ᴄᴀᴛʀᴀ ʀᴀɪɴʙᴏᴡꜰɪꜱᴛ-ᴍᴇᴏᴡᴍᴇᴏᴡ (hisses) wrote in valloic, @ 2021-02-09 10:14:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, she-ra: adora, she-ra: catra |
WHO: Catra & Adora
WHAT: Catra wakes Adora up at 3am to to discuss their relationship status because why not
WHERE: Their Morningside Apartment
WHEN: This morning
WARNINGS: Fluff
STATUS: Complete
Catra couldn’t sleep. Yes, her sleeping habits have definitely been better. As in, she usually captured several solid hours of sleep throughout the night. Sometimes she didn’t - and that was expected, it didn’t surprise her. Nightmares (about Scorpia, Entrapta, the fucking portal, sometimes Adora, all the usual suspects) still happened, but she could choke down the panic and guilt they brought. Things were fine. They were also weird, knowing that this was temporary and the biggest gamble was the longevity of it all. Tomorrow or the next could be the day she’d wake up to an empty bed, her phone pinging with Adora’s name listed on the disappearance list. Or what if she suddenly returned back to that stark white cell, ready to be subjected to whatever horrors were awaiting for her on Prime’s ship and never knowing what she’d lost having been here? Everything was on pause, technically. One day they’d both go back. Who the fuck knew how things would even go but the possibility made her wonder. Made her wonder a lot, actually. The kind of wondering that kept her up at three in the fucking morning, hoping that eventually the even little breaths coming from Adora would lull her back to slumber. They frequently did during times like these. Her scent, the weight of her arm on her - it was the perfect recipe to calm Catra the fuck down. But she supposed it was different when all the stuff she was wondering about had to do with Adora, and all these questions and scenarios swirled around the mess of her overactive brain. Her tail was definitely not staying still because of it. The twitching, the short lashes it gave was an indicator that she was in a mood. And that mood wasn’t going away anytime soon, so… Screw it. Catra shifted in bed, nuzzling up into Adora with a purpose. The purpose was to wake her up, sweetly - because she could be sweet occasionally, whatever. She rubbed her cheek into hers to scent her, purred up a storm, let her claws extend a teensy bit to knead into her shirt. When none of that woke her ‘roommate’ (the kind of roommate you shared a bed, kissed and held hands with, obviously), she propped herself up on an elbow and grabbed her shoulder to jostle her abruptly. “Adora,” she whispered loudly. “Adora. Adora. Heeeey, Adora. Wake up.” Adora had acclimated to this peaceful, war-less environment almost too easily. Without the intense structure of the Horde or the stress that accompanied being constantly on the brink of battle, she’d been sleeping better than she ever had in her life. She had her worries, but she was working on keeping them minimized. Here and now, she was okay. She had Catra, and they were safe, and Horde Prime — well, they’d worry about that if they ever went back. (When, probably. But she didn’t want to think that way right now.) She could feel Catra rubbing up against her, even in her unconscious state, but it didn’t register enough to wake her up. She was used to Cattra being catlike with her, nuzzling her, kneading her, purring up a storm. But being jostled did the trick. She startled awake so suddenly that her heart jumpstarted, and once she’d looked around the room and assessed there wasn’t any immediate danger around her, her eyes focused on Catra. “Catra, it’s still dark,” she huffed, turning her head away and stubbornly squeezing her eyes shut again. “Time for sleep.” But that lasted all of two seconds before she was blinking up at her again, her grumpiness pushed out by concern. Catra didn’t typically wake her for nothing, after all. “You okay?” Ughhhh. Catra was half tempted to grab the spare blanket and sulk into the living room to watch something mindless if anything else. The more she thought about it the more it seemed like a solid plan - less intimidating than waking Adora up to ask her questions. Dumb questions. They were probably really stupid. What would be the point? Oh god. She was regretting this already but when Adora didn’t roll over to stay asleep, Catra figured she might as well bite the damn bullet. Darkness aside, her eyes were always a little glowy - bright and striking with perfect vision at night. They were conflicted at the moment, watching Adora with a degree of uncertainty. She shifted, laying on her stomach but holding herself up by both elbows now. “Do you think we would be like this if we were back home?” Catra questioned as she picked at her claws. “Or... be like this if we were home and weren’t involved in war?” It took Adora’s eyes a minute to adjust to the lack of light, but it was still easy to see that Catra was a little nervous. Another one of those Magicat qualities were the glowing eyes, always bright even in the pitch black darkness of the Fright Zone. Throughout the war, Catra had become so hard and cold. Adora liked seeing a little emotion in her eyes again. That question, though, was the last thing she had expected. She’d