vallo

pretty sure i know the answer to this already but i figured it'd take a vote for validation: it's not cheating if you accidentally kissed some AU version of your dumbass boyfriend, right? my vote's no but fuck that's still weird.

...Hi. Apparently I missed a few things? But I'm back just in time for the chaos, which is starting to become a theme.

I see you have a darkness problem and we have a potential idea in the works here to assist the group that will be working on the Crystal. Witches and wizards of the Wizarding World, we need you.

[ooc; Set immediately after Noctis' post.]

I am aware nine in the morning is early for me (adulting for the win, motherfuckers) but even my sleep till noon ass knows the sun should be up by nine. Lord knows I've thrown enough shit at the window over the years yelling at it to go away.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

🕸 🕸 🕸 🕸 🕸
👻👻👻👻👻
🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
🍫🍬 🍭 🍬🍫
💀💀💀💀💀
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
🕸 🕸 🕸 🕸 🕸

I know with people from a bajillion different worlds there have to be people with great spooky songs I haven't heard, so give me suggestions to add to my Halloween Playlist, which I will be listening to at least twice a day for the next six weeks.


In non-Halloween news, who wants to have a sign-making party for the race? Even though I am obviously Team Scientia, making signs together is fun and I want to see what all you other race fans are doing.

Oh fuck all the way right off, Vallo. Buy two get one free is only acceptable with shoes and drinks, thanks.

Where's my Thursday Happy Hour options? I got cash burning a hole in the pocket and soberness to throw out the window.

OK this is not where I was expecting to end up and orientation is a bit of a joke. It's an info dump that ends with someone handing you some money and telling you where you can stay. I guess that's better than leaving you on the street to figure it out yourself.

Now if someone could help me find a rabbit to get a message to my friends so they know I didn't just bail on them that would be great. Thanks.

Your high king has arrived. Or you can call me your majesty. Or Eliot. I'll answer to them all. Seems fitting I arrived here during chaotic times. Story of my life. Who has the good vodka?

Hey guys, let's fight.

How many toddlers could Gretchen realistically vanquish in no-weapons combat?

I thought it relevant to state that Morgan is a cat now, so if you have any problems with Tag!, bother me directly and if I like you I'll fix them.

Never have I felt more awkward over a virtual post. Take a shot.

Hello all. My name is Shi Meiying. Please call me Mei. I'm a representative of a group you've probably never heard of - the Enki Coven. We're a coven that deals mostly in technomagic; the integration of magic and technology. We're fairly small in comparison to some of the other covens out there.

You're more likely to have heard of our business venture - Mage Net. We deal with cybersecurity, app development, green initiatives, and community outreach. It was through them that we came across Tag! and its very amusing dick pic recognition software. We invested in it and, with that, have been pushing our Elders to pull the sticks out of their asses and let us come play with you all.

Late afternoon today, we invite you to gather with us at Sanya Beach for the creation and release of paper lanterns in honor of the mid-autumn. There will be supplies available for anyone interested, to design lanterns with any messages or designs you see fit. Messages can include hopes for this coming year, prayers, questions to the ancestors, dick pics - honestly, go wild. We'll release them after sunset.

I hope I get the chance to meet some of you this evening there.

Posted in the early hours of this morning.

[ FILTERED TO WWW EMPLOYEES MINUS SEREFIN PLUS JIANG CHENG ]
WWW is closed until further notice. You will all get paid for hours you were scheduled for and we'll let you know when we're going to reopen. Sorry for the short notice, we had an accident there last night and we have to set things right before letting people back in.

[ FILTERED TO FRED WEASLEY ]
We got in late last night and I didn't want to wake you up for all of this then, but where are you right now?

Don't go to the shop, Serefin tried to kill Jiang Cheng and me there last night by flooding the place with Jiang Cheng's water totem. We have no idea what's going on with him, but Jiang Cheng's working with his people to track him down and get answers.

I've lounged by the pool at Morningside. I've watched the torrential downpour waterlog literally everyone who ventured into the lobby. I've visited the adorable little sushi restaurant in downtown Vallo. And I made it through Monday. Someone, please tell me that things get more exciting than bad weather and interrupted vacations.

At the risk of sounding like I'm at an awkward networking event, hello. Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn. You can avoid hurting my delicate feelings by not admitting you've never heard of me or Brooklyn.

Okay so I got two months left on this cast and finally ran out of this monopoly money that I was given.

Who wants to hire a broken bartender? I'm telling you now that I'm absolutely not going to move around easily for the next few weeks, but my upper body strength is out of this world and I'm great with the books and inventory.

Also, my bartending comes with life advice that you should, frankly, never take and I'm not that great to look at so you never have to worry about me flirting successfully with the customers.

I'm a catch, y'all.

Oh dip! I was at the fish market for the weird squid flavors and the old guy that sells fake gator but tries to sell it as real gator. We were gonna show him what we thought about that, but then I got distracted by this place call Crahven fish and next to it was Crahven crabs. They said they’re new and they gave me tons of seafood cause DJ Flippers did a little dance. It was bad, but apparently cute, so I got a discount. Does anyone wanna come eat some of this, though? I got a little too excited about free food.

Also maybe someone come help us carry it from the place cause I slashed Motor Rick’s tires in Gator Mike’s honor and he’s probably gonna figure it out soon.

Anyone want to establish a hand-to-hand practise? I performed pathetically in my first Fight Club last month. Call me egotistical but I'm not accustomed to losing, so clearly some work is in order. I usually fight with a trident and magic. I wouldn't mind keeping either or both of those polished provided that you can practice a strong fire block.

I arrived just before the magic-draining mess last month. Name's Altan, for those who don't remember. I'm on Defense Squad C.




You appear to have a thriving black market. I made the rounds last week. Where do the goods come from?

( we don't need permission to dance! )

I want to apologize to the new guy Catra and I found in the forest today. He was already scared, and the glowing eight-foot-tall lady and sexy catgirl probably didn't help the situation. We got him back to the DOA, but it was a feat.

So, new guy, I think you were too busy screaming and swearing to tell us your name - but I'm really sorry for scaring you even more. I hope you're okay. And I promise to be normal-sized next time I see you.

The cast is off. (Thanks Hannah!) $5 Canary Creams at WWW in celebration!

Morgan, do you want my dick cast? Your art's too beautiful to just throw out.

[ FILTERED TO WWW EMPLOYEES ]
The creator fund is flush, so if any of you are looking to start a personalized line of products in association with WWW, come see either Fred or me and we'll brainstorm.

If anyone who's friends with Quentin Coldwater would be willing to let me know how he's doing, I'd appreciate it. I've relayed to the medical staff everything I know about what my skills do and how in hopes that they can use that knowledge to treat him more effectively, but if there's anything else I can do, just say the word.

Alright dumb dumbs - I am just your average squishy human which means all this bullshit is thankfully missing me. Also means I am firmly vertical, sound of mind and memory (at least as sound as I get) and able bodied. I don't do helpful but here we are - if anyone needs anything, sound off? I can do booze runs, coffee runs, food, check in on things. Speak now or forever hold your peace. Seriously though on the forever bit, I will not guarantee how long this bout of selflessness will last.