innerslytherin (innerslytherin) wrote in viciousmoon, @ 2007-01-16 09:34:00 |
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Current music: | Rage Against the Machine - Pistol Grip Pump |
An unpleasant run-in with the Marauders lands Severus in trouble
Severus hurried out of Knockturn Alley, quickening his step when Diagon Alley opened up around him on all sides. He hated having to deal with Diagon's cheery shops and obnoxious crowds. But he wanted to look in Flourish and Blotts before he left for Remus' flat, so he blended with the traffic strolling down the cobblestones (despite the chill in the air, taking their time, thanks to warming charms) and ignored the odd looks he got, angling his head down. It was normal.
Remus, Sirius, and James had just left a meeting with Dumbledore and were meant to be meeting Lily at the Leaky Cauldron, but Sirius had demanded a "quick" stop at Quality Quidditch Supplies. He was nearly as bad about the Quidditch shop as Remus was about the bookshop, though, and they were probably going to be late.
That didn't seem to matter to Sirius when he froze so suddenly that Remus bumped into him with an "oof!" Remus barely held in a groan; Sirius had that pointer-dog look to him as if he'd just scented a game bird.
"Look!" Sirius hissed. "Snivellus! What the fuck is he doing in Diagon Alley as if he's some sort of decent citizen?"
Remus froze, too, drawing in a slow breath through his nose to keep from showing any emotion. He glanced from Sirius to James, who'd got an ugly look on his face.
"I'll bet Snape was one of the Death Eaters who attacked Caradoc," he snarled. "Slimy git."
Sirius glared. "Yeah, let's teach him what it means to mess with Order members."
Remus' eyes darted from Severus, who was blissfully unaware of the fact that he was approaching them, to James, who looked unreasonable, to Sirius, who looked--just plain hungry for violence. He suppressed a shiver. "We're meant to be at the Leaky Cauldron," he pointed out. "And you've no way to know if Snape was the other one there, because I don't even know that." He didn't bat an eyelash as he lied.
"Lily will understand," Sirius said dismissively.
"No, she won't," Remus said. "She never liked it when we were at school, and she won't like it now."
"This is different," James insisted. "This is a war."
Remus exhaled heavily. "We're blocking traffic, and you're being a git. Grow up."
Sirius shot him a startled look. "You're taking up for Snivellus? Moony!"
"You lot are Aurors, you can't go abusing power just because you don't like someone!" Remus snapped.
James looked thoughtful, but Sirius rounded on Remus. "Look here, Moony! People are dead. Our friends are dead! And you know the little git used to chum around with Snivellus, which means Snivellus is a Death Eater just like the little git was. So if you're taking up for Snape, you're defending a Death Eater. Someone who's killed our friends."
Remus swallowed. Suddenly he felt much too hot, despite the chill in the air. "For us or against us, eh?" he whispered. "No middle ground?"
"Who the fuck cares about middle ground?!" Sirius growled, and spun on his heel to fire a hex at Severus.
Seemingly out of nowhere, a jolt of pain smacked Severus in the chest and bowled him over backwards, knocking the packages from his hands. Severus pitched over onto the cobblestones, almost getting trampled as the people around him tried to move out of his way and new people came up behind. Shocked, he scrambled to get to his feet amongst his scattered purchases, palms and tailbone smarting from his landing, and pull his wand out while keeping himself from being stepped on. That was the other thing about Diagon Alley he didn't like--he was hexed here entirely too often.
Remus grabbed at Sirius' elbow. "Look, Padfoot," he protested, "you could still get in trouble for this! People don't just have--have wizards duels in the middle of Diagon Alley! What if you hit someone else?"
Sirius shrugged him off and grinned maliciously. "Let's see how Snivelly likes showing off his underpants to Diagon Alley," he said.
Abandoning the idea of talking sense into Sirius, Remus instead flicked his wand surreptitiously and cast a nonverbal Protego.
God, this wasn't working, Severus couldn't bloody get a clear shot at this range, though he could see two out of four Marauders. He knew it was a very bad time and place to be duelling, but he decided it was time to show them what he'd learned after finishing school.
Severus Disapparated from his spot, and reappeared behind them with a crack!--and tossed a shoving hex he'd modified with a stinging hex square at Sirius Fucking Black's back.
