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Posts Tagged: 'you%27re+the+worst:+gretchen+cutler'

Dec. 2nd, 2022


[info]unlovable
[info]valloic

[info]unlovable
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]unlovable
[info]valloic
texts to adam vasic:
» Hey.
» What are you doing right now?

[info]secunit
[info]valloic

[info]secunit
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]secunit
[info]valloic
Seasons greetings motherfuckers. It's that time of year again. That magical time when you all party too hard engaging in social obligations and find yourself tottering with your higher judgment totally fucked. Year three. Let's go:
As we near the holiday season, I'll remind you:
  • Do not drink too much.
    • Because I know you will, as (most) of you are human and stupid, and drinking too much is how you demonstrate cheer without having to rely on creativity, when you drink too much and you are worried about getting home...
  • Contact me to get you there safely.
  • I am responsible, discreet, and used to having humans leak mysterious fluids of all kinds on me.
  • I am also not sexually interested in you, unlike Todd from Accounting.
  • I will ensure that you reach home without incident and will annoy you until you drink at least three glasses of water.
  • Unless:
    • You want to talk about your feelings, my feelings, or some other person's feelings. I don't care.
    • You hit on me, flirt with me, or touch me inappropriately. I find human sexual interaction disgusting AF.
    • You insult me or behave rudely. I don't fucking put up with that. This is a free service. Behave like something better than your species.
  • Thank you and stay safe.
    • Unless I don't like you, in which case, die in a snowbank.


Don't fuck yourself up this holiday season or I'll do it for you. And a happy New Year or whatever.

Now. What fuckery does this weird-ass planet have planned for us this holiday?

Nov. 1st, 2022


[info]starsnbars
[info]valloic

[info]starsnbars
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]starsnbars
[info]valloic
Steve Rogers, reporting for duty.

Oct. 24th, 2022


[info]halfexustio
[info]valloic

[info]halfexustio
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]halfexustio
[info]valloic
How has this place not broken the time-space continuum yet? You guys are chaos.

That being said, anything I can do? Anyone need something? Also to head this off: no, I will not buy booze for you while you're underage. Don't come at the master of the craft when he's in the mature stage of his life (not a single word out of you, Kate.)

Oct. 21st, 2022


[info]sinkorswim
[info]valloic

[info]sinkorswim
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]sinkorswim
[info]valloic
What up bitches. God everybody looks so GOOD. Somebody give me a really tall drink with a sexy name. I'll french you for it.

Actually hold that thought. I need to raid my mom's tiny baby wardrobe cause she's been here like five whole minutes.

Oct. 19th, 2022


[info]gfweasley
[info]valloic

[info]gfweasley
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]gfweasley
[info]valloic
12 more days until Halloween! Come get all your spooky tricks over at WWW, where the ever cheerful Gretchen is always ready to help point you in the right direction (which is straight to Serefin, who will take you to your desired product). Specialty fireworks are on sale for 20% off through the rest of the month.

[ FILTERED TO WIZARDING WORLD ]
Can't say I knew this version well, but sorry to see her go. Everyone else still around, yeah?

Oct. 11th, 2022


[info]heartblossom
[info]valloic

[info]heartblossom
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]heartblossom
[info]valloic
I thought I should chime in here to add on that if anyone needs help coping with the latest problems with Vallo, I can help with tea or meditation or Weeds. Or a combination of all three! It's important to be around friends in a safe environment!

Oct. 9th, 2022


[info]spacesoldier
[info]valloic

[info]spacesoldier
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]spacesoldier
[info]valloic
Murder Mansioners, drinks (and food) on me at Al's tonight and all this week. You more than fucking deserve it.

Sep. 30th, 2022


[info]wantedtoberomeo
[info]valloic

[info]wantedtoberomeo
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]wantedtoberomeo
[info]valloic
I've been told multiple times that all of this is very real and I haven't actually gone insane, but color me skeptical still.

In the spirit of not making things worse by sitting in a room by myself all the time- Hi. I'm Emily and I'm new here. I don't really know what else to Any suggestions on how to ease into this place as someone whose experience with magic and the supernatural is limited to one old lady who occasionally gets visions and TV shows.

