WHAT: An honest talk about lifespans and what to do WHERE: L-Corp Penthouse WHEN: Tonight WARNINGS: Some angst, talk of demons STATUS: Complete ART CREDIT:Here
Now that Kara had talked this whole demon pact situation out with Catra, she had a game plan. She was going to go to Lena, tell her what she’d learned from the future, and work out an alternate plan, whatever it may be. There would be no need to make dicey deals with demons that could only spell trouble at some point; they would be together in this, like they were in every other aspect of their lives.
Yep. That was the right way. It had to be the right way.
Because, honestly? She couldn’t bear to think of not being together on something so important. She and Lena had kept secrets from each other before, and it had turned out badly. So badly. Tragically, near world-endingly badly. She never wanted to come to that again, no matter how well-meant their intentions may be. She had to believe she’d been given a true answer to do something about it.
So, that’s what led her to tonight. To now. All ready for bed in a blue tank top, flannel pajama bottoms, and ridiculous fuzzy neon pink socks. Lena was still seated at her vanity mirror, putting on the last of the bedtime creams and lotions she used, and Kara sat on the edge of the bed, the only unclaimed space she could find.
The pets had taken over the majority of the bed – a fluffy white cloud and a fluffy black cloud, respectively. There was distance between them, Mermista’s paw stretched out to keep Krypto exactly at her arm’s length. She actually seemed to have taken to him well, especially now that he was outfitted with a red sun emitter in his collar to keep his powers dampened. Kara turned the emitter off occasionally to train him, but it was safer to keep it on, especially at night.
“Lenaaaa,” she called out, dragging out her girlfriend’s name playfully. She crossed the room and slid her hands across smooth shoulders, leaning in to kiss into Lena’s neck. “We’re being pushed out by the pets. You gotta help me come take back our bed.”
“You let them in the bed,” was Lena’s retaliation to that, her own pajamas simple - a matching set of shorts and a button-top to fulfill her need to sometimes have her sleepwear coordinated. She didn’t mind them there, in all seriousness. Mermista could be a little annoying with her need to suffocate her by plopping right onto her chest, and Krypto hogged their leg space despite there being available spots for him to sprawl on.
It was oddly cozy, though. The mild discomfort of it all.
She piled her hair all onto one shoulder, exposing her neck to Kara more. “Now please kiss me again?”
Kara didn’t even try to protest; it was true, she had let the pets in. Lena had tried to keep them out, in their own beds and their own space, but Kara couldn’t bear hearing Krypto cry. It hadn’t taken long for her girlfriend to warm up to their companions, though. They weren’t always in the most comfortable positions, but sound sleep still came.
A soft chuckle escaped her as she kissed further into her girlfriend’s neck at her request. Her arms slid down to wrap around her waist and, ultimately, carry her to bed while her lips coasted along the line of her jaw. Krypto trotted to the bottom of the bed and flopped over and Mermista took over a good half of Lena’s pillow. Meanwhile, Kara dropped Lena playfully right in the center of the bed, then quickly crawled over top of her.
If this was any other night, she’d have banished the animals from the bed. But the mood would have to wait – not that it stopped her from taking Lena’s lips in a leisurely lingering kiss. She had already waited a while (weeks, it had been weeks), what could a few more minutes hurt?
Lena didn’t get the memo of waiting for the mood. Krypto and Mermista’s time on the bed was ticking down to zero if you asked her - but she’d give them a few more minutes of grace, fixated on the feeling of Kara’s mouth against hers. How she was a solid shield over her now, with a lot of bare skin for her hands to touch.
Covered skin didn’t escape her either. A hand slipped beneath the front of her tank top, fingers tracing the line of her abdominal muscles. Her girlfriend was a work of art, and Lena was appreciating her with touch. “Hi,” she breathed after the kiss broke. Her lips quirked into a wry smile. “This is a very crucial part of our night time routine, so thank you.”
“Mmm, you’re welcome,” Kara hummed, lifting her hands to card them gently through Lena’s hair, thumbs passing over her temples. She stayed like that, just admiring her girlfriend’s beautiful face, committing every bit of her to memory like she had millions of times before.
Most of her weight rested on her elbows and her knees, spread to bracket Lena’s hips, and she couldn’t say the temptation wasn’t there to just continue that night time routine. She had the woman she loved beneath her, irresistible, and yet she was expected to resist? Even the Girl of Steel’s willpower waned. But she knew she had to get all of this out – otherwise, resolution would never come.
