InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "42"

madeinwales (madeinwales) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-06-26 23:15:00

Entry tags:

!complete, day 12, ianto jones, jack harkness, location: barn

End of day 12
Who: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness
What: Regrouping
Where: The barn
When: Day 12, evening
Rating: PG13
Status: Complete

Forever ago and an hour ago and a moment ago, Ianto had watched a straw dummy go up in flames.

The problem with this was that it was a dummy dressed as Captain Jack Harkness. Sure, there were other dummies, burning just as fiercely, but the one dressed in blue wool and braces was the one that held his attention. He watched it burn to cinders, back rigid and frame tense and when it was over, he stalked, speaking nary a word to anyone, to find a corner to huddle in. This sorely rattled his defenses.

Ianto ended up in a corner of the barn, since it was the only place really intact these days, with the coat pulled tight round himself and his face buried in the collar. It didn't smell like Jack, but the wool was the same, the scratches against his face, the warm weight of it, was the same. Then, and only then, did he let himself sob, very softly. If he heard footsteps, he'd deny everything, since it wasn't Jack that burned, just straw. But this was enough to shake Ianto to his bones, for whatever reason.

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capt_harkness
2009-07-18 01:31 am UTC (link)

They had been released. For whatever reason, they all had been let go -- no experiment beyond putting the lot of them within a windowless room (and giving them their journals no less!) and seeing what happened. Jack hadn't been in the mood to do much outside of sit there and exchange a few words.

It made no sense, but then again, Jack had stopped trying to make heads or tails of this damn place lately. But he was released dropped off in much the same manner. Walking slowly through town, Jack came upon the charred remains of the straw men, obviously the ones Ianto had mentioned in the journal. If anything, it seemed like more of a psychological warfare on those left behind as opposed to those taken. Someone, he wasn't surprised in the least.

Jack traversed the compound, heading towards the barn -- as good a place as any to find Ianto. He stepped inside, shielding his eyes and looking for his lover. Yes, the journals would have been faster, but after being taken, Jack wasn't sure if Ianto would be willing to believe written words. About to leave the barn, Jack paused seeing the figure curled up in a corner: Ianto curled up in his Coat. Jack's heart damn near broke seeing him curled up -- a man he'd watched stay by his side facing Daleks and Weevils and Captain John and anything else the Rift threw at them suddenly looked so broken. Swallowing hard, Jack moved towards him, kneeling beside the other man, not daring to touch him. Not yet.

"Ianto?"

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madeinwales
2009-07-18 01:33 am UTC (link)

There were two coats, now, it seemed. One wrapped around Jack and the other holding a huddled Ianto.

He startled a little as his name was called, softly, and looked up. Of course he recognized the voice, but it still did good to check. There were clones about. Or had been, at least. Ianto stretched a hand out, the sleeve it was in a bit too big, and touched lightly at the Captain, making certain he was real. "I'm not.. it's not because I thought I lost you," he said, trying to clarify what was happening. "It's ... because it was dressed like you."

It didn't make sense and he knew it didn't make sense but that's all he had to offer. Carefully, he mopped at his face with the sleeve of the coat and simply looked as miserable as Ianto could look. It made him look very young.

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capt_harkness
2009-07-18 01:31 am UTC (link)

It was strange seeing another greatcoat about, at least in this time period. Still, it looked good on him, fitting somehow. It was only when Ianto straightened that Jack saw the dampness on his cheeks. Jack swallowed hard, scootching forward and brushed the wetness away with his thumb. Such a tender gesture, though he said nothing about the fact that Ianto had been crying -- he wouldn't make him feel bad for showing that bit of emotion.

"Of course, anyone would have that reaction to the strawmen. I saw them on my way back here. Didn't think bonfire night was so close," Jack replied, because this was how they worked. They were together but they never spoke beyond that simple knowledge. Rarely did Jack see Ianto looking like this -- though it was their experience with Adam that stuck in Jack's mind. Though he'd been through so much, it was the reminder that Ianto was so young. Without a word, he settled himself on the floor beside Ianto.

