innerslytherin (innerslytherin) wrote in viciousmoon, @ 2006-12-01 05:25:00 |
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Current mood: | tired but unfortunately not sleepy |
A mission goes wrong
Highlight area to read text: A wee bit of torture, blood, angst, wanking, lots of swearing.
Remus didn't know when this had all gone wrong. He supposed it was somewhere around the time he'd ducked too slowly and got the gash across his forehead that was still dripping blood into his eyes. If he'd been able to see, he would have been able to stop the shortest Death Eater when she (he thought) Stunned Moody. Remus staggered towards Moody, firing off hexes randomly at the Death Eaters. Where the fuck was Sirius? This had turned into a fiasco! They were supposed to be having a casual visit with Benjy Fenwick, which just happened to coincide with the time the Death Eaters were meant to come for him.
There. That was Sirius shouting, but he sounded like he was in the kitchen. Remus felt the air change around him and he spun around, just in time to hear a woman's voice hiss, "Crucio!"
The world exploded into pain. Remus screamed and only kept his grip on his wand because his hand tightened convulsively. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the agony that was flooding his body. He stumbled over something and fell, hard, and then--thank you, oh thank you--it ended. There were twin cracks of Apparition.
"Fuck, Moony!" Something thumped next to Remus' head, then cold fingers were touching his forehead. He whimpered and pushed weakly at them. "You need St Mungo's."
"No," Remus gasped. His throat hurt. "Not going." He couldn't risk discovery as a werewolf.
"Remus--"
"No." Remus drew in another breath. Severus might be home, if he went there. Severus had potions. He'd never been more grateful at the way Severus carried potions around at all times. "Take care of Moody." He pried his eyes open. "Did they--"
"Yeah, they fucking got Fenwick. I couldn't stop them. I swear one of them was Bella." Sirius glared at nothing. "This bloody so-called 'spy' of Dumbledore's isn't doing us a lick of good if we can't act properly on the information."
"Shut it, Sirius," Remus sighed. "Just get Moody out of here. I'm going home. I heal fast."
He tried to gather the strength to Apparate, then sighed and used the Floo instead. When he arrived at the flat he fell out in an undignified heap and groaned, but at least he wasn't Splinched.
Severus stared in shock as Remus tumbled out of the fireplace, then dropped the entirety of his leftover curry into the sink and dashed to Remus' side when he realized that he had blood almost all over his face. Severus knelt quickly, yanking his wand out of his back pocket, and then hesitating when he realized he didn't know the extent of Remus' injuries. He looked bad enough to make Severus wonder. He flicked his wrist to clean up Remus' face and reached out but stopped short of touching Remus. Oh god. He'd been waiting for this, of course, but he'd had no idea what to expect, and...
"Remus? Are you hurt badly? Can I move you?"
"Oh, God, I want to die," Remus said. "Just kill me."
"Well, then, you won't notice," Severus murmured, and used a levitation charm, walking Remus into his bedroom and lowering him down onto his bed. He released the charm and was instantly beside him again, peering at Remus anxiously. "Right...what hurts worst?"
"My whole body," Remus said. He coughed. Merlin, his throat was sore. "I don't know what hit my forehead, Sectumsempra maybe. There were a few other things that hit me...I think?" He forced himself to look at Severus. "It wasn't too bad until the end." He closed his eyes and sighed. "Now I know why they're called Unforgivables. I'll never forgive her, that's for bloody sure."
"Sectumsempra doesn't stop without a counter-curse," Severus murmured dismissively, peering at Remus' forehead. "The gashes would just keep bursting out of you until you eventually died." He frowned, though, for the mention of Unforgivables. "Crucio?" he asked quietly, reaching out again, but resisting the urge to touch. He knew how sensitive one's nerves were left after that nasty curse, and even something small could hurt Remus now.
"I didn't know that," Remus said. He was embarrassed that he'd allowed himself to be cursed. He should have been quicker. He was a werewolf, he was supposed to be able to move quicker and be more agile than humans. "Crucio. Bloody fucking hurts." He could feel every inch of his skin screaming still. He shuddered involuntarily.
"Yes, well, Sectumsempra's...tricky," Severus allowed as he pulled vials out of his pockets. "Fuck, Crucio. All right." He peered at his bottles briefly, then at Remus, calculating a dose based on extent of injury and allowing for Remus' extra weight. "Here, this should take the edge off. It's strong stuff, but Crucio's nasty enough that it won't get all of the residuals. Hold on. I'll be right back."
