Sabrina Spellman (pathofnight) wrote in valloic, @ 2020-07-22 07:13:00 |
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The show opens with the six Queens performing an opening number in pop-concert, girl-group fashion introducing themselves. They also welcome the audience to the performance ("Ex-Wives"). They address the crowd and tell them that this show will feature a competition, and whoever had the "biggest load of B.S." to deal with from the man who married them, Henry VIII, will be the lead singer of the group They perform in the order in which they were married to Henry. Catherine of Aragon starts off and recounts her marriage to Henry and later annulment, and almost being put into a nunnery when he began lusting after Anne Boleyn ("No Way").
Anne recounts her time as Queen with Henry and her eventual execution ("Don't Lose Ur Head"). Jane Seymour then announces it's her turn to recount what she put up with, but the other Queens mock her for not having as much to deal with as, in her words, she was "the only one he truly loved". Jane admits that while she may have been lucky for not having to suffer at his hand, she still stood by him throughout all his faults ("Heart of Stone").
The story then shifts as the Queens are suddenly turned into members of Hans Holbein's painting studio, talking about how they make the women he paints look beautiful for their portraits ("Haus of Holbein"). In a set-up parodying Tinder (or another similar dating site) they present three women: Christina of Denmark, Amalia of Cleves, and Anna of Cleves. He picks Anna.
Their union is ultimately ill-fated as he rejects Anna, and she pretends to make a big deal about how she is then forced to live in a beautiful palace in Richmond as a result, though she's not really complaining. She then boasts about her riches and how since she remained unmarried after her divorce, there is no man around to tell her what to do, meaning she is able to do anything she pleases ("Get Down"). After the Queens point out how Anna's life doesn't sound that difficult, Anna says "Oh, well, back to the palace".
Katherine Howard is next to go, recounts her life and the men who abused her, leading into her marriage to Henry as she breaks down, fully realizing the trauma she suffered from her relationships and how these "all-powerful men" led to her eventual beheading ("All You Wanna Do").
As the Queens continue to squabble about who should win the contest, a frustrated Catherine Parr puts a stop to it. Questioning the point of it all, she brings up the fact that they're remembered solely by their shared connection to Henry, not as individuals. When they refuse to listen, claiming she has no story to tell that involves Henry, Parr tells her story, and of the accomplishments she made independently of Henry ("I Don't Need Your Love").
The other Queens, realising that they've let themselves be defined by Henry for so long, stop the contest and declare that they don't need his love to feel validated as people ("I Don't Need Your Love (Remix)"). With only five minutes left in the show after the fact, they decide to use their remaining moments on stage to "rewrite" the stories they told and sing for themselves for a change, singing together as a group rather than as solo artists and writing their own happily ever after ("Six").