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Jenny Schecter (dont_f_withme) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,

In order to keep up the charade of being Laura for him she would have had to say she was already dead. Sometimes she felt that way. That was why she'd done so many of the drastic things in her past. She'd always been looking for that one person to complete her because she knew part of her was missing. Instinctively felt it in such a deep and sheltered place inside of her that she wasn't sure she could hear anymore of what he was saying. It was too much. Too special and meant for someone else. He should be telling Laura.

"Shhh, I'm not Laura, L. You should be telling her this. Wait for her and tell her. She needs to hear it. I know she does," she said, her voice catching in her throat again. Her heart ached. Ached for lovers who couldn't be together. For him in his pain. She felt responsible somehow even though she knew she wasn't.

Something profound had happened for Jenny. An epiphany of some sort. But why could it not have happened when she was here in this hell hole? When L wasn't floating away from her on morphine toward a daydream of his lover. It would have been so much easier for her to handle what she had learned about herself; what she was feeling. Whatever that was. She couldn't describe it but she knew she desperately didn't want it to end. For the first time in her life she felt like she belonged somewhere. Right there with L. Even if he wasn't feeling it too, she wasn't leaving him.

Tears slid down her cheeks unchecked onto his hand pressed there to her face. She hated the fact that she cried so easily right then. She didn't want to cry because that felt like giving up on him. Like she was mourning him and he wasn't gone. Not yet. Neither was she. She thought of the second needle in her pocket and what her plan had been. And she would have left a note on the writing book that it was to belong to him. Except now all she wanted to do was write more for him. For herself to figure out just what the hell it was that had snapped inside her and let the flood gates of this strange, huge emotion open.

"You're not dying. She's not dying, I promise. I'll do whatever I have to find her Norn water. I'll get Laura what she needs. You can't die, L. I'm serious. If you die I'm coming after you - even if I have to go to hell to do it. I'll yank you back. I'm not kidding." She was adamant, her eyes intent on his face now. There would be no dying today if she could help it.