Sirius gave a bellow and whirled around, firing off another hex while Remus stared in horror and rising anger. "James!" Remus appealed, but James responded by drawing his wand, too.
"Dirty little traitor attacked from behind," he muttered, and fired off a jinx.
"You're going to get someone hurt!" Remus exclaimed. He sent another Shield spell in Severus' direction, though he wasn't even sure if they were working since he was casting them nonverbally with as little wand movement as possible.
Severus parried both with slices from his wand, smirking arrogantly at them. He'd noticed Remus and Peter, but they never did anything anyway and so he ignored Remus' presence, because he at least was going to try and pretend they didn't know each other. "Don't they teach you any better than that in Auror training?" Severus taunted. "Or is this the best the Ministry of Morons can do?"
Sirius narrowed his eyes and fired off several curses in rapid order, his spells crossing James'. Remus watched in despair, because he obviously couldn't appeal to Severus to stop this, or it would look suspicious. What the fuck could he do? Finally he gave up the nonverbal Shielding Spells to send a message to Lily. He didn't know if it would work, but at least he'd tried something. His only other options were to physically step between the hexing parties or to find someone in authority. And he had no idea who he could find that could get James and Sirius to listen, unless Lily showed up.
Severus parried a few, and the others he wasn't were going awry--but then the last few he had to parry, and one had got by and struck him on the arm. He hissed, then sent a barage of curses back at Potter--because he was certain the one that struck him came from Potter.
"Bloody Death Eater scum!" Sirius growled, taking advantage of Severus' focus on James to snag him with a Levicorpus. Remus couldn't let that pass. He didn't know what to do, but he had to do something. So he stepped in front of Sirius, breaking his concentration.
"You have to stop this, Sirius! You've no proof!" he pleaded. "You'll get in trouble."
"We're not at school anymore, Moony, and you're not a bloody prefect, you're a dock worker, so don't stick your nose in where it isn't wanted," Sirius retorted.
Stung, Remus opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted.
"Stupid--twat--bloodyfucking--" Severus spit in a raging growl as he thrashed in the air, then finally pointed his wand and managed to spit out, "Sectumsempra!" He hadn't aimed very specifically, but he watched as a slice of red appeared on Potter's smug git face, and then another across his middle. And unless Potter had magically learned the counter-curse, he'd be getting put down rather quickly, he wagered.
"Fuck!" Remus exclaimed as James cried out and doubled over in pain. He turned an angry glare on Severus and ran to James' side, though there was nothing he could do to stop it. Sirius snarled and said, "Crucio!"
"Sirius, stop it!" Remus shouted, and was considering taking drastic action when someone bellowed, "Stupefy!"
Thank God, Mad-Eye Moody. Remus went limp with relief.
Severus hit the ground hard, smarting from the fall and Sirius' short-lived Crucio. At the same instant he saw Moody, he Disapparated with a crack.
"Moody," Remus began, going to greet the man.
"What the bloody hell were you doing, Lupin, getting in the way of a skirmish between Aurors and a Dark wizard?" Moody brushed past him, countering the spell that had James bleeding freely.
"--What?" Remus gasped, staring at him. "No, you don't understand, Snape didn't attack us! He was minding his own business!"
"And it's your place to question the judgment of Dark wizard catchers?" Moody responded.
"Sirius was just acting like he always did at school," Remus protested. "There's no proof. Snape hadn't done anything."
Moody glared at him, then pointed his wand at Sirius. "Ennervate," he said calmly. "Black, you get Potter here to St Mungo's. Don't leave there. I'll be by to talk to both of you in a bit. Once I'm finished with Lupin."
Sirius glared at Remus, then helped James to his feet. They Disapparated.
"If I ever catch you interfering in the workings of Auror business again, laddie, I'll have you up on charges of conspiring against the Ministry," Moody said, prodding a finger at Remus' chest.
"But I--"
"I don't want to hear it!" Moody growled. "Dumbledore will be hearing about this, you can count on that." And then he was gone.
"Fuck," Remus murmured. He glanced at Peter. "Fat lot of good you did," he grumbled.
"What? It was just Snivellus. I don't know what you're so bothered about."
Remus glared at him. "Let's go meet Lily and tell her what happened. Then I'm going to go home and drink something very strong. I'm sick of Sirius right now."
