Erik was nervous which, when he stopped to think about it, was such an odd thing for him. His general state of being was cool as a fall breeze, or at least - he tried to be that way, because he was tired of fighting and tired of shit rolling downhill, where it often exploded in a fiery inferno; loss was also something he was all too accustomed to dealing with, and after Raven’s death and the burst of anger and need for retribution that followed, he’d eased away from constantly looking at the pessimistic side of things. Maybe he could maintain a shred of hope for the future.
But these nerves were different, and surprisingly good, even if they felt like miniature acrobats throwing knives around in his stomach - Rogue had invited him over and he was going to meet his daughter, their daughter, not-his daughter. This was all very new to him but he was hoping to make a good impression so, true to his word when they’d discussed this over sushi, he brought a gift for the little girl. A metallic balloon animal dog, which he’d made himself while he was working on other art projects with Noah. Erik thought it came out well, so hopefully Anka Irene would like it. For her mother he brought a bouquet of flowers - he’d gotten them from the farmer’s market, a place he’d never frequented before they had flowers available that weren’t your typical roses or carnations; they looked almost alien, uniquely shaped and a whole myriad of colors, green and purple and blue.
It didn’t mean anything. He just brought flowers. Because why not - people brought their friends (and altenrate universe wives) flowers all the time. Right.
Her apartment was a few doors down from his, so he made sure he was presentable and then went to her place, knocking on the door.
Rogue had talked with Anka Irene about Erik’s presence in Vallo and had done her best to explain the entire situation. She wasn’t entirely sure the little girl truly understood everything-- how much could a three year old understand about alternate reality fathers?--but the toddler had seemed to catch onto enough of it to have at least some idea. Her father didn’t remember her but he wanted to meet her again, to get to know her again, and that was a good thing. She had missed him and her sister, just as she missed all of their other friends back in Tumbleweed and her brother, Peter. At least here she wouldn’t have to miss her dad any longer.
The little girl was playing with her kitchen set that was against the wall in the living room while Rogue was going through some papers from work, signing off on some last minute things when the knock happened. Anka Irene looked at the door and then at her mother, her eyes widening, nervous energy seeming to bounce off of her.
“It’s goin’ to be just fine,” Rogue assured the little girl, eying their blue bamf with a stern warning look, before making her way over to the front door. Anka Irene climbed onto the couch, peering over the back of it toward the door, curious to see how similar this man was to her father.
Rogue pulled open the door, arching a brow at the flowers even as she stepped aside to let him in. “Come right on in.”
“Thank you,” Erik’s smile was as anxious as he felt, but it was genuine - it reached his eyes, blue as salt water, clear, but there was still a touch of those nerves churning there. Storms ahead. He imagined he’d settle in, however - since he’d been looking forward to this ever since Rogue invited him. “Oh, ah - these are for you,” he added, handing her the paper-wrapped bouquet of flowers.
Was that silly? Should he have brought wine, or chocolate, or - well, wait, what was he even trying to do anyway? Woo her? So many questions and very little in the way of answers.
But it was then he caught sight of the little girl on the couch, observing with her bright gaze. He felt warmth in his chest immediately, like his stupid heart was nothing more than melted chocolate. “Hello, Anka Irene. I’m - “ Well, she knew who he was, didn’t she? Recognized his face. He wasn’t sure what Rogue told her up to this, so he tried to keep it simple. “I’ve been wanting to see you. Again.”
Rogue stepped aside, making sure to stay in Anka Irene’s eyeline as she went to put the flowers in some water. She’d find an appropriate vase and spot to situate them in later. She hadn’t expected them, but they were a rather nice touch. One that she wasn’t going to look too hard at trying to rationalize.
Today was about Anka Irene.
The little girl looked at him curiously, but refrained for now from reaching out telepathically. Her mom had told her not to do that just yet. She needed permission, even if it was her dad. She looked at the metallic puppy in his hands, hazel eyes widening as she took it in.
“For me?” she asked, holding out her hands, wanting to get a better look at it.
“Please,” Rogue reminded, giving her a look as she walked back toward the two, sitting down on the couch opposite where Anka Irene was settled. The three year scrunched her nose at her mother before reiterating the word.
Oh, right, the gift - Erik had been so busy observing Anka Irene, searching for similarities to him, to Rogue, that he almost forgot he was even holding the little metallic balloon-shaped dog. He chuckled fondly at the please (so polite), stepping closer and carefully handing over his creation.
“Yes, this is for you,” he said. “I made it myself. If you don’t like it - I can make something else.” It had been so long since he’d really even interacted with children - his own (other?) daughter Nina had been the last, and he’d been so good with her. Tea parties, playing hide and go seek, helping her feed the slew of animals that congregated around their house (she had names for them all too) - maybe he was a little rusty, but he hoped that he’d ease into it because he truly did love being a father and being delighted by a child’s innocence and sense of wonder. They were different than cynical adults, who often got too caught up in their own self-pity and theatrics.