Severus hurried out to the kitchen, fixing Remus a cup of tea from the pot he'd had. It was lukewarm now, but that was really for the best, Severus decided as he stirred healing potion into Remus' drink.
He reappeared at Remus' side and held the teacup to Remus' lips. "Drink this. The tea makes the potion go down better."
Remus drank obediently, the warmth of the liquid soothing his throat. When Severus took the cup away, Remus smiled faintly. "Very glad you're here," he murmured. What he didn't say was that part of the reason he was glad was that it confirmed he hadn't been fighting against Severus a few minutes ago. Not that Severus would have hurt him, but that was the hell of the agreement he'd made with Dumbledore--he would pass along information, but he'd also have to take part in Death Eater activity to remain above suspicion.
"Yeah, me too. What would you do if I wasn't, bleed yourself to sleep on the rug?" Severus demanded, and allowed himself some light stroking of Remus' hair. "Here, let me give you some potion for the pain, too." He poured an appropriate dose--and a little extra, considering it was the Cruciatus--into Remus' cup. "Drink this, too."
Remus' smile gained strength. "Probably," he agreed. He liked that hand on his hair. He wanted Severus to touch him, but he also had a feeling that would hurt, considering that his clothes hurt him right now. He managed to lift his hand and curl his fingers around the cup, but it was shaking badly. After a moment he dropped his hand and let Severus hold the cup to his lips. "Sorry," he murmured.
"Nevermind," Severus said quietly to Remus' mumbled apology, holding the cup carefully so Remus could drink properly. "Just drink it. You'll feel much better."
Remus hummed in acknowledgement and drank, then dropped his head back to the pillow. Merlin, this was so nice, having Severus here. He closed his eyes, hoping Severus wouldn't ask him about Benjy. The first piece of information Severus had had that they could act on, and they'd bollocksed it up. "Thank you."
"Merlin, you look like hell," Severus observed, frowning. He flicked his wand and Evanescoed Remus' clothing, thinking the soft bedding would be better against his over-sensitized nerves. He could get a better look at Remus that way, too. After a moment, Severus remembered to ask, "How did, ah, the Order do?" He was still very new to this spying business, and he hadn't quite got the hang of rooting for the other side, yet.
Oh, bugger. Remus sighed. "We couldn't save Benjy."
Severus swore, wincing, though his inspection hadn't yielded any further serious injury to Remus' person. He felt a flash of apprehension, wondering if he'd be blamed for his part in it.
"Exactly," Remus agreed. "I'm sorry, Severus. I rather feel as though we spit in your face, by not being able to properly use the information you got us." He looked at his lover apologetically.
"You don't rather think Dumbledore's going to be angry with me?" Severus asked ruefully; that was the most likely scenario he could conjure. Fuck. So far he was proving to be utterly worthless to Dumbledore. Would he go back on their bargain?
"Of course not!" Remus said, staring at him. "You didn't do anything wrong. We were the ones who flubbed it. If I'd ducked faster, or if Moody hadn't got Stunned..." He sighed. "Anyway, Dumbledore wouldn't blame you for that."
"But I still haven't given him anything that's actually helped," Severus lamented, sighing, and sat down on the edge of the bed carefully. "Here I thought that finally I'd managed to get him some information he could act on, and it was a failure." He glanced back down at Remus guiltily; he hadn't forgotten about his injuries, but he'd done all he really could just now, unless Remus had a jar of topical ointment. "And nothing else I've managed to bring him's been of any use. He's going to decide it was a mistake to help me."
"That isn't how it works, Severus," Remus said, smiling slightly. "Dumbledore helped you because you needed help. He didn't help you to get something from you." He shifted, grunted at the pain, and sighed. "Of course, it doesn't hurt that you can lie to Vo--the Dark Lord. But even if you couldn't, he wouldn't have refused to help you." He paused. "In fact, you're the one who told him you could lie. He was going to take you anyway, remember?"
Severus nodded slowly, telling himself to relax. If Remus thought he'd be all right, he'd be all right. Remus knew Dumbledore better than he did, after all. "And you? Will you be--punished?" He frowned, and ran his fingers along the edge of Remus' ear.
"Punished?" Remus shivered at the touch of Severus' finger. "Of course not. Anyway, we're all punishing ourselves, aren't we? We know we couldn't save him, we blame ourselves." He sighed. "God, I want to hold on to you."
Severus let out a relieved breath. "I don't want to hurt you further. Has the pain potion had any effect yet? It takes a few minutes to hit your system."
"Well, I don't want to die now," Remus said. His gaze turned inwards as he assessed how he felt. "I think it's kicking in. I feel sort of...I dunno, like I'm wrapped in something soft."