“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” she murmured after a few moments, kissing the corner of Lena’s lips before gently drawing back. She offered a hand. “Sit up?”
Oh. Well. The mood was officially paused, then. That was fine, she could be patient - but she wouldn’t deny that the desire to talk made her nerves spike. Lena took that hand and sat up, pushing hair back behind her ears. Kara wasn’t in a somber mood or anything, not that she could tell.
Everything had been fine?
“I’m listening,” she hummed, reaching for Kara’s hand to hold again. “Prepare me first. Is this going to be a good conversation, or a potentially uncomfortable one?”
Kara made that awkward face that, while cute, was definitely part grimace, part smile. “Probably a little uncomfortable but hopefully it will end good?” she offered. She was really just guessing here, but she knew Lena. She liked to think she had a decent idea of how she’d react to this conversation and how she’d respond.
“So,” she said, “it’s about when Future Lena was here, after your birthday.” She settled down cross-legged and reached for Lena’s hands to hold, wanting to keep in contact. Part of her wanted to beat around the bush, but if there was one time in her life to be absolutely direct, this was it. She plowed onward before she could change her mind. “She made a pact with a demon so she could stop aging. Because I’m not aging, and Lori and Theo are going to have long lifespans, and she was trying to find a way to stop where she was so we could all still be together.”
Lena blinked.
She had no idea what to expect, but she wasn’t expecting that. Vallo had never messed around with her too much, and the presence of her future self was certainly a first. She hated having to miss time with the kids. She knew Kara had a good time, though she didn’t poke too hard when it came to trying to uncover the secrets of their future.
Making a demon pact wasn’t something even remotely on her radar. Nor was the aging issue, which crossed her mind a few times but she shelved it for another day, opting to focus on the now and their honeymoon phase bubble. It made sense, but–
“A deal with a demon is a terrible idea,” was her reply to that, eyebrows furrowed in offense. “How did you find this out?”
Kara couldn’t help but smile brightly at that particular response. She hadn’t expected Lena to be gung-ho and for it because, objectively, it was kind of a silly idea, something Catra had pointed out as well during their talk. She had expected Lena to be against it and insist she wouldn’t do it. What she hadn’t expected was for Lena to condemn it so vehemently. It was such a strange relief to hear that it was almost funny.
And it made sense. Lena-of-the-future had made that decision emotionally, desperate to find a way to stay with her family after decades of not really considering how it would all play out. Lena now, she wasn’t worried about it. She wasn’t scared. She could think about the situation more practically, and Kara felt genuinely glad for the first time that she’d brought this up to her.
“There were signs,” she explained, letting her smile fade into something a bit softer, “while she was here. She was talking to someone while I was out of the room, but there was no one talking back. And the lights on the vanity kept crackling. But I knew it wasn’t your magic right away. It didn’t feel right. So, I asked.”
Lena was ten times more comfortable with her magic than she was when she started the journey of diving deep into her witchcraft - but demonic activity wasn’t something she studied up on. She didn’t see the point unless a situation involved that sort of thing. The concept alone sounded moronic. Demonic deals? That was utterly stupid. Reckless.
Desperate, she realized.
“I’m not doing that,” she announced, completely decided, one hundred percent. “I’d like to imagine a fair amount of research went into that, but - no. I don’t like that.” Lena took her hands back to push her fingers through her hair. “I’ve always thought about you not aging, but it didn’t hit me about the kids until now. I understand the why. But the method is absolutely terrible, because what if that puts all of you in danger too?”
“I thought of that, too,” Kara agreed, letting her hands fall to rest on Lena’s knees. “She said she wasn’t going to get hurt. I assume she thought about the kids when she made the choice, but I admit I didn’t press her too hard.” The conversation topic wasn’t something Future Lena had wanted to engage in much, and Kara had wanted to enjoy their time together. If that meant putting aside an uncomfortable subject, she’d been willing to do that.
“I’m glad you’re not going to do it. That’s the last thing I want. But I think we should talk about what we do want because that… is a real hurtle we’re going to have to face in our future. Our lifespans,” she said tentatively. She hated to admit that, but they both knew it was true. She just hoped they could find the best way to handle it without turning it into a fixation; that was her biggest concern.
Lena needed a moment. She considered herself an adaptable creature – adaptability was needed for survival – and while she didn’t have an issue dropping softer moments for a more serious conversation, she didn’t expect the conversation to revolve around this particular topic.
