vallo

So.


Who's hungry?

UH, HELLO!

I hate to alarm people but I feel like you should also know that the geese are back. Those geese. If you're new since then, you're about to learn.

Also some of them stole my knives. That's the part that might alarm. If anyone can help get them back though that would be gr-- wrong priorities

What's up, assholes. Using these things so you folks in the past are up to speed on where the fuck we're at with all this stuff. I'm not apologizing for my handwriting.

So the info that our time traveling wizard duo was able to pull from 2023 (with the help of you fine nerds back there too, thank you for that) was actually good shit, because as of a bit ago we were able to use it to figure out where the weapon is at that we can use to take down Interitus once you folks in the past destroy the simulacrum. It's in the city, because of fucking course it is, hidden away.

Naturally this means we have to put a group together to extract it. We've got our secret hidey hole way into the city to get in, but we're going to need a mix of Sneaky Shits and Fighty Fucks to do it, so ivolunteerastribute.gif and all that shit below, visitors and our regular crew alike. As always, this isn't a guaranteed safety sort of situation, but we'll need to get a lay of the land ahead of time to at least mitigate. They're a bunch of dicks, though, so no doubt something will come up so know that before you step up.

More details incoming once we have a better idea as to the group we're looking at and once we've got it secure, that's one step closer to getting this asshole fucking gone.

Hi.

For those of you new who haven't heard it a million times already (Rogier, I'm looking at you, can you feel the side eye from here, I sure hope so):

The chocobos have a treat schedule. Please do not fuck with the schedule.

I am aware they are cute, and that they have the please give me treats look on lock down at this point, but I promise you all they will live if you don't give into it. If anything they will be happier, more productive chocobos and not full of food that they love but isn't the best for them. You do not know what it was like before the schedule but trust me when I say it was madness.

If you'd like to get on the rotation to give treats during the designated treats time let me or Prompto know.

That is all.

Hey folks, welcome to the shitty future you're hoping to avoid for yourselves. Thanks for coming.

When you came from, the network is for fun. Here, it's the primary communication medium for a resistance that's scrambling to survive, and it's under constant attack and held together with paperclips and hope. This means:

• Don't try to run a bunch of data across it unless you need to. Keep your comms to text as much as possible.
  
• SECURITY IS PARAMOUNT. You'll notice the passphrase requirements are stricter than on the network you came from. That's because Murderbot got hacked/enthralled and he can bruteforce your oh-so-clever "password1" in about two seconds without even having to know you'd pick a password that dumb in the first place.
  
• Smash your device to pieces before you let it fall into the hands of the enemy.
  

Which of you fuckers has the good moonshine Just want it on the record that I hate this plan. Now who wants an end of the world, we'll probably all be dead in a week tattoo? Don't be a wuss, step up.

The message is a liiiiittle late but HAPPY WOMEN'S MONTH, VALLO! Is it a thing in Vallo? I don't know but my best friend Josh told me that it was a thing on Earth and honestly, it should totally be a thing in Vallo too. Just saying.

Speaking of, what would be the reaction if I was to say that there might be a Women's Day brunch held at Castle Whitespire in celebration for it? Maaaaybe this Saturday so it wouldn't entirely be last minute? Because last minute would be holding it on Wednesday but since tomorrow is the full moon, there is no way in hell I'm going to be in any condition to host anything in the next two days.

Help me out. Yes or no on these boots?

What are some of the worst team building/bonding exercises you've ever had to deal with? Members of the defense team need not respond.

I'd like to request your weirdest Valentine's Day stories, let's see what you all have got.

[ BIG THREE ]

I know neither of you have your significant others here right now, and I'm in whatever weird flux state I am, sooooo pizza and movies tonight?

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS]

Hey uh. It's Ignis's birthday. Be nice to him. Not as nice as us obviously but still. I got us tickets for that musical about bread but they're not until Friday so today will just have to be some old-fashioned spoiling.

Grab some gloves, Prompto. You're helping me clean the kitchen.

I'm going to be there are a bunch of you being complete idiots and not taking care of yourselves right now.

Who needs a meal? I'll make a delivery and roast demons if you got 'em.

I swear to god, I only just get out of the hospital only to find out Vallo is throwing out something else entirely.

Everyone who took care of the house and Lola for me, I appreciate it. I'm pretty sure she barely noticed I was out this entire time.

Remember how I did battle with the Edward Cullen of all Elf on the Shelfs last year? Dunked him in a toilet.

He came back this year and brought friends. After my initial thought of "what in the NC-17 Toy Story is this?", I threw dimes and pennies at him because bitch was working it.

Hello, Vallo! Castle Whitespire's great halls are totally available now for big party rentals and such. I may have also renovated a few rooms for sleeping off anything too. Never realized how much needed to be cleaned up and all but damn, did some places bring back memories. Not all of them that good though

The rentals also will come with some great catering deals because Sophie is the absolute best. I might even offer to do a hefty discount for anyone who wants to book for the winter holidays too!

Just a reminder for those with kids!

The Monster Parade at the Art of Expression will be taking place today from 5PM to 7PMish. Kids will get to enter a costume contest and walk a runway. Photos taken by yours truly! :) Everyone goes home a winner with a custom made superlative, but be sure to hit up the food booths for ghoulish brews and sandwitches before you head home.

Friends and family: Pajama party/movie marathon at our house around 8PM! Adult character onesies highly recommended. Abi and I have spares if you need 'em! We'll be screening the Stab slasher series (apparently it's similar to something called Scream in some of the worlds? Sophie and I found this out months ago!) too, so just avoid the the living room if you plan to bring any little ones with you.

The Galdin Quay restaurant will be opening a little late today, I'm afraid. I've decided to temporarily change the menu in order to annoy my younger self, so should you find your way out there this week to sample the food, I ask that you do not inform him that I am a superior chef.

Or do. It might make for a good challenge.

I don't get paid enough for this.

I'm not getting paid at all for this.

I need someone who isn't Tony Stark to tell me Tony Stark isn't the one who broke space and time. Preferably someone who isn't motivated to cover for him.

I have no idea what's going on here but I know my little niece was with me and now she's not. I'll do whatever you want if you give her back to me. She's practically my little sister and my big sister will kill me if I lost her daughte

Please. I just want Monique back.

For anyone I had promised at the Speed Dating event on more pictures of Lola... ( Here's the girl being an absolute nature loving dork. )

Now, this is about to be her first every Halloween in Vallo ever so I'm open to any kind of dog costumes that won't get absolutely shredded in the first five minutes of putting it on.

Filter: Carol Danvers

I sense you're dying to know how it all went down.