InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "dip it low girl"

Andy Gallagher is not the droid you're looking for (brain_ninja) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-07-17 05:03:00

Entry tags:

!complete, andy gallagher, day 15, elliot reid, location: church

Day Fifteen - Late Evening
Who: Andy Gallagher and Elliot Reid
What: Finding out that Elliot's okay
Where: The Church
When: Day 15, late evening
Rating: PG-13 just in case (possible graphic imagery in introspection, that is)
Status: Complete

Judging by the fact that a few joints had only served to make Andy more paranoid and upset, rather than relaxed and mellow as per usual, it could only be deduced that Tonks had been correct in assuming that the point of the day was to break him. He'd seen Sam's handwriting in the journals and Shannon and Lexie's names on the roster Sam had put up, but Elliot hadn't been listed as present, deceased, or missing. It had only served to panic him more. He was supposed to be looking out for her. He was supposed to be keeping her safe. Andy had failed Luna and he'd thought he'd failed Lexie, but he wanted to make good on it with Elliot, but he'd failed there, too. At that point, he'd have welcomed the cougar all over again in place of the emotional baggage, worry, and pain he was carrying right then.

Even though he'd found that the deaths he'd witnessed had been fabricated - which, at the very least, gave him hope for Martha yet - they'd been horrible to watch. Worse to see Luna's burned corpse, let alone smell the burnt flesh. Waking up in the cemetary alone had freaked him out and he hoped like hell that Tonks had woken up somewhere safely as well. All he could think about, though, was Elliot's being missing in action and the way that Tonks had been so unsure about whether she'd been the only one to make it out of their first experiment alive.

Andy was jittery as he smoked a fourth joint on the front stairs of the church. He'd tried going inside. He'd tried walking around looking for her. Finally, Andy had been reduced to sitting outside hoping like hell that he'd see her coming up or down the road toward him sooner than later. Elliot had to be okay. She was his only charge; his only job. He'd have traded anything to know that he hadn't completely let her down.

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frickonastick
2009-07-22 04:01 pm UTC (link)

By the time Elliot was finally walking up the path to the church she was exhausted by the days events. In a single day she'd been terrified, suffocated, blinded and then left to her own thoughts in the deserted pharmacy. She'd sat there in shock for a long time, afraid that if she moved she'd start off a new round of torture-the-doctor. Eventually she'd spotted her journal a few feet away and had gotten up the courage to look through it's pages. Finding that Tonks, Andy and Lexie were okay had given her the emotional strength to head back to the church.

It was starting to get dark, but she could vaguely make out a shape on the front steps of the church in the twilight. She spotted the orange glow of a cigarette and moved faster, breaking into a run for the last bit of distance between them. "Andy!" She called out, relieved to see him.

When she reached him, she threw her arms around him and hugged him hard, feeling her eyes tear up. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

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brain_ninja
2009-07-22 04:39 pm UTC (link)

At the sound of Elliot's voice, Andy's head snapped up in the direction of it and he let the joint drop to the dirt road as he got quickly to his feet. He was moving toward Elliot, too, but she was moving faster and when she reached him, she threw her arms around him. Andy clung back to her like he was afraid if he let her go, she'd disappear again. One of his arms hugged tightly around her waist horizontally while the other was vertical up against her back with his hand on the back of her head.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again, either," he admitted grimly. Part of him was so relieved that he kind of wanted to kiss her; the other half reminded him that she was just Elliot, nothing more than a friend by choice. So, instead, he held her tightly, his chin on her shoulder for a moment longer before pulling away from her and looking her over. "You okay?" he asked, his eyes scanning up and down her body in search of injuries. Not that he would be able to help her any more than she could probably help herself, but if she'd had as shitty a day as he had - and it sounded like maybe she had - then she could be too much in shock to have noticed.

Seeing Elliot right there in front of him was almost emotionally overwhelming to him. He wondered if it'd be even worse when he saw Sam or Lexie in person. While Andy'd been worried about Elliot...he hadn't watched her being murdered. Thank God it was over. He was going to cling to the idea that it really was over, especially now that Elliot was alive and standing inches away.

