innerslytherin (innerslytherin) wrote in viciousmoon, @ 2007-03-02 19:42:00 |
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Current music: | Depeche Mode - Freelove |
Entry tags: | albus dumbledore, poppy pomfrey, remus lupin, remus/severus, severus snape |
Complications in Severus' Recovery
Severus had done it. He didn't know exactly how he'd managed to pull it off, only that he had. The Order's secrets (what little had been entrusted to him, anyway) were still safe. He himself had not been compromised. The Dark Lord hadn't even noticed that anything was wrong.
If he hadn't been so tired, Severus would have been feeling damn smug.
Oh, it hadn't been easy, and there had been plenty of close calls, where Severus thought surely the Dark Lord would think to exploit this or that weakness Severus knew had cropped up--but he hadn't. Severus had wanted to laugh with relief at how much the Dark Lord didn't know -- things Dumbledore had taught Severus.
Not only was he a better Occlumens than the Dark Lord thought, Severus was a better Occlumens than the Dark Lord. Today had been the ultimate test -- injured, running purely on adrenaline and potions, and he'd passed.
Dear Merlin, he'd passed. Severus Apparated (because of course the Dark Lord was not on the Floo network), triumphant to return to Remus' flat without splinching himself. He felt a wash of extreme relief. He'd returned even before the potions had worn off. And there was Remus, on the sofa, waiting for him.
Remus jumped to his feet when Severus appeared, moving to catch Severus in his arms and hold him. "How are you? What can I do?" he blurted.
"I'm okay, I'm okay," Severus murmured, wrapping his arms around Remus tightly. "How long was I gone?" he asked, because he had a feeling that he was going to crash when the potions wore off. "Do I need to talk to Dumbledore?"
"Of course, he wants to know you're all right," Remus said, nuzzling him. "And he wants Poppy to look you over again. You've been gone about three hours, I think."
Severus sighed--that didn't give him much time. And he wasn't looking forward to having to talk to Poppy. "All right," he murmured, leaning against Remus. "I'd better let him know I'm fine."
"Hold on, I'll get the Floo powder down for you," Remus said, guiding Severus gently towards the fireplace.
Severus blinked at the way Remus was treating him, then realized why, and smiled. "It's all right, I can get it," he said, taking the pot of Floo powder down off the mantle. "I'll be right back."
"I'm coming, too," Remus said. "But you can go first if you want."
Severus shrugged. "All right." He tossed the powder in, announced his destination, and stepped into the awaiting flames, tucking his elbows in.
When he arrived in the Headmaster's office, he stepped out of the way for Remus' arrival.
Remus arrived after Severus, watching Severus carefully. Severus seemed like he was doing all right, but Remus wasn't sure about that.
"Severus," Dumbledore said, rising from a comfortable-looking chair in the corner of his office. "How are you, my boy?"
"I'm fine at the moment, sir. No secrets spilled." Severus glanced at Remus and moved forward a little.
"And how do you feel?" Dumbledore pressed gently. "Remus expressed some concern over your health."
Oh shite, Remus thought.
"Did he," Severus said mildly, arching a brow. "I feel fine." It was true; he did.
Remus looked back at him, arching a brow in return. "You admitted to me you weren't feeling well, before you left," he retorted, his voice calm.
"Well, in any event, I think it would be a good idea for you to visit with Poppy before you go," Dumbledore said. "I'll try to keep the business brief. Why was Tom summoning his Death Eaters?"
"He wanted more details on the failed attack on Diurn Alley," Severus replied, ignoring anything to do with his health. Perhaps he could lie down whilst Poppy examined him, and if the potions wore off then at least he'd not be standing. "He wanted to know why we lost; how the Order found us so quickly and how they got to the Aurors so quickly. He wanted my account of the battle again. The Dark Lord is displeased that he is not very well-informed; he wants to know what the Order is up to, and he's very curious about the prophecy, and of course he knows you know of it. You know that he's been wanting inside information on you and the Order--" Severus was careful not to glance at Remus. "--He's also going to have me apply for a job at Hogwarts again."
Remus frowned. He knew Severus didn't like the idea of Remus getting involved with Greyback's pack, but more and more it was sounding as if it could be an asset; Remus could learn more about the werewolves and feed the Dark Lord carefully selected information about the Order, thereby protecting Severus to a degree. But he'd told Severus he wouldn't spy on them. He hadn't forgotten how upset Severus was. "Have you heard anything more about the werewolves?" he asked idly.
