Keith was really glad Allura was here. It made him want to try to reach out to other people more, because Allura being here reminded him of how good people like her, or Shiro or Hunk were at that kind of thing. Keith … was not, but it was something he could work on here. He'd made a couple of friends? Yeah they were mostly Shiro's friends first, but he still talked to them, so he was pretty sure it could count. Plus he was just glad to see her and felt better having her there, and safe.
It just kind of brought up a lot. Like if she really was going to have to die, back home, or if they somehow managed to stop it but she didn't know. And what else happened there that they didn't know about. How many others of them didn't make it? Did they even save the universe and do what they set out to do? Allura seemed sure they did, but if she hadn't been there to see the very end, could they be sure?
It was a lot to think about. And if Keith was overthinking it, he was pretty sure that meant that Shiro was outright brooding over it. Keith might be the one piloting Black, but in his mind, Shiro was always their leader. He thought Shiro FELT the same way, even if he tried not to, which meant whatever happened back home, Shiro was going to shoulder the responsibility for it.
Keith probably couldn't stop him from doing that. But he could keep him from being alone while he did or getting too deep into it. So after an afternoon of not seeing Shiro Keith went to go get takeout from the Thai place he'd discovered he liked, bringing a bunch of it over to Shiro's, Kosmo ambling along beside him, occasionally teleporting away to inspect something he found interesting.
At Shiro's, he lifted a hand to knock only to look down as Kosmo vanished, hearing the wolf greeting Shiro with a whump of probably something enthusiastic and he sighed inwardly. "So … I was gonna knock but I probably don't have to?" he called through the door, trying the knob and then pushing the door tentatively open when it was unlocked. He smiled when he saw Kosmo, front paws planted on Shiro's shoulders where he sat on the couch, tail wagging hello before he hopped down again. "I brought food?" Keith said, holding up the bag.
Keith was right; Shiro was brooding. And when Shiro brooded, it generally involved work of some kind. In this case, actual paperwork. He’d been helping to cover for Sara during her adjustment and he had a decent little stack to catch up on. What better time than when his mind felt heavy with things out of his control. It helped, a little. It distracted anyway.
Kosmo knocking him back against the sofa helped more. Even if he did send Shiro’s paperwork and tablet spinning off the coffee table with a surprised shout from Shiro, Kosmo’s arrival always meant Keith wouldn’t be far behind and that alone made Shiro sit up straighter and push his rarely worn glasses up his nose. They only came out when he was tired and too much reading threatened to leave him with a pounding headache.
“Food and a fuzzball,” he smiled, giving Kosmo a scratch on the head before the wolf leapt off him. “You’re always welcome. And that...actually smells fantastic. I might have forgotten to eat.”
Keith smiled, swatting lightly at Kosmo's shoulder as he brushed by and then bending to pick up the papers and tablet where he'd knocked them off, putting them down next to the bag of food, then going into the kitchen to retrieve plates and stuff.
He came back, handing them off to Shiro. "The curry puffs are really good. So's the coconut rice." He took in the glasses. Shiro didn't have them on unless he'd been at stuff for a while, usually. "What were you working on?" he asked. "Must be important if you forgot to eat." It probably wasn't important enough for that, but Keith didn't really SAY that. Just sort of hoped Shiro would admit it.
Shiro’s expression warmed further as he watched Keith move easily around his apartment. There was a time when Keith wouldn’t have felt this comfortable in any place that wasn’t his own and it meant a lot to see it. Especially here. Shiro took the offered plates with a grateful little smile and scooted forward on the sofa to set them out on the coffee table and began digging through the bags of food.
“It was, well, it wasn’t that important. Just some catch up work,” he admitted, slightly sheepish. “I just needed to be doing something useful. Something I can control.” He glanced over at Keith and gestured to the seat beside him. “You know what I mean?”
The truth was, Keith was rarely comfortable in spaces that weren't his own ... or even his own, sometimes, since he didn't always feel like his own. But more and more, here especially where it'd been just them for a while, he was just at home around Shiro. He knew how the apartment was set up, where he kept stuff, and he just didn't think before doing something. He didn't realize he was doing it or he might have worried about it. But Shiro wasn't concerned, so Keith didn't think to be.
He made a little umm hmm noise. Which maybe sounded slightly like I thought so, somehow. "You should still eat," he said. "You can control eating, too."
