neville seemed to love her like this. Gregory didn’t. How could he? He was raised to despise everything her family stood for. The person she was. He had been part of the team trying to ruin the DA in school. He laughed as she left detentions with her hand bleeding. She didn’t matter to him. Why did that change? Did it really change? That voice told her no, it didn’t.
Quietly Susan shuffled from the bed and pulled the blankets over Gregory so he wouldn’t get cold. That darling face. Those sad eyes that were such so dear to her. She didn’t want to imagine he could be that person to her. That one man who would shatter her. He knew what she had been through with Zach and she couldn’t believe he was that way. The woman pulled her night coat over her and stood by the window. Maybe it would be better to leave first. That seemed like the safest idea. After all, if she left, how could he hurt her? She would finally beat someone to the punch. No, he would not be the person to be walked over. After all, hadn’t Susan suffered enough? Wasn’t it time to show the world she could make her own choices and not let someone simply hurt her?
But… so has he, Susan told herself. He had trusted her. Gregory didn’t just come to her and expect a friendship. He didn’t force her to develop this attachment. None of this was suggested by him over and over. No, this was all natural and all very real. She couldn’t just hurt him and take it all away. The voices implored her. Begged her, even. They wanted her to simply leave. Walk out on this and never be with someone again. What good was caring for him if he would just walk away? Why did it matter that she had finally found it.
It.
No.
Susan took off her robe and draped it over the chair. No, that was not her saying it. That couldn’t be. She never would give up on someone who she truly cared about. She would stand by their side forever. She did Hannah and Neville, after all. And Ernie as well. Even if he was going to simply hurt her, Susan knew that she had to be there for him. He had so much healing left to do. So much pain to ease and fears to conquer. And if, after all that was completed, he felt the need to leave her, she would accept it. It would hurt, yes. She would cry a lot, most definitely. But she would not stop him, not if he truly wanted it. Why would you do something that crazy, that voice asked. Her mind sounded stunned by her own choice. But Susan laid down next to Gregory, who had rolled in his sleep away from her. Once under the covers, Susan wrapped her arm around his waist and pressed his lips against his back. “I love you, Gregory,” she whispered to him in his sleep. And that means I’m sticking around.