"Hmm." Severus experimentally drew a single fingertip over Remus' shoulder to gauge his reaction.
"Is that bad?" Remus asked, smiling at him.
Severus took it as a good sign that Remus didn't seem to mind that slight touch. "No, that's normal with this particular pain potion." He flattened out his hand and smoothed it gently over Remus' shoulderblade.
"Mmm, that's nice," Remus said. "I'm so bloody lucky to have you."
That was definitely a good sign if it was nice. Severus let his hand travel down Remus' back, and he couldn't resist going over the swell of his arse, too. "I'm glad I was here."
"Even if you hadn't had potions to give me, it would be better having you here than being alone," Remus said. He caught his breath as Severus' hand travelled lower. "God! That's very nice."
"Oh good, that's a good sign." Severus squeezed Remus' arse too--just for good measure.
"Ahh, what, that groping my arse makes me twitch?" Remus asked, grinning at Severus. "Oh, yes, I think your potion is working."
"Excellent. That's what I was testing." Severus squeezed again. "Just have to test and make certain."
"Oh, Severus, if you're going to keep this up," Remus gasped. He twitched. "You're going to have to--to--mmm, do something about this." He let his eyes drift shut and shifted slightly. "Mmm, getting hard." He wondered if he'd said that out loud.
"Oh good," Severus said again, smirking. "You're so sexy even just lying there." He told himself he shouldn't tease Remus like this, but Merlin! It was difficult to resist.
"Umm." Remus tried to move and ended up flopping over on his back. "Touch my cock instead," he ordered, opening his eyes and trying to make them focus on Severus. Everything seemed a bit fuzzy suddenly.
Severus let out a surprised chuckle. "I like a man who knows what he wants," he murmured, and took Remus' arousal in hand.
Remus hummed his appreciation and arched his hips. "Oh, Merlin, Severus, I like the way you touch me. I like how hard I get just from the way you say my name." Oops. He hadn't meant to admit that.
Severus made an appreciative noise for that admission. "Do you really? That's brilliant."
"Think your potion is affecting me," Remus muttered. "God, you're sexy."
"Yes, well, granted this situation has gone from a very serious one regarding your injuries and turned itself into something out of a bad romance novel, but we'll just blame that on the potion, too," Severus said, smirking. Of course it was really his fault, and his inability to keep from touching Remus when he was naked--even when he was injured--but Remus liked it, so he supposed it didn't really matter. He slicked his palm with a spell and moved his fist in long, slow strokes.
Remus whimpered happily. That felt fantastic. "Merlin, that's good."
"Yeah?" Severus whispered, watching Remus avidly. He tried twisting his wrist as he went, and giving the head a squeeze. Remus just looked so...good, aroused.
"Oh, Merlin, yeah that's bloody good!" Remus managed, struggling to keep his hips still. "Ah, Severus, keep doing that!" He stared up at Severus' face hungrily.
Severus smiled, then leaned down over Remus and kissed him. He kept up his strokes just the way Remus seemed to like it, and shifted his position a bit so he could comfortably kiss Remus while doing so.
Remus kissed him back eagerly. Merlin, between the potion and this he was floating. He lifted one hand to tangle his fingers in Severus' hair. He liked Severus' hair.
Severus moved his fist faster and gave Remus a bit more pressure. Merlin, he loved this. He loved snogging Remus and jerking him off, and knowing that Remus was alive and all right and wouldn't be punished even though their mission had failed.
"Oh--" Remus groaned and writhed, his fingers tightening in Severus' hair. He already felt like he was skating the edge. He wanted Severus to shag him, but he wasn't sure if the pain potion was quite that good--his muscles still ached a little. "Oh, Severus!" he gasped.
A quiet little moan escaped Severus at having his hair tugged on, and he nipped Remus' lower lip, eyelids falling almost shut. "That good? What else d'you want?" Severus asked quietly. "Want to make you come."
"Ah!" Remus managed. "Not going--take much!" He shivered and kissed Severus. "Want--would--"
Severus' eyes sparked; he slowed down the movement of his hand. "What's that? What do you want?"
"Would you suck me?" Remus asked. It had to be the pain potion making him talk like this. He wouldn't have asked Severus, otherwise. Not everyone liked it, after all, and he hadn't learned yet if Severus did.
Severus' breath halted entirely, but his cock throbbed. After a moment of waffling even though he knew saying no wasn't actually an option, he nodded, feeling embarrassed, and gave Remus a quick, barely-there kiss. Then he sat up and shifted so he was lying out from Remus' side, and slowed his strokes further so he could focus. He licked the head experimentally.
