innerslytherin (innerslytherin) wrote in viciousmoon, @ 2006-11-28 16:54:00 |
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Current music: | Iggy Pop - I Wanna Be Your Dog (Live) |
Entry tags: | albus dumbledore, remus lupin, remus/severus, severus snape |
The next full moon: the morning after
Severus lowered Remus into a comfortable position onto the bed with a spell, then pulled the covers over him and tucked his wand into his pocket. He dropped the clothes Remus had been wearing the night before into the dirty clothes basket and went to check on the towels soaking in cold water he'd used to clean the blood and dirt off of Remus after he'd transported him home.
The water was pink, but Severus decided to leave them a little longer. He gathered up and put away the healing salves and potions he'd pulled out, leaving a few pain potions for when Remus woke.
When he was done with all that, he came back into the bedroom and sat on the bed's edge, glaring down at his lover. "Stupid idiot," he uttered quietly to himself. Remus was going to get an earful when he did come to--sneaking off to the Shrieking Shack for his transformation without telling Severus, and then what? Expecting to just stumble home later and get no questions asked of him? As if Severus didn't know that last night had been the full moon! As if Remus hadn't told him where he went!
"Idiot," he said again, quieter than before, and brushed a piece of damp hair off of Remus' cheek.
Remus was aware first that he was warm. The second thing he realised was that he hurt all bloody over. And hard on the heels of that came the discovery that he didn't hurt as much as he should considering last night had been the full moon. Had Poppy changed the arrangement they'd had since he left Hogwarts? Normally she just carried things to the Shrieking Shack and let him deal with things when he felt up to moving. But just now he felt better than he had after the full moon in a long time.
He shifted slightly, eyes still squeezed shut. A low groan escaped him. He turned his head and breathed in and realised this bed smelled like his own. Reluctantly, he opened his eyes, then immediately squinted as the light stabbed at his eyeballs.
Severus frowned at Remus, but then realized that Remus probably couldn't see him the way he was squinting. He wordlessly picked up a glass he'd poured a dose of pain potion into and used a spell to prop Remus up gently so he could drink it, then held it to his mouth. "Drink."
Remus obeyed, then coughed. "Severus?" he asked, confused. "What--Did something happen?"
"Aside from you trying to get through a transformation without me noticing, you mean?" Severus asked, setting the empty glass aside and lowering Remus back to the bed gently.
Remus blinked at him. "I...I didn't want to be any trouble," he murmured.
"You wouldn't have been, if I hadn't had to go find you! Not to mention that you could have been anywhere at all, really, since you didn't exactly tell me what you were doing. And then what, I'm just supposed to sit around until you drag yourself home the next day? Is that what you always do?" Severus demanded, folding his arms and glaring again.
"Oh." Severus was angry, that was suddenly very obvious. "Um...yes?" Remus ventured, gazing at him nervously. "Sometimes one of my friends helps me home." Not very often, these days. Sirius and James were usually too busy with things for Dumbledore, and Peter wasn't safe without one of the larger Animagi to keep the wolf in check.
"So you'll let them, but you won't let me?" Severus demanded, becoming aware that it wasn't the best time to have an argument, but he didn't care. He'd been hurt that Remus hadn't even talked about it.
"I...I just didn't think about it that way," Remus admitted. He blinked and shivered, wishing Severus would quit yelling at him and climb in bed with him instead.
"Why not?" Severus asked quieter, hating the feeling of uncertainty as he watched Remus.
Remus stared at Severus, trying to think. Merlin, whatever that potion was, it wasn't doing much to help his headache. "Well...that's just the way it's always been, I suppose, since I left Hogwarts. Poppy used to do it, when I was at school." He rubbed at his forehead. "And I wasn't sure if you'd...you know, want to be bothered."
Bothered. Severus watched Remus, his expression cooling. He sniffed disdainfully and decided he wasn't going to get any sort of answer he wanted, so he might as well just let it go. Bothered. "How are you feeling now?"
Remus could tell from Severus' reaction that he'd said something wrong, but he couldn't for the life of him think what it was. "Erm...wretched?" he offered tentatively. "Nothing out of the ordinary for it, though. Not like my skin's going to fall off, so that's something."