Dumbledore glanced at Remus, then back to Severus. "Yes, I'm interested to know if anything else was mentioned regarding Remus, in particular, and the werewolves in general. I suppose Tom expects you to teach Defence?"
Severus sighed, feeling wary. He hoped that wasn't a bad sign. "Yes, because as if I didn't have enough to do, I'm also expected to covertly corrupt children in my spare time." He rolled his eyes and folded his arms. "As for Remus, the Dark Lord did not mention him. The only time he came up was when he asked me to name the Order members I saw at the battle. I knew he'd already been taking accounts of that so I saw no reason to lie. I've been expecting him to ask me about Remus -- it's not a secret that we were at school together. But he hasn't. He has looked at my memories of the night I went into the Shack, though."
Remus blinked. That was strange; Voldemort had looked at Severus' memories of the Shack? "Do you think he was interested in me, or just that there's a secret tunnel onto the school grounds?" he wondered aloud.
Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "A good question, Remus. I think you did well in telling him the truth about the battle, Severus. Certainly if he asked the others, he shouldn't come up with a list any different to yours."
Severus nodded. "That's what I thought. I believe that he may want to--" He cut himself off as a tidal wave of dizziness crashed over him so abruptly he swayed on his feet and saw spots dance across his vision. Fuck, the potions were wearing off! "To--" Severus tried again, but the potion giving him mental clarity was failing him, and he couldn't remember what he'd been about to say. Severus' vision swam, but he kept his feet and hoped that he could remember what he was about to say before the strengthening solution began to wear off. "I...saw..."
Remus moved as soon as he saw Severus sway, and he got his arms around him as Severus began stumbling over his words. "Severus?" he said, alarmed.
"I...saw..." Severus tried again, then felt his knees go weak and a throbbing pain begin in his chest, faintly at first and then getting more insistent. "With the little...dots..." he added, just before another wave of dizziness crested, and he collapsed in Remus' grip.
Remus caught Severus and held him up, looking at Dumbledore. The headmaster gestured for them to get Severus to the hospital wing, so Remus shifted his grip and lifted Severus into his arms. "There was a Ravenclaw girl in the infirmary when I was there earlier," he said, frowning.
"I asked Poppy to prepare a private area for Severus," Dumbledore explained, following Remus to the revolving staircase. "Stay close to me, Remus, so I'll be able to keep the two of you unseen in the corridors."
The trip to the infirmary was agonising for Remus, who kept tilting his head down to listen to Severus' breathing. Finally, though, they arrived and Poppy took control, directing Remus to the same private corner of the ward that they'd used earlier, fussing over Severus, running diagnostic spells. Finally she clucked and flicked her wand. "Enervate!"
Severus jolted awake, eyes popping open, then groaned and let himself fall back against the bed. His head was throbbing, his chest ached, and he felt like he'd just run from the Dark Lord's headquarters all the way to Hogwarts. "Bugger," he uttered softly, squeezing his eyes shut.
Remus wanted to echo that, but he just moved closer to the side of the bed Poppy wasn't using. Dumbledore placed a gentle hand on Remus' shoulder.
"Well, Severus, you don't seem to have followed my instructions about bedrest and no exertion," Poppy said, with a touch of asperity. "Have you taken all the potions?"
"Not my fault," Severus managed, voice weak. "Took all the potions."
Remus nodded. "We tried to follow your instructions to the letter," he said. Though of course those instructions hadn't said anything about groping or blowjobs.
Poppy sniffed. "How do you feel, Severus? Please be as precise as possible." As she spoke, she was sorting through a small potions case that she'd brought from the cabinet.
"Head hurts...short of breath, chest hurts, dizzy. Tired. Feel drained; no strength." Severus curled onto his side facing Remus.
"I can hardly treat you if you're going to turn away," Poppy huffed, but she pulled out a Strengthening Solution. "Drink this, dear, but don't let it fool you into thinking you're recovered."
Remus reached out to stroke Severus' cheek briefly, then took the potion from Poppy and handed it to Severus.
Severus sighed and drank the potion, recognizing the taste. He reluctantly rolled onto his back and handed Pomfrey the empty vial.
"How long has your head hurt?" Poppy asked briskly. "Has it been since you were cursed, or did it start after that?"