*
When Remus was finally free of Lily and Peter, he Apparated to the kitchen, dreading the coming encounter with Severus.
He wasn't difficult to find. Severus was stomping around the flat, wand clenched in one hand, snarling a long string of untintelligible swearing to himself. He seemed to be looking for something; he was banging around every door he came across, at any rate, and then stalking away from each with a disgusted expression, before turning to the next.
"What the bloody hell was that about?" Remus demanded, though most of his anger was still reserved for Sirius.
"Fuck you, I just fucking got Crucio'd," Severus snarled, not missing a step. He rummaged angrily through a cupboard, glass bottles jostling each other loudly.
"Couldn't you have just skived off as soon as Sirius started throwing hexes?" Remus said. "He wouldn't fucking listen to reason!"
"Run away?" Severus demanded, spitting the words as if they tasted vile, and turned away from the cupboard with a potion clenched tightly in one white-knuckled hand.
"Better than making me watch you get hexed and not be able to do a bloody thing about it!" Remus shoved fisted hands into the pockets of his jeans and scowled at Severus.
"I don't bloody run away from fights. Especially not with those gits! I wouldn't have left at all except I can't afford to go to Azkaban now, and the last thing I need is fucking Moody on my case."
Remus sighed, trying to force some of the tension out of his shoulders. "Moody said he was going to go to Dumbledore about this," he said. "Maybe Dumbledore can, I don't know, make things better." He couldn't fight off the guilt over not being able to do anything to protect his lover. It made him want to lash out at someone. But that someone shouldn't be Severus, not really.
"Oh god, after he revokes his protection and murders me," Severus groaned, then pried the stopper out of the potion bottle and drank about half the bottle's worth.
"Why would he do that? Oi, are you supposed to have that much?" Remus stared at him in alarm.
"He bloody loves those two," Severus groused, shoving the stopper back in and wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "It's just pain potion from Pomfrey, I know how much to take."
Remus frowned. "Yes, well, they started it, and I'll bloody well tell him that. You were minding your own business."
"Yeah, and I'm an evil Dark wizard," Severus added, sneering. "Shouldn't be showing my face in decent society."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Apparently I'm an appropriate match for you, as I'm only an ignorant dock worker who ought to keep my nose out of complicated things I don't understand," he said, his voice reflecting his bitterness. "Fucking Sirius. And he had the gall to talk about Regulus, too. I wish Dumbledore would let me tell the others about Regulus' defection. I don't understand what he thinks we have to lose by talking about it." He sighed and got out the Firewhiskey, pouring a glass for himself and glancing questioningly at Severus.
"I reckon Regulus was working on something Dumbledore doesn't want anyone knowing about," Severus said with a frown, setting the pain potion aside. "Shouldn't have a drink, though, in case he wants to yell at me later."
"Yes, well, I plan to yell back, if he does," Remus said belligerently, and took a sip of his drink. "I don't like that you fought back, but it was very clearly not your fault. I couldn't get Sirius to stop."
"I've always fought back, Remus," Severus pointed out, feeling a great deal calmer, which he suspected was entirely to do with his lover's presence.
Remus growled. "I know that, but I don't like watching you get hurt!" He slammed back the rest of his drink and poured another two fingers of Firewhiskey. "Bloody Sirius. I could hex him myself right now."
"I could bloody kill him right now," Severus growled. "Can't believe what he said to you."
"He'll feel bad for that later," Remus said in Sirius' defence. "I'm angrier about his hexing you, because I know he won't bloody feel bad for that, ever." He sighed and leaned against the counter, gazing at Severus. "How do you feel? His Unforgiveable did hit you, then?"
"Yeah, it ended when Moody Stupefied him, though," Severus said, watching Remus.
"Good. God, Severus, I hate this!" Remus said miserably. "I'm so sorry for what they did."
"You aren't responsible for them," Severus said, watching Remus.
"I feel like it," Remus said. "I couldn't protect you. It made me feel so angry and helpless." He scowled at the floor, then took another sip of Firewhiskey.
"Well it's best you didn't, of course, for appearances...is there anything that will make you feel better now?" Severus asked.
"Appearances!" Remus snorted, but he looked up at Severus. "I should be asking you that." He crossed the room and stroked a hand gently over Severus' hair. "I want to hold you, but I don't want to hurt you."