She accepted the toy with a little squee of glee, turning around to hold it up to show Rogue, who smiled at her before giving her a pointed look. Anka Irene scrunched her nose again before turning back around to face him again. “Thank you.”
She looked back over her shoulder to make sure she had done that right, smiling at Rogue’s nod, before settling down on the couch to look more closely at the dog. It looked like a balloon which was silly but she liked the smoothness of the metal. The fact that it was something she could manipulate with her own powers making her grow even giddier.
“I wanna show Bamfy,” Anka Irene stated to no one in particular before teleporting out of the room.
“I reckon that means its a big hit if she’s wantin’ to show that troublemaker,” Rogue commented from her spot on the couch.
Erik had a feeling that she’d want to manipulate the toy - so he chose a design that would make it easy for Anka Irene to do just that; the metal was pliable and could be shaped into all sorts of things if one had the means to do so, perhaps similar to a balloon itself. She’d have fun with it, he hoped.
“I suppose I should ask - what exactly is Bamfy?” he wondered, sitting on the couch next to Rogue. He had settled in, a little, not so nervous, and he attempted to make himself comfortable. “She’s lovely though - looks like you. Has your eyes.”
That hazel-green, though Rogue’s appeared to be the shade of jade, mossy springtime, in most lighting - not that he noticed, or thought about it much (okay, he had).
“I’m sure he’ll show up soon enough to introduce himself to ya,” Rogue couldn’t help the slightly mischievous smile that graced her lips briefly. She could hear Anka Irene talking away to the creature back in her room and knew it wouldn’t be long before they appeared.
The little girl did have her eyes, not quite the same shade, but similar enough that it was easy to tell they were related. Though the little girl’s temper when she was riled up enough was also a very clear indicator that was the case. “She’s got your focus.” That single mindedness that Rogue had seen come into play over the years when he was intently focused on something.
Though maybe she shouldn’t have said that considering the complexity of the situation. Before she could give it too much thought, the bamf and Anka Irene made their way back into the room, teleporting in front of Rogue. The toddler had brought back a armful of other animals and started placing them onto the coffee table between the two couches, slowly holding them up and introducing each of them to Erik.
“And this Ororoy the tiger, and Peter the elephant, and Uncle Charles the seal, and--” So on and so on as she went down the line, while Bamfy curled up on Rogue’s shoulder like a weird housecat, eyeing the man in the room carefully.
His focus, did she? Erik supposed that was a good thing - or meant to be a compliment, anyway, a positive attribute. It was true that he could get very intense about what he was working on, what he was concentrating on - intense in general, really, that was just in his nature. He didn’t do anything half-assed. The ‘bamf’ was - well, he didn’t know how to classify such a creature. Part of its characteristics looked familiar, though - with the blue shade to its skin and the eyes like yellow suns. The tail too - it was sort of cute?
Though not as cute as being introduced to toy animals, which Erik rapidly shifted his attention toward. “All of these names are very familiar,” he laughed a little, leaning forward to better study the animals, elbows balanced on his knees. “How come Uncle Charles is the seal?”
Was it because he could balance a ball on his nose? The man in question would be tickled pink at all of this, no doubt. Sometimes Erik missed him. Sometimes>
“He got no hair,” Anka Irene told him matter of factly as she continued on with her list. All of them were different people from Tumbleweed that were no longer in their lives. The people that the little girl missed the most.
“Has no hair,” Rogue corrected as she was handed the elephant to hold onto. Her daughter blew out a breath before saying it the right way and Rogue reached over to ruffle the little girl’s hair. Anka Irene pushed forward a lion for Erik to hold as she started to situate the animals how she wanted them to be on the table.
“And what are all of the animals going to do today?” Rogue asked as she moved, settling onto the floor beside the little girl. Anka Irene didn’t answer right away, eyes narrowed as she carefully spaced the toys out before sitting down on her mother’s lap.
“Be mermaids!” She threw her hands up in the air before clapping excitedly. “Like us!” Right. Of course this was going to take a mermaid theme.
Charles the Seal had no hair. That was delightful - he was just so proud (and found the whole thing to be hilarious, even if Charles would have fumbled over it).
Then the lion was taken, held delicately in Erik’s work-worn hands, and he shifted as well - slipped down to sit on the floor (if there was one thing he knew about children, it was that it was helpful to be on their level when speaking). He sat near Anka Irene, folding long limbs into a decent position, careful not to disturb the other animal lineup she had going on here, on the coffee table.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been a mermaid before,” he noted, a spark of amusement in his tone. “Is that something you can show me how to do?” His gaze shifted toward Rogue, and he smiled - rare as a black diamond, genuine, and surprisingly warm and sweet like summer rain. “I bet - I bet your mother is a beautiful mermaid.”
“She is!” Anka Irene agreed, nodding along with him. “At water be mermaid.” It was the closest way she could tell him what they had managed to do back in July. Mermaid adventures had been a highlight and she was determined that they would do it again sometime soon. Maybe this time her daddy could come with them. And Leo and Ms. Zee.
