Ronan Lynch (alteridem) wrote in valloic, @ 2020-08-28 07:56:00 |
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He wasn't about to forget this though.
Being convinced to go to the summer festival was simple—a date night, technically a double-date night with Gansey, Blue, and Henry. And no matter how tired, or how much work he had to do, or whatever other excuse he had, Adam could never say no to Ronan when it came to spending time with one another. It had been easy to slip away from the rest of their group too after a while, promising to meet back up later for fireworks.
It was the spending money part that always tripped Adam up. He rubbed the tiny stack of paper tickets in his pocket between his fingers. Adam was getting better about what was actually deemed wasteful. Without the premise of a date, he would have never forked over cash to play games that were likely rigged. If he wanted to watch the fireworks, he would have found a spot outside of the park to sit and catch the view. There were a lot of ways to enjoy something without dropping a single penny.
But here, Adam got to hold Ronan's hand. Here, he got to keep his face turned to watch Ronan's profile for uninterrupted amounts of time, since he was using his boyfriend as a buffer on his deaf side. And Adam felt good. This moment was priceless; he would pay anything for it to last..
"Which one is catching your attention?" Adam asked, as they weaved between people. There were voices from all different directions, trying to call them over to the booths. "I'm half expecting you to be a pro at ring toss or knocking over milk bottles."
Ronan was always drawn to tacky carnivals and brokedown fairs. The ancient rides. The stale popcorn. All the color and obnoxious noise. Admittedly, he’d probably spent too much time at these kinds of things drunk as shit before, but there’d been a few when he was really young that he’d wandered with his family. His mother loved the carousel. He eyed it circling in the distance as Adam’s question pulled his attention back to the here and now.
He slung an arm around Adam’s shoulders and talked a little loudly to account for being on his bad side. “Is it gonna drive you crazy when I’m a pro at every game here?” There wasn’t a chance in hell he would be, but Ronan could talk big for days.
A tall blinking game caught his eye and his sharp face lit up with excitement. “Oh shit, let’s start there.” He pointed at the high striker, where a tough looking guy was currently picking up a giant mallet. “How strong are you feeling, Parrish?”
Adam appreciated these small concessions. With Ronan's arm slung over his shoulder, and his voice a little louder, Adam never had to ask Ronan to do something else to make it easier. Sometimes it was tough to think past the immediate embarrassment of having his boyfriend repeat something for his sake, but he could hear him perfectly. And of course, what he heard was Ronan posturing about the festival games.
"I don't know if it will drive me crazy, but now my expectations are high. If we don't go home with something large and stuffed, that's going to make you a liar," Adam said, arching his eyebrows in a challenge.
He twisted a bit to see what Ronan was pointed at, and shook his head with a half-laugh. "No way, not strong at all. But you seem up for the task."
Before anyone could stop him, Adam offered the operator two tickets for payment and moved back to allow Ronan to move up. Not before leaning up to whisper in his ear. "If you really want to do it right, it's not just strength, but how fast you can use the centrifugal force to bring it down from behind your back." Adam smiled, paused, then added, "Not that I'm suggesting you cheat. As a professional of these games."
Sometimes Ronan wondered if it was his fault a lot of their love language involved challenging each other. But then he remembered that one of the reasons he’d fallen in the first place was that Adam quietly and emphatically took no shit. From anyone. If he didn’t enjoy the trash talk as much as Ronan did, he’d have walked away ages ago.
Which was why Ronan leaned into it.
“So basically you agree not to bitch when I make you carry the biggest, ugliest stuffed animal here all the way home.” He pressed a loud kiss to Adam’s cheek and reached for the mallet when the guy in front of them dejectedly set it down. “That one’s got your name all over it..” He gestured with his chin at a giant pink hippo dangling from a wall of prizes. Flashing a shark’s grin, he swung the mallet as hard as he could.
Embarrassingly, the meter only went up about halfway before clinking back down again. “Motherfucker,” Ronan snorted. “You got in my head with that centrifugal force shit, you nerd.”
