Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me

Search by :  Username E-mail Region Interest AOL IM ICQ Number Yahoo! ID MSN Username Jabber

Laura Moon (spitandviolets) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,

She pulled back, still holding his hand, barely noticing. "Shadow went away for a while, to prison, and it was just far enough away that I couldn't go see him. I didn't have the money. Ironic, isn't it? People never think about the people, the families, that 'criminals' leave behind. We don't matter; only justice does. I drank. I drank a lot. I was sad, and I was sorry. I drank an entire year under the table until Robbie came to stop me. Robbie and Audrey, they were such good people. They really cared about me. They did everything with me. I don't think they went on a single date without me for three years. How did I repay them? I came between them. I started sleeping with Robbie, and I stopped drinking. He became my addiction. I hadn't had sex in about a year, and it was torture. I needed his skin. I needed him to pretend. There were no feelings behind it. I didn't love him. I don't think I even liked him towards the end. But there was lust. We carried on our affair for two whole years."

"Then Shadow was coming home. Three years into a seven year sentence, and my Puppy was coming home. I was so...happy. I was going to call it off with Robbie. We were done. We were planning Shadow's welcome home party together. To celebrate, we went out on one last dinner together. I drank a lot. I drank, and then I got lusty. I had to have him just one more time before I said goodbye and walked away from him forever. While he was driving me home, three days before Shadow was supposed to come home, I leaned over and put my head in his lap. My shoulder hit the drive shaft, and we careened into the other lane. The last thing I remember clearly was 'I'm going to die' and then blackness. I don't remember pain, or sorrow, or remorse. Just...black. Bang. Over. There are flickers from the emergency room, the autopsy, but I was somewhere else at that point."

"They let Shadow out early so he could come to my funeral. My best friend gave me violets and spit on me. My husband gave me a coin and an apology. He apologized, after all that, and he knew everything. He blamed himself." Laura stopped. Her hand gripped his a little tighter, and she actually looked away from him. "I corrupted and destroyed a good, honest, simple man. Shadow would have been happy if he had never met me. Shadow wouldn't have died hanging on a tree for nine days if he had never met me. I did so much evil to him, yet he apologized, and he forgave me. This," she held up the coin on the chain around her neck, "is his apology. I need no other forgiveness."

"He may have doomed me to walk the world until the end of eternity, but he gave me the chance to protect him. Shadow, my Puppy, gave me the opportunity to help him even after dying. I know he didn't know what he'd done, bringing me back; that part was an accident. But sometimes accidents speak loudly. He couldn't look at me. I know my existence made him sick. I wasn't his Laura. He was completely cold and unsympathetic to me. He wouldn't hold me, wouldn't make me warm. The morning I first came to him, after clawing out of my coffin and up through my grave, he didn't even ask me to stay. And he wouldn't work on our marriage. That's why it's always been so hard for me. I serve no purpose. The man who created me doesn't even want me. I'm inconvenient, and I'm an accident."