InsaneJournal

Filtered to Jesse McCree
Gonna bet Syd already told you, but the Deadlock Gang hideout showed a few days ago. It's a mess - B.O.B. and I have been clearin' it out and gettin' it fit to live in again. Looks like all the tech still works - no visible entry, still responds to the codewords, blah blah. Fits like an old glove for me and B.O.B., but it's a lotta space and I don't much like how it echoes at night without people I like in it. You and Syd have an open invite, if you want it. Gonna ask Brigitte as well.

I know I ain't treated you well this month. It's not right and it's a bad habit, something comfortable 'cause I ain't got no one else to hassle. B.O.B. counts, but he don't - he's always been there for me, and I don't know if he has much choice in the matter. Anyhow. Truth is I been jealous. You and Syd had months together. Don't take this to mean I think you're a stallion or anything completely screwy like that - don't make me laugh; Syd's hotter than you'll ever be - but I was used to Overwatch comin' first thanks to our time on Atlantis. I was gettin' used to Syd comin' first too. I like her, I really like her with you, but it feels mighty lonely sometimes, especially without a heist to pull or Deadlock to distract me. And you two are thick as thieves lately on account of everythin' you went through together. It's only natural. But comin' back like I did, I can feel the lost time. I can feel my lost time. You know this ain't what I wanted for myself. Back home, I was really becomin' a legend. Place like this, I'm just a good shot with a better ass. Blonde #230.

I was never much good at anything but pulling people together around a job. Forcefully, if I had to. I thought if I could blow up that damn hotel I could carve out a solid place here in dynamite. The Overlook put all those feelings of not amountin' to much and made 'em worse. You don't need details and you're not gettin' 'em. But as soon as I got my breath back it made sense to cut you and Syd lose, since it was gonna happen anyway and I don't back lame horses tryin' to coax them to walk. I know this fight is only happenin' 'cause I was a brat, no hotel magic about it. But sometimes it's the difference between a shadow and a dark place, and you can't see how you're just makin' a future happen faster by bein' cruel.

Anyhow. You and Syd don't deserve any of that. We don't want the same thing, and we aren't gonna. I guess that's somethin' I just need to let go of sooner rather than later. Sorry for treatin' you like I did. I'm glad you had my back, even if you had to see me like that.

Consider the Hideout. Don't if you don't want it. But I trashed all the anti-Overwatch stuff and the gun range still works fine.