InsaneJournal

Vax had woken, limbs tangled up in soft blankets and handsome sorcerer, neither of which were an out of the ordinary occurrence. He had helped make breakfast, then dropped off the kids at school as it was his turn to do so, then flew off to work because an attempt to stay home via "missing right shoe" from Velora had left him running later than normal. He sat through planning meetings, ate a quick lunch of tacos from the truck parked outside, then hung out with kids. The entire day had spoken of normalcy, of a routine that his life had fallen into that he had come to love in a way that, once upon a time, he never thought he'd be able to without dragons to slay and Vecnas to banish.

And yet, something was off and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. The day had felt normal, yet odd. There was no other word for it.

It was that general state of puzzlement that had brought Vax flying to Gilmore's shop at a purposefully later than in the day than he would normally visit. It was also that general state of puzzlement that was to blame for him not realizing that he had used his wings twice in one day until his feet had landed in front of the door with a unicorn sign hanging above it. He wasn't supposed to be able to do that.

Odd.

Shaking his head, Vax shouldered his way through the door. He usually liked to stop by when there were customers, letting himself be a charming nuisance so long as he could tell such distractions and silliness were welcome by his fiance and clientele that day. Tonight he had specifically come later on, hoping that the latter wouldn't be around and the interruption of Gilmore's evening wouldn't be too grand. Troubled though his mind may have been, though, it didn't stop Vax from leaning against the nearest counter. Even odd couldn''t keep him from indulging in his signature move of an inside joke as he waited to be inevitably noticed by the one man who had always seen him.

It never took long for Gilmore to notice when anyone entered the shop, by virtue of a few charms and enchantments strategically placed at the entrance and the windows. It took even less time to notice when Vax entered the shop, by virtue of having perpetual Vax-sense. He hoped it was one of those things that never changed, no matter how much time went by. In a whirl of silk robes and bangles clinking together–the reason Shaun could always be found himself, he wore far too many accessories to have anything resembling stealth, he paused at the beaded curtain doorway, one hand to his forehead. Perhaps it could be called a bit of a pose (alright, perhaps it could be called a lot of a pose). “A handsome adventurer graces my store, whatever could he want?”

He came around the counter, deftly missing Rodrigo who, although technically an unseen servant, gave as much of a sigh as a specter wearing a dapper vest could possibly give while trying to dust exactly where Vax was leaning.. “If it’s to ask for a discount, well, I suppose I could be persuaded with the right sort of currency.” Smiling, Gilmore cupped Vax’s face in his hands and kissed him in greeting. Vax’s appearances tended to be earlier in the day, late in the morning for a coffee break or at lunch, but this worked just as well, even if Shaun was about to close the store and head home anyway. He was never going to refuse an unexpected visit. “Hello, darling, how was your day? How long did the shoe debacle take?”

It was impossible not to smile at such a greeting from the man that he loved most, so Vax didn't bother trying to hide the one that bloomed across his face in the wake of the kiss and questions. He might have felt a bit unmoored at the moment, but there was no one better to settle him than Gilmore himself. It was why he had come here in the first place, after all.

Vax hummed in consideration, before letting out a scoff of a laugh. "Longer than it ought to have. She was trying to pull one over on me," he replied smoothly, giving up his leaning (all for Rodrigo's sake, surely) in favor for reaching up his arms so they could hook around Gilmore's neck and keep him in close for the moment. It was dual-purposed; the proximity was great in and of itself, but so was the ability to pull Gilmore down to steal a kiss in response to the first one.

There were many follow up questions or small talk topics that Vax knew he could use to prolong the inevitable--and he knew that Gilmore would likely allow him to do it, even if he sensed that something might have been up. It felt unfair, though, so instead he admitted, "My day has been--I don't know." Vax pulled away then, holding his arms out at his sides, as though putting himself on display. "Does anything about me look or feel out of the ordinary?" And then, because he thought it best to clarify, he added with a weak smirk, "This isn't me fishing for compliments, by the way. I'll take them, but it's a genuine question, I swear."

“Goodness, I can’t possibly imagine where she learned that from,” Gilmore drawled, and yet as dry as his tone was it was equally fond and affectionate. Vax and Vex had always been closer than close, practically sharing a soul, and their relationship had come from not just being siblings, not just twins, but at times, being all each other had. Vax's relationship with Velora was different–Vallo had become a second chance in a number of ways, and Vax getting to know his younger sister, raising her, was one of them. It had been rewarding and honestly, fun, to see, and Shaun had entered their relationship knowing and fully embracing that Velora and Vex'ahlia were a part of the deal.