"Ohhh, Severus, yeah." Remus pressed his hips down, trying to focus his control. His fingers stayed in Severus' hair possessively.
Well, okay, Severus didn't know why he'd expected Remus to react in some way other than that, but he was still emboldened by Remus enjoying that little bit, and took the head into his mouth this time, swirling his tongue around it.
"Nnnngh," Remus groaned, his eyes rolling up. "Godyes!"
Well, that was definitely encouraging. Severus took a bit more of Remus' length into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and careful of his teeth. He wondered if Remus would think to mention when he was about to come, but supposed that was doubtful. Severus moved his now-free hand down to cradle Remus' balls.
"Oh, you're so good," Remus gasped. "Feels so good..." He could feel the pleasure coiling tightly in him, carrying him closer and closer to the brink. This was a good way to make him forget the pain of being cursed.
Severus bobbed his head a little but didn't take Remus too far into his mouth, wrapping his hand around the rest of the shaft and squeezing.
"Oh--oh, Severus--going to--" Remus managed, as the pleasure swept over him. Then he couldn't speak as he came hard, his muscles tensing painfully, then relaxing until he felt as limp as a boned fish. His chest heaved as his eyelids drooped. "Severus," he murmured warmly.
Merlin, that had not been enough warning. Severus coughed and sputtered, swallowing as fast as he could to make up for it, and he still got some on his chin. He wiped it away with the back of his hand quickly and did a cleaning charm, frowning, though when he looked at Remus, he was glad to see him looking so relaxed. He did a cleaning charm on Remus, too, because he'd left a bit of a mess, and then flopped down on the bed next to him, head still at Remus' hip.
"So sexy," Remus breathed, stroking Severus' hair. "What about you?" He opened his eyes again and looked down at him. "Can I touch you? Or at least watch you touch yourself?"
Severus' eyes popped open and he stared up at Remus, cheeks suddenly burning. It was an embarrassing day, apparently. He shifted up by Remus' head, though he just curled up against Remus. "You couldn't even hold a cup, earlier," he pointed out quietly. "Don't worry about me."
"But you're so hot," Remus protested, turning his head to kiss Severus. "And it isn't fair if you don't get to come."
Severus hesitated. "I don't want to wank in front of you," he murmured, resting a hand on Remus' shoulder.
"Really?" Remus wanted to shift over onto his side so he could look at Severus better, but that would require too much energy. He rubbed his cheek against Severus' hand instead. "I like watching you come. You look so good when you're like that."
Severus snorted. "I think maybe I dosed you too high."
"What?" Remus asked. "You do. But you always look good to me." He kissed Severus' fingers awkwardly. "I like how you look when your hair falls in front of your face. And when you're feeling prickly and defensive. And when you're in my bed. And when you come. I like how you look with me."
"I like how you look," Severus said, ignoring the issue. "You're very handsome, you know."
Remus finally worked up the energy to roll onto his side and kiss Severus. "Flattery will get you everywhere," he murmured. "Why don't you want to wank in front of me?" That worried him, though he had no idea why.
"I don't know, because I've never wanked in front of anyone before," Severus replied, frowning.
"Well, you don't have to. I just...like watching you come. But I don't think fucking would be a good idea." Remus was getting sleepy suddenly. He blinked hard, fighting it.
"No, likely not," Severus agreed. He brushed his fingers over Remus' hair again.
Remus hummed and snuggled against Severus. "I feel so much better than when I got home," he murmured. His eyelids were so heavy...
"I'm glad," Severus said quietly, smiling.
"I love you," Remus whispered. He finally gave up and let his eyes close.
Severus closed his eyes, too, resting against Remus' side. His chest felt tight, as it always did when Remus said that. He still loved hearing it.
Someday, Remus thought, he wanted Severus to say that back. He sighed and pressed as close to Severus as he could, then finally drifted off to sleep.
Severus opened his eyes after a while, watching Remus sleep. He hadn't just been through a battle and had an orgasm, so he wasn't nearly as tired. Remus was handsome, Severus thought, even if he didn't have Lucius' expensive...everything. He hoped this could work out. He hoped he would be able to keep staying here. He didn't ever want to leave where he was.
When Remus woke, he felt much better, even if he still felt as though he were wrapped in soft cotton. He sighed and shifted, nestling against Severus.
Severus hummed contentedly, stroking Remus' hair. He shifted a little to peer down at Remus, wondering if he'd woken.
"Tha's nice," Remus murmured, nuzzling against Severus. "You...Mmm."