"Yes, but I've given you a pain potion, Remus," Severus said testily. "I want to know what it has helped, if anything."
"God, forgive me if I can't think!" Remus snapped, then regretted it, since that caused a fresh flare of pain from his head. He sighed and turned his head, trying to burrow it into the pillow. "Usually I hurt all over from where I've, you know, bitten myself. Those don't hurt today." He closed his eyes. "My joints don't hurt as much, I think."
Severus glared at him, but determined that Remus had a headache. He got up and went back to the pantry, digging out a headache potion, and brought it back. He dumped it into another glass and then held it down by Remus' head. "Drink."
Remus wrinkled his nose, but obeyed, trying not to flinch at the rancid taste. After a minute or so, he relaxed slightly. "Oh, Severus, that's loads better. My brain doesn't feel like it's trying to escape now." He smiled up at Severus, looking somewhat goofy with relief. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. Dreadfully sorry, I'm such a wretch when I feel like this. Ask me again what you need to know."
"I just wanted to know what hurt," Severus said. "I don't know what sort of things you go through on the day after, and I wasn't certain if what I'd done for you was enough." Damn Remus and his goofy smiles. Severus was resolved to stay unaffected by them.
"Normally I have a lot of joint pain, plus the obvious bites and scratches, and my head aches," Remus said, thinking. "And I'm nauseous and bloody cold. But today it isn't as bad, as I said." He thought about it, trying to assess his physical condition. "I'm not hungry at all, but my stomach isn't rolling like it often does. I am a bit cold, though." He yawned, trying belatedly to stifle it.
"I took care of your bites and scratches," Severus said, sitting down again and watching Remus for hints of pain. "Joint pain?" he asked, and pulled out his wand to cast a warming spell on the blanket.
"Mmm, tendons or ligaments or whatever that, you know, reshape themselves twice in one night." Remus shrugged. "That's what takes the longest to fade. But it isn't as bad today as it has been in the past."
"Hmm." Severus got up carefully, trying not to jostle Remus, and pulled a leatherbound book out of the shelf in the closet. He opened a bottle of ink and dipped his quill in, standing by the bedside stand as he made notes into the book. He wrote down all of Remus' usual symptoms, and then made a list of the symptoms he still had after a pain and headache potion. "And you're tired, but that's also to be expected," he noted as he wrote.
Remus had to fight back a snicker. Severus was taking notes about him. "Mmm, yeah, I never sleep much on full moon nights, unless I physically exhaust myself."
Severus glanced up at Remus and added annoying joviality despite trauma after difficulty sleeping.
"What?" Remus asked, amused by the look Severus was giving him.
"Nothing," Severus said blandly. It was much better to concentrate on something he could do, rather than stew over the entire situation.
"Mmm," Remus said, watching him. "You look like you did when we were at school together. I'd sit across the library from you, watching you work and lusting shamelessly."
Severus gaped in spite of himself, eyes jerking up from his notes to Remus. "You did not."
"And...apparently you never noticed," Remus said. "I did so. Can't believe you never caught me at it."
He got his gaping under control, but Severus was still staring. "Probably because if you were within view I was trying my hardest to never ever look anywhere in your general direction." His cheeks were warm, now; he hoped he wasn't blushing. "You really...fantasized in the library?"
"God, yes!" Remus said, smiling at Severus. "I used to wonder what you'd do if I followed you into the stacks and shoved you against the books to snog you breathless. Only of course I reckoned you'd hex me, so I never had the courage to actually do it."
Severus wrote horny on his list of symptoms. Of course, Remus usually was. But he was injured, and he was thinking about sex. Severus felt a tug in his groin that he tried to ignore. "I might have," he agreed, voice lowering. "But not until after a very thorough snog."
"Shame," Remus said, liking the expression on Severus' face and resolving to steal a look at his list when he was up and around again. "If I'd only known." He paused. "I wanked in the library once. Pince was in her office and you were leaning so far over your work your nose was almost touching the paper." He licked his lips, watching Severus closely. "Your hair was falling all around your face. I thought how fabulous it would be to feel it falling against my skin. I honestly thought you'd caught me that night, after."