She pinched the bridge of her nose, thinking. Prioritizing her family’s safety would have, should have been on the top of the list for her future self – right? Lena could admit that her decisions could sometimes be foolish when they were deeply rooted in emotion, but immortality (or lengthened lifespan, she did not want to live forever) was pointless if she put her family at risk.
“I mean,” she sighed, dropping her hand, “yes, I would like to experience something beyond a normal, human life span with you. I can understand there being a strain if I’m the only one aging. I think the reasonable thing for me to do is looking into a way to do this, safely, ahead of time? Did I just wait too long?”
Kara nodded. “It seemed like it, given the solution,” she offered. She liked to think if Lena had thought about this earlier, if she’d been more prepared, she wouldn’t have chosen to deal with demons. “Your future self did mention working with someone, too. She saw the pact as a temporary measure before she got too old.”
Lena cringed. The whole situation was very cringe-worthy. She assumed some magical variant of botox didn’t exist in Vallo to slow it all down. Extending the human life span was a common goal in the scientific community back on their Earth, a hush-hush sort of project among pharmaceutical companies. It was a complicated mess of ethics and investments, and not something she personally had a finger in it.
Now she wished she didn’t dismiss it so easily.
“There might be more magical solutions to this than scientific ones,” she thought out loud, sparing a glance at the tablet on her nightstand, the urge to drop down the rabbit hole of research and ignore her body’s need for rest a very strong one. “Did she give an idea of how long she’d been working to find a solution? Five years? Ten years?”
Kara shook her head. “Nothing, I’m sorry.” Lena had given her enough information to ascertain what she was doing, but she’d kept everything else very close to her chest. Which Kara expected; it was the peak of Lena behavior when she was getting into these sorts of things. Fine on the surface, but there was this layer just beneath that Kara had learned how to read – all body language, in the thready beat of her heart, signs she had ignored in favor her own narrative last time around.
“I have a suggestion,” she said. “And I think it might be easier to figure out than trying to lengthen human lifespans.” Might be was the operative part there – everything they came up with would be guesswork at best.
Nothing. Of course the details weren’t prodded for. Timelines were finicky things, and maybe her future self didn’t want to worry Kara further with her predicament - or maybe there were details, dangerous ones, she wanted to cover up. Lena found herself to be irate about it. At herself despite not being the version of herself that made that decision.
“I’m all ears,” Lena told her and gave into those impulses by reaching for her tablet and swiping it on. “I can make a list of possible routes for us to take.”
Lists were good. Lena liked lists. Organization was therapeutic.
The appearance of the tablet was obviously the next step. Kara expected that. She didn’t let it stop her, however, from pinching the sides of the tablet between her fingers and lowering it so she could see Lena’s eyes again. She wouldn’t begrudge her girlfriend taking notes if that worked for her, but she needed to see Lena’s face when she said what she said.
“I can give up my powers,” she said softly. “It’s possible. I don’t know how yet, but I know it’s possible.”
That was… what? “No,” Lena said after exactly two seconds of shock passed. That whole statement was a good enough reason for her to drop the tablet altogether, the device landing on her lap. She was staring at Kara as if she grew heads like a hydra. “I’m not going to ask you to do that. I know how much it means for you to be able to help people – I’m not going to let you give it up because of me.”
“Not now,” Kara told her, hoping that might be soothing. She wasn’t asking to go out tomorrow and find a way to yank her powers out of her. She doubted it would be that easy, but she wasn’t ready yet either. Her powers had been a part of her for so long – and they had helped shape her into the person she was, the hero she was, when she’d finally stepped out of the shadows to help people.
But she didn’t want Lena finding a way to live forever, not when it wasn’t something she’d ever envisioned before Kara. She was a human, meant to live the life of a human – an extraordinary, brilliant human because she was Lena but human nonetheless. Kara didn’t want to stand in the way of that, and she didn’t want to be here until, like she’d told Catra, Vallo’s sun burned out.
They needed to find a middle to solve this problem. If she removed her powers someday, she could spend the rest of her days with Lena, growing old with her. Would she still likely live a little longer? Probably. Kryptonians on average had a longer lifespan than Terrans because they had advanced beyond them in various ways. But it wouldn’t be centuries she lived missing Lena.
“I want a normal life with you. Or as close as we can get to it. And someday, that means… retiring, giving superheroing up. Why not go all the way?”
“Are you just doing this so I don’t make some stupid, experimental decision?”