"Since I was cursed," Severus murmured.
"And the shortness of breath? The chest pain, obviously, has been since the curse." She pressed her fingers against his forehead, checking for fever.
Remus just watched anxiously.
Severus thought about it, then nodded. "I remember that breathing hurt a lot after the battle. I think I was short of breath, then. I remember that it was difficult."
Poppy hummed. "How long did it take for the curse mark to fade?" she asked.
"It hasn't," Remus said. "Not a bit, that I can tell."
She cocked an eyebrow at him, then waved her wand to remove Severus' robe.
Unfortunately he wasn't wearing anything underneath. Remus caught the robe out of the air and draped it over Severus' lower half, glaring at Poppy.
Severus decided that he wouldn't say a word. It was best to die quietly in these situations.
Poppy coughed delicately and apparently decided to ignore the fact that Severus had been very naked for a few moments. "That isn't good, dear," she said, prodding gently at the curse mark on his chest.
"Ow," Severus complained, silently relieved that she was ignoring it.
"Yes, I should think that would hurt. This should have faded." She hmphed and grunted and poked around in her box of potions for a moment, then finally seemed to decide she didn't have what she needed. "Keep him company, dear," she said to Remus, and glanced at the headmaster, then walked away. Dumbledore followed her.
Remus didn't think that was a very good sign. He gripped Severus' hand tightly and lifted it to press his lips to Severus' fingers. "I should've made you come see her sooner," he said contritely.
Severus just sighed. "Oh Merlin, don't go blaming yourself."
Remus huffed, but Poppy came back then. "Dumbledore needs to attend to a problem in the Hufflepuff common room," she said, "but he'll be back to check on you. Now then, I believe I've found a counter-curse that should help. If not, though, it could make your condition worse. Would you like to try it, Severus? Or rely on potions and ointments?"
Severus frowned a moment, then shrugged. "Why not? If it gets worse, what, more bed rest?"
Poppy lifted an eyebrow. "This curse is obviously meant to be a life-threatening one, Severus." Remus' grip tightened on Severus' hand. "I feel certain we can control it, but there is always a chance I am wrong."
Severus narrowed his eyes at her. "So if the counter-curse fails, I'll die?"
She sighed. "It's possible."
Remus stared. "No! There has to be something else you haven't thought of!" he exclaimed.
"Not a chance in hell," Severus exclaimed, scowling. "I want to talk to Dumbledore when he gets back up here." He was bloody going to end up getting killed by the gits he was trying to help, at this rate.
"It was Dumbledore's idea that I present the choice to you," Poppy said. Her expression was serious, but not grim. "We honestly believe it will work, Severus. If you would prefer that Dumbledore be the one to do the counter-curse, that's up to you, of course." Her tone of voice implied that she might take it personally, however.
"That's not why I want to talk to him," Severus said firmly, watching her as he considered his options. "What if I choose not to?"
Poppy sighed. "Then we keep on with the potions and ointments, and you may improve. Or you may continue to suffer these headaches and chest pains, as well as the weakness and dizziness." She paused. "And Remus may still end up having to watch you die."
Remus glared at her again, hunching his shoulders and holding Severus' hand to his chest.
Severus glanced up at Remus, feeling a pang in his chest that didn't really improve matters. He turned back to Pomfrey, expelling an angry breath. "Fine, then. Cast the counter-curse."
"You're not really giving him much of a choice, blackmailing him like that," Remus muttered after a moment. He frowned anxiously at Severus.
Severus glanced at Remus again. "Well if I'm going to die, I'd rather die fast than slow. But Dumbledore thinks it will work."
"I don't want you dying at all," Remus said, leaning down to kiss him; Poppy could piss off, she already knew how Remus felt.
Poppy just busied herself with her box of potions, ignoring them for the moment.
Severus returned the kiss, brushing Remus' hair back with his free hand. "Dumbledore wouldn't mention it if he didn't believe it would work."
"I hope not," Remus said in a low, fierce voice. "You're not allowed to die on me."
"I won't," Severus said firmly. "You've nothing to worry about."
Remus stared at him for a moment, then bit his jaw gently and pulled away. "I'm not leaving," he announced.
Poppy looked over her shoulder. "Of course you're not, dear," she said. "I'll expect you to help if Severus needs another Strengthening Solution. The counter-curse can be a bit exhausting for the patient." She turned and rested her hand against Severus' forehead for a moment. "Ready?" she asked gently.