The loud kiss to his cheek surprised a laugh out of Adam. Leave it to Ronan to do something so obnoxiously ridiculous that Adam was charmed. He eyed the giant pink hippo—a deal was a deal, and Adam absolutely would carry it around if his boyfriend spitefully won it at a carnival game. He stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest, already mentally calculating if it would be easier to sling it over his back or bridal carry the stuffed monstrosity out of the park.
So there was a little bit of internal relief when the indicator only made it halfway. Then again he probably should have also mentioned to Ronan that most of these were rigged, and no amount of force would get it to ring the top if that was the case.
"Oh no, no. You can't blame this on me. I was just trying to help," Adam said, all soft smiles and reaching out for Ronan to gently tug him back from the high striker as the next person stepped up and had roughly the same amount of success as Ronan. "C'mon, let's try something else with a little more skill that I can maybe kick your ass in. Unless..."
Adam gestured toward the game, as if to say by all means, keep going.
“Wait, wait.” Ronan dragged his feet to stop their progression away from his nemesis. Part of him definitely wanted to say fuck it and find something easier to impress Adam with. But the other part knew he had a habit of being a lazy ass. Besides, it would drive him crazy if he didn’t try at least one more time. “Just...show me.”
He pulled Adam off to the side so they’d stop getting glared at for holding up the line, even though he couldn’t give two shits what those people thought. He just wanted enough room to convince the love of his life to look stupid for a second.
“Come on, show me how I should do it. I wanna win you that dumbass hippo.”
Adam's expression softened. And then he maybe, maybe, blushed at being asked to show Ronan how to do it. And Adam's face definitely turned a little more red at the determination of his boyfriend wanting to do something for him. This whole situation caused Adam to feel a deep sense of comfort—though he couldn't figure out why.
Not when Ronan wanted to win him that goddamn hippo.
His hands were on Ronan's arms, positioning them behind and over his head—how he would hold the mallet, if he was holding one. They would have to make due with a phantom version. "When you reach the point above your head," Adam said, adjusting Ronan's arms as he spoke. Then he stepped up beside Ronan and without batting an eye, mimicked the gesture of what he needed to do. If they looked stupid, who cared.
"Stand closer to the target than you need to, and tuck your arms in on the downward swing. The velocity plus your strength should be enough to make it hit the top," Adam said, eying another loser at the game behind Ronan. He shoved two more tickets into Ronan's hand, grinning. "You can't say shit about physics again if this works."
Ronan had thought it might take more work, so he smiled loose and easy when Adam didn’t even give him any lip first. “Like this?”
He stood as Adam indicated but purposefully bumped his hip into Adam’s instead of thrust the right way. “Shit, no that’s not right,” he smirked. Lifting his arms again, he focused this time and felt pretty good about the feel of his swing. He chopped enough wood around the farm that this should have been easier than it was, goddamn it. His eyes narrowed into slits as he accepted the offered tickets and stepped back into line.
“The worst part about these places is the damn lines. We need to get grub next. What are you, Parrish?” He waggled his eyebrows. “A cotton candy man or a hot dog man?”
When Ronan's eyes narrowed, Adam slid in and offered him a quick kiss. Adam knew he probably could convince Ronan that he didn't need to do this, because Adam knew how strong he was and they didn't need a carnival game to prove it. But he wouldn't be Ronan if he wasn't the stubborn asshole that Adam loved. Besides, Adam was much better at supporting his boyfriend's persistent determination than trying to tell him no.
He leaned heavily into Ronan as they waited in line, an arm coming to sling loose around his waist. "Are those my only two options?" Adam asked, then made an exaggerated show of contemplating the choices. "Does it have to be either or? What if it was both? Or what if it was a different take on the hotdog? I might be partial to a corndog," Adam said, canting his head to side with a little return hip check from before.
After a second, they were shuffled forward, next in line after a guy who Adam could tell was gripping the mallet wrong. "Do you need a pep talk? Maybe I should shake the nerves out of your arms? How about a kiss for good luck?"