"You wanked in the library?!" Severus' expression was gobsmacked. Wanked thinking about him, while he was there working. Merlin. Severus wanted to bin his notes and pounce on Remus. He tried to think back to a night in the library like Remus had described, one where he might've noticed something odd from Remus, since Remus had thought he'd been caught.
"Yeah, well, only the once," Remus admitted. "You looked up, right after--I still had my hand in my trousers--and it scared me so badly I never did again. And then the remark you made when Pince noticed how late it was and threw us out of the library..." He grinned.
"When was that? Was that something about 'animal urges'?" Severus asked, trying to recall. He couldn't remember exactly what had happened, or what he'd said, but he remembered being chucked from the library when he and Remus were the only ones left. "And you bolted off so fast, but I assumed you just didn't want to talk to me, even to trade insults."
"God, yes!" Remus said, laughing. "Scared the piss out of me, I swear! I could barely look at you for a week."
Severus smirked. "No, I had no idea you'd been wanking. I heard you make a noise, but I thought you were upset about something." He snorted, amused.
"I suppose you could say that," Remus said, grinning. He stretched and was pleased to it didn't hurt nearly as much as it usually did. "Upset that I'd never actually get to have what I'd been fantasizing about."
"Well...we were the only ones in the library. I was concentrating so hard on what I was doing so I wouldn't think about you," Severus said. "But I couldn't help it, you were right there. My thoughts were drifting along the same lines as yours while you were wanking, I'd wager. I'd never have the gall to do that in a public place, right in front of someone, though. All the same...it's rather hot that you did." His eyes glinted.
Remus blinked slowly and smiled at Severus. "Mmm, you ought to nick the Order's Invisibility Cloak. You could come with me to some library and I'd wank there just for you." His voice was teasing, though he yawned again at the end of his sentence.
Severus couldn't help finding that incredibly arousing, even though he didn't want to say so. Speaking of needing a wank, Merlin. "Hmm, you ought to sleep," he said, immediately switching gears.
"How could I sleep now?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows slightly.
"Well, you're obviously tired," Severus protested, though he couldn't imagine sleeping just now, either. He had a raging erection, for one thing.
"A bit, I suppose," Remus said. "Some parts of me aren't quite as tired." He shifted slightly and slid a hand suggestively under the covers.
Severus' gaze was hungry as he watched Remus' hand move through the blanket. He closed his book and set it and his quill down by the ink on the bedside stand, watching Remus as he tried to casually take a seat on the edge of the bed.
"I think this is a side effect of the change in nursemaids," Remus said, letting his gaze wander down Severus' body and then back up to his face. "This new nursemaid is loads sexier than the ones I've had in the past." He shifted his hips and pressed a hand against his arousal, his eyelids lowering slightly in relief.
"Oi, nursemaid?" Severus protested, though his eyes were still on Remus, and he felt a surge of arousal at seeing Remus press a hand to himself--and make that expression.
"Mm-hmm, maybe you should wear a little apron and cap," Remus suggested, stroking himself slightly. "Unless you object to being a nursemaid...then I suppose you could come help me out with this."
"Only an apron and a cap?" Severus suggested, watching Remus slyly. "I don't know, I might like that too much."
Remus raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Ohh, I think I'd like that myself," he agreed.
"I don't know if I should be worried that you're not frightened by such an idea." Severus arched a brow, wetting his lips.
"Frightened? Definitely not. If I had the energy to move I'd have pounced you by now," Remus said. He let out a shaky breath and shifted his hips, trying to move his hand slowly.
"Pity you don't have the energy, then." Severus watched Remus' hand move under the blankets, finding his trousers were quickly becoming uncomfortable. He shifted surreptitiously, trying to find relief.
"It really is," Remus said, keeping his gaze on Severus' face. He wondered if Severus would have the self-control to just sit there and watch him bring himself off. He suspected it was entirely possible Severus would.
"Merlin, you're sexy," Severus breathed. He didn't feel capable of reaching out and dragging Remus' blankets off without asking first, and was tempted to just sit and watch Remus wank (because oh, what an image!), but he'd like being able to see it better. "Do you want help with that?"