"I'm all right," Severus murmured, leaning against Remus. "Pomfrey's potions are good, though I make mine more concentrated so you have to take less."
Remus wrapped his arms around Severus and buried his face against his neck. "I haven't done anything but fail you again," he muttered.
"That's not true," Severus said, putting his arms around Remus. "You stood up for me this time."
"Fucking lot of good it did," Remus said. "I shouldn't have ever let them get away with things at school."
"That's nice to hear," Severus murmured. "Just...the fact that you said anything...really...that's great."
Remus sighed, feeling more ashamed than he had before. Severus shouldn't feel grateful that he'd stood up for him! But Remus didn't know what to say, so he just nuzzled Severus' jaw softly and held on to him.
"Mmm, you make me feel better," Severus murmured, closing his eyes.
"I'm glad," Remus replied, his voice a bit strangled. He wondered if he ought to offer to sit down with Severus. Or would Dumbledore be summoning them soon? It wouldn't surprise him.
"All right?" Severus asked, not missing the odd note to Remus' tone.
"Just--still angry," Remus said, which was part of the truth, anyway. "D'you want to sit for a while?"
"As long as you keep touching me." Severus sighed.
"Of course," Remus said, leading Severus to the sofa. He didn't dare block the Floo entirely, but he put up a screening spell so no one could see in.
Severus was still thinking furious abuse at Potter and Black, wishing Moody hadn't interfered because he was certain he would've been able to handle them and then thinking it was perhaps best Moody had come along, because if he had been able to handle them, he'd have bloody killed them. That would have made a bigger mess than he'd have liked. Merlin, he'd made so much progress at controlling himself with Occlumency, and still those prats could make his control totally fall apart.
He held onto Remus when they sat, taking in deep, slow breaths and trying to clear his mind of tumulus thoughts.
"I love you so much," Remus murmured after a long while, his voice soft and muffled by Severus' skin. "It makes me angry when I can't protect you. It makes me hate myself for being so weak before. I don't know why you love me."
"I love you because it matters to you that you didn't stand up for me before," Severus replied honestly. "But you know we hexed each other at every opportunity; that's just what we did. I hate them, and they hate me. As far as being Aurors goes...they are Dark wizard catchers. If I'm identified as a Dark wizard, well, now they're allowed to do exactly the same thing they've been doing. And I'm going to have to be much more careful where I go." He sighed. "If--I mean, what did Moody say to you? Do they know?" He peered down at Remus anxiously.
Remus sighed and tightened his arms around Severus before he remembered that Sirius had fucking used the Cruciatus Curse on Severus. Just because Unforgivables were allowed for Aurors didn't mean they were right. He loosened his grip. "Sorry," he muttered. "Moody threatened to have me up on charges of conspiring against the Ministry. I'm really sort of hoping Dumbledore will take care of that, too."
"Oh hell. So they must know I'm a Dark wizard, if Moody didn't think you should've interfered. But then...why did he Stupefy Black, I wonder?" Severus frowned, slumping against the back of the sofa. "I'm sure Dumbledore won't let that happen to you. I mean, he'll know--it wasn't a fucking Auror battle, it's just--it's just what we do. I wasn't thinking I was attacking a pair of Aurors." He shut his eyes. Fuck. That had bollocksed up things quite spectacularly, hadn't it?
Remus shrugged. "I tried telling Moody that, but he wouldn't listen. I also tried telling Moody that you were minding your own business before Sirius attacked you. I think Moody probably realised Sirius didn't have any proof, though. He probably suspects, but they can't do anything without proof, or we'd be no better than...than...Hitler." He wondered if the Muggle reference would mean anything to Severus. "Anyway, hopefully Dumbledore will get all that sorted. Though he might have to tell Moody you're working for the Order, I don't know."
Severus put a hand over his face. "Good thing I made Dumbledore promise to help me if I got into trouble."
"He would have anyway," Remus said. He kissed Severus' temple. "He does stick up for the people who work for him."
At that moment the fire roared into green flames and Dumbledore's head appeared. "Remus Lupin!" he called, his tones strident enough to convey wrath, though any other wizard would have been shouting. Remus jumped.
"Fuck. Lupus in fabula. Want me to pretend we're not here?"
Looking thoroughly startled, Severus stared down at Dumbledore's head, wide-eyed. "Can't he see us?"