His eyebrows tugged up at the next question, but because he was Shaun Gilmore and it was essentially a mandate that he flirt with Vax he couldn't help but quip, "Darling, I'm certain nothing about you has ever been ordinary, but if you insist on me taking a closer look, who am I to resist?"

Alright, fine, this seemed to be an actual question and not Vax seeking out attention and given a second to actually think about it, Gilmore’s raised eyebrows knitted together in concentration and concern. He twisted a ring around his thumb, eyes sparking with an arcane flare as he did. “Nothing magical, at least, not that I can see, it’s not a curse, but–” he took Vax’s face in between his hands and turned his face from side to side as if to examine him closer (as if Shaun really needed to do that).

“Well, you do have a heartbeat, that’s new.”

Gilmore could have said that Vax was slowly becoming a unicorn and somehow that would have been less shocking than the truth. His eyes immediately widened, eyebrows rising up his forehead as he let out a soft, incredulous, "What?"

Vax raised one of his hands, snaking it just below where Gilmore's was still resting, and pressed his fingers firmly against his neck. He actually held his breath in anticipation--something he normally could have done as long as he wanted, the undead revenant that he was no longer needing things like air--and there it was, the gentle thump thump thump of a heartbeat. His heartbeat.

And then, a moment later, he felt the sudden need to take a breath.

Vax did just that, drawing in air into his lungs. He always had continued to breathe, largely out of habit and instinct and also because he didn't want to freak people out, but it hadn't occurred to him until this moment that today had been a different sort of need. It hadn't occurred to him that his heart was beating at a normal pace, either, because why would he? It had been a year of him living in a body that was categorically undead, but he had spent the initial twenty-eight years very much alive. Switching back, if that's what this was, had apparently been a gentler process than his goddess granting him a favor after being disintegrated by an archlich in the Shadowfell.

"What the fuck," Vax breathed, his earlier surprise turning to confusion. A thought snagged in the back of his mind and he looked back to meet Gilmore's eyes. "My wings. Normally I just get them once a day, right? I used my wings twice today, first to get to work and then to get here. I didn't even think about it."

“We have, officially,” Shaun started, as he wrapped Vax up in a full embrace if only to act as something solid and sure to hold onto–and he would always give in to the urge to have him close. “A very odd relationship, darling.” And although it was true, because after all Vax had been technically not alive (it was still weird to think about, so Gilmore just…tended to not) along with new memories and conversations with a death goddess, it will still take more than all of that and then some to shake Shaun Gilmore.

“Do you feel differently?” he asked, and pulled back just enough to take Vax’s face in his hands once more. Now that he looked, really looked, he supposed there was a bit more color to Vax’s complexion and warmth there too. Neither had been something Gilmore had truly noticed in the morning, truth be told he hadn’t noticed anything different at all in the middle of the ordinary routine of getting ready for work and ensuring that each child had lunch and a jacket. “Do you think it would be best to go to the temple?”

Vax hesitated a moment, considering Gilmore's questions and giving them the thought and consideration that they deserved. He kept his arms looped around the other man, his head tipping just enough to nuzzle his cheek into a broad palm, unafraid to take that comfort when it was offered to him.

There was a difference, Vax thought, now that he recognized that there was something happening at all. It was hard to put a finger on it, but it wasn't as simple as that he had been an undead revenant and had been gifted back the mortality he had known before Vecna had done his worst. There was an energy of sorts, something thruming through him that hadn't been there before. It made his mind draw toward anytime he had been in the presence of the Matron, particularly near the very end, when he knew he was saying his final goodbyes to his loved ones.

"I do," Vax admitted, "feel differently. There's something here, something new. And I do think it has to do with her, but..." He released a breath, turning his face even further to kiss Gilmore's palm. "I don't really think going to the temple will change anything, at least not tonight. I'm not feeling any sort of pull and, besides--I'd rather stay close to you."

In response, Shaun's hold tightened on Vax and he set his lips on his forehead. “How fortuitous, I always want you close.” Which was, of course, never untrue, but it wasn’t much of a surprise to find out that any sort of changes whether physical or emotional and mental also came with that desire to be close. It served as a dual reminder: Shaun Gilmore could not be shaken, no matter what, but Vax wasn’t going anywhere himself. The future that he remembered wasn’t the future that awaited them here, and although anything could change, Gilmore had a feeling the glimpses of the one they had seen was pretty secure. Still, like he was going to resist.

“We’ll go in the next few days, hm? Assuage your worries. And meanwhile,” he pulled back enough to wag an eyebrow.. “You’ll simply force me to assuage other things. Woe!” He kissed Vax once again, winked, and summoned up a whirl of purple sparks and glowing runes that grew until they covered the entirety of the shop. When the runes faded, they were back in their room in Xhorhaus and Shaun looked entirely too pleased with himself. “I may not be able to fly multiple times, but I still have my uses.”