Remus groaned. "Thought you'd never ask," he said, biting his lower lip and staring at Severus.
Severus smiled, then shifted up so he was sitting next to Remus and slid under the covers. He liked how warm it was. He nuzzled Remus' shoulder and then slid a hand under the covers, wrapping it around Remus' as it moved over his cock.
"Oh, fuck," Remus gasped, pushing his head back into the pillow. "Never managed a wank just after the full moon, either," he murmured. After a moment he turned his head to kiss Severus.
Severus shifted to find a more comfortable position, kissing Remus eagerly as he sped up the movements of his hand. "See how good I am for you?" he teased breathlessly.
"God, yeah, so good," Remus agreed, letting Severus guide his hand. What an oddly erotic idea--Severus was wanking Remus...with himself. His hips jerked and he nipped hungrily at Severus' mouth.
Severus gasped, kissing Remus again as he guided Remus' fingers over the head of his cock.
Groaning, Remus tensed as sensation swelled up inside him. This was an absolutely brilliant way to spend the day after the full moon. He slid his free hand over to stroke lightly down Severus' groin.
Remus' hand, even through two layers of cloth, felt wonderful. Severus groaned and kissed Remus, squeezing his hand around Remus' cock.
"Ah--" Remus managed, and that was all the warning he had before he came, his hips bucking. He gasped and panted, his eyelids lowering until they were almost closed. "Fuck, Severus," he murmured.
"Mmm, not now." Severus smirked, then relaxed and kissed Remus' shoulder. He did a charm to clean them up and shifted so he was pressed against Remus' side.
"Ohh, that's what I was missing," Remus sighed contentedly, angling towards Severus and massaging Severus' erection slowly through his trousers.
"You don't have to," Severus whispered, voice quiet because he didn't really want to say it. "I know you're tired."
"But it feels so good to touch you like this," Remus replied. He craned his neck to mouth at Severus' jawline.
"Yeah, but..ah...if you can't finish what you start..." Severus shifted, arching eagerly; it felt incredible, and he was so desperately aroused.
"Well, you'll have to settle for my hand, is all," Remus murmured. "I'll owe you a suck when I feel better." He squeezed gently as he spoke.
"Nnnng," Severus commented, pressing into Remus' hand. "Hold on, wait a moment." He fumbled with his zip and got his fly undone, then guided Remus' hand inside his trousers.
"Oh, that's better," Remus said, curling his fingers firmly around the hot flesh. "You're so hard," he murmured admiringly. "God, you just--you're so fucking sexy."
Severus gasped and mouthed at Remus' shoulder, enjoying the feel of his warm skin. "You make me this hard," he murmured, straining towards release with an almost pained expression. "Only you."
"Does it feel good to know how long I've wanted to touch you like this?" Remus asked, his voice low and husky. "How many years I've thought of you while I wanked?" He twisted his fingers, circling the head with his thumb. "How much I ached for your cock?"
"Ohh god, yes, bloody hell, that's so...nnn!" Severus murmured, writhing against Remus as pleasure swept through him. Just a little more, he could feel it, and he'd come.
"Is that good?" Remus asked, shifting so his breath puffed against Severus' neck. "The thought of how I wanted you to drag me into the library stacks and fuck me senseless?" He nipped lightly at the skin and smiled. "Your cock shoving into me over and over, right there were we used to study and fantasize about each other."
Severus let out a low groan and abruptly came, tensing against Remus as his release spilled out of him. "Fuck," he hissed, overwhelmed by pleasure.
Remus hummed in admiration at how Severus looked like this. He leaned up and kissed Severus deeply, pleased by his reaction. "Yeah, I definitely love you," he murmured, and then burrowed his face against Severus' neck contentedly.
Severus smiled, doing another cleaning charm and putting an arm around Remus. He'd completely forgotten about being angry that Remus hadn't told him what he was doing.
Remus' breathing gradually deepened as he relaxed, liking the warmth of Severus next to him. Having Severus bring him off was a good idea; it had released more tension than he'd known he was holding in. Remus slept.