Severus nodded quickly. "Ready."
She flicked her wand up, then used it to draw several blue lines in the air, connecting over him with the curse mark in the center. She mumbled an incantation under her breath, then brought the wand down so quickly it whistled in the air, smacking it hard against his skin. "Totus Contrens," she said loudly, and the air between the lines filled with blue light that channeled itself into Severus' chest.
"Fuck," Severus hissed, when the wand connected sharply with the curse mark. Pain flared, but only for a moment, and then it was as though something heavy was draining from him, and taking all his energy with it. He'd wondered why he'd need a Strengthening Solution - that must be why.
His breathing became laboured as the light continued to flare and the draining feeling continued, and when it was finally done with and the light faded, he was left weak and winded, breathing hard.
But not dead. That was definitely something.
Remus stared in astonishment as Poppy worked; he'd never seen a counter-curse anything like this before. Then Severus swore and Remus tightened his hold on Severus' hand, wishing he could take Severus' pain just by wanting it. When the light faded, Remus looked up at Poppy, then back at Severus again. "Did it work?" he demanded of Poppy, though he was stroking Severus' hair back off his forehead.
Poppy smiled, not that either young man was in a position to notice. "I do believe it did."
"Well I'm not bloody dead," Severus pointed out, pulse throbbing in his ears. "Do feel like I might collapse again though."
"Strengthening Solution, then?" Remus asked, fishing one out of the box and unstoppering it.
"Thanks," Severus murmured, taking the vial from Remus with care because his arm trembled a bit, and drank it down quickly. He sighed and let his arm flop back to the bed. "So when will I be able to stop bloody resting?"
"Another day or two to rebuild your own strength," Poppy said. "I expect Remus to keep you in bed at least all day tomorrow." She fixed an eye on Remus. "That won't be a problem, I hope? Or should I keep Severus here?"
"No, I've arranged everything with work," Remus said hastily.
Severus let out a long sigh. "Another day in bed."
Remus grinned shakily at him, relieved that Severus hadn't died. "I'll keep you company," he promised.
"Oh good," Severus murmured, smiling at Remus. He hoped Remus wouldn't be so strict about the no-groping policy now he most certainly wasn't going to get worse.
Poppy fixed them with a stern look, though her eyes were twinkling. "No undue exertion," she ordered.
"What, not even having a shower?" Remus asked. "Severus keeps complaining about how manky he feels."
"It's annoying," Severus agreed.
"I suppose, if it's a very short one, and Remus is able to assist you," Poppy said, "but don't overdo it."
"Oh good," Severus said, trying not to smirk.
Remus nodded. "Can Severus get dressed, then?" he asked, stroking a hand idly down Severus' now-unmarked chest.
"Of course, dear." Poppy closed her potions box and carried it back to her cabinet.
Severus noticed that Remus' hand didn't hurt, and looked down at his chest. "Didn't even leave a mark. Incredible." He sat up slowly and looked down at the robes covering his lap. "Well, now Pomfrey and Dumbledore have seen me naked. Brilliant."
"Yes, and they'd better hope I never have to kill them for that," Remus murmured, nuzzling Severus and licking his earlobe.
Severus laughed, giving Remus an odd look which he probably didn't see. "Why in the world would you have to kill them?"
"If they decided they were..." Remus shrugged, slightly nauseated by that thought. "Never mind." He didn't want to explain that he would probably want to kill anyone who wanted his mate.
"They were..." Severus repeated, not understanding at first, and then stared at Remus when it dawned on him, trying not to laugh. "Remus, I don't think that's likely," he pointed out, smiling a little.
Remus growled. "Doesn't matter."
Severus choked back another laugh. "You realize they're both more than three times my age. I don't think that at that age seeing a twenty year old naked would interest them in the slightest!"
"Yeah, when you're that age, I'll bet you'd rather see a naked twenty-year-old than a naked someone your own age," Remus pointed out. "Put your robe on." He nipped Severus' neck.
Severus did laugh, then. "Worried I might tempt them the longer I'm naked?" He watched Remus and raised his eyebrows, pulling his robes slowly off his lap. "You know, speaking of me being naked..."
"Not here!" Remus hissed, though his gaze was riveted to Severus' groin.