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frickonastick
2009-07-22 11:39 pm UTC (link)

Elliot squeezed her eyes shut as Andy hugged her, unable to speak as she tried to fight down a sob of relief. For the first time since she'd woken up in the glass box with Tonks early that morning she felt safe. After a moment, Andy pulled away and without realizing it, Elliot gripped his arm with one hand as if she was afraid he was going to move away.

He asked her if she was okay and she gave a small laugh, her eyes welling up as she shook her head. "Not really," she admitted, sucking in a deep breath. She really didn't want to go on a crying jag in front of Andy. She glanced upwards, letting go of his arm to reach up and wipe away the tears in the corners of her eyes.

She took a moment to collect herself and when she looked back at Andy it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. Tonk's advice to her in the journals suddenly came back to her. Take care of each other, yeah? We..saw another person. We both knew her.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her voice shaking slightly as she studied his face. He was high, she could tell that much. Normally that might have bothered her a little, but not right now. Whatever he'd been through had been just as bad or worse as what she had. She could see it in his face. Unable to resist she hugged him again, letting out a long sigh against his neck. "Andy, I'm sorry."

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brain_ninja
2009-07-23 03:52 am UTC (link)

Elliot's response to his concern broke Andy's heart. Taking her face gently in one hand, Andy pushed her hair carefully out of her face with the other. "I know, I'm sorry," he replied. "I mean physically, are you okay?" he tried again as she let go of his arm and wiped her eyes. His brow furrowed and he frowned. What was it about crying women that always made men want to put things right for them? He wondered if maybe it was just him and it wasn't a man thing at all...

Then, Elliot asked if he was okay and he shook his head. "I've never been less okay," he admitted, "but I'm still in one piece." When Elliot hugged him again, sighing against his neck, he shivered at the ticklish sensation that came in response to it. He rubbed her back slowly and held her close again. If she's going to fall apart...

He heard her apologize to him, just then.

...then so am I. Andy closed his eyes and set his jaw as he felt the prickle of tears of his own. Resting his chin on her shoulder and stroking her hair again, Andy let himself go. He sure as shit wasn't going to cry in front of Jim and he'd been trying to stay strong for Tonks. Elliot was his friend and if anyone wouldn't judge him for crying, he hoped it'd be her. Besides, she was fucking crying anyway. It wasn't like he was sobbing, but he'd watched five people being murdered in front of his eyes and then had been face to face with Luna's burnt corpse. He could practically still smell the singed hair. Andy figured he was entitled to at least shed a tear and let himself break down a little bit.

It took a lot of effort to keep his voice under control all the while swallowing thickly against a sob he refused to release, but he did the best he could. "Please don't ever be sorry," he said in a low voice. "It's not your fault."

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frickonastick
2009-07-24 06:15 pm UTC (link)

"Yes," she said with a small nod, her hand moving up to touch her throat when he asked her if she was okay physically. Her voice was still hoarse and she thought she could still feel the phantom heat of the fire on her skin, but other than that she was fine. The trails of blood on her clothes were not her own.

"I'm glad," she whispered when he said he was still in one piece. Elliot closed her eyes as he rubbed her back and stroked her hair, taking comfort in Andy's touch. It was nice to just be held for a moment. It made her feel like she wasn't so alone.

She thought maybe Andy felt the same way, considering the way he seemed to relax into her hug. His words caused a new wave of tears to come to the surface and this time she couldn't stop the small sob from escaping her lips. "They killed Sid," she said, hugging Andy closer. "They suffocated him with gas. Why would they do that? He was just a kid."

She struggled to swallow down the lump in her throat, pulling back to look at Andy. She sighed, not bothering to wipe away her tears this time as she looked at Andy. "I'm sorry about your friend. Tonks told me you...saw someone else."

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brain_ninja
2009-07-25 06:21 am UTC (link)

The way that Elliot seemed to relax into the hug made Andy feel better about doing the same thing. There was something morbidly comforting about clinging to her, just then. Morbid because his level of relief in seeing her was far higher for having watched his other two friends die horribly. It made him feel guilty for not being relieved in his own rite.