Severus fell into a light slumber next to him, arm still around his middle.
Remus woke shouting from violent dreams. Severus' eyes shot open, and he let go of Remus, thinking that might help him.
"Remus!"
Once he'd flailed free, Remus realised he wasn't in any danger. Gasping, he rolled over and stared at Severus. "Hi." He felt his face getting hot.
Severus blinked to watch Remus' demeanor change. "Hi."
"Um. Sorry. Bad dreams." Remus scooted close to Severus again.
"I gathered that. All right now?"
"S'long as you're not going to turn into an Acromantula and chase me," Remus said, snuggling against him.
"Wasn't planning on it today," Severus said lightly, sliding an arm around him again. "How are you feeling? Do you need more pain potion?"
"Ohhh," Remus replied, pressing his face into Severus' side. "Make the light go away."
Severus killed the lights with a spell. "More headache potion?"
Remus nodded gingerly. "Please," he murmured. He wondered if he could ask for tea. He didn't want Severus to have to wait on him hand and foot, though. He debated this in silence.
"All right," Severus murmured, and decided to just Summon the bottle of headache potion and a glass this time. He poured the potion into the glass and offered it to Remus.
"You're being so good to me," Remus said, downing the potion and then repressing the shudder so he could smile gratefully at Severus.
Severus smiled faintly back then sent the glass and the potion floating over to the bedside stand. "What did you expect, that I'd sit around and ignore you while you were in pain?"
"No," Remus whispered. "I just...I don't know, I didn't think about it, I suppose. I...I've never had anyone to take care of me like this before, not since my mum died." He smiled. "And she did things just a bit differently to how you do."
"I expect she did," Severus commented archly. "Look, from now on. No sneaking off at the full moon. Because I'll just show up and drag you back in the morning like I did today, but I'd rather be a bit more prepared for it in future. It wasn't bloody easy at all."
Remus snuggled against Severus and kissed his jaw. "Thank you," he whispered. "I promise."
"Good." Severus slid an arm around Remus, pleased at how warm and comfortable he was, and also at the fact that he could take care of Remus and make him feel better. He'd never really spent any time trying to make people feel better before Remus (well, except himself), but he was pleased to find he was tolerable at it.
"I like you holding me," Remus murmured, his eyes sliding half-closed.
"Good." Severus leaned in to press a barely-there kiss to Remus' lips.
Remus smiled hazily. "So comfortable."
"Still tired?" Severus asked, watching him.
"Mmm, just sort of...floaty," Remus said, nuzzling Severus. "Content and comfortable, glad to be with you."
"Good," Severus said again, beginning to feel like a broken record. "Glad I could...do this for you."
Remus smiled. "'m in love with you," he said softly. His lips were turned up, his eyes closed.
Severus gave Remus another kiss. He just seemed to invite one.
Remus' stomach growled, spoiling the moment somewhat. He laughed at himself. "Oops," he said lightly.
Severus chuckled, then kissed him once more. "Hungry?"
"A little," Remus acknowledged. "But I'm afraid I'll be sick if I eat anything."
"Hmm. You could try some tea."
"But I'd have to let you go away," Remus said.
"That's bad," Severus agreed, feeling sleepy with contentment.
"Mmmhmmm." Remus sighed. "Will you come back to bed if I ask you to make me tea?"
"Of course." Severus smiled.
"Oh, good. Would you give me some tea, then? Please?"
"Certainly." Severus extracted himself gingerly and padded out of the room. He went to the kitchen and heated a kettle full of water, then put in the tea to steep.
Remus stretched out and burrowed back under the blankets, missing Severus' warmth.
When it was done, Severus poured Remus a cup, decided he didn't want one himself yet, and carried it back. "Here you are," he murmured, holding it out as he carefully shifted back under the covers.
"Thanks so much, Severus," Remus said, giving him an open, sleepy smile. He cradled the cup in his hands for a moment, relishing the warmth, then took a slow sip, feeling warmth flood through him. "Nothing is better than Severus and tea and bed," he said.
At that moment, there was a "floomph!" from the fire, and Dumbledore's voice rang out in the flat. "Remus?"