Rogue rested her chin on top of her daughter’s head, finding herself smiling easily back at Erik’s words. She wasn’t entirely certain if she should be. There was only so much heartache anyone could take and she’d endured a lot because of various versions of the man in front of them. Not that it had ever been his fault. Portals were just assholes. And hadn’t she learned by then to grab hold of happiness when she could find it in these places?
“If ya go to this one part of the beach you can get passage to Atlantis. You also get turned into a mermaid for the day while you’re under the water,” she explained, knowing it sounded incredulous, but that was just how things worked. “Tails and all.”
“Oh,” Erik blinked - once, twice, trying to process that information. The idea of getting turned into a mermaid (an actual mermaid?) was not something he’d have considered before. Mostly he just thought that they’d just swim around like a bunch of happy otters or something. But clearly he was wrong.
Would he do such a thing under normal circumstances? Probably not. But if Anka Irene wanted to go with him, would he agree? Of course.
“That sounds like an adventure,” he noted. “Perhaps we could go sometime. Maybe leave Uncle Charles at home though,” he added, playfully touching the lion’s nose to the seal’s face.
“He can swim!” Anka Irene told him, holding up the seal proudly before letting it go. Instead of falling down like it should have, she used her telekinesis to make it float through the air, letting it turn and do flips. “Arf! Arf!” She clapped like she had seen the seals do in the zoo too.
“Seals are water animals,” Rogue pointed out, knowing that taking the seal toy was probably going to need to happen now. There was very little rationalizing with a three year old when she got stuck in her ways and there were only so many battles that were necessary to fight.
“But I reckon, we can hold off on any mermaid adventures for awhile. Let’s ease your daddy into this, kiddo.” She blinked she realized what she’d said, casting Erik a look to see if he was alright with her having used that word for him.
He was more than alright - in fact, Erik looked downright pleased. Relaxed and open, even - such a contrast from the oftentimes dour expression he wore, an invisible ‘fuck off’ sign tacked to his forehead. Invisible it may be, but the message was always clear just based on his body language and the way he carried himself.
Not this time, however. He was with family, and family was always important - after he’d lost Nina and Magda, he would dream of them often and those would be happy times. Different from the crippling nightmares he’d experience where he’d feel a chill that scorched him down to whatever was left of his achy bones, destruction and pain leaching into every cell. When it came to his wife and daughter, the pain came with being awake, not asleep.
It was impossible to not be charmed by the little girl here though - perhaps he was biased, but still.
“And I’m sure we can do other fun things in the meantime too,” he said, giving Anka Irene a boop on the nose with his index finger. “I’d like to spend as much time as I can with you.”
Anka Irene giggled at the bop to her nose, catching his finger between her hand and giving it a squeeze. She wriggled out of Rogue’s lap and over to sit in his, giving him a hug as best she could manage. She had missed her father, her memories of him having started to fade a little, but now they were coming back slowly, the colors brighter than they had been in the last few months.
Rogue smiled softly as she watched the two of them, setting the toy she’d been given back down on the table beside the others. The scene tugged at her heart, bittersweet in so many ways, but it looked like a moment that the two of them both needed to experience. And if she was honest with herself, she also needed it, craved for that familiar feeling of family all over again.
“I reckon we can arrange some play dates between the two of you.”
The toy lion was set on the table too, joining its animal kin - because Erik needed both hands, both arms free to hug the little girl who wiggled her way onto his lap. Memories came rushing back at him, yes, but it was also like feelings returned too - what it felt like to hold your child, and silently vow that you’d keep them safe no matter what. That you’d tear any threat limb from limb, though he had a feeling the greatest threat was something he couldn’t even see or touch - it was the magic of this world, and how finicky or glitchy it was feeling on any given day.
But he knew Rogue had been left far too many times by him - not his fault, exactly, and he certainly wouldn’t have made the choice to leave her. It made her cautious now, when it came to him. Erik didn’t blame her for that. He’d stick around for as long as possible, though. That was what he wanted and it was also probably what he needed.
“I’d love that,” he said, giving Anka Irene a kiss on the top of her head. “Thank you.” For letting him meet his daughter, but also just - for letting him be here.
Rogue watched the two of them, breathing easier at the ease with which he accepted the little girl in his lap and took to her and that she took to him as well. It was going far better than she had thought it might, none of her worries playing out this time around. She listened to Anka Irene start telling him about all of the different places they could visit in the city from the zoo to her favorite parks to telling him about her best friend, Leo. She fell right back into the relationship she’d had, none of the caution built up around her that Rogue had tightly wound about herself.
Baby steps forward. She would let him in slowly, invite him to more things with the two of them, and maybe let him do some with Anka Irene only as well. They might have only met again a few weeks ago, but Rogue knew she could trust Erik, especially with her daughter--their daughter.
It was going to take some time to wrap her head around that again. “Happy to have you on board.”