Andy's eyes remained closed when he heard Elliot let out a small sob and hugged him harder as she explained what had happened to the kid called Sid that he'd seen in the journals a few times. Spliff...that was all that kid talked about. Spliff, Pyramid - whatever that was - and a girl named Cassie. Andy had been able to piece together, at least, that spliff was weed. He was sorry to hear that he'd never get to smoke a fatty with the kid and talk about stupid bullshit over a joint. He was more sorry that Elliot had to see the body and was broken over the fact that he was still a kid.

Elliot pulled away, catching Andy off guard and not giving him enough time to wipe his own leaking eyes. The tears rolling down her cheeks made him want to cry even more, if only because seeing her like that when she'd been so strong-willed during the earthquake was hard to see. When she brought up Luna, Andy set his jaw again and nodded curtly, swallowing thickly. "Yeah," was all he could manage.

Clearing his throat, Andy nodded toward the church. "C'mon, let's get inside," he said quietly. Staying out in the cold wasn't exactly appealing to him and he doubted it would be to her once her body registered the chill.

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frickonastick
2009-07-29 04:03 am UTC (link)

Elliot watched the tears fall down Andy's face with a mixture of sympathy and concern. Part of her felt like maybe she should look away, since most guys didn't really want you to see them get emotional, but the stronger part of her was afraid that if she looked away from Andy for even a second, if she blinked, he would be gone and she would be alone. When she asked about his friend she could see his face harden. "I'm so sorry," she repeated, feeling her chin wobble. She'd barely known Sid. She got the feeling that whoever Andy had lost he had known much better.

"Okay," Elliot whispered back, reaching out and sliding her arm through his and gripping his hand tightly. She put her head on his shoulder as they started to move towards the church. Ordinarily she would've felt awkward about being so familiar with Andy, especially considering the fact that she'd practically ripped his clothes off the day before, but that didn't really matter right now. Right now she needed to feel close to someone. Safe. She needed to know she wasn't alone.

"What did they do to you?" She asked, her voice quiet and low.

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brain_ninja
2009-07-31 04:14 am UTC (link)

Clearing his throat, Andy shook his head. Her apology, while appreciated, wouldn't bring Luna back and wouldn't wash away the memory of the stench of Luna's burnt flesh and singed hair; wouldn't help him forget the blood everywhere and the way Luna looked so broken, crumpled on the floor.

He was glad when Elliot agreed to go inside. Elliot's hand held his tightly and he gave it a weak squeeze that he hoped was at least a little bit reassuring as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer as they walked inside.

The door creaked closed behind them and Andy led her down the aisle toward the front of the church where they'd been sleeping in their respective pews in the front row. When she asked what they'd done to him, he closed his eyes in a slow blink. "Well, they didn't suffocate me with gas," he replied. "I got to watch people die on security monitors and then got stuck in a room full of mirrors and blood where I not only got to enjoy the fragrance of burnt hair and skin, but found Luna's body. Good times," he replied in a dull monotone before sighing heavily.

Andy led Elliot to her pew and guided her to sit, standing over her as he looked cautiously around the church, checking for anything that might possibly be out of place. Finally, he looked back at her and sat down beside her. "Look, I know it's gonna sound awful, but you gotta try and get some sleep. I'll keep watch. I won't even get up to take a leak unless I let you know first, okay? I'll stay up and keep you safe," he promised.

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frickonastick
2009-08-01 06:10 am UTC (link)

Andy wrapped an arm around Elliot and she gave a small weary sigh. She was exhausted from the day's events, but she knew she wasn't going to be getting any sleep any time soon. The sight of Sid would haunt her, as well as the malevolent force that had taunted her and Dr. McCoy. Then there was always the chance that when she opened her eyes tomorrow she'd be somewhere else in another experiment. She shuddered as they crossed the threshold into the church and Andy led her to the front where the pews they'd slept on the night before were.

Elliot felt a new wave of tears leak from the corner of her eyes as Andy described his own experiences. She couldn't fathom what kind of people would subject other people to this kind of thing. What was the purpose? What could they possibly gain from it? Lab rats implied that there was a method to the madness. Some kind of hypothesis that was trying to be proved, but maybe they weren't lab rats at all. Maybe they were just someone's playthings. She couldn't let herself think about it. She didn't want to. She wanted to pretend like it hadn't happened, even though she knew that wasn't an option. Not when people had died not when Andy was standing in front of her looking so lost and broken.