Panic jolted through Severus at that first sound, and Dumbledore's voice had him scrambling guiltily out of bed. He landed awkwardly and hovered at the edge, suddenly afraid to move at all. He scrambled to tuck his shirt in, wondering if it was too late to hide in the loo. He glanced at Remus, who was tired and naked. "I'll go. Stay there."
Remus wasn't blind to Severus' panic. He propped himself on his elbow. "Are you sure?" he muttered. "I can talk to him."
"It's fine. I'll go before he decides to come through because you haven't answered." Severus forced himself to move forward, crossing the bedroom quickly and entering the main part of the flat. He spotted Dumbledore's head in the fire, and subconsciously slowed his gait a little as he approached the fireplace. "Hello." Severus held his breath, then added a quick, "Sir," wondering if he was supposed to say that now he was in Dumbledore's service.
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, but smiled politely at Severus. "Hello, Mr Snape," he replied. "May I presume that Remus is home? His friends were concerned to find the Shack empty, and came to Poppy. She carried their concerns to me."
"Oh." Severus felt his face heat, shifting awkwardly and hoping his clothing didn't look too rumpled. "I ah...I didn't know that they...I mean, yes, he's here." Severus cleared his throat and added, "In bed, resting."
Dumbledore nodded. "Very good. And he's well? Poppy usually leaves him potions and food after the moon sets. I hope you understand that it's safer for him not to be seen in the school infirmary, if possible."
"Yeah, um, I gave him healing potions and pain potions and tended to his wounds and...made him tea..." Severus frowned, then bit his lower lip. "He's been sleeping."
"Remus is fortunate to have so many friends who care about his well-being," Dumbledore said. It was obvious his eyes were twinkling, even through the flames. "And are you keeping well, Mr Snape?"
Severus was distrustful of that twinkle. He wondered what it could mean. "I'm fine."
"I'm very glad to hear that. Oh, Poppy was particularly concerned that she wasn't able to leave a bar of Honeydukes Best for Remus. Apparently this is a regular practice of hers." Dumbledore gave Severus a smile that suggested they were both in on the joke, and then nodded. "Very well, I'll leave you to it and let James and Peter know Remus is at home and resting comfortably."
Severus merely blinked. "All right."
Dumbledore's head vanished from the fire.
Severus turned and made his way more slowly back to the bedroom, thinking to himself. He crawled back into bed next to Remus and laid down.
Remus was still sipping contentedly at his tea. "Thank you, Severus," he said, reaching out to rest a hand on his lover's hair.
Feeling rather foolish suddenly, Severus nevertheless nodded. "You um, you didn't tell me your friends normally came and got you."
"I said they do sometimes," Remus said. He shrugged. "They haven't been, very often, lately. Too busy, usually, with the war and that."
"Well, apparently they did today." Severus frowned. "And Poppy wanted to leave you chocolate."
Remus laughed softly. "She usually does," he admitted. "Only I can't bring myself to eat it, so I always save it for later. I've never told her, though. I thought it would make her feel bad."
Severus sighed. "I should have left you there, I suppose."
"No, I'm glad you came for me," Remus said quickly, turning on his side and snuggling against Severus. "I feel better today than I ever do, usually. Plus you're better company than I usually have." He smiled warmly at him.
Severus put an arm around him, feeling a bit better. "All right, then. I'm glad that I did."
"Mmm, me too," Remus said happily. "And your potions are better than Poppy's. Only don't tell her I said that." He nuzzled Severus' neck.
Severus chuckled. "You're just trying to flatter me so I'll help you wank off again."
"I'm not," Remus protested. "But if you want to...well, I suppose I wouldn't complain..."
Severus let out a laugh and leaned in to kiss Remus quickly. "You know I will. Can't keep my hands off you."
"I love it when you laugh," Remus said, smiling at him. He slid an arm around Severus' neck. "And I'm very glad you can't keep your hands off me." He kissed Severus more slowly.
"Mmm." Severus smiled against that kiss, slipping his arm under the covers and smoothing his palm down Remus' side to his hip bone.
Remus liked that feeling. Humming contentedly, he nestled a little closer.