vallo

Okay. So.

Not only do I get free money and a free apartment, but we're on an island. NOT in the middle of nowhere Texas. There isn't a cow in sight. And there is glorious coffee and food that isn't just bbq??

How do I check yes for sticking around?

For those of you who are concerned, Margo shared everything with me that was going on in her timeline and she'll be fine, and if she wasn't fine, it's Margo. She'll be fine. So everything is fine, really. We're all just fine. Many of you got to know Margo well, so you know. I don't need to tell you just how fine she'll be.


[MAGICIANS]

People who disappear come back, right?

[FANDRAL]

Where are you?

Alexis, I think I found one of your mother's wigs.

I don't particularly remember wishing for anything but over the past couple days I've found a bouncy house in my yard that doesn't need to be plugged in to stay bouncy, a little pool that the water stays perfectly clean and just the right temperature for Lucas, my wine bottle keeps refilling itself, I got told to take an extra long weekend with pay and now a housekeeper just showed up and is apparently on indefinite retainer. At least it's a good weird this time around.

* backdated to yesterday

Has any of this latest nonsense gone back to normal for anyone yet? And if so how long did it take?

Okay, hypothetical...

You have a bazooka and some cutie messaged you and wants to go on a date.

What would be something real good to blow up around here?

Hello, everyone! This is just a reminder that with all this stress, mystery, unexpected-hostile-takeovers-from-rude-people and warmer weather, make sure you hydrate!

[ Filtered to Friends (feel free to assume) ]

If it's not one thing, it's another, isn't it? I've been researching what this Maleficent is like in between my defense team training and patrols and she's quite-- well, if she asked me to dance, I would say no, feigning tendonitis, because I do not like her personality one bit. Is everyone alright? Can I do anything to help other than vibrate with anxiety? I'm beginning to annoy my cat.

In the animated film, it took a prince of pure heart to stab her, but one would think she's kind of improved her skill since then, since it was a somewhat embarrassing show of her abilities. I'm not saying that I hope she's gotten more difficult to fell, but I am saying that I've died in loads of awkward ways, and even I'd be a bit put out if some random with a clever hat managed to stab me in the heart first try (also, I think the thorns are metaphors for the emotional walls she built to keep others out, but I don't think that's really helpful in our present situation).

Don't know if I'll ever quite get over seeing a list of names like that.

filtered to lizzie.
What can I do?

Hey all you hip cats! I just have to tell you what I've been up to lately. First of all, isn't it amazing that I now posses a device, in the handy-dandy pocket of my dress, that is capable of accessing the entirety of information? It's true! I can even use it to look at photos of cats and get into arguments with strangers!

Thanks in part to that information at my fingertips, I've been able to learn so much about many of you. So much info, so much concern - are some of you okay? I understand that matters of the heart can be really hard unlike Ralph's flaccid d-- and also when you give sword lessons it's really easy to confuse the two types of swords so you just keep gallivanting around and putting the wrong one into anything that has a vague pulse to hide your own insecurities and doubts and true feelings, but! You can work it out. I promise!

So consider that, and consider this pick-me-up called a Dark and Horny:

2 oz bourbon
1/2 oz lemon syrup
Ginger beer
2 slices of lemon - for garnish
Mix, enjoy, and get yourself tested for sexually transmitted diseases. These days, they're just abbreviated to STDs! Testing is free at the clinic! These 'STDs' are as old as the gods, it's completely normal to have one after so much sharing and caring.

You all have a fantastic day - and see you later, alligators!

A water dragon, then a sky dragon. All right, so the water dragon was more like a dinosaur, but still. I am clearly not meant to deal with big shit in the past and thanks for the heals. I think I'm just going to drink away the rest of the time we're here. Come get me if you need something.

[ NETWORK POST ]
Sup. I need to do a sweep of a castle and make sure nothing hellish is in it. Who wants to help me and what's your price?

[ JOURNAL TO FRIENDS* BOTH PAST & PRESENT ]
Check in, bitches. I know most of you are okay, but a confirmation would be great. All of you bounced out of this time period and Castle Whitespire showed up in your place. -10/10, would rather have the reverse.

Do I need to check on anything other than Fen's fat cat and knives?

[*If she's talked to you, you're a friend. Yes, this includes you, Kady and Marina. No, she will not cop to it.]

HEY. How come I ain't listed on the Defense Team no more?

Did I get fired?

Does this mean I get to go back to crime now?? Because honestly, men have done it for less. I tried to go straight and do good, okay? Not like I showed up on time all the time, but I beat things up real good, even the stuff that wasn't real!

