WHO: Wynonna & Doc WHEN: December 10th after this WHERE: The Homestead porch WHAT: Saying some important words b/c you know...emotions. WARNINGS: Nothing I can think of?
Doc was still feeling that sense of contentment, a feeling he’d been chasing for some time. His choices, his life, everything up to this point had ended in him wanting nothing but peace going forward. For some time he’d thought peace was unattainable, but it had been more than a day and the feeling hadn’t dissipated yet. He felt happy and peaceful. He didn’t want to question it or believe it to be a trick of the mind. He knew things had been unusual around emotions, but...he didn’t want this to be that. He wanted it to be something real.
He made his way to the porch to find Wynonna. He’d meant to say it to her first in person, but he’d just wanted to say it. But now he was going to go actually say it after a long time of skirting around it and never outright saying it. Wynonna had called him emotionally constipated and he had been.
But he didn’t want to spend his time with anyone else. He’d wanted to tell her, wanted her to see the clues he’d been giving her, but then everything shifted back home and he left. But the chances of him coming back were always there. He just hoped she was willing to listen when he did. And he knew that he could not deny Waverly anything. “Hello, darlin’.”
It wasn’t like Wynonna was completely blind to the feelings that he had for her. They both knew full well how the other felt despite the fact that neither had actually said the words where the other could hear. Everyone knew how they felt about each other. But to come across the words being professed in a comment to someone else over the network, well… that had been unexpected and felt like a sort of challenge, albeit a playful one, so she’d told him to come say it to her face.
And now he was going to.
Something had shifted slightly yesterday in the way she viewed the world. She wasn’t sure what exactly it was, or how it happened, but suddenly she was finding beauty in things she never would have before. And appreciating things she was bad at taking the time to appreciate. Though she did her best to show Doc what he meant to her, it was still something she struggled with. Being vulnerable, letting down those walls entirely, and allowing herself to actually be happy with him. She was trying though, and somehow she felt better about the odds now.
She was sitting on the thick railing of the porch, her back against a pillar and her knees tucked to her chest when he came outside. Her eyes moved from the sky over to him and she gave him a sweet smile, head leaning back against the pillar as well as she looked at him. “Hi, handsome.”
Doc gave Wynonna an easy smile, leaning against the doorframe. He let his eyes roam her face, taking in all the parts of her that he loved. It was hard to pinpoint all of the things because not all of them were things that could be seen. But the way that she looked at him made him melt a little. There’d been some bad times on this porch, but he couldn’t really feel them in that moment. He just felt happiness and love.
He pushed off the doorframe, walking a little closer. “So I am here,” he said after a moment, knowing that he was here for a particular reason. A bit of a challenge was given up and he felt...good about what he was supposed to say to her. He’d waited and now that he was here, he couldn’t figure out why he’d never said it, but he felt comfortable and without a concern in the world because he knew she felt it, too.
“I know I have not said so before, but I do love you, Wynonna.”
There was something so honest to god special to her about the sight of him in the doorway of the homestead with the light behind him, silhouetting him perfectly. It damn near took her breath away.
“Here you are,” she repeated, the smile on her face easy as she watched him move closer. She untucked her knees from her chest and let her legs fall, gentle dangling over either side of the flat railing that she sat on. He had looked at her like this before many times, but the words had always remained unspoken between them.
But hearing them finally, she felt her heart nearly skip a beat and she laughed, it was gentle and light and she couldn’t remember the last time she was quite this happy. “Say it again?” she asked, reaching out for his hand.
Doc rolled his eyes, but it was a lighthearted gesture and he took her hand, moving closer again. He hoped whatever it was that was happening didn’t end in cold, harsh reality later. But the thought slipped from his mind shortly after it was there. His mind assured him that there could be nothing wrong and that everything was as it should be and he felt it deep down.
He took that moment to reach out with his other hand, tilting her chin up and smiled, leaning in and pausing just before kissing her. “I love you, Wynonna Earp.” Even though the words were more quiet, they were no less true. Once he’d finished saying it again, he pressed a kiss to her lips. It was three times since he’d said it straightforward. Not just accused her of loving him or quietly told Wynonna that she was everything when she could not hear him. It was honest and he was unlikely to regret it later. Nothing could be regretted when he felt this way.
Something about this felt almost dreamlike to her, and yet also perfect in a way. Unexpectedly. This porch had seen some rough times between the two of them, but right now there was nothing but a feeling of complete peace. She squeezed his hand gently as he stepped forward, but when his other moved to lift her chin, there was an odd fluttering sort of feeling in her chest that accompanied it. Fuck. How did he do that?
When he kissed her and murmured those words, she suddenly felt lightheaded and squeezed his hand again to try and ground herself. A smile tugged at her lips and she leaned forward enough to kiss him herself, allowing it to linger for a moment before pulling away enough to speak softly against his lips, replying. “I love you, John Holliday.” Finally. It was rare that she called him by his real first name, but it seemed appropriate to do just then.
Doc felt a lightness settle over him. He felt the words as much as he heard them. She loved him and he loved her. It was one of the rare moments of joy. “I could handle hearing that at least one more time. More if you’re feeling up to it.” Because there was some sense of joy having heard it and in general.
He lightly squeezed her hand in return, smiling a little. It was all love. He wasn’t sure how it had taken himself so long to say it, but he knew that the man he had been found it easier to run from the things he was feeling even if he still wanted to settle down with Wynonna for longer than he was likely to have ever admitted. It didn’t need to be marriage or anything quite like that, but he didn’t want anyone else but Wynonna. He hadn’t for a while.
Wynonna grinned and then laughed softly, kissing him again slowly and gently, feeling herself relax the longer they stayed close like this. Or maybe it was the weight of those words finally lifting. “I love you,” she breathed, nudging her nose against his before letting her forehead rest against his own for a moment. “I love you so damn much.”
The fact that it had taken either of them this long to finally reach this point almost felt absurd now. Childish, even. But it had seemed like some sort of unspoken thing between them, knowing without ever having it confirmed. But now here they were and Wynonna felt as if everything was finally right. No, they weren’t at home in Purgatory, but they could have a life together here, right?
He was elated and happier than he knew he could be. He wasn’t sure that the contentment he felt could get more solidified, but it seemed to be. “I have waited for too long to hear it and say it.” He was quiet for a moment before he said. “Do you want to make a fire and sit outside for a while or go inside?” He wanted to be with her no matter if it was just sitting together by a fire and looking at the stars or sitting inside and watching a movie...or whatever else they might get up to there. All he could say for sure was that he wanted the time with her.
They both had waited too long to hear it and say it, but now it was out there in the universe and it couldn’t be unsaid. Not that either of them would want to unsay it at this point. Things had been too good here for the last little while, and this only felt right.
Wynonna laughed a little and craned her chin again to kiss him, slowly but with a need behind it that she couldn’t put into words. After a few moments she broke the kiss with a smile and felt herself just overcome with a sort of happiness she hasn’t felt in a long time. “I think I’d like to go inside and watch something,” she murmured against his lips. “Or ’watch something’, if you get my drift.” Of course he would. He was Doc. She laughed again softly and kissed him once more, hands coming between them to curl into the lapel of his coat just to pull him a little closer, a gentle noise of her own contentment escaping her as they kissed.