But yeah. He got what Shiro meant. He kind of wished Shiro was sitting a little closer, so Keith could plausibly lean into him for the contact without looking like he'd moved to do it. It was just too ... present. The idea of a future that might or might not turn out the way they wanted it to - but if Allura was right, at least one major part went very, very wrong. "There's people here from the same world who remember different stuff. So what happened - maybe it won't when we go back."
With an affectionate little eyeroll at being chastised, Shiro reached for a pair of chopsticks and the container that held Pad See Eiw. He scooped some out onto his plate before holding out the container to Keith, going so far as to tap the back of his hand against Keith’s chest. The touch wasn’t necessary but he felt like he was having a harder time resisting that lately.
“You should eat too.” He lifted an eyebrow and looked back to his own plate. “Not that I don’t appreciate your input. Because I do…” A speech about how much he valued Keith could’ve easily come spilling out of him in that moment, so he stuffed his face full of noodles instead, mumbling around them. “I mean, trust you to think we can defeat death. If anyone can manage it, it’s you.”
"I brought it over, I'm definitely going to eat it," Keith said, smiling as he was tapped and taking the container, doling out some for himself before setting it aside, then nabbing some of the puffs for himself too, and a spring roll.
He made a face, a lot less sure of that then Shiro was. If they managed to stop it, it was because of all of them, not Keith. He was part of something important, but he wasn't any more important than any other part. "But we've all thought we were going to die at least a couple of times and then we didn't." Or not in a way that stuck, anyway. "So maybe she just didn't see that second after, when we figured out how to save everyone else AND her." Keith went quiet a minute, nibbling through food, dangling a noodle for Kosmo to slurp up.
“Maybe,” Shiro agreed. He didn’t sound convinced and he ate quietly for a moment while he rolled the thought around in his head. “But it’s Allura,” he finally shrugged. “She’s smart. She’s sensible and determined. If she says she had to sacrifice herself for the plan to work…”
He swallowed dryly. Helplessness always stung, but especially so when it involved the people he cared about most. Shiro blew out a breath and tried to smile over at Keith.“Still, you’re right. There’s always a chance.” He stared a little too long before forcing himself to stand and step towards the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”
"I know," Keith said, quiet too. "She's good. So she'd ... volunteer to do something like that. But even if she was ready to do it, we wouldn't want to just let her. So we probably kept trying to figure something out. Coran, Pidge, Hunk, you."
He picked at his food for a moment. "I don't know - maybe she's right too. I'm not trying to say she's wrong. Allura knows a lot more than I'm ever going to. But I'd want her to be. It'd be ... it'd suck to win but still lose."
It was an inadequate way to say it, but it was all Keith had. He looked up from his plate to catch Shiro staring and his eyebrows lifted a little in question, cheeks heating for no real reason. "Uh, sure. Whatever's fine," he answered.
Shiro spoke from the kitchen, while he was opening the fridge. “It would very much suck to win and still lose,” he agreed, not even bothering to pretty it up with more diplomatic language. It wouldn’t necessarily be new to them, though. There was often a trade off. He just hoped, this once, that they could beat the scales and keep all of the paladins alive and well. “I’m going to hold on to your way of looking at it. We’ve beaten terrible odds before. We can do it again.”
He returned to the living room quickly and placed a bottle of water and a small container of banana milk next to Keith’s plate. “I spotted that at the store the other day,” he gestured at the milk. “I remembered how you used to sneakily guzzle yours.”
There was always a trade off. They'd lost Shiro once, Pidge had lost chances to find Matt earlier. There was always something bad to balance out the good. Keith just ... wanted to hope it didn't end like that. And if it had to, it seemed extra unfair for it to end that way for Allura, who had been the most steadfast of them and who had already lost all of her people and her time and so much else. Keith didn't even know if he believed his own way of looking at it. He just wanted to. The alternative was too grim. "It's kind of weird having me be the optimist. That's your job."
Keith couldn't help but turn red when the banana milk got plopped down in front of him. It was one of those things he'd always had as a little kid, before he'd lost his dad, and loved, and then never had much after that. He remembered Shiro getting it for him that first time and trying not to let on that he liked it, because Keith hadn't trusted him yet. Keith hadn't trusted anyone, then. Now though he just smiled, still pink-cheeked. "Yeah ... I didn't want to let you know," he admitted with a laugh, picking it up and opening it, taking a sip. It was thick and had the faintly chemical sweetness he remembered. He still kind of loved it. "Thanks," he said. It didn't really go that well with Thai, but Keith didn't care. "Can't believe you remembered that."