Because he was home and done for the day, Gilmore started the routine of shifting from ‘Glorious Gilmore, proprietor, Always On’ to Shaun Gilmore who preferred his nights with a little more quiet and a cup of tea. It involved removing (some) of the accessories and pulling down his hair from its intricate braid and bun. “In hindsight, your future self may have known of this? I didn’t think to ask, although, to be fair to me, we had our children who took precedence over everything, and you had a beard, I’m not entirely certain what you expect of me!”

The tension in Vax's body over the confusion regarding whatever the hell was going on had started to release the moment he had been in Gilmore's presence, but being in their home only further settled him. For as much as Vax reveled in things like adventure and danger and the thrill of a fight, he had come to learn that he truly appreciated home and domesticity and security. For much of his life, that had meant one single person: Vex. In recent years, it had expanded to involve friends and more family and, most notably, Shaun himself.

Vax watched Gilmore for a few moments, enjoying getting to watch him transform before his very eyes. Even in those early months and years of their acquaintance, he had known that there was a Shaun behind Gilmore. He compared it to how Gilmore had never been able to stop seeing Vax after he truly saw him for the first time; Vax had not been able to stop seeing Shaun, after he had noticed him behind the bravado and flirting. And now, as he sat on the edge of their bed and began the process of unlacing and buckling the boots that may very well have been tied for his most prized possession (alongside the Deathwalker's Ward, his daggers, his engagement ring, the beads in his hair...), he had to smile at the knowledge that this was just every day for them.

Today may have been a weird, outlier of a day, but at the end of it, he still got to come home to his fiance and their friends and family. That was a comfort.

Vax let out a huff of a laugh. "Keep on talking about the beard and I'm going to start trying to grow one now," he said, as though that was actually some sort of threat. Ever since Gilmore had first mentioned the beard that his older self sported, he'd considered just letting it go each time he stood in front of the mirror with his razor. "That sounds like something I'd keep to myself, though, just because. I'm kind of an ass like that."

“As if I don’t tell you your face is perfect literally every day!” Gilmore scoffed, although he threw a grin over his shoulder while he took off a thick gold chain. “Admittedly there are some expressions I’m partial to.” That comment, unsurprisingly, was paired with an eyebrow arch that somehow managed to be teasing and promising at the same time, because if Gilmore was going to do anything it was going to be: look fabulous, perform feats of astonishing, impossible magic, and flirt shamelessly with Vax.

He finished removing (most of) his accessories and went to sit down by Vax, waiting until he was done with his boots (and daggers and belt, tease Gilmore as much as you wanted about his love of accessories but Vax had a multitude of them himself) to take Vax’s hand in his own, their heads pressed together. “Much as I’d like to try to recreate some of them, and I would, talking of your older self does remind me of something I’d promised you.”

Specifically, their lifespans. Specifically, that there was a very good chance that, everything being equal, Vax would outlive him by far. It was something that Shaun was aware of, it was something that everyone from Exandria knew because different types of people had different lifespans, it was simply a fact of life. And for as much as he joked about never having a birthday and forever remaining the age that he was (leaving out the number entirely, because why), his reliance on a veritable army of skincare, the truth of the matter was, Shaun Gilmore simply didn’t focus on death or aging. Perhaps this was ironic, given that his most beloved beloved was the champion of the goddess of death, but Gilmore had always believed the life he had was the one he had, and it was worthy of living to the fullest. He did things because he enjoyed them, not because he was fighting some inevitably losing battle against the forces of aging.

But never approaching it felt unfair to both of them. Not when they shared everything, and intended to share the rest of their lives together. No, this wasn’t something Gilmore wanted to reflect on or worry about or mourn every day, but to never mention it would turn it into a thing. So he kissed Vax’s temple and squeezed his hand. “Darling, I have no intention of going anywhere, anytime soon. The rest of my days want to be with you, and our family, and any time we have together is more than what I thought we’d have, and I’m grateful for all of it.” Which was basically what he had told Vax’s older self, and what he was certain his older counterpart told him as well. What he believed with his whole heart, the heart the man next to him held.

“To me, it doesn’t matter so much what our lifespans look like. What matters is what the life we live looks like.”

This wasn't the first time that the concept of lifespans had come up over the course of one of Vax's relationships. It likely wasn't a very unique conversation topic between many couples tied to Exandria--or other worlds where different lineages meant differing boons and lifespans. With Keyleth, Vax had been on the opposite side of this conversation. Though a half-elf like himself, her eventual rise in power and ability as a druid would extend her lifespan tenfold, whereas Vax, had he lived beyond his allotted twenty-eight years in Exandria, was just a typical half-elf. Their relationship had needed time to grow into what it became for many reasons, Keyleth's grappling with her extended lifespan being one of them. Vax had respected that hesitance back then, even if he wasn't able to completely understand it from where he sat.