Where is Bruce? Did I just get evicted? Did the kid skip town? Look, I know it gets messy sometimes but even for me this is a few pages short of a smutty romance novel.

I just wanted to drop a quick missive thanking everyone who participated or watched Fight Club this past weekend! What a rush!!

• Adora, you were quick and deadly; I look forward to our future sparring missions together and potentially???? our wearing matching ponytails (I can but hope).
• Simon, it is an honor to fight someone as powerful as you, and I would desperately like to know why you turned into a dragon and not a smaller, fluffier Simon when you puppeted. Did you know my sister is half-dragon? Oh, the wilds of the world!
• Natasha, you are scary and you remind me very much of a friend of mine from back home who is likewise scary, the kind of friend that I think we're friends but I'm not exactly sure because of the fear, but she shows up and thumps things when I need her to and I am very glad she is on my side!
• Wynonna, were I not taken and you not taken, I would ask to share a milkshake together with one straw so that we could play footsie under the table, but alas, we are ships passing in the night (and also you hit like a stampeding horse).
• Castiel, you are a mystical being (I think??) and so I feel a little bad that I pummeled you, but it was a worthy fight and I hope you are happy and not vengeful.
• Finally, Arthur, I have an OCEAN of respect for you, I'm not FISHING for compliments, and also, I owe you another beer if you'll agree to SCHOOL me in the way you move so quickly.

This is Solaire, thanking you for the jolly cooperation, and a toast to the Frye twins who organized this joyous event!!

Unrelated - I do not fancy my arse in bell bottoms.

Well this is some Mystic Falls decade dance realness.

FYI phone and computer systems at the DOA offices are - old. We might be slow moving on things this morning but let us know if anyone needs anything during this latest weirdness.

Your forest had a beast problem, so I took care of the ones in my vicinity. I assumed that they were no one's livestock, but if they were, I'll offer recompense - somehow - and I advise you to get less bloodthirsty livestock next time. I hear cows are pleasant.

I'm given to understand that this is some sort of alternate world. ...all right. Thank you for the guidance and the welcome; they were unexpected. I confess to some amount of confusion but no one's tried to eat me yet so I'll express my gratitude for that.

My name is Ludwig. Leader of the Holy Blades, whatever's left of them. No one I've spoken with has heard of my home, Yharnam, but if you have be assured that the cycle has been broken, and no Yharnamite, including myself, is a danger to anyone presently.

No 'welcome and sorry about the displacement' fruit basket?

Selina Kyle. Hello, Vallo.

You're okay. You're fine. It's not like it's even really your birthday. It's just a day. That's all. Doesn't mean anything unless you make it mean something. You're not actually a year closer to anything because it's not even been a year. And maybe with all the random crap here there's some kind of solution. And it's not like Josie's

Does this place have any kind of spa? Thinking about treating myself for my birthday tomorrow. Even though it was just my birthday. This place is so weird. But that one didn't have a spa weekend. I'll settle for a spa day and a good place for centering self yoga. Good but affordable.

Spa day is open to whoever, but it won't be today because I'm trying to not panic the spa has to be found. Maybe next weekend, though. Mom Caroli Next weekend looks better.

I'm not even going to bother trying with a filter. Ella, east beach. Atlantis checkpoint. They can turn you into a mermaid for as long as you like. Tail color tends to be kind of tied to personality so it's not predictable. But it works. You can visit the city down there too while you're at it.

Goes for you new people too, Atlantis exists - check it out sometime. Tell em Arthur sent you.

If anyone at Morningside finds it has suddenly started raining in their apartment, don't panic. There was something glowing in the toilet and I fished it out. It appears to be one of the totems mentioned. I have some affinity for water so I'll get it under control. Eventually It just might take a minute.

If there is any permanent damage, submit your complaint to the DOA office and I'll handle that too.

[ FILTERED TO MAN-WOL, MARINA ANDRIESKI, ESSEK THELYSS, AQUAMAN, CAROLINE FORBES, & BONNIE BENNETT ]
Hello beautiful people.

You're on this filter because Man-wol has a little bit of a problem where this sentient hotel is attached to her like a bad fungus. She wants out of this relationship and I don't blame her. I have some axes, The Sorrows, that have the capability of separating entities from one another.

But because some ancient deity is responsible for this bs, I wanted to take a few precautions. Mainly, would love some backup if the hotel retaliates in some way. I figured I'd get some of the people I have been making nice with and people that Man-wol spoke to about getting help from, together, and see if you wanted to stand around looking pretty and powerful?

Thanks in advance.