She sunk into the seat and a moment later Andy sat beside her. She looked at him with wide unblinking eyes as he spoke, shaking her head quickly. "No," she said, reaching out for his hand. "I can't sleep. Even if I wanted to...I just couldn't."

She leaned her head on his shoulder and stared at the Christ figure on the wall. He seemed to be watching her. She shifted her gaze to Andy. "Andy, I don't know what I'd do if I'd come back and you weren't here. I mean, I don't want to sound like a stalker or like I think the other day was anything but..." She trailed off and pulled back to shake her head. After a moment's hesitation she moved forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Thank you."

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brain_ninja
2009-08-01 06:34 am UTC (link)

Elliot's reaction to Andy's suggestion that she get some sleep was unsurprising, but he could tell that she needed it. "Elliot..." he said in a soft almost pleading tone. "You have to try. I will not let anything happen to you. You have my word. You sleep, I'll be right here; you can keep watch for me in the morning and I'll play nocturnal for the day, okay? Please," he said seriously.

The idea of Elliot staying up all night whether out of fear or over-exhaustion didn't sit well with him at all. He was her buddy; he'd do it right this time. If it killed him, he'd stay up for the night and keep her safe, but for his own peace of mind, he need Elliot to sleep. Beside that, if she was sleeping, he could really and truly grieve Luna without feeling awkward or guilty about it for doing so in front of her more than he already had.

Sighing, Andy rubbed Elliot's arm absently as she leaned her head on his shoulder and stared at the wall. His eyes, too, were on the crucifix as she spoke. Without looking away from the crucifix, he nodded. "It's okay," he replied. "I know it wasn't anything and I know how you feel; I came back and you weren't here," he said softly.

Andy only looked up when he felt Elliot pull away and he shifted his eyes to look over at her. In spite of himself, he smiled weakly against Elliot's lips when she kissed him. "You're welcome, although I'm not sure what for," he admitted quietly, brushing some of her hair out of her face with one hand and looking sympathetically back at her. He paused and looked down then. "You really do need to try to sleep, gorgeous," he said softly.

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frickonastick
2009-08-01 07:04 am UTC (link)

Elliot's face softened as Andy asked her again to get some sleep. The way he promised not to let anything happen to her broke her heart, especially since she knew there was no way he could really keep that promise. Not in this place. Still, the fact that he was trying so hard to look out for her was touching and for a moment she thought about agreeing just to make him feel better. The thought of lying still with her eyes closed and the silence hanging around them was too much to take and she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I would if I could," she said, her voice quiet. "Maybe later."

She felt him smile against her lips and she wondered if it was just because she'd surprised him or if it was just naturally in Andy to smile about things. That was one of the things she liked most about him, how things seemed to roll off him. Not this though. This had shaken him up and she saw it in his face just as much as she felt it in her own. He reached out and brushed her hair out of her face, his fingertips brushing her cheekbone and she suddenly knew what she wanted. It wasn't the same as the other day when all she'd been able to think about was the physical need and heat. This was more about breaking out of a state of shock. She wanted to feel something other than the heavy despair and sick feeling in her gut about what had happened.

She paused, searching Andy's eyes for a moment before swallowing and letting out a small sigh. "Andy, could we just..." She wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. She pressed her lips together and then leaned forward again, kissing the corner of his mouth and then moving down to his neck. She pulled back and fixed him with a questioning look. "Please?"

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brain_ninja
2009-08-01 07:22 am UTC (link)

A small frown tugged Andy's lips downward slightly when Elliot continued to decline sleep. She sounded like she felt badly; like she thought she was letting him down and that made Andy feel badly. "Okay," he relented after a long pause. "When you're ready, I'm here." It was a promise he wanted so badly to keep that he almost believed that he could.

Elliot seemed to be looking for something in Andy's face and while he had no idea what it could be, he sat still, looking back at her, his expression open. Whatever she was looking for, he wanted to be able to give it to her if he couldn't make her feel safe enough to try to sleep. His eyebrows raised slightly with curiosity as she started her sentence and let it trail off. The feel of her lips on the corner of his mouth made Andy's eyes close and he swallowed thickly as she moved her kiss down to his neck. He let out a soft sigh and opened his eyes again as she pulled back.