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madeinwales
2009-07-18 01:34 am UTC (link)

"S'not funny. Never liked burning effigies on bonfire night," he murmured and looked over at Jack. Jack seemed intact, but then it was always hard to tell with him. The physical healed up so quickly and left Ianto with only the barest of clues.

After a moment, Ianto gave in and swayed a little towards Jack so that they were resting shoulder to shoulder. In a moment, if he could talk himself into it, he was going to crawl into Jack's coat, second coat and all. But for the moment, this was enough. Actually talking about what they were feeling would have been best, sure, if they were anyone else. Ianto knew that Jack was aware of what he was going through. It was enough.

"It .. was largely uneventful. Except for the bonfire." Oh, screw the reports. He knew he should give one, but didn't much want to. And arms wrapped in wool were sneaking around Jack's waist. Well. One arm, at least. One was held still.

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capt_harkness
2009-07-18 01:31 am UTC (link)

"Some apparently do," Jack replied. "It's part of your culture afterall, not mine," he pointed out with a smirk. Jack was completely intact and he wasn't going to need his coat mended either which was a change from the usual. But at least there was another coat to take buttons from, there was that at least, right?

Had Ianto not leaned in, Jack would have drawn the other man into his arms. For now, though, this would have to do. Oh, who was he kidding? Jack shifted enough so it was easier to let Ianto crawl into his lap if that's what he wanted.

"Bonfire's eventful," Jack replied. "Other than being taken, nothing happened. Doctor, Logan, Sam, Gambit... few others I hadn't met before today. We were there and then they let us go."

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madeinwales
2009-07-18 01:34 am UTC (link)

"Then.. it wasn't much of an experiment and I suppose we should be thankful." That it wasn't much much worse. It seemed that his own mind was more fiendish than the minds of the people who took them. Or sicker.

But then, he's seen pretty sick, to be honest. This doesn't compare in the least.

After a moment's hesitation, Ianto was sliding himself into Jack's lap, neat as you please. The two coats were arranged so that they were hiding in RAF wool and for a moment Ianto could pretend that they weren't here. Just a moment. That's all he wanted. It wasn't too much to ask, was it? "Very few things to be thankful of, in here." It wasn't much of a conversation, was it? They were dancing around the topic like it had been choreographed.

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capt_harkness
2009-07-18 01:32 am UTC (link)

Jack was indeed thankful. By now, he was certain the Insider had realised he couldn't die and the number of things that they could experiment... no, Jack had spent a few sleepless nights already running through things in his mind. "All the more to keep screwing with us," Jack replied. "Take some for experiments and do things, take others and just hold us. What next?" What next indeed.

No, Jack wasn't smiling and no, he wasn't sliding his arms around the other man to keep him close, nor was his nose pressing against Ianto's temple, breathing in his scent. He wasn't doing any of those things except, well, maybe he was. Because he needed to just hold onto Ianto and Jack had a feeling Ianto felt the same. "I'm safe and I'm fine. I promise," Jack murmured into Ianto's hair; if he didn't say it, they'd never discuss it.

Jack didn't do emotions and Ianto was too British.

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madeinwales
2009-07-18 01:34 am UTC (link)

Maybe they should both get absolutely rat arsed one day. Ianto didn't do much with emotions then, either, but his mouth had a tendency to run away with him when drunk. Along with things vanishing into his trousers. He might be able to say what needed saying, with a bit of liquid courage. As it stood now, though, he simply nodded and rest his forehead against Jack's cheek, sharing air and space.

"I don't want to know what next. Not yet. I want .. I want a few days to regroup." He wanted no more bodies to turn up. It was disturbing how regularly people had begun to die. How long until it was his turn?

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capt_harkness
2009-07-18 01:32 am UTC (link)

Wasn't often that Jack got drunk or felt the need to drink heavily, but he was finding exceptions to those hard-won rules -- particularly after the journal conversation. Obviously he hadn't drowned and Ianto hadn't been burned, but the thought still stuck with him even now. And, judging by the way Ianto had curled against him, something had happened to bother him so completely.

