vallo

[FILTERED TO YASHA NYDOORIN]

Hey so uh, you wanna go hunt all the bugs you can eat?


You can't see me but I'm waggling my eyebrows and showing some leg. I made friends with this forest guy and he's loaning us a cozy little treehouse for the night. The wards are holding up and there's a stove for all your bug-cooking needs. (And by 'made friends', I mean I saved him from getting shoved off a cliff by a big ugly bug. Don't ask me to spell his name, it's really long and involves a lot of gargling sounds. We'll just call him Bob.)

[FILTERED TO XHORHAUS]

Maybe, possibly, disappearing for the day. Don't do anything stupid. Or have too much fun!

If you would like a brief respite from whatever is going on outside, might I suggest listening to a very specific podcast?

In other words, I just uploaded a new one where I talk about basic theories of time manipulation and how it relates to a scientific study of spacetime, a recipe for candied carrot soup, and the tale of how an experiment gone awry is why I keep my hair short. All very riveting stuff -- or, at the very least, a break for the ears if the volume of your device is up high enough.

And that is officially enough marketing of myself for today.

XHORHAUS, MINUS CALEB

I am thinking of utilizing mine and Caleb's time off from the school for the summer in actually taking time off. So much has happened the last handful of weeks and I think he needs I haven't yet talked to him and confirmed details yet, but I wanted to make sure that the two of us being away for a few days, during the week so as to not impede anything with the camp on Sundays, wouldn't cause any true disruption at the house, like with Kiri and such. I think that this would be a good idea for Caleb, but I also don't want to cause any major issues, either.

CALEB

I have a proposal for you.

Just throwing out a reminder to everyone that the Arcane Trickster Summer Camp is officially starting this coming Sunday and will be continuing every Sunday through the month. As Caleb mentioned a few weeks back, this is for ages 6-16, with both Outlanders and natives alike able to participate and we will be teaching kids the basic skills connected to being a wizard and a rogue. No magical experience necessary!

We have a spot rented out in the forest that's not too far off from civilization that is well warded and safe. Lunch is provided, as well as water throughout the day, and we have options for different dietary needs or allergies. All the kids need to bring is themselves and some comfy clothes and shoes.

If you have a child that wants to participate, but you haven't signed them up yet, there is still time. Just email [email address] and forms will be sent to get it squared away.

It will be a fun time!

SHAUN & VEX

Unrelated, but I've been thinking -- shocking, I know. Shaun, I know we talked about it a few months back and I agreed it was a good idea to wait it out, but I think that I am going to move from a team to reserves for defense. I'm getting more involved with work and then putting this project together with Caleb, I just think I'm ready to focus on this new.

And, I mean, being on reserves means I'll get pulled in when the bad shit happens anyway, so it's not like I won't be out doing life risking stunts now and then, right?

Anyway, I don't know. What do you both think? It feels right, but I'm willing to entertain being wrong.

Never would I have imagined, even a year ago when I met her the first time, spending an extended amount of time washing glitter, frosting, and glitter frosting out of the feathers of a kenku girl so I could properly prestidigitation the rest out, but here we are. (This is not a complaint, by the by. It is about as far from a complaint as possible.)

Thank you to everyone that made it out today for Kiri's birthday and helping make it special for her. I have a feeling that she is going to by talking about it for weeks to come.

On account of me not trusting any of you to do it right, I'm throwing myself a birthday party to celebrate the last of my 20s. Invite attached, everyone is welcomed, but it's not going to be very kid friendly. I know some of you like to get your punchy on, so come after you're done beating the shit out of each other at Fight Club, since I'm starting it late. Yes, it's masquerade theme. Get creative, go see Gilmore for sexy outfit needs.

( invite sent to everyone )

Excuse me. I was told there were bagels. Where?

I've woken up with new memories before, but at least those didn't contain a lot of fleshy horrors and nightmare material. I shouldn't have eaten so much pasta last night. Still, I feel oddly more relaxed than I have in a long time. Closure is a wonderful thing. You ever have those days where you wake up and find out that things you've been anxious about are suddenly resolved and behind you? It's a rather thrilling experience. Flesh horrors aside.