“Oh my God, shut up. You’re such a little shit.” Ronan softened the words with a crooked grin before crowding close to press his forehead to Adam’s. He’d hoped this whole night would make them feel normal, even with Cabeswater lurking back at the Barns, and so far it was mostly working. Adam was as intoxicating as ever and just as determined to get his way.
“Corndogs are inherently phallic, you know,” Ronan deadpanned, dipping down to claim a kiss. With that luck in hand, he took his second turn with the mallet and this time, he got it three quarters instead of less than halfway.
“Congratulations! You get to pick a prize from the first row,” the attendant said with forced cheer.
Ronan returned to Adam with a purple strongman mallet the size of a coke can. He booped Adam on the forehead with it. “Holy shit, this is an upgrade.”
Claiming a kiss from Ronan would never get old, and it certainly never stopped surprising him, so Adam was a little slow to recover as Ronan stepped up to the machine. "I know, why do you think I picked it," Adam hollered a little after him.
Adam was, however, wildly impressed by seeing Ronan make it further up the machine. It also helped that Adam was unabashedly zoning in on Ronan's arms as he did it but he was allowed. He never had to glance away in an attempt to hide the uncertain feelings he had had trouble expressing, again. How Ronan ever spent so long doing the same thing without combusting was beyond Adam.
"Now who's the shit?" Adam asked as Ronan approached with his prize. His face scrunched up at the boop, but he was smiling. "This just means I have to win something to match you. What goes well with a mallet? A kazoo?" Adam asked as he nonchalantly took the mallet out of Ronan's hand to examine it.
And bonked Ronan right back on the nose. Then took a step back, then another. If Ronan wanted his prize back, he'd have to catch him.
“What goes with a mallet is one of those dumbass strongman outfits,” Ronan smirked, making a show of looking down the midway. “But I doubt any of these booths are handing those out--Hey!” Immediately fired up by the theft of his weapon, he reached out to reclaim it but missed as Adam dodged backwards. It was a good thing he was possessive and competitive and stupidly turned on whenever Adam challenged him.
It was also a good thing Adam was fast as shit. Ronan was out of breath by the time a carnival attendant yelled at them to stop running around and they crashed to a stop, tangled up in each other. He laughed breathlessly against Adam’s jaw and then lifted his head to sniff the air.
“I smell pretzels.” He linked his fingers through Adam’s. “Let’s get like six and take them over to the carousel.”
Chest heaving, Adam plastered himself against Ronan watching him sniff out food while he caught his own breath and nodded at the plan. He turned a little, scoping out the area, spotting the pretzel stand a few booths. With his hand already linked with Ronan he maneuvered them over to another line but it moved quickly.
Adam, all pleasant smiles and absolutely serious, eyed Ronan as he told the cashier, "We're going to need like six?" And Adam—painfully frugal Adam—did something so uncharacteristic: he paid. The total made some part inside of him cringe but he ignored it. For once, in his whole damn life.
He was quick to pass over three of the deceptively small, and incredibly hot, soft pretzels to Ronan as they came through the window, and bounced his half between his hands. He soothed his burning fingers by pressing them to his lips.
"Why the carousel?" Adam asked, taking a bite of his pretzel. "Not that I mind—" He chewed, then swallowed. "Just curious."
Ronan didn’t verbally comment on the paying, but he did watch Adam closely, with soft eyes and a little smirk. He’d been just about to tell the vendor five of the pretzels were for him just so they wouldn’t have to fight over the money, but Adam beat him to it all. He couldn’t promise he wouldn’t stuff some bills in Adam’s wallet later, so he jammed pretzel into his mouth instead of saying anything about it at all.
“Ah! Fuu--is hot--” He mouthed brokenly. When he could finally swallow, he leaned into Adam’s side and scowled at the carousel. “Mom loved them. She always picked the unicorn and she’d name our animals stupid cheesy shit.” He took another bite. Maybe too big of one considering how fucking hot the pretzel still was. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter,” he mumbled around a mouthful.
Adam was far more delicate with his eating. But he smiled around each bite of his pretzel as he watched Ronan shove his into his mouth. Adam was content watching the bright lights of the rides dance around them, returning Ronan's closeness by leaning back.
