Unfortunately. Nothing kills the mood more than a sext asking if you would like to duck.
Not to create anymore terrible associations between him and myself but that is the ultimate base of torture, at least it was in the Hell I'm familiar with. The humans who called it their eternity sent themselves there and chose their punishment, I or the demons I assigned took that and created their torture. Our minds conjures what ultimately gets to our very core and traps us there.
I killed my brother to save the woman I loved. When I returned to Hell briefly for information, I was trapped in a loop of killing him over and over until my mother interfered and pulled me out. There is no shame in not being able to withstand him invading your mind. As for Pandemonium drawing you to it, maybe it's because you believe yourself to belong there after it all and not so much that you actually do?