"I put up a spell so he can't see us."
"I can hear you quite plainly, however," Dumbledore said. He didn't look amused.
Remus jumped. "Shite. Erm. Sorry, sir."
Severus scrambled off the couch. "Lupin, you arse!"
"What? I forgot!" Remus sighed and dispelled the screen. "Hallo, sir."
"Remus. Mr Snape. I'm glad to see the two of you together. It saves me the trouble. I'd like both of you in my office. Now."
Severus immediately pulled his bored expression into place, stuck his hands in the pockets of his robes, and slouched. "Right," he muttered, and when Dumbledore's head disappeared and the flames died down, he glanced at Remus. "You first. He likes you."
Remus gave Severus a wry look, then sighed. "Look, whatever happens, you know I'm on your side, yeah? He kissed Severus quickly, then turned and Flooed to Hogwarts.
Severus followed him into the flames, and stumbled out behind him into Dumbledore's office, just a moment later.
Dumbledore sat behind his desk, hands folded, his blue gaze stern. "I just had a very unpleasant visit from my old friend Alastor Moody. Perhaps you could elucidate as to the nature of the 'incident' in Diagon Alley?" His eyes were on Remus.
Remus swallowed. "I was walking along with Sirius and James and Peter, we were leaving the Quidditch shop to meet Lily for lunch, and Sirius saw Severus and started throwing hexes."
"Got me square in the chest," Severus added, scowling. "I think my stuff's still scattered over the street. Didn't even know they were there till then, I was going to the book shop."
Dumbledore's eyes flashed displeasure. "And what did you do then, Mr Snape?"
Severus lifted his chin defiantly. "I attacked them."
"You attacked two Aurors in front of dozens of witnesses?" Dumbledore clarified.
"He was defending himself!" Remus protested.
"I did not ask for your opinion, Remus."
Remus stared. Bloody hell, Dumbledore was angry.
"Yes, I did," Severus said firmly, gritting his teeth. "If the idiot twins had left me alone, I would not have, but I am not going to let myself be hexed and do nothing about it!"
"And you saw fit to allow this, Remus?" Dumbledore said, his words sharp.
"Allow?" Remus repeated, incredulous. "Bloody hell, Headmaster, I did everything I could to stop them!"
"As you did when you were a Prefect?"
Remus stared in silence, gutted by this reprimand.
Severus let out a bark of dry, humorless laughter. "He did try reasoning with them, I heard him."
Dumbledore sighed through his nose, rubbing his hands together idly. "And expected reasoning to work?"
Remus swallowed, trying to work up some spit in his suddenly dry mouth. "I was using Shielding Spells for Severus while I tried to get them to stop. If Moody hadn't shown up, I was going to hex Sirius myself." His voice was very quiet. "But you have to admit that, given my behaviour as a Prefect, that would have given something away." He didn't bother trying to hide his hurt and anger from Dumbledore. It was stupid; he'd just been blaming himself for that, so why did it hurt so much when Dumbledore did it?
The Headmaster didn't look at all mollified. "And you think that's a reasonable excuse for not doing the right thing?"
"What do you want from me?" Remus demanded. "As it is, Moody threatened me with charges of conspiring against the Ministry! Did he tell you that?"
"I really don't see how Remus' interceding on my behalf any more than he did could have helped anything," Severus added, gazing at Dumbledore coolly. "In fact, I think it only created problems. He should've kept out of it, as he'd always done." He moved closer so he was standing even with Remus' side and snuck a hand behind Remus, resting it lightly on the small of his back and hoping Dumbledore wouldn't notice the gesture.
Some of the tension drained from Remus at Severus' touch, but he couldn't quite shake his anger. Why hadn't Dumbledore said anything to him about this when he was still at school? It might've done some good then. Now it was just more guilt about something he couldn't change.
Dumbledore sighed again and placed his palms flat on the desk. "This places me in rather a difficult position, gentlemen. I have persuaded Alastor that Remus is not a threat to the Ministry, and that Sirius was simply continuing a rivalry begun in school, and abusing his position to do so. I do not, however, like that it called both of you into the spotlight with a prominent Auror, particularly in the presence of so many witnesses. Alastor is, as Remus knows, a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He is limited in what he can do, since I am unwilling to ask him to do anything that...requires bending of the law. To have Alastor know--or even suspect--Severus' identity as our spy among the Death Eaters is dangerous."