[Exandrians]

Ah, did anyone else wake up with a .. download, I suppose the word is now?

Dear Caleb & Baz (and valued customers),

Please know that, when I randomly wished my addition to the mural (that I've been adding to one of the walls at Chastity's Nook) looked more realistic, I meant the beach I was painting, not the cartoon dick I'd painted in the sand. It may or may not be fixed tomorrow. 🤷

Hi Vallo. I would like to preface this by saying I am very
probably
drunk right now and probably am only making kind of sense because of autocorrect

But hello. Hi. I just want to say that even though this place is a pain in the ass sometimes and has angry birds and dinosaurs that turned me into a pile of raven feathers and took too many of my favorite people, I'm still pretty sure it's great because it's got stuff like pride and Shaun Gilmore (go buy stuff at his and Dorian's shop but not the cloaks because I probably want them) and hot pockets and also all you good people I've met because of here and also the people I don't know, because I bet you're great too maybe

But also, I am covered in rainbows and that's really fucking great you know?

Apparently this wish phenomenon has officially hit the Xhorhaus (or at least just me), because I off-handedly expressed that I would like it if Mochi were a bit more fur and bone and, well: ( Cut for image! )

I am certainly not complaining by any stretch of the imagination as he is very soft and cuddly, but apparently I'm going to need to do an emergency run to the nearest pet store to get some supplies. Luckily the cats and the rest of the menagerie had already made him learn how to behave, even when he was a bit incorporeal, so there shouldn't be too much change to the established hierarchy.

CALEB

I know that I am not a terrible lot of help when it comes to recent events, but I did go to the library yesterday and came home with an armful, should you need a distraction and would like to peruse for something new.

10% off sale at WWW for anyone that's been hit with the latest occurrence of the strange and unusual, courtesy of Vallo.

Also, sorry to anyone that was around for that fight that happened in the store. Not an every day occurrence, promise.

[ FILTERED TO SETH BULLOCK; VIEWABLE TO FRED WEASLEY ]
Hey mate? Just checking in with you after that complete knockdown brawl you had earlier today. You okay?

As I have no desire to be cataloged like a laboratory specimen and there is only so much conjuration I can do with limited components, I appear to be in need of gainful employment.

My skills include discretion, dedication, and dead air. I am able to start immediately.

- Eadwulf Grieve

Well, Mondays were made for wine

The fickle nature of this place is one I will never quite grow used to.

GENYA

I know that we do not know one another well, but I am sorry. If there is anything that I can do, please let me know.

VERIN

Can we talk?

Hey, guys? They said you're on here so I figured I'd try it because I sent Veth a message and she didn't respond. Did anyone lose one of those Luxon beacons? I found it when I was getting a free bagel and it seemed weird that it was just sitting out.

You should all really try the chipotle roasted cricket spread, it was really good.

Ah I'm I feel a bit ridiculous asking this, but nevertheless: has anyone by any chance seen an object that looks like this: ( Cut for image! )

It is called a Luxon beacon, is about the size of a cannon ball, and has a soft glow to it. Right now this is still only theory, but I believe it could be related to everything happening with people experiencing odd gravity and time related sensations. The magic that these beacons are centered around focus on those fields and while I've never seen a beacon behave in such a widespread way, I think we all know that Vallo can cause some unpredictability.

So, uh If you happen across an object like this, please let me (Essek Thelyss, hello) know.

XHORHAUS

I don't know for certain if this is actually the case, but it just seems too coincidental not to explore as a possibility and the more eyes looking, the quicker it can be found and locked away so things can go back to normal.

Okay I think I've got this thing figured

[Two minutes later.]

Okay seriously. I think I've got this thing figured out. Note to self: next time you end up dumped in a different plane ALONE and the weirdos with all the Aeorian crap say they can teach you how to use the doodad they just gave you, don't be a stubborn dick and say you don't need any help.


Mighty Nein, if you're getting this, what the fuck. Warn a girl next time. I would've packed more ball bearings. And, you know, Yasha.

[ooc: very likely to be spoilers for the last few episodes of Campaign 2 in comments.]