InsaneJournal

Carol wrapped her arms around Kamala’s shoulders and gently squeezed as they walked out of The Underground after Fight Club. She rarely attended matches, even in the beginning of her time in Vallo, but tonight’s had turned out to be unmissable. Not only had the club’s owners gone vicious, outing them as very not themselves, but even prior to that, it had been Kamala’s very first fight club.

Whether she could say for sure Kamala had done this as a distraction from the pain of missing Peter was up in the air. She suspected that played a part – Peter’s loss was fresh, and it had been amidst a lot of tough ones for their crowd lately. His, in particular, had been hard for Wanda and Kamala, two of the people she loved most in this world.

It wasn’t easy, but it was Vallo. And it had come to be accepted that in Vallo, these things often happened without any rhyme or reason at all.

None of that mattered, though – Ms. Marvel’s First Fight Club took precedence here. It was easy to see she’d gone in there with expectations. Kamala had been training with Natasha and Carol herself for a year now, and she was good. She was smart, held her own, and even Carol was occasionally jealous of how smoothly she could wield her body. So, going down in round one had been tough for her; that was visible even from the tables around the ring, where Carol waited with Natasha, Emme, and briefly, Kate, who’d lost her first round, too.

They’d stayed long enough for a meal, at Carol’s insistence, while she tried to cheer her mini-hero up. She’d done great, but she was still young, learning, and going up against someone with much more experience. She had been peppered with all those encouraging words throughout their meal, placating but true. It still didn’t seem to be enough.

“Hey, I’m so proud of you,” Carol told her sincerely now, guiding her down the street, that protective arm never leaving her shoulders. “You did great tonight, and you’re going to do even better next time, promise.”

Kamala’s arm automatically came up and circled Carol around her waist. She had let her guide her around the entire time after the fight, didn’t put up an argument when they decided to stay, and nodded simply to the words that she spoke to her. Were they helping? Honestly, she couldn’t really tell. She was grateful she was around, of course, but then there was a voice in the back of her head that asked ‘Till how long though?’

The fight was a good distraction at least. Until she got out of the first round, feeling far more disappointed about it than she had expected. But she really did not want to let that show.

“Thanks,” she said, giving a nod. “I’ll try harder next time. Keep training with Natasha.” Unless Natasha suddenly disappeared too.

“Me too, I get you sometimes,” Carol teased lightly. She could still feel that funk around Kamala, and she wanted to keep her spirits up, at least a little. She knew how much it could hurt to take a loss like that, and it wasn’t a feeling even she had ever learned to fully shake. She was teased about her ego needing to be checked for good reason.

“You want to tell me what’s on your mind? Or do you wanna just go home and watch some Lord of the Rings?”

Kamala immediately clenched her jaw for a moment. She hadn’t even watched Lord of the Rings for a while and she was pretty sure the last time she had discussed anything remotely to do with it, it had been during their D&D sessions when she had Peter tag along. Which had been DMed by Eddie. Who was also gone. So was Dustin.

“I’m not in the mood for it right now,” she said, which would have surprised anyone, and she knew it would likely surprise Carol but she didn’t have the energy. “Maybe we can… watch something else. Some Disney movie. Coco, maybe?” Because a sad movie was a great idea right now.

The surprise was clear in the raise of Carol’s eyebrows. She had never known Kamala to turn down the opportunity to watch Lord of the Rings. It had been her first suggestion when Marlene had disappeared and Carol had appointed her movie picker for Emmeline. While that hadn’t been the ideal choice for her wife, Carol knew it was Kamala’s go-to feel-good movie.

And Coco, while moving and a good watch, was more of a tearjerker. It wasn’t what Carol would have picked to cheer her up, but if it was what she wanted, then she wasn’t going to fight it. She would stay right there beside her, no matter what she chose.

“Sure. Just you and me?”

“Yeah!” It came out to be more cheerful than she expected, and she wasn’t sure if Carol would take it as false cheer or genuine. Hell, Kamala couldn’t tell anymore. But at least she wasn’t being questioned and asked if everything was okay right now. She didn’t want that, at least not right now.

And, when they watched the movie and Kamala let herself have a good cry, Carol would just hold her and that’s it. That’s what she hoped for, at least. Carol was never the type to push her for answers, always gave her her space.

Kamala suddenly squeezed her tighter, like she was afraid she was going to disappear right there and then too. “What do you think I could have done better? With today’s fight, I mean?”

The sudden burst of cheerfulness was another surprise – this one was a good one. It was a shift back toward the girl Carol knew, always brimming with positivity. She liked hearing that after a tough couple of weeks, when cheer and positivity were understandably hard to reach. The loss she’d been dealt was immense, and Carol was doing her best to support her in processing it her own way.