"Hey, wait, it's not whatever," Adam said, frowning. He knew he was walking a delicate line here: Adam didn't want to force Ronan into talking about his mom when it pushed on a bruise that was not quite (and maybe never going to be) healed. But he didn't want Ronan to shrug off memories like it wasn't important or that Adam wasn't interested in listening. He didn't know how to explain that he would gladly hold on to the stories of Aurora with Ronan.
"Favorite cheesy name and what animal it was?" Adam closed his eyes and tipped his face up to the sky. "I need to paint a mental picture here of a tiny version of you on a bear or dragon or something."
It was impossible still for Ronan to talk about his mother without heartsick hesitation. It was less that with Adam though, and more just a reluctance to bring down the night. The more he talked about Aurora, the more he’d have to consider the option Dan had offered to communicate with his dead parents.
Ronan wanted to do it. He needed to do it. But he absolutely dreaded it too. It was such a mess.
“Um, shit.” Ronan rubbed a hand roughly over his head and looked a little sheepish. “Not to be completely fucking predictable and a little dull but…it was a stag not a dragon. She named it Moose. She had to help me climb up onto it though, because I was a fucking shrimp.” He snorted and finished off his first pretzel. At least it had enough time to cool off just a little.
"You're anything but dull, Ronan," Adam said, like it was instinct. Like he was used to turning down any and all self-deprecation coming from him. There was no way Adam would allow Ronan to think of him anything less, when Adam could only believe him to always be more. Besides, Adam was selfish—listening to these moments Ronan shared about his mother was a reminder that childhoods, no matter who or what you were, could be normal.
Naming a stag Moose on a carousel was as normal as they came. That was different than dull. Adam didn't say any of this out loud though, only nodded, pleased with the anecdote.
"And you're not predictable," Adam said a beat later, offering the last bite of his first pretzel to Ronan, cooled. "You surprise me all the time." His voice was softer when he said this, not pitying or sad, just honest. It was a good thing. Without some of Ronan's spontaneity, Adam would live a very miserable existence.
Adam's attention drifted to the carousel, spotting a stag and a dragon looping around the ride. "I could still give you a boost though."
Ronan rolled his eyes but it was half-assed at best. His smile was too pleased and he kept sneaking little glances at Adam’s face. He wished he could ask for a charming anecdote in turn. He wished Adam Parrish’s parents weren’t garbage people. It wasn’t the first time he’d made that wish, but it was the first time with midway sounds all around them and Adam looking handsome in the flickering carnival light. Eventually, Ronan leaned over to press a kiss to Adam’s temple and scarfed down another pretzel.
“I’ll take a boost. But only if you promise to grab my ass,” he said sagely. Another pretzel got polished off in short order and he held out the last one to Adam. “Please take this from me. I can’t be fucking trusted with these things and I already feel like the potential for hurling is climbing.”
The smile on Adam's face grew tenfold, but he was trying to hold it in. Stupid inoncesquential things like Ronan making a comment about grabbing his ass and kissing his temple made Adam's whole chest swell with happiness. Maybe he was the predictable one. Adam was okay with that, and shined at Ronan, eyes bright, appearing far more pleased that the moment provided. His unconditional love for Ronan looked good on him.
He did make sure to squeeze Ronan's ass as he pushed him toward the carousel, tucking away the pretzels in his deep back pockets for later when hunger replaced the hurling.
"Are you sure you should be voluntarily climbing onto a ride that spins?" Adam asked, taking Ronan's hand again as they stepped up into another line. It was a rhetorical question; Adam knew the answer, but he felt the need to bring it up for the lack of supervision they had at the festival.
He was focusing maybe too hard on the animals spinning around before he admitted, "I've never been on one." He tried to look nonchalant about it, but his cheeks flushed with that unintentional embarrassment that he absolutely ignored. "I know what they do, and I've seen literally every iteration of one in movies, but I've never—should I stick with the classic horse for my first time?"