"Of course not," Severus said, pulling the robes over his head, lower half bare for a few moments until he stood up to pull them down. "Just thought I'd be a bit of a tease. I like you possessive."
Remus growled again and wrapped his arms around Severus, kissing him very possessively.
Severus moaned softly into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Remus in turn.
"Mine," Remus whispered, lifting one hand to cradle the back of Severus' head. "Only mine."
"Mmm, yes, yours," Severus murmured, smiling at Remus a moment and then glancing around to make certain they were still unobserved.
"Can't wait to get you home," Remus said, nuzzling Severus' neck. "Tuck you up in bed and curl up next to you and not go anywhere for the next two days." Oh shite. Except now that Severus really was recovering, Remus would have to tell him the truth about his job.
"And know that I'm actually getting better this time," Severus added with a half-smile. "Sounds good."
Remus gave a weak laugh. "Yes, that's definitely going to crumble my willpower."
Poppy had started back towards them when the infirmary door opened. Dumbledore peered in and smiled. "Oh, very good." He came in and shut the door behind him, "You have Severus on his feet again. I presume he agreed to the counter-curse?"
Severus glanced in the direction of Dumbledore's voice, detaching from Remus reluctantly. "Fantastic," he murmured, turning back to Remus with a smirk.
Remus missed Severus' warmth when he pulled away, but he straightened up and smiled politely at Dumbledore.
The headmaster came over to place his hands lightly on Severus' shoulders and study him. "How are you feeling now, Severus?"
"Much better," Severus said, looking into the Headmaster's wizened features. "I took a strengthening solution and I no longer feel on the verge of collapse. And the mark is gone."
Dumbledore smiled. "The mark is gone. That's exactly what I was hoping to hear. Very good, my boy. With the mark gone, your strength should return fairly quickly." He glanced at Remus. "And I'm certain Remus is eager to take you home and get you settled in."
"Yes, sir," Remus said, smiling.
Poppy sniffed. "No undue exertion, remember," she said, and handed Remus three vials. "Make sure he takes these. I've no doubt Severus knows the correct dosage and times, so I won't bother with a list of instructions. Oh, that reminds me--" She fished in the pocket of her apron, then held out a thin sheaf of papers to Severus. "Your ingredients lists."
Severus stared at the sheaf of papers, feeling a flush of embarrassment. He took them from her, then scowled at Remus. "I was only trying to ascertain why I wasn't getting better," he said to Poppy.
She snorted and glanced at Remus, who was unsuccessfully fighting a smirk. "I have no objection to someone who actually wants to understand how things work. Particularly as the potions you've been brewing generally work better than the ones I've been getting from Horace."
Dumbledore coughed and looked amused.
"Well exactly," Severus said, flipping through the papers now with interest. "I figured that he must be supplying at least some of your stock...although I wouldn't rule out generic store-bought as being a better substitute..." He trailed off as a particular potion caught his eye, snorting at some of the ingredients listed.
Remus glanced at him. "Should I leave you here to discuss potions with Poppy?" he asked.
Severus looked up from the list to Remus, feeling embarrassed again. "Um, no," he said, looking chastised.
Remus grinned. "Well, I just can't particularly appreciate all the nuances of your potions lists, that's all."
"Sorry, no, I'm ready," Severus muttered, hoping he wasn't blushing, and lowered the list.
"For heaven's sake, don't apologise," Remus said, leaning over and kissing Severus on the cheek. Poppy and Dumbledore exchanged an amused look.
Now Severus knew he had to be blushing. He made a noise that wasn't quite speech and had the strong desire to avoid looking at anyone.
Remus grinned and took Severus' free hand. "Let's go home," he said, tugging gently.
Severus nodded, bid a quiet farewell to Poppy and Dumbledore, and followed Remus.
Remus stepped into the Floo ahead of Severus. When he got home, he positioned himself to catch Severus if necessary, but he didn't think it would be. He had a feeling he'd have to entertain Severus more during this period of bedrest.
Severus landed with as much coordination as he usually did, though he did narrowly miss smacking into Remus because he wasn't very far back from the fireplace. He had the ingredients lists clenched to his chests and stared up at Remus, wide-eyed, then snorted. "Hi there."
Remus smiled at him. "Hi." He wrapped his arms around Severus and kissed him slowly.
