Dad
It's really terrifying, you're right. Change is scary, you know? Because what if I say something and he says he doesn't feel that way and suddenly I don't know how to be around him and we won't go on hikes or exploring anymore and I won't be able to text him all night or call him at 2AM about weird dreams or things on my mind and he'll just listen or he won't hold my hand or maybe he'll change his mind on his favorite energy drink and I won't know because everything is off.
And--okay. I know that's silly, I really do. I know that he cares about me as his friend and he's wonderful and great and such a really, really good guy and he'd be kind about it. It's just been sixteen years of this and I'm not sure I know what I'd do without this. You know?