Was it taking advantage if she was asking? Elliot didn't really seem like she was in a very good place emotionally for sex and honestly, Andy wasn't either, but the idea of a distraction made him think twice. It might be nice and he already knew it was good. Well, great actually. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly, looking back at her. Maybe she was onto something, after all, but he didn't want to jump on it and have her think later on that he was a creep for it.

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frickonastick
2009-08-01 08:05 am UTC (link)

She thought she saw some doubt cross his face, though the truth was she didn't know him well enough to know for sure what the look he was giving her was. Was he judging her? Was he trying to measure her up to see if she was serious or not? Maybe it wasn't the best reaction, wanting to have sex after a day like that one. Maybe he was still trying to deal with everything and he didn't need her throwing herself at him just because she wanted to feel close to someone.

She was going to apologize and take it back. This was probably the last thing that he needed right now, but then he asked her if she was sure and all she could do was nod before turning towards him cupping his face and kissing him resolutely. She wanted to feel close to him in a way that wasn't possible with the layers of clothes between them and her hand slid down his chest to the bottom of his shirt where she began pushing it up. She needed to know that she could still feel something besides hopelessly lost.

She pulled back long enough to pull off his shirt and then crushed her lips against his again, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to block out everything else. Willing, for a moment at least, for there not to be anything else but her and Andy as she pushed him back on the pew.

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brain_ninja
2009-08-01 08:25 am UTC (link)

Elliot nodded and kissed him, surprising Andy slightly. This was probably the worst time in the world for what he was pretty sure they were about to do, but Andy was ready and willing to go with it because it meant the prospect of forgetting the smell of Luna's burnt hair and the blood...all the blood. It meant potentially forgetting, just for a moment, watching Sam hacked to death; Martha stabbed; Lexie murdered before his eyes, never mind the two others he hadn't known at all. He hadn't thought he and Elliot were going to be that sort of friends, but right now, he was glad for it. It would mean pretending, just for a little while, that the rest of the day hadn't happened at all and that the only other person in the world was Elliot.

When she pulled away to take his shirt off, Andy took the chance to do the same for her, discarding it carelessly as she pushed him back on the pew. Not the most desirable place to be having at, but it probably beat the floor, he told himself as his hands ran over the bare skin of her back until one of them reached her bra clasps. With the same deft movement he'd used before, he unclasped it and moved his hand gently over the skin beneath as he continued to kiss her.

Andy's lips moved away from hers and down to her throat. Her skin was soft and he nuzzled her jaw with his nose gently before returning his mouth to hers. There was something morbidly comforting about her just then as he slid one hand into her hair. It was weird and probably wrong, but Andy was enjoying himself and slowly fading out of his disturbed and depressed funk, however warranted it may have been.

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frickonastick
2009-08-03 07:18 am UTC (link)

She could feel his hand at her back, his fingers brushing the spot where fabric met skin and then the release of the catch as he bra loosened. She tried to concentrate intently on the feel of Andy's fingertips as they brushed over her skin, or the soft brush of his lips against her throat. She shifted as their lips met again, sliding one hand down between them to work on the clasp of his jeans and taking his free hand and putting it on her bare leg below her skirt.

She'd wanted something that would make her feel alive and break her out of the shock she'd been in since she'd woken up in the gas station, but as she kissed Andy back, once again closing her eyes to try to break out the surroundings of the church she could feel it bearing down on her like an avalanche. Any minute it the full reality of this place - the fact that she almost died, that there was no escape - would hit her and all she knew was that she didn't want to be alone when it did. As long as Andy was touching her, kissing her, holding onto her she wouldn't be alone. He couldn't protect her, but he could do that.

She broke their kiss in order to pull look at him. She felt the start of tears prickling her nose, but she fought them back, taking a deep breath before leaning down to kiss him lightly on the lips. "Thank you," she whispered. Realizing she'd never clarified before when he'd commented on it she gave him a weak smile. "For being here."

It was funny how sometimes when nothing else could be done, that was all that mattered.

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