assumed Catra had woken up from another nightmare and needed some comfort in the form of cuddles — which Adora was more than happy to provide. This took her by surprise; she had to pause a minute and think before she answered. It was a serious question, one she’d wondered about herself, and it deserved a serious answer. “Yeah, I think so,” she said softly, lifting one hand to stroke Catra’s cheek. “I mean, I hope so. The war…it made a lot of things complicated. But it never changed how I feel about you.” There had definitely been some rough low points where she’d faltered; the portal and all that had come with it were at the top of that terrible list. But it hadn’t erased nearly two decades of a relationship. And it hadn’t erased that scrap of hope she had been clinging to since the day she defected. “Do you think we would be?” she asked, bunting the question back. “Is that what you want?” Oh. That wasn’t a bad answer. Catra blinked, having then just realized that she was expecting the literal worst case scenario in this entire ordeal. Some form of rejection, maybe? It seemed silly. Adora cared about her - she was fully aware of that - but whether or not Adora wanted her the same way she did (honestly, she didn’t get why the hell she would since she was equivalent to hot garbage anyway) wasn’t something that felt completely clear to her. Like, sleeping in the same bed and holding hands wasn’t anything particularly new. That was them falling back into comforting habits. The kissing was what changed the dynamic. Was Adora kissing her because she just wanted to kiss, or did she want to kiss just her? They never explicitly defined what was going on between them. It just was. There had been a few almosts, back when they were cadets but - No, she wouldn’t think about those. Those moments were as good as dead. Shadow Weaver had made sure of that. “I mean,” Catra began, looking away from her. “I don’t want this to just be a here thing. I want…” You, was what she should say. Richie had encouraged her to fess up but fuck was that easier said than done. That was really putting herself out there, raw and exposed to all sorts of potential hurt if it went south. “I like us this way. I don’t want this with anyone else.” This was not a side of Catra that Adora had seen often. More often when they were cadets, maybe, but she had shut off this side of herself — in front of Adora, at least. That apology she’d heard over Darla’s comms before she’d sent Glimmer to them was the first time she’d heard any hint of vulnerability in her voice in a very long time. She heard it more often here, but this was more than that. “Hey.” She lifted her free hand to Catra’s other cheek, using both hands to coax her back so their eyes met again. “This is more than just a here thing for me. I didn’t kiss you just because you’re here and it’s easy. I’ve always felt this way about you… No one else.” She didn’t think she’d ever taken the time to sit with it and consider what it all meant before. She didn’t have the time. Here, though, she had more time than she knew what to do with. She’d found herself in that familiar spiral, doing her share of dwelling on every little moment and what it meant, and she’d come to some realizations. She was content enough not to push her luck, no matter how badly she wanted more, but Catra was asking. She would give her honesty. “I want a lot more than this with you. Here or at home,” she admitted, a little shy but sure. “I’m hoping we stay here, though. It’s better here.” There had been that whole dark Vallo deal at the end of last month — she and Catra had helped out with a bit on the sidelines — but that was nothing compared to being entrenched in war. Want was an important word there. Adora had always been the need sort of type, but never for herself - she always needed to fix things, always needed to protect until she was worn down to the very bone. And to be a part of something that Adora wanted had Catra feeling a little… Vulnerable, she guessed. Hopeful as well, judging from the butterflies fluttering about in her belly. Their eyes met and hers still held that uncertainty from before. A hand reached up to circle around one of her wrists, and her thumb grazed over her knuckles. “Even after everything?” Catra asked quietly. It was hard to atone for her mistakes when they weren’t in their own timeline - and she had so much to make up for, not just to Adora but to Scorpia and Entrapta and basically the whole fucking planet. She couldn’t fix things stuck here. “I want to make up for it, I just...don’t know how to do it from all the way out here. It feels like I don’t deserve you, or like I shouldn’t get to have you.” This was something. This was progress. She wanted to make this work, whatever they ended up labeling it. Catra had just done so many terrible goddamn things (some of the physical evidence being etched into Adora’s back, permanently) that she needed Adora to be sure about this. And even if down the line she realized it was a mistake, and changed her mind then Catra would respect that. It was worth taking a risk. Being in Vallo had, for the first time in her life, given Adora the opportunity to actually want things. She had done almost nothing