“You say weird, I say wonderful. But you can take a break if it’s tiring you out.” Shiro sank back down into his seat and took a drink from his own bottle, smirking at Keith as he did. The nostalgia was much better than worrying about a future he couldn’t imagine or predict. Even if it did make him shoot an embarrassed glance up to the ceiling and rub at the back of his neck.
“I guess remembering that drink is a little weird though. In my defense, the bottle was memorable. And...well, you’ve always been memorable too.” He set his water bottle to the side and reclaimed his chopsticks and plate. Back to the stuffing his mouth plan since clearly he was determined to embarrass himself today.
Keith rolled his eyes, but he laughed too, quietly. "It is kind of tiring. I'll go back to being crabby for a while."
He shook his head. "It's not weird. Or if it is, it's just ... nice weird." That kind of thing was part of why Shiro won Keith over. He'd just cared, and noticed things about Keith when no one else did, and hadn't since he'd lost the last of his family. It had meant a lot to Keith once he'd let himself trust it. Keith didn't know what about memorable made his face heat up again, but it did, and he ducked his chin, still smiling, sipping his milk. "I still really like it," he confessed.
“Nice weird.” Shiro huffed a laugh. “Well…good. I’m glad.” It was a relief to know he hadn’t made Keith uncomfortable. Sneaking a glance at him now, Shiro thought he could even see a bit of a flush in his cheeks. Reading into that seemed like a very bad idea, but Shiro couldn’t help the little sliver of hope that wedged behind his ribs.
A smile twisted slowly across his mouth and he reached over to steal a mouthful off of Keith’s plate with his chopsticks. He spoke around it as he chewed. “My master plan to distract you is working even better than I hoped.”
Keith smirked and shrugged. "Shiro ... we're all weird. I'm half alien, Allura's an alien princess. The wolf teleports, Pidge can figure out how anything on EVERY planet works but forget to put her shirt on right side out ... remembering banana milk isn't even that weird." He gave Shiro a sideways look, just missing the one Shiro sent at him. "People didn't really care what I liked, after my dad. I guess I'm just glad you did. That you do, still."
"Hey!" he complained, making a face at Shiro and tilting his plate away - but not far enough to either dump it or actually move it out of Shiro's reach. "How did you have a masterplan when you couldn't remember to eat?" he asked.
Shiro barked out a laugh. Even the glowing energy of his arm seemed to brighten for a second - a reflection of his joy sparking his heart rate - and then it faded back to normal. He pretended to look thoughtful, curling his fingers around his chin.
“You make some very good points,” he said. The teasing tone fell away quickly and his smile turned soft and fond. “For the record, I like our weird. I think it’s part of why we worked so well. Why we found each other and why the lions chose us.” He paused, overwhelmed for a brief second with the memory of Black’s faith in him and how it had felt to lead Voltron. His smile only flickered before it strengthened. “Thanks for coming by, Keith. I didn’t realize how much I needed it.”
Keith really loved when Shiro laughed like that. He smiled and was encouraging and all of that pretty often, but that big kind of laugh - it was rare, and Keith always got a rush when he was there for it - more of one when he was the cause of it.
He snorted, eyes rolling at the teasing, and how quickly it turned back into sincerity. Shiro couldn't help but be like that. Keith remembered being young and angry and how it had irritated him then. He wondered when it had turned into something that just made him feel warm and fond, exactly. He couldn't remember when it changed. "Maybe. Or maybe they just really needed people who looked good in their colors," Keith said, flippant just to tease back, since he'd seen that slight flicker, and he wanted to keep the laugh in Shiro's voice. "Blue could have kept shopping, first round," he added. Because Lance was his friend and his brother and Keith would die for him. But they would probably pick at each other until the day they died.
He smiled at Shiro, shrugging. "I did too, I think. It'll be nice, right - having Allura here with us? It won't be like back home, and it's still not all of us … but at least it's one more of us?"
Shiro snorted and leaned into Keith’s shoulder. “It’s not very sportsmanlike to trash talk him when he isn’t here to turn purple and shove you towards a sparring mat,” he smirked. He knew exactly how far Keith and Lance had come as teammates and he was proud of them both. He sounded proud too, but it was his default with those closest to him.“Anyway you can’t fool me. I know you know exactly how good your team is together. All of them.”