“I think,” she began, clutching Kamala back just as tightly, cheek brushing against her hair, “that you were amazing. You were ready, you were smart, but sometimes, you’re just outmatched and it’s hard to get around that. You only have a finite amount of time in these fights. I don’t want you criticizing yourself right now. Alright?”

Kamala scrunched up her nose. “But, constructive criticism isn’t bad. Aren’t you supposed to be getting those to help improve and all?”

And she wanted to improve. This event, her very first one, had filled her with a type of adrenaline that she hadn’t experienced in a while, and it had been an awesome distraction. She most definitely intended to go back next month and train again with Natasha as soon as she could. Well… maybe after a day. She was starting to feel a bit of soreness since the hype had started to cool down.

“How about we go over my thoughts when we get back to training? You’re gonna take a day or two to recover before you start up again, though. No negotiating.”

Fight Club was intense. Sure, Natasha wasn’t one to hold back, and Carol had worked with Kamala, both powered and unpowered, but it was different. There was no level of familiarity between Kamala and her opponent here. There was no coaching through the difficult aspects. She had to hold her own, and Carol stood by her doing well, despite the loss.

“Alright, fair,” she said, rolling a shoulder as she said it, trying to unstiffen it. “I think I could probably use a hot bath actually, because damn, that was rough.” A hot bath, cozy pajamas, and then curling up next to Carol with Coco playing. She didn’t expect it but the thought lifted up her mood just a smidge.

“You never did any of these fights?”

“Twice,” Carol told her, releasing her so they could keep walking. Emme had surely beaten them home by now, but she’d elected to walk with Kamala, to give her a chance to vent any frustrations if she wanted. “The first couple months I was here. Got knocked out both times in my first round, too. I was mad.”

And her ego had smarted both times it happened. She was a cosmic-powered wrecking ball, but in the ring, she felt like she’d lost her touch. It was why she hadn’t gone back. She couldn’t even remember who she’d been up against now, but she remembered the anger that accompanied the loss each time.

“But you’re better than me.”

Kamala stopped walking. “Wait, I’m sorry,” she said with an incredulous laugh. “You got knocked out? You?!” The great freaking Captain Marvel. Not that Kamala thought she was flawless – well, once upon a time, she did but that was before she actually properly got to meet her hero. The flaws didn’t ruin the image for her so much as humanize her and make Kamala feel so much more comfortable around her.

She shook her head. “Nope, no. I’m not better than you! I’m just not as mad probably.”

Carol smiled as she met Kamala’s gaze. She loved the way Kamala thought about her. She loved that she saw the very best in her – even if, at times, it was to the point of romanticism. That part had gotten better, though; she still remembered the first few days Kamala had been here, when she could barely look at her and speak at the same time.

“And that is exactly why you’re better than me, Ms. Marvel.” Her arm slipped off the young woman’s shoulders, and instead, her hands framed her face. “I am so proud of you.” The words were an echo from earlier but perhaps more firm this time around as she studied Kamala with aching tenderness. “And I’m happy you’re better than me. I wish I had grace and patience like you do.”

Kamala gave her smile. A genuine one. One that probably had her cheeks squeezing up against Carol’s hands, making her look like a chipmunk or something, but she didn’t care. “You clearly have not seen me sit in class, staring at the clock until it’s time to leave said class, and then scrambling to get out of the seat.”

She moved her face away but only so she could reach for her and hook their arms together as they continued the walk back home. “Thankfully, that’s not every class! Just one or two. Don’t worry, my grades are good.”

“They better be,” Carol joked, squeezing her arm as they continued their walk. She wasn’t worried. School may not be Kamala’s favorite thing, but she had actively chosen to continue on with college classes. She trusted her to keep her grades up.

She could make out the familiar shape of a Waypoint not far from them, but she nudged Kamala’s shoulder. “Waypoint the rest of the way home or fly?”

Kamala didn’t have to show Carol her grades to prove herself. She knew she would be believed. She wasn’t an A+ student (that was Bruno’s post), but Bs weren’t so terrible (though her parents might disagree). Plus, maybe the need for distractions would make her do better around this time.

She also spotted the Waypoint, but Carol bringing up flying made her smile. “Fly,” she said with no hesitation. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has,” Carol chuckled. “Let’s get you home and ready for that movie.” She shifted to wrap Kamala up in her arms again, making sure she was secure enough to lift off with her. “Hold on tight, Ms. Marvel.”

From there, it was just a matter of surging upward. Within seconds, they’d be little more than a golden glow to the street goers below.