Vallo was overwhelming. Yeah, that was the word for it.
Not bad! No, not at all, actually. Other than being separated from everyone she knew and loved and the city she had called home for the past decade and sworn to protect, it was actually fine. People knew her here because, apparently, sheâd been here before â two versions of her at the same time for a bit, actually, that was wild to discover. Lena and Alex had been here, too, for months, but now they were gone, leaving L-Corp dotting Valloâs skyline and Alâs Dive Bar tucked into a quieter side of the city as proof that theyâd existed here, once.
Since sheâd been here, Kara had managed to settle in. Sheâd claimed an apartment at Morningside Manor, had a chat with Sara to sign up for the DOAâs Defense Department, and connected with a sweet girl named Catra, who had been close to Alex during her time in Vallo. Hearing Catra talk about Alex and Lena had been surprising and bittersweet â especially learning the nature of their relationship â but it had given her the fortitude she needed to move forward. This place might release her someday, but until it did, she was going to make the best of the situation, keep busy, and do what good she could for her new home.
That meant taking care of business at L-Corp on her off-shift days. Managing the day-to-day and the big picture for the company was easy for Kara; with her memory and her organizational skills, it was a breeze. And it felt good to be able to run Lenaâs company in a way she knew her best friend would approve of.
It was one of those days when she was reading through a new swathe of contracts that her phone chimed with an alert from the DOA. You have received this notification, per your request, to inform you that LENA LUTHOR has arrived in Vallo. Her eyes went wide, and she immediately picked up the phone to call in, ready to put on her cape and fly to the DOA to see her â only to be informed that Lena had reached out to them from L-Corp. Which meant she was the Lena from before, but she could deal with that as long as Lena was here.
She closed her eyes, took a breath, and within seconds, she had pinpointed the familiar rhythm of her best friendâs heartbeat. Upstairs, the penthouse. Sheâd stepped in there once before, briefly, not long after her arrival, but she hadnât made it past poking her head in. It felt too intrusive, walking into this place that her best friend and her sister had built without either of them around. But now, she let the elevator scan her biometrics and zoom her to the top floor, stepping out into the front hall with much less hesitation.
âLena?â
Lena could do this. She could. She had no choice.
Her re-entry to Vallo was met with a minor case of vertigo but she could easily pinpoint the cause of that too; itâs the memories, resurfacing from these locked compartments of her mind from magic that even her level of scientific knowledge couldnât explain. It was the months with Alex, here - dancing around feelings, the subtle touches and looks, the memory of Theo in their living room working on legos. Holding hands while they were roller skating. Alex, hitting the ground during a patrol where there was only darkness and monsters.
Running parallel to that was her wedding again, Alex dressed in white with a bride that wasnât her and a child that wasnât hers. But she didnât have the memories to mourn the loss there, and she carried on with the elation of being anointed godmother. She knew that song and dance, all of it was the same, except -
Except.
âKara,â she breathed, watching her with disbelief - was she real, an illusion? The penthouse had alerted her of someone coming up but sheâd been too distracted with the DOA to pay any mind, although the doors didnât open to just anyone. It took specific coding and very specific DNA.
Lena wished she looked put together for this. In fact, Kara might even recognize the state of her - makeup from the night before, disheveled hair (despite how stubborn the styling had been, what she and Kara had done ruined her appearance in the best way), the clothes sheâd worn to the wedding with the sinful neckline.
The last thing she remembered from home was the morning after the wedding. After waking up. After getting dressed again to leave the hotel.
After her night with Kara.
The back of her wrist touched her forehead, and Lena grimaced before attempting a smile. âHi there.â
âHi there,â Kara echoed, stepping further inside as the elevator doors slid shut silently behind her. She went to join Lena in the living room, perching on the arm of the chair nearest where she was seated on the couch.
She recognized those clothes at once, remembered them in vivid detail â she remembered everything Lena had ever worn, but that was a topic for another time. She had arrived from this very same time, the morning after her sisterâs wedding, a while ago now, but the memories felt more visceral than ever with Lena in that state, by her hand, here and now.
âAre you okay?â she asked, eyebrows furrowed with concern. She wanted to reach out to her, to take her hand, hug her, but it felt better to keep her distance until she was invited. It didnât matter if, right now, she looked like Lena as she last saw her; Lena-of-Vallo had a very different life that Kara hadnât really been a part of, and she wanted to be respectful.
âI donâtâŠâ Lenaâs smile became tight-lipped, her brain scrambling for words, scrambling to process, scrambling to push away all thoughts of Kara when Alex should be prioritized. Alex, who wasnât here. Alex was gone; disappeared the same day she did, and was still not here. Alex was still back home, married, with a child and all of it would be without her. âI donât know if this constitutes as some kind of walk of shame or not.â
It was a weak joke â probably not in good taste.
