tim
I obviously don't know what that feels like, or can really understand, and I know I sound like such a bullshit platitude right now but there are resources. There's a group that gets together who are all from similar situations like yours. It might help?
I wish I could help more, or give you all the answers but I'm just as much in the dark as you are. But I would like to consider you a friend, so my door's always open for you.