Severus snorted. "Because he'd run right out and arrest me anyway, you mean."
"He'd certainly be torn between his legal duty and his knowledge that this war is not going to be won by the Ministry's methods alone," Dumbledore allowed. "He is an old friend, but I am loathe to rely on that friendship too much." He frowned. "You must be careful--both of you--not to make too much of your association."
"Association?" Remus blurted before he could stop himself. Then he bit his lip and looked somewhat embarrassed.
Severus felt his cool defiance melt away at that phrasing. He frowned and dropped his head, staring at the carpet they were standing on. The hand on Remus' back gripped his shirt.
"Look, I'm in love with Severus," Remus said furiously, his protective instincts roused by Severus' reaction. "If you don't like that, it's your problem, not mine. And not theirs. I'd tell them right now if it wouldn't put him in danger. I'd tell Moody. This world doesn't want anything to do with me already, it's not like I have anything else to lose!"
Dumbledore's eyebrows went up, but he said nothing.
Severus put his other hand on Remus' arm in silent support, but could muster up nothing to add to that.
Well, at least he hadn't made Severus angry. Remus took a long breath. Dumbledore seemed to be waiting for something, but Remus was damned if he'd apologise for that.
After a long silence, Dumbledore stood. "I think it unwise, but I shan't tell you how to conduct your personal lives, insofar as they do not affect Order workings. I must insist, however, that the feud with Sirius and James cease. And before you protest again, Remus," he said, holding up a hand, "yes, I will be saying much the same things to them. I am well aware that they started this." His tone was dry. "Severus, I would appreciate it if you could resist any counter attacks against Aurors in future--at least when you can be identified."
Severus snorted, lifting his head. "Yeah, I'll do it when they can't see my face," he said dryly, picking up some of his earlier defiance. "But I don't care what you think is unwise - that's bollocks."
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, but he seemed to relax somewhat. "I am well aware that when you are working under cover you may need to fight with the Aurors. Of course I expect you to cause as little injury as possible, but I do recognise the need to defend yourself." He sighed. "Is there anything else we should discuss while you are here?"
"Yeah, you can bloody tell them that they'd better not hex me again, because I will retaliate, even if I can't right then," Severus bit out angrily, posture tense. He was more angry than when he'd come in, and he wasn't certain why, but he really wanted to pick a fight with Dumbledore, even if it wasn't a smart idea.
Remus glanced at Severus, surprised by his sudden anger.
"Considering I don't plan to tell them I spoke with you at all, I believe I'll keep that sentiment to myself, Mr Snape," Dumbledore said, his tone disapproving. "And I would prefer that you focus on justice, rather than revenge. We cannot afford to have divisions among ourselves, if we want to defeat Voldemort."
Severus rolled his eyes, but let out an unconscious hiss of displeasure at the Dark Lord's name. "They'd better not do it, I don't care what you say. All I'm saying is, that has nothing to do with the Order or the Death Eaters. I won't attack first, but that's the only promise I'll make."
Dumbledore frowned. "Mr Snape, continuing this feud with James and Sirius will threaten both your safety as our spy and your relationship with Remus. Do you really wish to take that risk?"
"I think the Dark Lord would approve of my continued feud," Severus countered, though he glanced at Remus, wondering what he was thinking.
Remus caught Severus' glance but didn't want to show his disapproval in front of Dumbledore. He was glad that Severus was willing to stand up to Dumbledore when he disagreed, but this was dangerous.
"Mr Snape, I am speaking of the danger of being discovered as a Death Eater, which puts your role as a spy in danger. If I am forced to defend you before Tom is defeated, we will lose the vital information you gather for us. It is simply too dangerous for you to continue this childish behaviour."
"Tell Sirius that!" Remus burst out.
"What am I supposed to do, then?" Severus bit out. "Let him hex me? Let him hang me in the air and strip me nude in Diagon Alley?"
Dumbledore sighed. "It is possible, Mr Snape, to defend yourself without attacking in return. And it is no shame to retreat when discretion truly is the better part of valour in a situation."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Can we go, Headmaster?" he asked rudely.
Yes, leaving was probably the best choice at the moment, Severus recognized, even if he only wanted to stay and continue to yell. But he couldn't help adding, "I'm not a coward! And those two idiots are not better than me!"