Oh, Severus liked that. He returned the kiss, smiling faintly, and put his arms around Remus' neck.
"You scared me," Remus whispered. "I'm so glad you're home." He kissed him again.
"It's much better being home," Severus said, returning the kiss. "Fuck, I was going to ask Dumbledore who in the Order is running around using lethal curses," he added as he thought of it.
"D'you think he would tell you?" Remus asked. "Of course it might be an Auror, so he might not even know."
"I don't think so, I got that curse first thing," Severus said, frowning. "I mean, isn't he supposed to frown on that?"
"Oh, good point." Remus frowned. "Yeah, he definitely wants us to try not to kill or even seriously injure the others if we can help it."
"That's what I thought," Severus muttered. He didn't like that someone from the Order had cast that curse--not only because he wouldn't appreciate being killed by the gits he was helping.
Remus nuzzled Severus. "Let's go discuss this in bed," he suggested. "Poppy's orders, after all."
"Oh yeah," Severus said, following Remus back to the bedroom and eyeing him slyly. "Do I get a choice of being read to or taking Dreamless Sleep or a cold shower again?" he asked, unable to keep all the bitterness out of his voice as he deposited the sheaf of papers on the bedside table.
"No, you get apologies and whatever you want," Remus said, the tinge of bitterness to Severus' voice sending a pang of guilt through him.
"Oh really," Severus said, as if he didn't quite believe it. He pulled his robes off over his head and put them in the basket, then moved to crawl in under the covers.
"Mm-hmm," Remus said. He undressed and then knelt next to the bed, staring up at Severus. "I'm sorry I was a prat to you. And I'll do anything you want to keep you in bed."
Severus let out a surprised laugh, watching Remus with an arched eyebrow. "Anything I want? You must feel very guilty."
"Hmm," Remus said. He would actually do anything Severus wanted any time he cared to ask, but Severus had that thing about asking. He made wolfpuppy eyes at Severus. "Will you forgive me?"
"I suppose," Severus said, shifting back across the bed. "Come to bed."
"Yes, Severus," Remus replied, smirking a little and crawling up into bed. "Keep telling me what to do."
"Why?" Severus asked, eyeing Remus oddly as he laid down.
"Because I said whatever you want." Remus gave him a charming smile. "So you have to tell me what you want."
Severus hesitated a moment, watching Remus, then said, "Fine, then, I want you to hold me."
"Mmm." Remus smiled and slid over to wrap his arms around Severus. "I love holding you." He nuzzled Severus' neck softly.
Severus closed his eyes and relaxed against Remus, enjoying being able to, knowing he was recovering now and not going to get worse.
"I'll say something to Dumbledore about the curse," Remus said. "He ought to bring it up at the next Order meeting that one of the Death Eaters was hit with something he doesn't approve of. It has to stop, or the Order's no better than the Death Eaters."
Severus sighed. "Of course, the one hit with it was the one who couldn't get away..."
"Yeah, and perhaps, conveniently, he died," Remus said. "That would explain why there's no one in custody."
"That would," Severus agreed. "And be a good reason not to have people casting it. Merlin."
Remus smirked and nibbled Severus' ear. "I'm not against using a bit of guilt to get them to stop throwing curses at my lover."
"Good," Severus murmured. He hummed contentedly, enjoying Remus' teeth.
"Mmm." Remus snuggled closer to Severus. He was upset about the curse for more reasons than just that it had hit Severus, but that was the reason that kept making him want to hit someone.
Severus slid an arm around Remus, letting his eyes close. "Love you."
Remus rumbled at him and licked. "Love you, too."
Severus smiled. "Good."
"How do you feel?" Remus asked, lifting his head to brush kisses over Severus' face.
"Well," Severus said. "The strengthening solution has helped a lot. I feel much better."
"Good." Remus smiled and stroked a hand down Severus' chest. "I hate it when I'm helpless to take your pain away."
"I'm glad you were there to help me, though," Severus murmured. "And you saved me to begin with...I owe you so much."
"You just owe it to me to stay alive," Remus said. Severus' talk of owing made Remus uncomfortable; there shouldn't be debts between lovers, should there? But how would Remus know? He brushed his lips over Severus'. "I need you."
"All right," Severus said seriously, accepting that, and kissed Remus lightly. "I need you, too."
Remus smiled and then deepened the kiss.
