vallo

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[Defense]

Patrol report - I've got a number of what I'd call earth elementals here near the edge of the forest. I've managed to communicate with them enough to encourage them not to play 'toss' with the fully grown bear they were passing around and use a boulder instead. They seem harmless, if a little lacking in common sense.

I don't think it's anything to be too heavily worried about but heads up if there are still any elemental concerns.

Message to Ronan and Adam

Hello, the both of you. First let me extend my apologies for not having come by earlier; I've been slow in recovering from the battle last week. I should be able to resume my duties in the next few days but my appearance has been please don't be surprised at my I have lost


My horse seems to have followed me here. I found her in the forest this morning. I was wondering if it would be too much trouble to ask if she could be boarded at the Barns with you.

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Caught a fish today claiming to be the Salmon of Knowledge. I quickly noticed problems with this assertion:

- If a fish held all worldly knowledge, you'd think it would know how to avoid obvious bait.
- It wasn't even a salmon.

I called the fish a liar, and the fish insisted "it was just a prank, bro" and then suggested that essential oils would cure my arthritis. I suggested that the Bass of Bullshit would be delicious simmered in a tomato sauce.

I decided to throw it back instead, just in case the bullshit is catching. So, keep an eye out for that one if you're fishing off New Asgard.

At home, the longest day of the year would be marked by Summerfest. The puppeteers would put on elaborate plays, and the minstrels would play long after the sun went down. Bonfires would be built at sundown, and young men and some young women, many of whom had had more drink than sense, would try to jump over them in the believe that Eda would bless the harvest the higher they jumped. There'd be feasting, both in Buckkeep Town and up at the castle, and the drink would run free.

As a lad I'd always been more keen on Springfest and Winterfest, but it's been some time since the last time I celebrated a Summerfest. The traditions here are different, but I occasionally would see echoes of home, not least because there was a celebration at all.

I'm under the impression that the longest day of the year is celebrated across worlds, which makes me wonder what the celebrations are like in other universes.

I know these hands are terrible. Definitely gross. Probably annoying.

But Deathripper is just so violently happy? It's hard not to be happy for him? Living his best helhound life, sometimes with a sibling team up. He's the best boy.

Oi! Did someone loose a goat? I found this gal chomping on some bushes in the forest this morning:

[Photo of a goat seemingly chasing the photographer wanting to head butt him]

She looks like she really needs to be milked, but she won't let me near her. Actually, she keeps trying to head butt me!

[another photo of the goat chasing the photographer]

Funny thing, though, she kind of smells like mead? Does goat's milk taste like mead? Is that a thing I've been missing this entire time?

[third photo of the goat - super close up of her face]

Aside from wanting to headbutt me, she seems nice. Does she belong to anyone? I don't want to leave her out here by herself.

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Darlings, on a very spontaneous note, and not at all because I walked in on Vax doing this very thing, please, for the love of the gods, do not use a knife as a tracing line for eyeliner. I understand that the result may be effective, but at what cost?

Given that Prom that will be raising funds for my beloved's youth center is around the corner (which, darlings, you should all be attending!!) try these tips instead.

For a winged look, create the flick at the outer corner first and then connect to the line along the lash line--and to create a balanced, even look, start small with the wing and use a card or tape to measure the angle. You can always build out the wings, but it's difficult to reign it back in. You'll also want to keep your head titled back, and steady your arm or elbow on a flat surface. In a pinch you can use your little finger on your cheek. Don't worry about getting one flawless line in one application! Draw a few dashes or dots along the lash line, and then connect those. Those smaller strokes will give you much more control and comfort with your eye shape.

If you've made a mistake, which certainly happens, take a breath and let the eyeliner dry before attempting to clean it. I, personally, line my lower lid as well but that's because I have been accused of being dramatic and doing the most, and I don't shun these labels.

Above all, if eyeliner doesn't jingle your jangles, don't bother! If you want to experiment with colored liner, do! If you like how something looks on you, that's what you should be sporting, regardless of what anyone says is the 'right' color for you or the 'right' shape. What looks best on you is what you feel the best in, and that's true of makeup and clothing. That confidence and joy will outshine any accessory--I say, as someone who wears enough jewelry to accidentally blind low flying birds.