With Gilmore, however, Vax was the longer lived half as the half-elf side of the half-elf and human relationship. It granted him a perspective that he hadn't had in Exandria, even if differing lifespans was just a way of, well, life for most. It had never truly bothered him, something rooted in a mixture of attempting to live life within the moment and his being the champion to his particular goddess giving him an unique view on death. With Gilmore, it wasn't something that he could deny, though; if their lives continued as is, Vax knew that he would have a century or so to live without Gilmore at his side. That was nothing compared to some other relationships between races, but it was nevertheless something and it shouldn't be ignored.

Vax lifted their joined hands, kissing Gilmore's knuckles as he turned to face his fiance a bit better. "I won't pretend that I relish the thought of living without you," Vax started, bent a bit forward, but looking up to meet Gilmore's gaze, "but I know that it is probably unavoidable, unless you want to start dabbling in necromancy."

A joke, of course. (Unless.)

It wasn't a great joke, as evidenced by Vax releasing a sigh that bordered on resigned as he lifted his free hand to tuck a lock of hair behind Gilmore's rounded, very human-like, ear. "I'm also not about to let that kind of melancholy fuck with what we have right now, either." Which, truly, was saying something; as goofy and silly as Vax could be, he knew very well he was prone to melancholy.

“Tempting, but I think I would have to change my entire ensemble and wouldn’t that be going against the brand?” Gilmore mused, twirling the end of his beard, as if he was honestly considering altering the magic structure he had based his life’s work on but the color palette was the only hesitation. And then he went to doing a mental magic list of any spells he knew that were based in necromancy–maybe two or three? Considering that his most beloved was the champion of a death goddess, however, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to experiment, if only to be able to speak with some sort of knowledge and down the line when Vax inevitably needed something enchanted that would work with the gifts he had from the Raven Queen.

It was later in the night now, but Shaun could still hear the distant sounds of activity in the house: the bird children scheming for a later bedtime, Velora was nearby waiting for either homework help or to assure the adults in her life that she absolutely did not need help, thank you very much. Shaun smiled, the corners of his mouth turning into deep crescent moons. He wrapped his arms around Vax and leaned his head on Vax’s. “Our years may not be enough, but you are enough for me. This is enough for me.”

That would be true in the following years, when the sounds of the house and the look of the house were different but the core of it: family, friends, home, love, all of that, remained the same.

“But if you find out from our friends in the Bells Hells if I’ve gone gray and you let that information slip to me, I will never forgive you.”

A joke, of course. (Unless)

An immediate laugh burst out of Vax, because how could it not? It was a perfect example of just how much he loved Shaun and their relationship; they could have the important conversations, the ones about their lifespans and what they meant to one another and the path that they were on that led to their shared future, but they never felt overwhelming, not with Gilmore. That itch to walk away just didn't exist here.

Already so very close, thanks to the way Gilmore had pulled him into an embrace in the first place, Vax shamelessly moved so he could steal a kiss--a good one, one that echoed all of the sentiments that they had already shared, but also promised plenty, like future kisses for later and also that he would never, ever tell him just how gray his hair could potentially turn. Vax might have thought that his fiance would be only more attractive with some silver traces through his dark locks, but he wasn't prepared to tell him that. Not yet, at least. Perhaps later.

"You'll never hear it from me," Vax replied eventually, once he'd gotten his current fill of kisses. "In fact, I'll just never ask them, since the gods only know I can't keep secrets from you, even ones that you tell me to keep."

Vax stole one more kiss, before leaning away. "I need to tell Vex about this whole--" Not really having the words to describe whatever had happened in the first place, he just gestured at his body and shrugged. "Do me a favor and distract Velora while I do, then maybe we can think about dinner and what I plan to do to you once we retire for the evening?" And there, a flash of that roguish grin, just because he could.

“Tell your sister,” Gilmore agreed, curious about what Vex’ahlia would say and if she had any additional insights into what Vax had become. Unless it involved creative use of the arcane arts, Shaun’s role was to be the supportive partner, And that part was the easiest thing in the world to do, he would always support Vax, always stand by his side. He wished he had more.

What Shaun Gilmore did have, in spades, was plenty of wagging eyebrows and a mischievous grin of his own. “What you plan on doing to me? Oh, darling, you may be the rogue but I promise you, I still have quite a few tricks to show you.”