Severus moaned softly into the kiss, enjoying the feel of their tongues sliding together.
Remus made a noise of acknowledgement, sliding his fingers into Severus' hair and tracing Severus' lower lip with his tongue. To think he could have lost this again today.
Severus smiled up at Remus, pleased, and stroked a hand along his back.
"Love you," Remus gasped, then kissed Severus again. God, what would he do without Severus? He stroked Severus' hair, reassuring himself that would never happen.
"Love you too," Severus murmured, feeling content and happy. Remus was so wonderful and it felt so good to lie like this, just holding and kissing.
Remus opened his mouth, inviting Severus to taste. He couldn't escape the nagging at the back of his mind that he needed to be honest with Severus about his job. But this was so good, it felt so right to be together like this.
Severus accepted the invitation, sliding his tongue into Remus' mouth and massaging his against Remus'.
This was so good. Remus groaned softly and tightened his arm around Severus. He'd never felt so lucky, even if he didn't have a job anymore.
Severus slowly ended the kiss, nuzzling Remus instead.
"I'm so happy with you," Remus whispered.
"Good," Severus murmured. "Me too."
"I'm glad," Remus said. "I'm glad I can make you happy." God, but didn't he feel guilty now? He sighed.
Severus smiled at him and stroked his hair. "Of course. Don't know what I'd do without you."
But if Remus told Severus, wouldn't Severus just blame himself? Still, it had been Remus' decision. And Severus hadn't tried to get himself cursed. Remus bit his lip, then sighed again. "I...I have to tell you something," he said finally.
Severus immediately tensed, staring up at Remus. Why had he said that just then? "What?" he asked, not managing to speak above a murmur.
Remus sighed again. "I...Simpson fired me yesterday morning," he confessed. Severus was a blunt man; he'd appreciate that, wouldn't he?
Severus just stared at him. "Fired you? Why--because you needed time off?" he asked, louder.
"Yeah, well..." Remus shrugged. "I didn't ring him to say I had an emergency, the day after the battle. No phones in Hogwarts."
"Oh." Severus spent a moment feeling stupid. "I'd not thought of that," he said, realizing he should have. He sighed. "You should have gone home that night," he murmured, and then louder added, "and you shouldn't have bloody lied to me about it."
"You weren't getting any better!" Remus protested. "I knew I shouldn't have lied, but I wasn't going to make you feel worse! Not when I couldn't do anything else to help you."
Severus sighed again. "You're probably right. Merlin, I'm sorry, Remus...that was a good job." He looked away.
"It's not your fault!" Remus snapped. "It's the fault of whoever thought it was a good idea to use a lethal curse on my lover!" He growled, though he wasn't angry at Severus.
Severus immediately flinched at Remus' growl. He was too tired to be angry over it. He just wished it hadn't happened.
Severus' flinch made Remus tense, then stroke his hair contritely. "Sorry, sorry," he murmured. "I'm not angry at you, you know that. It isn't your fault." He nuzzled Severus.
Closing his eyes, Severus let out another sigh. "Sometimes it seems like I'm ruining your life."
"No," Remus said firmly. "You make me happy. Come on, you know they're talking about closing the docks in London anyway. I might not have lasted much longer even without this. I'll just find something else." He leaned in and closed his teeth gently on Severus' neck.
"Mmm." Severus opened his eyes, shifting a bit. "Love you."
"I love you, too," Remus said. He slid his arms around Severus and snuggled against him again.
Severus wrapped his arms around Remus and relaxed. Remus would find another job. Severus wished he'd been honest, but he understood. It would be all right.
Remus' eyelids were getting heavy. Too much worry over the past several hours. But the guilt was still weighing on him; Severus hadn't said he was forgiven, had he? "I--I wouldn't have kept it a secret," he mumbled, "if I hadn't been so worried 'bout you." He pressed his face against Severus' neck. "You know that, right? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Severus."
"It's all right," Severus murmured, stroking Remus' hair. "I'm not angry or anything."
"I knew it wasn't right," Remus persisted. He sighed. "But I didn't want to make you feel worse. I'm sorry."
"It's ok," Severus murmured. "I forgive you."
Remus relaxed against Severus. "I love you. I don't want to disappoint you," he said, kissing Severus' neck.
"Mmm, love you too," Severus said, enjoying the feel of Remus' lips.
"Good." Remus smiled against Severus' skin.