in her life because she wanted to. She did what she needed to do, what she had to, because it was the right thing, because it would save a life, because it would win a battle. Now that none of that was a factor, she could shift gears. She could kiss Catra when she wanted to, do what she wanted whenever she wanted, get a pet, eat all sorts of things even Bright Moon had never offered her. Catra was what she wanted most — who she wanted most. She had forgiven Catra her sins quickly, before they’d even shown up here. The physical damage was irreparable from here, obviously, but she could make it right personally, emotionally. Adora knew she was genuinely sorry, genuinely regretful, and she was trying so hard. That meant something to her. She had to hope it would mean something to their friends at home, too. “Well, you have me.” Her heart was thumping with nerves; expressing herself this way may be less intimidating for her than for Catra, but it was still very vulnerable. She had worked so hard for so long to not be vulnerable. People needed a superhero and she did everything she could to provide that. “I’m not holding a grudge. If you want me, you have me.” She shifted her grip, wrapping her arms around Catra’s back to tug her properly against her for cuddles. “Okay?” Not much tugging necessary for cuddles - Catra nestled into her with ease, tail finding its way around her leg. Hearing that put tonight’s insecurities to rest, a comfortable warmth settling throughout her body. A subtle purr began to quietly thrum up her throat. “I want you,” she whispered. It wasn’t some accidental blurt laced with awkwardness. The words were said with intent. Right now they were easier to say than what she actually felt, but she hoped Adora got the gist. Her arm curled around Adora’s waist to anchor her close, and all Catra wanted was to tangle herself into her and not even know where one of them started and the other ended. “And I’m not holding any grudges either,” she exhaled. Catra was done with that; done being resentful and spiteful about what happened. Adora didn’t deserve it. “No more. I promise.” Adora smiled, relief crashing through her when Catra settled into her arms. She pressed her nose to her forehead, breathing her in, stomach full of butterflies. There was something thrilling about hearing her say those words — I want you. Quiet but intentional, more open than Catra typically was about anything she felt. But that had changed here. Everything was changing, in ways she could have only hoped were possible back home. “I’m yours,” she murmured, kissing Catra’s forehead. “There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck in another universe with.” As much as she missed Bow and Glimmer, being without them and without all the external pressures that came with being on Etheria had given her and Catra a chance to figure things out. She really did want what they had here back home, but they got a chance to do things differently here. “I bet you say that to all the girls in Brightmoon making kissy faces at you,” Catra teased with a chuckle, tipping her head up to flat out scent her again - cheeks and face rubbing into hers, purring a shameless notch louder. That tension she’d been harboring had seeped out from her muscles, and she was perfectly lax and snug against Adora. “M’sorry I woke you up for this, though.” And speaking of kissy faces, Adora did get an actual kiss against those lips - light and sweet, an apology for disrupting her sleep. “I should have probably waited to talk during regular business hours. It just, um.” A sheepish wince. “Wouldn’t let me sleep.” It had been nagging at her for awhile now and her brain chose tonight to be fed up with it. “S’okay,” Adora assured her, leaning in for another kiss. “I want you to wake me up when you’re worried. Especially if it’s keeping you awake.” In fairness, she hadn’t expected to be woken up in the middle of the night for something like this — usually it was due to nightmares, typically Catra more than Adora herself — but she didn’t mind. She wanted Catra to know she was here for her, no matter what. “Feel better now?” she questioned. She took the purrs that were vibrating against her chest as a good sign, but she wanted to check in. She could sleep later; her first priority was making sure Catra felt safe, always. Catra let out a sigh, a good one - not an exasperated one for once. “Yeah,” she answered truthfully, pressing her cheek and a fuzzy ear to her chest. The sound and feel of Adora’s heartbeat was nice. Felt like home, like all the hushed nights they spent as children squeezed in Adora’s bed talking about promises and dreams of the future. “I’m good. Don’t know if I’m tired enough to go back to sleep but I can go to the living room.” Television was this novel concept and they recently learned what it meant to binge watch and marathon shows - like, wow. No doubt she could re-watch a few episodes of Kitchen Nightmares. “Unless you wanna come cuddle with me on the couch,” she proposed, trailing a couple kisses against her collarbone. “I don’t want to keep you up more, though.” Adora hummed, gently scratching that sensitive spot behind Catra’s ear. “I’ll come with you. Might fall asleep