vallo

HELLO THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHATEVER IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW

BLOODY FUCKING MARY WITH HER BLOODY FUCKING CURSE IS UPON US.

ONCE NANDOR RELENTLESS IN HIS STUPIDITY OPENED THE ELECTRONIC MAIL AND RELEASED HER AND NOW SHE HAS RETURNED

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HILLARY WHO DID NOT FORWARD THE ELETRONIC LETTER AND THEN BLOODY MARY CAME TO HER IN HER PARTY OF SLUMBER AND MURDERED HER IN HER SLEEPING BAG WITH HER EYES TORN OUT AND A MESSAGE ON THE MIRROR THAT SAID 'ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS FORWARD THIS TO TEN PEOPLE'

CURSES ARE NOT TO BE TRIFFLED WITH EVEN FOR ME THE QUEEN OF VALLO VAMPIRES.

[Henry]

Blood in the sink's easy. Just run the tap and use some dish soap, problem solved.

Is that fucking cat back?

[There may be some discussion of animal cruelty in the comments]

A new weapon showed up in my apartment today. It's called the Pick Axe of Despair. Yeah, I know, it's Edgelord for days, but I didn't name it and I don't want to know what happens if I don't call it by whatever is etched into the handle.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I am absolute shit using this weapon and would like to learn how to wield it so I don't look like a flailing sideways windmill.

Good morning, Vallo.

This coming Saturday, the 23rd, is the 18th birthday of one Stiles Stilinski. I've booked a room on the third floor of Spire by Fire Inn for a private celebration, complete with catered food and all their drinks, starting at 8PM. Everyone's invited, you obviously don't have to stay the entire time, maybe drop by for a bit and then leave. There will be music and dancing too!

Filter: Against Stiles

And now I need help figuring out a gift for someone who has been your friend for a bit before turning into your boyfriend for the first time. Kind of hard to get him the "perfect" gift, because I'm sure that would be his dad and Scott McCall coming through to this world, and I can't exactly make that happen.

I know that flood was hella doozy and all and some cleaning is still going BUT... I am still down for doing an end of the summer group BBQ and bonfire night if anyone is up for it.

Greetings from one human being who has been staying indoors this entire time that she might just be going stir-crazy but is not actually about to leave because I'm sure shit is going down right now, and therefore is updating with something totally mundane and acting like it was an adventure.

The last time I went the coffee shop before it started raining, someone had ordered a vanilla soy latte, and sat nearby and I was like "oh they're kind of cute" and I ruined it by telling them that it's like they're having a three bean soup. I got this look and they left.

It's not weird. Technically, I'm right, right?

I hope wherever that good-looking human (or fae for all I know, I don't know) is safe and dry during this shitstorm.

[Texts to Revy and Leon]
>>A bunch of us got ambushed by those elemental things
>>Where are you?
>>Are you both ok??

[Texts to Lydia and Stiles]
>>Are you in the city still or have you gotten the hell out?

[After some hesitation, a text to Nadja]
>>Are you and Laszlo alright?

[Group text to friends of Leon and Revy, plus a few wrong numbers]
Sent at about 3am tonight, after Fight Club


» ITS MY BIRYHDAYY!!! but I gueas it's not my b.irthday anymore. Whatever.
» I'm ginna be forty next yeae holy shit.
» ANYQAY!!! Look what I gor for my birthdsy!! Can'y believe I bever go.t one pf these before, it loiks so good.

» [Insert selfie of Revy and Leon here. Both are visibly drunk, arms around each other's waist, flexing their other arm.

On his left inner bicep, Leon has Revy's gun tattooed, pointed toward his heart, with REVY LEE engraved on the barrel.

Positioned in the same place on her right, Revy had Leon's gun tattooed, with LEON ORCAT engraved on the barrel.

Both tattoos have shaky, sometimes blown out lines. The Jolly Roger on Leon's tattoo is blown out.

There are multiple selfies, some more blurry than others.]

HENRY TOWNSHEND & ADORA.

leon's turning into an ancient artifact this weekend and i need help getting crap. we're still doing fight club so i'm thinking we can shove his face in a cake there after he inevitably loses.