What Kara said was sweet, god, don’t get her wrong. She was sure she meant it. Or wanted to be sure that she did, but this discussion was some sort of new relationship level that was unlocked. There was a lot about their future she looked forward to. Aging hadn’t been a factor. It should be, she supposed, if she wanted to stray away from the path her time variant walked down.
“This is the first time we’ve talked about this.” Lena sighed heavily. “And we’re having this because a future version of myself brought it to your attention. I don’t want you to make a decision for yourself if it’s only to keep me from being –” A moron? “– reckless.”
“I can’t say worrying about you isn’t a factor in suggesting this,” Kara told her with a small shrug, “because it is. I don’t want to see you getting in over your head or becoming obsessive to the point of no return over this when there’s no guarantee of a solution or an answer.”
It was a very, very big fear. They’d gained memories of a timeline where Lena had fallen so deep into her work that she’d neglected her family. They’d had repetitive arguments about the situation, but there had been unfortunately little that could be done to change that situation. They had time to change this one, and a solution that was, she hoped, more feasible.
“I want it for more than that, too,” she continued. “I want to grow old with you. I don’t want to watch you live a normal life then miss you for the rest of mine.”
The obsessive comment stung, but Kara wasn’t wrong. This was something she could see herself fixating on when the time came. Hell, she was tempted to fixate on it now to find an alternative solution that wasn’t making deals with questionable entities. Lena didn’t want to obsess. She tried to step away from work, she tried to give Kara and a life outside the office all her focus. She needed to for the kids that would come their way. Lena didn’t want distractions.
But she was willing to find a way in the end if it meant time with Kara. With Theo, with Lori. Kara giving up her powers hadn’t seemed like an option. It was still one she wasn’t sure of. Letting her do it seemed - selfish.
“If we’re supposed to get married down the line,” she began, throat tight and words a bit choked as she wiped right beneath her eye. No tears fell, but her eyes watered. “Make sure to include that in a vow, I suppose.”
Kara kissed her.
It was instinctive, a gentle push in to connect their lips while her hands lifted to cradle Lena’s face. This wasn’t an easy conversation, no matter how necessary it may be. No solution would be perfect, but they had time now. They had ideas. They were in this together, no longer doomed to live out a timeline where Lena made that pact and hid this immortality quest of hers from Kara in the process.
“I will,” she whispered, when the kiss broke, thumbs stroking across Lena’s cheeks. The urge to soothe was strong, though she was having much less luck in the tears department. “I’ll write a ten-page wedding vow essay for you.”
“Ten pages is excessive,” Lena laughed wetly, still no tears but the threat of it was clear. Bloodshot eyes, an unsteady voice. It was her turn for a kiss, desperate but short, and it gave her the focus she needed to hold them back. “I think – we should have a more in-depth conversation about this during the next few days. Weigh our options. Do some research on both sides.”
Something Kara could help her with, surely. She was capable of research. And maybe doing this with her would also help keep her accountable, and from falling too deep in the pit of questions.
“I agree.” Kara nodded, tilting her head up to drop the next kiss on Lena’s forehead. She wished she would just let the tears fall, but she knew better than to push. Her impossibly strong girl, doing everything she could to hold steady, wouldn’t be so easily swayed.
In the space of about fifteen seconds that followed, Kara kissed each of Lena’s cheeks and laid her gently down in the middle of their bed. The mood she’d stirred earlier had, appropriately, evaporated, but she wasn’t going to let that get in the way of her snuggles.
“Lights off,” she called out, the smart system immediately obeying. With darkness washing over them, she pressed her cheek to Lena’s and said, “We’re in this together now. Everything will be okay.”
Lena, for the most part, kept it together. The conversation was – sobering. Poured a bucket of ice-cold reality on them. Her relationship with Kara had endured so much already before it had taken a romantic turn, and she’d been enjoying the high they were on. They were together. Alex was okay. They had a future, a promising one, with a family.
To face the inevitable shadow of what’s to come with their lifespan had to happen, eventually. It was best it happened sooner than later – and that future version of herself was an example as to why. On her own, she would have stayed up and buried herself into what possibilities existed out there right now.
She wasn’t on her own, though. Kara was right - they were in this together. They’d figure it out.
With a deep, deep breath in, Lena nodded slowly. “Yes,” she agreed, and closed her eyes to focus on the feel of Kara’s skin and the breath in her ear. “I know. I believe it, when it comes to you.”