again, but I sleep better next to you.” The TV wouldn’t bother her much with the way she was sleeping these days. She liked curling up with Catra, feeling her breathing and purring against her. It was partly the comfort of the familiar, partly the three years of being apart she had to make up for. Her ears twitched and flickered under her ministrations, a small mrrrr mixing in with the purrs - Adora really made it difficult to get up, didn’t she? “Sleep’s the goal anyway,” Catra replied and sat up, hair messy from all the tossing and turning she’d done before. “Um, before we get comfy -” Catra’s brows furrowed, wishing she really just had better timing when it came to these questions but here she was again, past three o’ clock in the goddamn morning, inquiring further on their, uh. Status of things. “Are you okay with me calling you my roommate? Or do you want something else?” “Oh. Uh.” Adora sat up, brushing her bangs out of her face. Her mind was already starting to cloud again, so she took a moment to focus. Yet another question she hadn’t expected to answer in the middle of the night. But this one, perhaps, she should have been prepared for. It was all kind of under the same umbrella. She’d had a very visceral reaction to the roommate label the first time she’d seen Catra use it on the network; it just didn’t feel right to her. They were way more than just roommates, always had been, but she hadn’t said anything. It felt easier to stick with the ‘I’ll take what I can get’ mindset. She didn’t want to push anything too far when their relationship was still fragile. Now, though, they were more settled. And Catra was asking, so again, it was time to just be honest. “I don’t really like ‘roommate’,” she admitted, picking up their blanket and twisting it between a couple of fingers. “We’re more than that, so I feel like…whatever you call me, or we call each other, it should be more. Right?” Yeah. More. Truthfully speaking, the ‘roommate’ moniker didn’t sit well with her either. It felt - wrong? It wasn’t a lie, they were technically living together, but it did shit to really describe what they were so it was nice to hear she wasn’t the only one that thought the same. “Didn’t mean to make you think so hard while you’re so sleepy,” she mumbled, reaching over to help brush those bangs away. Adora with her hair down was kind of a favorite sight. “I don’t like ‘roommate’ either, so. We’ll axe that.” Catra worried her bottom lip with her teeth, speaking after a beat. “We could try… the girlfriend thing. If that’s something you’re comfortable with.” Admittedly the word rolled off her tongue in a funny way - the term wasn’t anything she’s really used before. Growing up it wasn’t heard too often, though she was aware of the implications. A smile split Adora’s face and her eyes lit up, her entire posture straightening. “Really?” Girlfriends and boyfriends weren’t a new concept for her. They were rare in the Horde but not totally unheard of. But it wasn’t until she got to Bright Moon that she learned the term was more commonplace but so much more significant than she’d ever known. “Yeah. Yes.” She reached out to take Catra’s hands, linking their fingers together and squeezing. This was the last conversation she’d expected to have at this hour, but the loss of sleep was totally worth it. She felt wider awake than she had since Catra had first shaken her into consciousness. “I want to be your girlfriend. If you’re sure that’s what you want?” Catra didn’t expect for the word to, ah, invigorate Adora the way it did. At least she was reassured it was the right label. “It’s already that kind of relationship,” she shrugged, taking her hands to squeeze back as she tried to fight the warmth rising to her cheeks. “I want people to know you’re unavailable because you’re mine and that I’m yours too. If they happen to ask, or whatever.” They had the makings of a relationship already - the exclusivity, the kisses and co-habitation and feelings. Those were obvious even if they hadn’t expanded on how deep those feelings ran. They had a lot of things to still work through but they were working on it at their own pace. And it was going pretty well thus far. “I want that, too. I like being just yours. And I like you being mine.” Adora gave Catra’s hands in her grasp another gentle tug, hoping to coax her into her lap and kiss those adorably blushing, freckled cheeks. She was practically bursting with happiness and excitement and wanted to share that with her girlfriend. “Now, c’mere and let me kiss you.” “When do I not let you kiss me,” Catra countered with a snort and a fond roll of her eyes. She was easily persuaded into her lap, though - legs going around her waist, hands freeing themselves from Adora’s grip just so she could squish her face like she was checking for brain damage for the millionth time. “I question your taste in women but I’m also not going to complain?” And she kissed her of course, several cheesy ones over her stupidly goddamn beautiful face. She was happy about this too, even if there was always a part of her wanting to scream how she didn’t deserve it. Adora had said she was hers so that’s what she was going with. Her insecurities could go fuck themselves. |