Sep. 28th, 2022


[info]cowboygenius
[info]valloic

[info]cowboygenius
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]cowboygenius
[info]valloic
Does anyone have one of the large Havahart traps?

Or a trap big enough for a two faced demonic doll with homicidal tendencies. No, stabbing or shooting it will not work with it being full of stuffing.

The Book of the Dead is also missing so just leave it outside the Library door and send me a text. Thanks.

Sep. 23rd, 2022


[info]unlovable
[info]valloic

[info]unlovable
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]unlovable
[info]valloic
Barkers is doing a tequila race while showing the other one. I was a little fuzzy on the details last night but I fully intend on winning it. No clue what winning gets you, but I'm winning.

Don't die to those partaking in the vroom vroom race. Looks dicey as shit and you all are braver souls than most.

Sep. 20th, 2022


[info]twohands
[info]valloic

[info]twohands
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]twohands
[info]valloic
pretty sure i know the answer to this already but i figured it'd take a vote for validation: it's not cheating if you accidentally kissed some AU version of your dumbass boyfriend, right? my vote's no but fuck that's still weird.

Sep. 17th, 2022


[info]gfweasley
[info]valloic

[info]gfweasley
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]gfweasley
[info]valloic
...Hi. Apparently I missed a few things? But I'm back just in time for the chaos, which is starting to become a theme.

I see you have a darkness problem and we have a potential idea in the works here to assist the group that will be working on the Crystal. Witches and wizards of the Wizarding World, we need you.

[ooc; Set immediately after Noctis' post.]

Sep. 12th, 2022


[info]unlovable
[info]valloic

[info]unlovable
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]unlovable
[info]valloic
I am aware nine in the morning is early for me (adulting for the win, motherfuckers) but even my sleep till noon ass knows the sun should be up by nine. Lord knows I've thrown enough shit at the window over the years yelling at it to go away.

Sep. 6th, 2022


[info]alittleedgy
[info]valloic

[info]alittleedgy
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]alittleedgy
[info]valloic
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

🕸 🕸 🕸 🕸 🕸
👻👻👻👻👻
🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
🍫🍬 🍭 🍬🍫
💀💀💀💀💀
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
🕸 🕸 🕸 🕸 🕸

I know with people from a bajillion different worlds there have to be people with great spooky songs I haven't heard, so give me suggestions to add to my Halloween Playlist, which I will be listening to at least twice a day for the next six weeks.


In non-Halloween news, who wants to have a sign-making party for the race? Even though I am obviously Team Scientia, making signs together is fun and I want to see what all you other race fans are doing.

Sep. 1st, 2022


[info]unlovable
[info]valloic

[info]unlovable
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]unlovable
[info]valloic
Oh fuck all the way right off, Vallo. Buy two get one free is only acceptable with shoes and drinks, thanks.

Where's my Thursday Happy Hour options? I got cash burning a hole in the pocket and soberness to throw out the window.

[info]magicianquentin
[info]valloic

[info]magicianquentin
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]magicianquentin
[info]valloic
OK this is not where I was expecting to end up and orientation is a bit of a joke. It's an info dump that ends with someone handing you some money and telling you where you can stay. I guess that's better than leaving you on the street to figure it out yourself.

Now if someone could help me find a rabbit to get a message to my friends so they know I didn't just bail on them that would be great. Thanks.

Oct. 21st, 2021


[info]magicianeliot
[info]valloic

[info]magicianeliot
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]magicianeliot
[info]valloic
Your high king has arrived. Or you can call me your majesty. Or Eliot. I'll answer to them all. Seems fitting I arrived here during chaotic times. Story of my life. Who has the good vodka?

Sep. 27th, 2021


[info]terseness
[info]valloic

[info]terseness
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]terseness
[info]valloic
Hey guys, let's fight.

How many toddlers could Gretchen realistically vanquish in no-weapons combat?

Sep. 22nd, 2021


[info]secunit
[info]valloic

[info]secunit
[info]valloic

[No Subject]


[info]secunit
[info]valloic
I thought it relevant to state that Morgan is a cat now, so if you have any problems with Tag!, bother me directly and if I like you I'll fix them.