Severus smiled a little. "Yeah? That's good."
"Yeah," Remus asserted. "Like your boots." He tightened his arm over Severus' chest.
Severus blinked rapidly. Remus liked his boots. "Right, then." He leaned down and kissed Remus softly.
Humming happily, Remus pressed against him. Severus was so warm. "Nice."
"Mmmhmm," Severus agreed, and was abruptly reminded that he'd been aroused when Remus had fallen asleep, though he was determined to ignore it. "You're warm, too."
"How'd you know what I was thinking?" Remus asked. "Using Occlu--Leglamancy on me?" He yawned.
Severus snorted. "No. I've never used that on you." He traced Remus' cheek with his thumb. Remus was very...cute like this. And Severus never used that term lightly.
Remus smiled, his eyelids trying to close again. He shook his head slightly and shifted to look up into Severus' face. "You can," he said, fighting for mental clarity. "If you had to."
"Yeah, I could," Severus agreed, brushing a lock of hair away from Remus' brow. "But, y'know, you trust me. So I haven't." He frowned slightly.
"Like you so bloody much," Remus said, wishing he had the energy to crawl on top of Severus. "Y're like a hedgehog, all prickly on the outside but good."
Severus snorted, incredibly amused. "Yeah? In that case, I reckon you're like a puppy." He realized that he was becoming rather chilled, suddenly, and that if he was, then Remus, who was naked, had to be freezing. He flicked his wand and relocated the blankets on top of them, pulling the edge up to Remus' chin.
"Mmm," Remus said, and licked Severus' chin. "No, need a collar and lead for that." He stroked a hand down Severus' stomach.
Severus suddenly got a very clear mental image of that, and his erection came back full force. "Kinky."
"Mmm, yeah, sounds good," Remus agreed, nipping at Severus' skin. "Make sure it's brown. Don't look good in black."
Severus was startled into laughing. It sounded good? He wondered if Remus even knew what he was saying. "Right. Brown."
Remus smiled at him. "I love your laugh. Brown matches my hair." His hand kept wandering along Severus' skin. "You're warm."
"Right, of course, good point," Severus replied, amused. He shivered to feel Remus' hand. "Blankets help."
"Blankets." Remus snorted. "Like snuggling against you better."
"You're under blankets, Remus," Severus said dryly, holding Remus against himself.
"Oh, am I?" Remus forced his eyes open. "Oh. Yeah. Mmm." He nuzzled Severus.
Severus laughed and kissed Remus.
Remus responded happily, sliding his arms around Severus.
Severus held Remus close, then turned his head to yawn, and wondered what time it was. It must be getting late by now, but he couldn't look over Remus to see the clock. Oh well.
"Feel so good," Remus muttered. "Like this."
"Yeah," Severus agreed quietly.
Remus stroked his hands along Severus' skin, kissing his neck. "Love you, Severus."
Severus closed his eyes, breathing in unevenly. He stroked Remus' hair instead of speaking.
"You never say anything," Remus implored. "Why don't you ever say anything?" Embarrassingly, he felt as if he were going to cry.
Severus frowned and forced his eyes open, watching Remus carefully. He opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated, and closed it. Okay, what the hell was he supposed to say? This wasn't the best conversation to have when Remus was addle-brained from pain potion. "I--You ought to try to sleep."
Remus felt the tears spark against his eyelids. He closed his eyes and sighed, pressing his face against Severus' chest. He opened his mouth and took a ragged breath.
Oh Merlin, that made Severus feel so guilty. He knew he owed Remus more than just ignoring it, but he didn't want to talk about it when Remus was barely even cognizant. He didn't really want to explain himself, anyway, because he felt like a bloody emotional girl whenever he even thought about it. And an explanation wouldn't make Remus feel better, anyway. "I can't say it," he whispered.
Remus shivered slightly. "S'okay," he muttered. "Don't--doesn't matter." He sighed and held on to Severus.
"Right," Severus replied softly, chest tight. "It doesn't matter."
It was a lie. It mattered more than Remus could say. He wanted Severus to love him. He wanted--God, he couldn't-- Remus shuddered and buried his face against Severus' chest, clinging to him.
God, now Severus felt like he was going to cry. He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, and held Remus protectively even though it was his fault Remus was upset.
Remus finally relaxed into Severus' arms, taking the comfort his lover offered. Maybe someday Severus would love him. If Remus held on. For now he'd take what he could get. After a while he dozed.
Severus laid awake for what felt like a long while, thoughts unsettled, before he could clear his mind enough to fall asleep.