“I can handle it,” Ronan grumbled. It was stupid how Adam taking his hand unprompted made him feel. Like being high as shit but also hyper aware. He didn’t look at his boyfriend, just clenched his fingers snuggly between Adam’s and stared at the ferris wheel. That was until what Adam said caught up with him and he unintentionally squeezed a little harder on Adam’s hand.
He had to take a second so the words didn’t come out choked with the unnameable coil of emotions in his chest.
“You should pick your fucking favorite. If that’s a horse, then it’s a horse.” The line scooted forward and they were being led up onto the carousel. Ronan didn’t let go of Adam’s hand even though he knew he’d have to soon. “What’s it gonna be, Parrish? Kinda think the fox suits you.”
Adam squeezed Ronan's hand back in acknowledgement, in thanks, in that wordless little way they communicated through touch. Sometimes it was easier to put emotions into actions rather than words, and so Adam took each piece of contact steadily and unhurried, lingering in the comfort that Ronan's closeness brought.
Without letting go, Adam slowly wove through the carousel menagerie, reviewing his options. It should be his favorite. But Adam didn't know what his favorite was. It was one of those innocuous questions that he never considered. And right now, Ronan was right. "I kind of think the fox does too," Adam replied, placing his hand on its harness, calling dibs before someone else did.
To his left, a massive blue tiger, which felt far more appropriate than the animal to his right: a small goat with a party hat. Adam gestured between the two, assuming Ronan wanted to ride beside him and not behind him.
"What's it going to be, Lynch?" Adam asked, echoing Ronan's previous question. "You might not need a boost for the goat."
Ronan made a move to simply climb onto the back of Adam’s fox but an attendant squinted at him like she could fucking read minds. He snarled at her but ultimately blew a breath out of his nose and gestured at the goat. He was way too damn tall for it.
“I can’t pass up this stupid goat, man. Matthew would find out somehow and frown at me for the rest of our lives.” He laughed and hipchecked Adam as he squeezed between the animals to get to the goat. “You can still grab my ass as I get on, if you’re feeling the urge.”
A parent helping his son climb onto an elephant swiveled to glare at Ronan but he was too busy smiling at Adam to notice. He reached over to pat the fox’s back. “I should be helping you, though. First timer,” he added in a suggestive whisper.
"I can picture Matthew's face now, and—" Adam whistled low, and shook his head. "Not worth it." While it was tempting to grab for Ronan again, Adam simply huffed out a quick, breathy laugh and hoisted himself over the fox. He dutifully wrapped the rough, worn-in straps around his waist, and hooked his feet into the stirrups. For his first time, Adam wanted to do it right, even if he looked a little dorky.
"You just want to grab my ass," Adam said, watching—appreciating—Ronan getting onto the goat. Adam's anticipation was turning into adrenaline, and unexpectedly starting to make Adam anxious, excited. Was it silly? Maybe. But with Ronan, his feelings never felt stupid or something he needed to ignore.
The tinny bell buzzed, and the ride started to move. A slow undulation, up and down, around and around. Adam reached across the space and knotted their fingers together, smiling because Ronan was definitely too tall to be on the goat.
His brows knitted together suddenly, a flash of concern, before he shouted over the music, "I definitely just realized I sat on the pretzels."
As a testament to how much Ronan loved the nerd next to him, he didn’t tease him about the straps. Really, he watched him with a ridiculous level of tenderness considering the stupid activity they were doing. He shook it off quickly enough and put the strap on too, just so Adam wouldn’t feel like the only doofus on the ride. He almost wished he’d insisted on reconnecting with the rest of the gang before this, but Matthew would probably want to come back this way anyway.
It didn’t mind getting this first ride all to himself.
“I did want to grab your ass. No just about it.” An adult muttered about them both a few rows of animals behind them. He focused on the undulating animals in front of them, and on teasing the shit out of Adam. “I’m glad I didn’t though since, apparently I would’ve saved you from butt pretzels and that would’ve been a damn shame.”
Ronan slid a glance Adam’s way and reached across to dig out a crushed pretzel and gestured forward with it. “Just keep your eyes on the road,” he smirked. “I’ve got your back.”