Dear friends and family of one Henry Townshend: Please someone go check in on him, in case he's accidentally bumped his head or become cursed by a malevolent spirit or something, because he is being particularly vicious and I know that's not him.

Text from DoppelHenry to Lydia

>>You owe me a new window, dammit
>>There's still pieces of glass in the fucking carpet!

I'm stuck babysitting eight children because someone who looks like me, but is not me, said they would. Any advice on how not not stab eight children for being annoying? Or, even better - does someone wants to come watch eight annoying children for me so I can go stab this impersonator?

[Private message to Nadja]

Nadja:

I received a set of doll parts for a life-sized doll from my other life. I put them together and cleaned them up a bit. I was wondering if you'd like to have it?

It is completely ghost free, I promise and has kind of a morbid story attached to it, if you're interested?

-- Henry Townshend

It's that time of year again, where I sit in my chair here and reflect on one of the holidays that have had the most impact on my life. Back home, of course. If you have a moment, I'll tell you more about it.

Where I'm from, the 4th of July is a day of remembrance, where we reflect on the sacrifices made by our forefathers and the brave men and women who fought valiantly to secure our freedom. It is a day of pride, as we honor the resilience of our nation and the spirit of unity that unites us as Americans.

As Captain America, I have had the honor of witnessing the strength and resilience of the American people. We come from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs, but on this day, we come together to celebrate as one nation. The 4th of July is a powerful reminder of the unity we can achieve when we set aside our differences and work together for the greater good.

While this day holds immense significance for the United States, its essence transcends borders. The spirit of independence, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is universal and resonates with all beings, no matter where they come from. It is a spirit that unites us as sentient beings, no matter our origins or the stars from which we hail.

I extend an invitation to join in the celebration of the 4th of July. Today, we stand as a testament to the power of unity, hope, and the unbreakable human spirit. Let this day be a reminder that no matter how far apart our worlds may be, we share a common desire for freedom and peace.

Sam will remind you that it's also my birthday and I believe Sam and Kate’s event is open for anyone interested in joining.

Mass email sent to everyone who gave Henry their contact info for Prom Photos:
Good Morning:

To everyone who was at Prom last Saturday, I'm almost done with the photos and should have them ready to send to people later today and tomorrow. I'm sorry it's taken me a little longer than I would have liked, but there was an issue at my apartment earlier this week with one of those damn hands and a window.

Thank you very much for your patience.

-Henry Townshend


Private Message to Rocket Racoon

Good Morning Rocket, I got a lot of pictures of Groot with a lot of people during Prom last Saturday. I wondered if he might like to have them in a photo book, or something?

I'm sitting here trying to go through the photos from the Prom last Saturday, but it's hard to work with THIS thing tapping on my window:

[Photo of a small grey disembodied hand with too many fingers outside Henry's windowsill tapping on the glass]

I'm on the 6th floor. How the hell did it even get up here?

More importantly, how do I get rid of it before it breaks my window and comes in to strangle me?!

( Read more... )

I do not know really what is happening with all of the plants and such but I do know that Laszlo is an incredible topiary artist. This is a man who knows his way around a good bush, what a good bush looks like, and how to manipulate it to do things you would never think would be possible. If anyone needs a bush trimmed or shaped or worked on, Laszlo has only the firmest of appreciation for bushes.

Also VERY IMPORTANT and more important than whatever is happening with the plants is that we have a new dolly!!!! Nadja doll is THRILLED to have a friend but completely coincidentally now our house is very haunted. VERY haunted. Laszlo is complaining about them very much and we VERY OBVIOUSLY do not deal with the G-individual (even thinking it makes blood pour from my eyes) so someone UNRELATED to that come and get rid of these ghosts for us.

OH YES AND ALSO MORE IMPORTANT we are in need of documentary crew members ONCE AGAIN to follow us around with the cameras and the fuzzy...stick and ask questions and record our day to day lives that are VERY interesting apply now.

As if being a teenager again wasn't bad enough.

Where the fuck did all these crop tops come from? Did teenage me buy them??? Why do they all looks so fam

bro who can i pay to buy me cigarettes, NO one wants to sell them to me?? i have someone's wallet cash!!!