May. 16th, 2022 at 1:10 PM
Tomorrow afternoon, 2pm, Papa's Pride. It's Morgan's birthday! Which we're celebrating. I know he's not super about parties and food, so this is a celebration of friendship more than anything, and I've got a cake that looks like a big coffee cup for the rest of us who eat.
If you get the reference, you can have extra cake!
I was thinking that if we're moving to Brightmoon that you really don't need to move back into the room you think of as a holding cell. There's plenty of room where I was staying. I mean, if you don't mind. I know my things and my routines can be a lot. I know they are a lot. BUT if you wanted? You could??
As we near the holiday season, I'll remind you:It all still applies. Don't fuck yourself up this holiday season or I'll do it for you. And a happy New Year.
- Do not drink too much.
- Because I know you will, as (most) of you are human and stupid, and drinking too much is how you demonstrate cheer without having to rely on creativity, when you drink too much and you are worried about getting home...
- Contact me to get you there safely.
- I am responsible, discreet, and used to having humans leak mysterious fluids of all kinds on me.
- I will ensure that you reach home without incident and will annoy you until you drink at least three glasses of water.
- You want to talk about your feelings, my feelings, or some other person's feelings. I don't care.
- You hit on me, flirt with me, or touch me inappropriately. I find human sexual interaction disgusting AF.
- You insult me or behave rudely. I don't fucking put up with that. This is a free service. Behave like something better than your species.
- Only the hockey humans may call me Murderbro. This is law.
- Thank you and stay safe.
- Unless I don't like you, in which case, die in a snowbank.