InsaneJournal

Andy Gallagher is not the droid you're looking for (

Opening his eyes again and staring back out the windshield now clouded by his own marijuana smoke, Andy shook his head. "You've never gotten stoned, clearly," he said softly. It wasn't an insult and the tone in his voice wasn't condescending. He was matter-of-fact; making a statement. Anyone who had never gotten high couldn't understand that it didn't turn everyone into a bumbling idiot who could do nothing but think of White Castle or munchies. Sure, that happened to some people and once in a while, Andy was one of them; he was more than willing to admit that. But when it was important to focus, Andy still could. Right now, it was important.

After a long pause, he rolled his eyes and closed them again. "Yeah, man. I fuckin' understand you. No matter how I slice it, I'm meant to die. Either I stay here and continue to be tortured until I kick the bucket or I go back and fight until you, Jake, or Ava snuffs me out. Pardon me for not wanting to wax philosophical about it. It is what it is, bro. I'm going to die. I mean, we're all going to die; that's what people do. I'm just...gonna do it a lot sooner than most. That's life. ...or it's mine, anyway," he replied. "I just don't wanna sit here and talk about it. If you're worried about me going dark side, you can stop. I'm too damn lazy and resigned even if I wasn't already dead-set against becoming what Webber was."

Sam's sigh and remark about everyone making the decisions rather than some higher power doing so was given a sigh in return. "So then why are we here? Why do we even exist if it's just to be born, live some shitty life, and then die? If not for someone else's amusement, why bother? Whatever man, think what you want. I've had plenty of experiences where yeah, I made a decision, but only because I didn't have a choice. You think I chose to kill my brother to save yours out of the fuckin' goodness of my heart, man? No offense, but no. I had to choose between letting my brother die and letting yours die. Yours helped save Tracy, mine tried to kill her. No brainer. Doesn't mean I fuckin' liked it and it sure as hell wasn't because I was tryin' to do you guys a favor. Again, no offense. So don't give me that shit that we make decisions. I didn't decide to be here, did you? I didn't decide to be a freak, either."

Shaking his head, Andy sighed again. "Anyway," he said finally. "Whatever, I get contemplative when I'm stoned and I get shitty when I have to think about my own impending goddamn doom. It's nothing personal, bro, and I'm sorry." The last three words took a lot of effort, but even though Andy hated to say them, he did mean them.

(Read comments)

InsaneJournal

Post a comment in response: