WHAT: Edwin comes home to an unexpected surprise WHERE: Sutton Cottage WHEN: September 8th WARNINGS: Nah, just pining and happy reunions STATUS: Complete
So Nikolai knew without even the slightest bit of hesitation that Edwin Courcey wasn’t a surprise person. He knew this the way he knew that Edwin drank his tea with one spoonful of sugar and god-help-you if you added even a few crystals more. It wasn’t that he relished in disappointing the man, but Nikolai was a slave to his impulses, and he had just enough ego to assume that his arrival would probably outweigh the amount of trouble he would otherwise have gotten into for the shock.
It had been a strange few months. Having been jerked from his wonderful and much-loved new home of Vallo and deposited in some strange world in the stars where people flew spacecraft beneath the cold gaze of a horrific empire, Nikolai had done what he did best: adapted. He’d worked in a bar, albeit the strangest one he’d ever seen, and following a series of increasingly alcohol-fused decisions had even wound up with a spacecraft he didn’t know how to fly to call his own (he had learned to fly it eventually, of course, under duress. Nikolai didn’t know how to learn in a calm and nurturing environment). But now he was back, about to be reunited with his love that wasn’t a stick in the mud so much as an entire redwood forest, and he had plans to make it memorable.
Sutton Cottage welcomed him back, of course; the house was overjoyed and threw open the door and fluffed the curtains and managed to make the light have that warm and lovely quality of golden hour. Never mind that the sun was several hours from setting. And so Nikolai took his favorite chair near the front door and waited for Edwin to come home from the Library.
He grabbed a filthy book from the shelf to read while he waited. Symmetry.
Edwin would have liked nothing more than to fall into old habits these last few months. He would have liked, very much, to have just retreated to his old life: go to work, perhaps stop by a bookstore a couple times a week – not Chastity’s Book Nook, that had too many memories attached to it, though he’d started to become well-known at the bookstore near Marlene’s coffee shop – and then come home, eat whatever dinner the Cavendish had prepared that night, and spend the rest of the evening in front of a fire, reading.
But, of course, falling back into his old routine was all but impossible now. He had too many people who wouldn’t let him. Whether it was Robin, often swinging by with dinner after Nikolai had disappeared – and who now was staying in one of Sutton Cottages many rooms – or Darlington inviting Edwin to dinner parties and somehow talking him into actually, or Marlene inviting him to give Deci pets at her tea shop, or Gansey just being there to provide him with company. He and Lena had started working on some projects together, which helped, a little, to keep Nikolai’s loss from Edwin’s mind.
The most annoying part about all of it was that Edwin didn’t even mind. It had, in fact, gotten to the point where he couldn’t even spend a few days in the comfort of his own library without wanting to see someone else. Never in his life before Vallo had he ever considered the possibility that someday, he might not want to be alone. He hadn’t gotten over Nikolai’s loss – he had hardly smiled since Nikolai’s disappearance – but he’d kept himself busy and he’d somehow managed to keep ahold of the friends he’d managed to make.
And he had Gansey’s wedding to look forward to now. And he was looking forward to it, even as he was trying with all his might not to think about the fact that Darlington had once mentioned that the Edwin of the future had once had a husband too, and how Edwin had been half-convinced that it had been Nikolai, even if he hadn’t let himself ask for specifics. He was not about to wear some brightly coloured suit, he’d have been far too embarrassed, but he had picked out a nice colourful tie that would have made Robin proud, which was now sitting in his room.
He was late coming home from work since he’d spent some time in the bookshop choosing a wedding gift for Gansey and Blue: Elizabeth Bennet Brown’s Sonnets from the Portuguese.
When he entered the foyer, he hadn’t immediately looked around. He’d hung his jacket on the peg near the door, and loosened his tie. Slipped off his shoes and set them carefully away. And then he turned. He stared. The bag of books fell from nerveless fingers with a loud thunk. For one, awful moment, joy welled up in his chest and he took a step toward Nikolai. And then he quashed it hard, stopping mid-stride. It wasn’t real, he almost managed to convince himself. It couldn’t be real.
It seemed so real.
He opened his mouth to say something; no sound emerged.
“I’m no doppelganger, before you ask,” Nikolai said, book lowering as he took in the sight of his lover. It was probably a stupid thing to say, but it was the first thing that had come to his mind, and Edwin was absolutely the sort to launch into questions, wasn’t he? Everything was a lock to be opened to the man, and Nikolai had heard the DOA faculty mention that there had been lookalikes. “Not that anyone could be as handsome as me,” he added, because it was a very Nikolai thing to say, and he felt like protests would only go so far when Edwin was looking at him with the air of a feral cat in a corner.
He held his hands up and stood, taking a step toward him. “I know I was-- gone. For a long while. I was-- it doesn’t matter where I was, not now,” he muttered, irritated with himself as he closed the gap between them, gripped Edwin’s shoulders. “Vallo does what it wants, as always, but I’m here now,” he said. “And I’m so sorry I left.”
For the first time in his life, Edwin didn't have any questions. Oh, they would come later. There'd be a thousand of them. But every thought in his head other than this can't be true and I want so badly for this to be true had fled, from the moment he'd seen Nikolai sitting in front of him.
Could he have been a doppelganger? Edwin hadn't known how their magic had worked, only that they'd had the same memories as those they'd copied and we're indistinguishable by common or magical means, but could they have copied someone who wasn't even in the same universe anymore? Part of him wished he'd had more time to study them before they'd disappeared to wherever they'd come from.
And then Nikolai's hands were on his shoulders and Edwin found he didn't even care anymore. If he was being deceived, then he'd let himself be deceived, at least for now. He'd never liked being touched – hadn't been touched, not really, since Nikolai had disappeared two-and-a-half months ago – but he fell into Nikolai's arms, wrapping his own around him as though Nikolai might disappear again if he let go.
"I've missed you," he managed.
“And I you.” The words fell from Nikolai’s mouth with fervent ease; it was the sort of truth that couldn’t be restrained. Nor did he have any desire to do so. Nikolai wasn’t an open book by nature, although he typically gave the impression of affability, but being vulnerable had never been a worthy tactic during his time navigating the Lantsov royal halls. It wasn’t smart to pine for a home that didn’t exist back at the Cantina, either. People who scented desperation on you would have any number of false solutions to sell you. But here, in Sutton Cottage, which smelled of the garden outside, and with the warmth of Edwin against him, he allowed himself to just be… himself.
He pulled away slightly, and took Edwin’s measure. The other man looked much as he had been - save perhaps more stupefied than Nikolai had ever seen him. His eyes were tired. That much he recognized with a pang of guilt.
Edwin shifted, a little uneasily, under Nikolai’s scrutiny. He knew he didn’t quite measure up to how Nikolai had left him. His cheeks had taken on the gauntness that came when someone frequently got so caught up in his research that he forgot to eat; Robin had been good at stopping by frequently to bring him food and to remind him that eating and sleeping were important, but she’d only just recently moved into the cottage after her houseboat had sunk. He wished now he’d taken more care of himself, or at least of his appearance.
He didn’t miss the opportunity to take in Nikolai’s appearance either. It seemed to Edwin that it hadn’t been one of those cases where someone blinks and realises they’ve travelled months into the future, and not only because Nikolai had said that he’d missed Edwin too. He took hold of his vest, with the frown that preceded a thousand questions. “What are you wearing?” he asked, looking it over. “This isn’t from Ravka, is it? Did you not go back home?” He paused. “I suppose if you had, you wouldn’t have remembered me at all,” that had hurt, a little, knowing that he ached for Nikolai, but that Nikolai would be with his Queen with know knowledge at all of Edwin, “and so there’d be no cause for missing me.”
“I went to this strange other world,” Nikolai explained, and gave Edwin a tug so that they might both collapse together onto the settee. It would be easier, he thought, to describe the complete freakshow the last few months had been sitting down, and perhaps Edwin would lose some of that hunted expression when he realized that yes, this was real. “A city, in the stars, in some strange country. Aliens, humans, and people I don’t have words for.” It had been utterly, insanely foreign, even more so than Vallo had been. Nikolai was good at adapting, and so he had.
“But I remembered everything. Vallo,” Nikolai said. “Home. No more memories of home, either. No one knew anything about Vallo. It was likely one of the worlds people get pulled from, but I never met anyone that I knew from here.” His fingers had threaded themselves around Edwin’s, and he asked suddenly: “And you? Tell me of you. Are you well?” Was Robin here? Nikolai hated that he’d wondered - wondered every night, point of fact, working in that bar and watching a planet spin ‘round. “Please tell me it’s been four months here, too. I couldn’t survive if time wasn’t even and I’d aged prematurely.”
Nikolai hadn't yet farted in Edwin's face, which was really going a long way toward assuring him that Nikolai wasn't a doppleganger, but even still, he hesitated for just a moment before he allowed himself to be pulled down onto the settee. He wanted so badly to believe this was real, but wanting had never gone well for Edwin.
Except, sometimes, when it had.
"It has been," Edwin said. He lifted his free hand, hesitated, and then went for it, brushing Nikolai's hair with his fingertips. "Though, I don't think I'd complain even if you did come back to me significantly older. I suspect you'll be a… what was the term? A silver fox?" His lips pursed into what could have almost been taken for a smile.
It faded soon enough though, and he studied their twined hands. "I've been… well," he said hesitantly. He wondered if he should tell Nikolai that he spent most evenings in the library, either sleeping in one of the comfortable chairs by the fire or reading, because he hadn't been able to bring himself, just yet, to do anything with Nikolai's possessions and being surrounded by them was painful in a way that was only sometimes comforting. Perhaps not just yet. "Gansey and Darlington and Robin have all made sure I didn't just hermit myself away in the library after the initial couple of weeks, damn them all." There was more affection than heat in the expletive. "Robin's recently taken a room at the Cottage too, though I think that will be only temporary. Oh!" He sat up suddenly and turned to where the bag he'd dropped still lay on the ground. "Gansey and Blue are marrying tomorrow. Oh no, I hope I didn't damage the book."
He made to rise. Had he creased any pages when he'd so carelessly dropped the shopping bag?
Nikolai tossed his head back and laughed with his typical ease. “Silver fox I would be indeed,” he agreed, thinking of that Ravkan fable that had followed him throughout his life. Not too-clever, however. Just perhaps lucky. He listened closely, though, as Edwin gave him an update of several of the people in their lives. It felt so-- strange. Not unlike the time he’d gotten memories upon waking, and had to take a moment to reorient himself back into the present… but this was by far more enjoyable.
It was Edwin’s surprise that jolted him back to the presence. “Marrying?” he repeated, sitting up as he watched Edwin fumble over the bag. Then: “They’re marrying?” Oh, was his timing good or what? “Tell me you’ve got enough magical oomph to help me starch my slacks. Or I can always use an iron…” He paused. “Oh, I hope you RSVP’d with a plus one…”
Edwin examined the old book of poetry he’d found for the happy couple, and, sure that it was free from any damage, smiled up at Nikolai. It was… nice didn’t seem a strong enough word for it. Seeing Nikolai light up about the wedding removed a weight from Edwin’s heart. He felt as though he could breathe again when he hadn’t even realized he was suffocating.
“I did not.” And perhaps at one point he would have left it at that. The idea of asking for a last-minute plus one would have been enough to turn his insides to ice. “But I’m sure they won’t object if I ask for one now; I will call them later. You’ll have to starch and iron your own slacks though.” He placed the book on an end table reverentially. “I’m afraid I don’t know many domestic spells.”
He wondered if any of the books in Penhallic would have any spells to starch a pair of trousers, but for once, the thought of trawling through his library to find the exact book that he wanted didn’t pull him toward the library like an irresistible force. No, that irresistible force made him settle back on the couch, near enough to Nikolai that he was nearly on top of him. “You won’t burn a hole in them, will you?”
“That I can’t promise,” Nikolai said as he leaned forward to grab Edwin in a sort-of hug, pulling him amenably closer as Edwin settled in. “I never was one for domestic chores. Being a worthless waste of space royalty and all.” Such was the privilege of being even the spare prince; there was always a servant about to do the boring parts of domesticity for you.
“But,” he added with his usual buoyancy, “I’m quite confident that you don’t mind it when you catch a little glimpse of leg.”
Edwin had never cared much for being touched, but he’d never hated Nikolai’s touch. He’d craved it, the four months he was gone. Had wondered how he’d lived so long before without it. And so, not only did he let Nikolai pull him closer, he also draped his legs over Nikolai’s lap and settled in.
“Well, I don’t know many domestic spells, other than one for removing stains,” that, he’d asked one of the maids for when he’d been looking for ways to remove Robin’s curse, “but I’ve scorched hardly any trousers doing it the old fashioned way, and as much as I do love catching a glimpse of leg, I’m sure Blue and Gansey would rather their guests arrive with their clothing intact.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to embarrass you.” Nikolai grinned into the teasing, adding: “We’ll make it work. I’ll get an outfit sorted for the big day tomorrow. But first, instead of jumping straight into laundry, we could perhaps just enjoy the fact that - perhaps, this once - Vallo did something good for a change?”
He leaned his head against Edwin, taking a breath. Neither of them could likely help it, looking at the opportunity for a sweet reunion and then figure out a plan for it. Nikolai wanted to breathe in the moment, to be present in it, and all that woo-ish stuff. He wanted to be with Edwin.
He wasn’t good at slowing down. And Edwin’s overactive brain never quieted. But Nikolai didn’t mind being the one putting on the brakes, for a change.