"Sometimes it is braver to walk away than it is to fight," Dumbledore said, holding Severus' gaze for a long moment. Then he sighed. "Yes, go. I'll speak with James and Sirius."
Remus tugged Severus towards the fireplace.
Severus heard Remus setting up the Floo, but he was still turned towards Dumbledore, glaring.
"You--You--Piss off!" Severus shouted, and got dragged into the green fire.
"Damn it, Severus!" Remus exclaimed when they arrived back at the flat. He blocked the Floo entirely, then turned to glare at him. "Telling Dumbledore to piss off isn't exactly the smartest thing just now!"
"I don't care!" Severus shouted, storming away from Remus and looking for something to throw. "I hate him!"
"What, for being right? You shouldn't hex them!" Remus sighed and dropped onto the sofa. "And they shouldn't hex you, and they shouldn't use fucking Unforgivables against you, and this whole bloody situation shouldn't be happening. Merlin." He slumped back against the cushions, closing his eyes.
"It's fucking bollocks!" Severus looked around, but he felt bad smashing something of Remus'. Then he thought of the cabinet he'd taken over with potions, and stomped to that, throwing the door open. "If I'd Crucio'd Black, I'd go to prison! But he can do it to me because he's an Auror? Fuck that!" He grabbed a jar of dried lizard tails and threw it across the room.
Remus bolted upright at the sound of crashing. "The fuck?" Then he saw the...desiccated somethings on the floor. "Yeurg. You're cleaning that up." He stood and crossed closer to Severus. "Look, I know that's bollocks. I've heard Moody doesn't even like the Aurors using Unforgivables, maybe that's why he Stunned Sirius, I dunno. But we can't change that unless we win the war. You know I don't necessarily think everything called Dark is evil, but Voldemort's killing people to get what he wants--that isn't right, either, Severus."
"Don't fucking say his name!" Severus grabbed an empty potions bottle he hadn't yet refilled and threw that, too. "The Ministry kills people! The Order kills people! You even bloody Crucio'd my friend, so fuck you too!"
Remus looked away at the sound of the bottle smashing against the wall, hoping that wasn't damaging the flat. "I know it's not right, Severus! But the Ministry, the Order, they didn't start this war! And you didn't have to sign up for it, either!"
"I know that! I know I bloody bollocksed up my entire fucking life, all right?" Severus glared at the shattered glass littering the floor. "I'm so bloody sick of being treated like I don't fucking matter because I'm not either a fucking Gryffindor or some rich pureblood nob. The Dark Lord doesn't care, Dumbledore doesn't care...I'm bloody sick of it!"
Severus' words deflated Remus' budding anger. He sighed and looked down at the floor. "You matter to me," he said quietly. "I know I"m just a poor, half-blood werewolf with no particular prospects and nothing much to give you, but you mean the world to me."
Severus slumped, watching Remus and feeling tired. "I know. Sorry."
Remus looked up, then went over and put his arms around Severus. "You don't have to apologise for telling me how you feel," he said. "You're entitled to your opinions." He nuzzled Severus' neck lightly.
"He doesn't want you to be with me," Severus murmured, putting his arms around Remus tightly.
"Yeah, well, that's proof that he can be wrong sometimes," Remus growled. "I'll never want anyone but you."
Severus took a deep breath and let it out slowly, clearing his mind. "Love you."
"I love you, too," Remus whispered. He kissed Severus' ear. "Why don't you leave the cleaning up for later and come shag me?"
Severus didn't think he could really say, 'Because I've been Crucio'd'. Besides, he was determined that Sirius' stupid little attempt at an Unforgiveable not affect him. "All right." He nipped Remus' earlobe.
"Mmm," Remus said, smiling and pulling away slowly. "Excellent." He took one of Severus' hands in his and led him towards the bedroom.
Severus smiled and followed. He'd probably be all right. He hadn't been cursed that badly. "I don't care what sort of job you'll have or how much money you make or where you live. I'll always want you." He closed the bedroom door behind them, watching Remus with a heated gaze.
Remus' smile brightened as he looked back at Severus. "Well, then, you're all I'll ever need."
Severus moved forward, brushing his fingertips across Remus' cheek, and leaned in to kiss him.
Remus responded warmly, his hands coming up to cradle Severus' face as they kissed.