PEOPLE OF VALLO, I have three very very important announcements:
1) Eddie Spaghetti Kaspbrak is my boyfriend. 2) I've got a twenty minute set booked for Friday night at [Location]. It's GOTTA be better than bad love poetry night. 3) SO a bunch of money showed up randomly?? Like money I didn't work for. Which, cool. Very cool. I spent it SO wisely, dudes. Taking suggestions for more scenarios NOW. Losers can pick their poison but not the rest of you fuckers.