I have made dozens of attempts at making a purple ink that didn't dry to brown, and it was something that I had never succeeded at. And then I come here, and discover inks in every colour imaginable, from the deepest blues to the most brilliant greens, and every shade of purple I could have imagined, all of which dry true.

I'd hoped to make more attempts once I had better acquainted myself with the flora of Vallo's forests, and to make some other inks to sell at market, but I begin to wonder if there's any point to it anymore. Many of these seem a better quality than I could make myself, though the inks I'd made back home were considered a good quality. Given how colourful the clothes here are, I suppose I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so surprised. I suppose with all the new technologies, they've found a way to make ink in ways better than just using gum, water, and gall.

June 4th was would have been my one-year wedding anniversary. I will start by saying this: I'm not devastated, and I have obviously not turned half of Vallo into a sitcom starring myself. I am fine. Truly. For those who do not know me, Vallo took away my husband. [...] And then my boyfriend, technically, but he was the boyfriend I had back home that was murdered by Thanos. That is slightly confusing

Anyway, this post is not about grief and I am not alone on this boat. This is more about... hope, I suppose? A lot of us know well how chaotic Vallo's nature is, bringing in the people you love only to take them away later. Or they bring you someone who is not from your world but you bond with them regardless. You learn to love them. Then there is the opportunity to take the plunge into something deeper, and you should. It does not matter what Vallo can do and don't hesitate because of Vallo.

If you want to, then do it. Make the memories. Date that person, marry them, try to make a family if that is what you want. The what if thoughts might always do the worst damage to you than this place could.

That is my one post for the year. Goodbye.



Oh! Iced tea weather. We have a lot of refreshing, fruity blends at my shop. [INSERT ADDRESS HERE hello] Cold tarts as well. We have a wall of books for people to browse there is erotica if you know where to look, and anything on the menu is available for delivery. Tommy will get them to you in less than five seconds. (Is less than five seconds insulting my son's speed? I'm sorry.)

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Message to Daud

Hello Daud. I wanted to thank you again for your assistance the other day. I think it will take a good deal of adjusting to get used to the magic in this world. I hope you didn't have too many flowers to clean up.

If you would care to join me sometime in the future I would happily repay the favour of plying you with strong spirits.

- Tom

( Roach was pretending not to be frightened. )

These new teenagers we have are terrible at crime. I had another attempted pickpocketing in New Asgard this morning, and it was the sloppiest damned lift I've seen in years. What are the thiefmakers teaching them these days? Go home, practice on the dummy with the bells until you can do it without a jingle and try again.

I suppose that it's high time I've introduced myself on this, though I'm not so sure that now's the best time. I understand that events like... this happen often here though, so perhaps it is.

I'm Tom Badgerlock. I arrived here about a week and a half ago, and have spent the last week acquainting myself with... all of this. It's all very different than where I'm from, but I think I've been getting the lay of the land.

I also suspect the money I was given on my arrival won't last too terribly long, so if anyone has any work, I would be grateful for it. I can do scribe work, though I don't suppose I'll be able to try my hand at creating inks for it without better acquainting myself with the local flora. I've done work in the past as a farmhand, and can do manual labour. Most recently I was employed as the valet and bodyguard of a particular lord, and then was recruited into the Queen's guard. I'm most proficient with an axe, though I can use a sword if necessary.

Alright I've wandered about and remembered a bit more. I have missed the food. And the lack of horse shit on the street. And I suppose all the layabouts living on my train.

Or at least I would've missed those things if I remembered this place yesterday. Anyway, let's not talk about the eye patch, alright? I've felt sorry for myself enough for one day. Come by the club for a drink on me. Or a punch if that's more your style. I doubt I'll be here long enough for the matches to roll around.

i require MEAD. however much a pouch full of gold coin or a favor from a son of odin will get me. i have none of your fancy paper bills or cards of credit so do not ask for any.