vallo

someone point me to the nearst ocean of whiskey

Anyone seen or heard of anything new out in the forest lately? Something got to my hunt before I could and left one hell of a mess.

the customer is not always right and whoever started saying that should be brought back to life and then slapped the end

I don't know why Vallo keeps forcing me to make these ridiculous posts, but it looks like something from the Blackpointers' past has cropped up here - the puppet spell.

You'll notice some of you have turned into a puppet. Back in the first reality I was kidnapped to, it was a spell created by a local witch of theirs to curb people from using their powers to kill everyone once they came through the portal that brought us there. The vast majority of their population were regular humans and couldn't handle superpowered people, otherwise.

Any time someone wished to harm someone physically, they'd turn into a puppet until they calmed down. It prevented some bloodshed and provided a lot of laughs cause it was hilarious, when it wasn't happening to you. It let us still spar with each other and let us defend ourselves if something was attacking us because it was always about the intent, but yeah. Guess the whole point of this post is to say if you don't want to spend your time as a puppet or toy (cause people turned into Barbies too), try not to get pissed off to the point of punching? You should be able to defend yourselves and spar though, so Defense teams, you should all be good. And the locals always seemed to ignore us when we were like this? So you should also be good for not being picked up by a random kid and taken home to be added to their collection.

I also don't know if Vallo put its own spin on this, so the rules for this bout of insanity might be different from what I know. Take all of this ridiculousness with a grain of salt and be wary of everything. Paranoia is your friend.

Also, Tina, Thalia, and I are hosting a luau over at Tina's place this Wednesday just cause that's how we always solved our problems back in Blackpoint. Show up in the afternoon, BYOB, casual, these things usually go late. [Address]

EDIT: Looks like getting very, very angry is triggering it too. So it's a new ball game, sorry guys.

Intel: I observed a really fucking weird phenomenon: a human turned into a puppet after nearly being hit by another human on a bicycle. Going to guess this is magic bullshit, and therefore doesn't fall under my security jurisdiction, but I figured I'd write about it so you're aware the next time you experience a surplus of emotions and find yourself made of felt.

You guys need more meditation. I hear it helps.

I refuse to accept this! How dare you add this insult to my already rough morning? Whoever did this, I will find you. I WILL FIND YOU.


Am I flammable?

If you think you hear the bleating of goats, but don't see any, don't worry, it's just Vallo being Vallo and not you slowly losing your mind. Some of our goats got out of their enclosure and are invisible. They're also intangible, so you don't have to worry about running into them. We just wanted to warn you all of the possible phantom bleats that might be coming your way for who knows how long.

Friends and family, you're going to be recruited to round them up when this is over. Thanks in advance.

Also, if anyone wants to come hang out with the kids because they haven't disappeared, but love interaction and pets, you're welcome by anytime.

I suppose, if one wants to be exact and technical about it, today is my 100th birthday. Although I skipped the majority of the in-between years, haven't I?

If anyone would care to celebrate with a toast to the century since I was born, I'd love to do so. I'll be at Lux this evening after 7.

Just plugging Wicked, because it's amazing and everyone should come see it on opening night. Or the next day. Or the day after that. Or whenever, really, until it runs out.

Also I sound like I'm pregnant but - hot dog in a fried pickle with peanut butter. Who wants to brave this new thing with me?

( private message - elain )

It's Gladio's birthday so we're taking him camping for the weekend. If you could give us two days before anything violently stupid happens, that would be great? Thanks.

[FILTERED TO GLADIO & IGNIS]

I got all the gear together and Ignis has the food covered. But if you want to check what I packed, I don't blame you. I'm leaving Bass with Wei Wuxian but I packed stuff for Henruit? He's practically you in dog form so I figured we were taking him.

Anyone know the going rate around here for hiring help keeping up a farm? No animals on it. Mostly different crops that need to be kept up with. And while I can shuck corn that's about all I remember to do with it.

Alright, which one of you got into my wings?

I have been given $1,000 from Vallo. Give me your best recommendations to use it all in one night that is not drinking.

[ FILTERED TO DARCY LEWIS ]
What would you like to do tomorrow?

[ EDIT: FILTERED TO FRIENDS OF DARCY LEWIS ]
Darcy's birthday is tomorrow. I would like to treat her to a spa weekend at Galdin Quay with her friends to celebrate. If you could let me know if you can attend as soon as possible, I will make arrangements. Thank you.

April Fools' Day will be here before you know it. Are you ready? Are you prepared for retaliation? Let Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes help you from being caught with your pants down!

One free Muggle magic trick with every purchase of over $20, today and tomorrow.

If you pull off any epic pranks tomorrow and have proof of it, submit it to WWW. The funniest prank will win one item out of our Explosive Enterprises line, winner's choice. Results will be announced sometime next week.

Whoever did that introduction video, you should do every introduction video ever. Didn't fall asleep during and that explosion was a thing of beauty. Well done.

Any telepaths around?

[ FILTERED TO NYX BARNES-ULRIC ]
I know you didn't get a lot of sleep and I really don't mean to pile on with my bullshit. But HYDRA's chair is here. I'm going down to the DOA to go and destroy it. So I gotta take a raincheck on lunch?

Love you.

[ FILTERED TO TINA COHEN-CHANG ]
I'm having a weird week already, but I have to ask you something and it might not be a comfortable topic. Can we meet up soon? Breakfast?

[TEXT TO BUCKY]

» Buck. Somehow, I don't know how, Hydra's chair has shown up. You need to get up here. DOA, STAR Labs.

Now that my hangover has finally subsid I spent a great deal of time learning how to cook again when I went blind, and then adjusted again as our world went through some trying times, and now I find myself in an unfamiliar world. I've been doing research and a little shopping to procure ingredients I'm unfamiliar with so that I might experiment in the kitchen.

Would anyone here be interested in being a taste-tester? I could use a few people with varying tastes and preferences to try out a few dishes and provide honest feedback.

Eight total, four for Wednesday, two for lunch, two for dinner, and four for Thursday at the same times. If you have dietary restrictions, please feel free to include them in your interest. Dinner will include the option of a paired wine, if you're one to drink.

[NOCTIS, GLADIO]

I'm not entirely sure what I sh I Are Prompto had pictures on my phone, of me. I'm not entirely sure why, but he assured me they were "quality". Would either of you be willing to approve of them before I post blindly?

[OOC: THESE pictures linked!]

WHO: Nyx Ulric and Bucky Barnes
WHERE: Vallo Forest: Their Home
WHEN: March 28th, 2021 - Late Night/Early Morning
WHAT: Bucky has a nightmare of a memory from one of his lives and remembers a failsafe he came up with. Nyx vows to find another way.
WARNINGS: Talk of death, torture, the usual.

( 'Whatever happens, however lost you might get if that part of you takes control...I will find you.' )

You really know how to welcome a girl, Vallo.

Waking up in a hospital bed on my third day here might be a record even for me.