Taking a distracted bite of his dinner, Shiro hummed and nodded. “You’re right about Allura though. It’s not the same as having us altogether but if there’s any chance she’s right…” He frowned. “...I’m deeply grateful Allura is here now.” The cloud over his expression cleared and he squared his shoulders. “We’ll figure out the rest as we go. Like we always do.”
Keith took the opportunity of Shiro leaning against him to lean back, slouching into him on the sofa a bit. Keith wasn't really good at the physical touch thing with most people. He didn't know how to initiate a squeeze to the shoulder or a clasp of the hand or a hug and have it not be weird. But with Shiro he'd learned to accept it and be comfortable in it. Shiro made him feel safe, and more himself.
Kind of also made him want to smack him upside the head when he said your team though. "OUR team," Keith said, quiet but firm. It didn't matter if he flew Black now and if things were different. Shiro was still one of them. They weren't whole without him. Keith was really sure of that after how long they HAD been without him.
"Yeah." Better here than ... not anywhere. Keith grunted a little when Shiro's squaring shoulders jostled him out of slouching comfort. "You ever wonder what happens if we don't go back? The people who got older here instead of young - they said they lived their whole lives here."
Keith’s correction earned him a chastised smile and an appreciative glance. It was hard not to feel disconnected from Voltron these days, but that was never because the Paladins treated him as such. Especially not Keith. Shiro set his food aside to sink back into the sofa alongside Keith. It was a good question. He wanted to give it his undivided attention.
“I’ve thought about it, sure. I’d probably need to find a new dream, for starters. Space exploration doesn’t seem like much of a priority here.” He didn’t want to think about what it might mean for people at home right now. Better to believe their lives went on as normal at home and that this was a pocket dimension they lived in simultaneously. “Maybe I could teach.” He chewed on his lip and looked over at Keith. “What would you do if you knew you were here to stay?”
Keith tipped his head back against the back of the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. "Yeah. I don't think we could build a space program on our own without Pidge and Hunk around." Maybe Allura could figure it out - but there wasn't a lot of call for it. Keith missed flying, but there were people who flew here anyway. Or used magic or had some other kind of power to get around. Not to mention stuff just showed up through the waypoints. There was so much mystery down here, Keith didn't know if trying to find more in space and other worlds was something Vallo needed, even if they could figure it out.
He still missed the lions though.
"You'd be a good teacher," he said. He thought about it too. "I don't know," Keith admitted. "I didn't think I'd end up anything really, as a kid. Then I wanted to fly. Now ... I don't know yet? I like it as it is. Patrol and hang out. But maybe ... learn something new? Try something new, too? I just don't know what." He smiled a little, shrugging the shoulder that wasn't budged up against Shiro's. "Kind of a dumb answer, I guess."
Shiro took the opportunity to enjoy Keith’s profile as he focused on the ceiling. The scar he’d left on Keith’s jaw drew his eye but he managed not to let the guilt surface. Instead, there was just the simmering desire to reach over and press his mouth to that mark in apology.
Thankfully, he snapped out of his haze in time to actually comprehend Keith’s words. “That’s not a dumb answer at all. Learning something new is always a good idea. You could try animal handling?” Shiro smiled. Kosmo apparently took that as a cue to blink out of existence across the room and reappear in Keith’s lap. He licked Keith’s face and then went for Shiro’s hands. Shiro laughed and made sure to hold a hand out between the wolf and their food on the table.
“Might be a great time to start on that actually, if you’re interested,” he teased.
Keith felt Shiro's eyes on him, but didn't really look at him. And was saved answering by a couple hundred pounds of alien wolf suddenly plopping on top of him.
Keith made a strangled noise. "Dumb mutt," he accused Kosmo, who just licked at first his face, and then Shiro's. He gave Shiro a reproachful look for blockading him from the food and then managed to sprawl across both of their laps instead. Somehow, he seemed heavier that way. Keith wondered if he could manipulate gravity along with teleporting. He tugged lightly at a wagging tail. "Yeah, animal training here I come," he said, pretend irritation giving way to a laugh as he tried to dump Kosmo off his lap and Kosmo just shimmered and reappeared, still in their laps but now facing the other way so Shiro had the tail end.