Who: Jake & Marco What: Sappy codependency. Experiment week 16 Where: The Gym When: Sometime during the night Warnings | Status: Boy feelings | Complete
“Marco?” Jake whispered, leaning close to his friend. Jake didn’t know why he was bothering keeping his voice down. Rachel was gone, there was no one else to wake up inside the gym. It wasn’t like any of them slept through the night anyway what with their awful nightmares. Jake wasn’t even sure Marco was sleeping just then. He just.. He wanted to talk. But that didn’t mean Marco had to be awake to hear it, honestly. Jake didn’t mind talking while his friend slept, nevermind that it made it much easier to say shit.
Jake didn’t sleep much. He spent the night awake worrying about everything whether or not he had control over it. When he did sleep it was only to wake up screaming later. 2 hours at a time. That was it. Maybe 2 hours in one night. Sometimes up to 5 with long periods in between. Marco wasn’t lying when he said Jake needed to sleep.
The boy scooted closer to his friend, briefly reaching out to make sure Marco was breathing. Paranoia and extreme fear made him worry about his friend.
“Sorry, man,” Jake whispered, touching his forehead to Marco’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for everything. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
***
The teenager lingered in that place between sleeping and wakefulness, his mind slipping from dream to reality and unable to distinguish the two. Jake’s voice was always clear, though. Even in his dreams. He reluctantly found himself awake, but Marco was disinclined to move. When Jake touched him, Marco sighed and reached up a hand to pat Jake’s hair, like he had when they were stuck living in the woods. Sure, most people would think it was weird, but most people didn’t spend years of their lives terrified and unable to trust anyone else.
Still, he kept his breathing steady, giving the impression that he was completely asleep. If Jake needed to talk, and thought it was easier when Marco couldn’t hear him, Marco could pretend to sleep. Besides, he was mostly asleep already.
***
Jake paused when Marco touched his hair, eyes closed and breath held. He didn’t want to wake him up but he still welcomed the comfort. Cassie was the only other person that touched Jake in any capacity and he drank up her emotional support like a dying man. He drank up Marco’s too.
His friend kept sleeping though, so Jake eventually moved. He propped himself up one elbow and watched Marco in the dark. He’d done that a lot recently, just making sure they were there and alive. A sharp pain shot through Jake’s chest at the thought that he might wake up alone one day. Marco might disappear from the dome. And what then? What then, Jake?
Then he’d probably kill himself.
Jake touched Marco’s hair, pushing his curls away.
“You matter to me, you idiot. I know you don’t believe it.” Why was Jake even saying this shit? First he’d admitted to wanting to kiss him, to possibly wanting sex with him and Cassie, and now this? It was like someone put a spout in his brain and turned on his thoughts so it all just came out.
“I just want you to be happy,” he lowered his head, resting it against Marco’s, his face half buried in Marco’s hair.
***
Marco loved having his hair touched. The only other person who’d ever stroked his hair like that had been his mother, back before… (and the Yeerk in her head, but Marco didn’t want to think about that right now). He mumbled something and shifted over to curl against Jake, still half-asleep, “I’m happy now.” He murmured and yawned.
***
Again, Jake paused, but he welcomed Marco in his arms. Other people would think it was weird, probably. But the boys were friends before most people knew what it meant. They’d been through more than any friends in the world could claim. How many other boys would curl into the kid that held you down while you both watched your mother plummet to her death? Jake still heard Marco screaming.
He wrapped his arms around Marco, holding him close, his heart thudding heavily in his chest. But it pounded for a brief minute before Jake relaxed. He’d never be completely at ease again, but he could breathe easier with his friend there. Jake sighed softly, curling one hand into Marco’s hair to cradle his head lightly.