"I don't know if we're going to get a few days to regroup," Jack-the-killjoy said softly. "Or we could as they keep throwing us off the track and what they're really doing. Tomorrow the sky will start raining gumdrops. Could use the food, really."

Ianto's death was something Jack didn't want to even think about, not right now. As if he could pick up on his lover's thoughts, Jack's arms flexed, holding Ianto tightly against his chest. "What happened here after we were taken?"

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madeinwales
2009-07-18 01:34 am UTC (link)

Ianto was bothered and Ianto needed the comfort and the shelter, even if he could scarce admit to it. Part of him still rebelled at the idea of needing someone to shelter against, but the rest of him overrode that little veto and gave and took comfort with Jack.

He stirred a little as Jack's arms tightened. "If it's going to rain food, I could do with bags of coffee beans and teacakes. Or well wrapped boxes of pizza. I think I'd settle for being hit in the head with a bagel. Too much happened after you were taken." Briefly, Ianto wondered if he could keep this coat, when they got out of here. And he had to think in terms of when and not if. Because otherwise he may just as well give up rather like L seemed to have.

Instead of pulling away to talk, Ianto went with the tightening and nestled himself very comfortably against his lover. And it was his lover that he needed now. "Seriously, compared to some of the things we've been through, this shouldn't be as bad as it is. This doesn't really hold a candle to Brecon Beacons. There were more bodies. Not just one or two but several of them. There was a lot to bury. Then bonfire night, then Shannon losing hope. People are starting to give up."

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capt_harkness
2009-07-18 01:32 am UTC (link)

They were two very strong males and it was hard to admit that they needed to rely on someone else. Perhaps that was what had drawn Jack to Ianto in the first place (not counting his refusal to hire the man, of course).

Jack sighed, making a noise of contentment. "I don't even care if there isn't a coffee press. I'll chew the damn beans at this point. A week has to be the longest I've ever gone without coffee." Even when travelling through time as he had, Jack still managed to find someplace to get a cup every few days. Maybe that was his problem: caffeine withdrawl. "It still is the same day, right?" God, what if they had screwed with time? Who knew how long they'd been in that cell.

And how bad was it for Ianto to be acting this way? Or maybe he was reflecting Jack's own need to be held. He couldn't help but think of his conversation with Shannon: he didn't always have to be the strong one. Here, in the corner of the barn, away from prying eyes, Jack could drop that masque he usually wore. Always with Ianto could he relax and be Jack... not the Captain.

"Or Canary Wharf for that matter," Jack muttered out of the side of his mouth. "I think that's what they're going for: the loss of hope. Our cell, if you could call it that, had the saying 'no one mourns the wicked' on it." Shannon losing hope... and Dean's messages in his journal... Gently, Jack tilted Ianto's face up. "What about you? Have you given up?"

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madeinwales
2009-07-18 01:35 am UTC (link)

Canary Wharf. Nothing was as bad as Canary Wharf. Put in that context, this wasn't nearly as bad. Just ... long and irritating. Ianto took in a breath and let it out, long and slow, and gathered himself mentally. He wasn't shutting Jack out, quite the contrary, but he was putting the fear he felt someplace else.

"If beans fell from the sky, I would figure out a way to make you a cup of coffee, even if I had to crush them under my shoes. There would be coffee." Ianto shook his head, loosening his face from Jack's gentle grip. "No, I haven't given up. I'm a bit overwhelmed, though, I don't mind admitting. And we're not wicked, either. We didn't do the kidnapping and the fear mongering." Still, Ianto didn't shift away. The comfort of being two ordinary people, even just for a moment, was too great to want to leave.

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capt_harkness
2009-07-18 01:32 am UTC (link)

In truth, Jack probably shouldn't have mentioned Canary Wharf, but he also felt the situation needed a bit of perspective for them both. Well, perhaps for Ianto -- Jack had his own demons to fight and still hearing Gray's voice in the back of his head wasn't helping matters in the slightest. Closing his eyes for a moment, Jack worked on pushing his own fears away, even as the echo of his brother continued to haunt him.

"I know you would," Jack replied with a chuckle. "I swear I'm going into withdrawl, just hiding it well." Or maybe it was withdrawl symptoms of something else entirely. Ianto shook his head and Jack let his hand fall away, resuming it's lightly looped position around Ianto. It was strange to see his lover wrapped in the same coat and yet was comforting at the same time; amusing Jack that Ianto could find safety in the same greatcoat Jack used as his own safety net. Maybe there was something more to the Coat than met the eye.

Jack said nothing about not being wicked, he knew his own demons: things he would keep hidden from Ianto for as long as he was able. "Overwhelmed isn't something to be ashamed of," Jack said softly. "Hell, this isn't a walk in the park for any of us." Just because he couldn't die didn't mean there wasn't things Jack worried and fretted over: like Ianto's mortality and the scary knowledge that he could be separated from his lover, unable to stop any of these deadly experiments.

And still, Jack knew there were things that needed to be said and yet again, he couldn't bring himself to say them.

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madeinwales
2009-07-18 01:35 am UTC (link)

When Jack closed his eyes, Ianto just watched, unwilling to intrude on this drawing in of strength. He knew what it was to pull oneself together again and knew that some things you just had to do on your own. Jack's chuckle, though, easy and warm, helped put Ianto's mind at ease.

"Which type of withdrawl?" he asked. Because Jack wasn't the only one in withdrawl. And still they didn't speak of things needing to be aired out. Ianto looked towards what was left of the barn door, then back into Jack's face, perfectly serious for a moment.

"I may not survive this," he said softly. "It's a hazard of what I do for a living, too, but here it seems worse. I want you to know, Jack, that whatever happens, none of it is your fault." Well, it was on the right track, wasn't it?

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capt_harkness
2009-07-18 01:32 am UTC (link)

In truth, Jack couldn't have chosen a better partner: the man utterly understood him and didn't try to intrude at those times when Jack needed a moment and, likewise, Jack tried to give Ianto his time as well. Yet, here, it seemed like their usual conventions were fast getting thrown out the window.

Jack peeked open one eye, quirking the brow in Ianto's direction. What sort of withdrawl indeed? It was fairly easy to guess what other sort of withdrawl Jack was going through. He said nothing, merely gave Ianto a heated look, a slow smile spreading across his face. Let Ianto take from that what he would.

The next words, however, lanced through Jack's heart like an icy knife. Did he know he was going to face this one day? Yes. But he expected that death to come in Cardiff... some place they knew. Here, it was all too clear how easily Ianto's life could be snuffed out -- and the Insider could move him away and he'd be powerless to save him. "You will," Jack said roughly, that strange bit of emotion entering his voice. "You will survive this. We both will." Er, right. "It's worse here because we don't know what we're up against in the slightest. It would be-- I hired you in the first place."

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madeinwales
2009-07-18 01:35 am UTC (link)

"Jack, and I realize that it's you I'm telling this to, be sensible. I don't want to die. Given my druthers, I'd live a bloody long time, trust me. But the body count is climbing." It was all said in a pained and hushed whisper, as if the words were costing him dearly to say. Ianto leaned in and rest his nose against Jack's face.

"I just .. no matter where or when it happens, it isn't your fault. It never will be. Alright?"

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	capt_harkness 2009-07-18 01:33 am UTC (link)
	If there was anything Jack had gotten good at, it was lying. He nodded, even if there was a healthy distance in his eyes when he finally agreed. "Fine, it won't be my fault." And just in how he answered, they both knew Jack didn't believe a word he'd just said. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	madeinwales 2009-07-18 01:35 am UTC (link)
	They both knew he wasn't telling the truth with that, but still neither one of them said anything about it. Ianto just looked very sad for a moment then leaned in again to find Jack's lips. They were crossing wires again and it was time to do something that didn't involve speaking. (Reply to this) (Parent)