Having done what she needed to do with her phone, she set it on the coffee table and stood to pull at her fingers, cracking them and her knuckles in an attempt to rid herself of some nervous energy. Or the need to cry - she felt the sensation bubble up in her chest, threatening her throat. âYouâre not new,â she deduced. âHow long have you been here, Kara?â
The concern didnât fade, but Karaâs lips curled up into a small smile at the joke nevertheless. It wasnât really funny, but it was the situation more than the joke. Lena looked rough and not just because of her state of dress. Kara wanted more than anything for there to be something she could do about it, to help her. For now, all she could do was be here, and she was ready and willing to do that.
âA while,â she answered, tilting her head up to look at Lena. âA few months. They told me youâd been here before. You and Alex. I asked them to send me a notification if either of you ever showed up again.â
Sheâd hoped they would, both of them, every day. She could move forward without them, live without them and make the best of her life here, that wasnât a problem. But she wanted them, even if they were a package deal; she missed her sister and best friend. Regardless of her feelings, sheâd wrap her head around it and be happy for them.
âI only got the notification about you, though. Is⊠Is Alex here, too?â
The floorplan of the penthouse wasnât that original - Lena Luthor liked the simplicity and spaciousness of an open concept, and stepping towards the kitchen meant she was still in earshot and vision of Kara. âI checked,â she answered stiffly, tapping the door of her fridge to reveal a glass door that showed her the contents without even opening it. The fridge was dismal - emptied out by the friend she had taken over the building, she was sure.
That meant there was nothing to drink. Alex had been attending AA, and she never stocked up the house with alcohol anymore after that so who was she even kidding. âSheâs not here.â
Karaâs been here for months, though. They - whoever they were - had told her about them. Lena didnât know what to make of that. She focused on a practical route instead, pressed a button hidden on her kitchen island and it popped up a holographic interface of a computer. This wasnât the start of an elaborate project; she was checking financials, and then moved forward toâŠ
Groceries.
Yes, groceries. She could focus on groceries and not look Kara in the eye. All it would do was take her back to the night before - clothes on the ground, hands roaming - while she was trying to grapple with the fact that Alex wasnât here. Would Alex even want her, if she had returned to Vallo remembering that she married Kelly and had Esme? It had been hard telling her that when she remembered it the first time, but to actually experience it would have been devastating andâ
Lena cleared her throat. âAre you at Morningside?â
This was small talk. She hated small talk.
There was a dash of disappointment when Lena confirmed Alex wasnât here. She had assumed that was what the lack of notification meant, but sheâd learned from other Outlanders that arrival and departure wasnât a perfect process. It was completely feasible that a notification hadnât been sent and her sister was here. But no such luck; it sucked, but Kara knew Alex was happy back home with Kelly and Esme â married and a mom, just like sheâd always wanted.
But Lena knew that. And judging by her evasiveness, the stilted tone of her voice, and what Kara knew about their relationship when she wasnât here, it wasnât something that was going to make her feel any better right now.
Kara trailed after Lena to lean on the opposite side of the kitchen island while her best friend tapped away at the interface. She hated the awkwardness of small talk, but she answered her with a nod, anyway. âYes, Iâm at Morningside,â she confirmed aloud. âItâsâŠnice.â
She sighed, letting silence fall between them for a long moment before she spoke again. âLena, I want you to knowâŠI understand you were with Alex last time you were here. I donât want you to think Iâm expecting anything from you because Iâm not. But Iâm here when you want to talk.â A pause, then she added, âOr if you want to talk,â a little softer.
Lena laughed. It was this short, mirthless sound. Putting it out there - fine, she supposed that was necessary. Not like she hadnât done her fair share of navigating complicated feelings, and her feelings for Kara were complex; an all-consuming wildfire that she felt in her bones, and a sense of bitterness that she still sometimes had a hard time shaking. She had loved her. She still did.
She had loved Alex, too. And she also still did.
But she wasnât fond of the whiplash. Having gone from wanting to give her heart to Kara but feeling unable to, then to finally give it to Alex - just for Alex to be home, married, gone. Back home, Kara had finally gotten it even if she might not have known it; she poured out every single thing she wanted to say but couldnât through every kiss, every caress of her hands, stroke of her fingers.
Now she was here, again.
âI donât know where to start,â she admitted, finally, a quiver in her voice. It was a slip in the facade she tried to keep up, and she tried and tried to build this emotional fortress around her but she was failing. âI finally had you, and thenââ
This happens.
Lena laughed again. It was the same identical one. Her hand dropped from the screen, and she grabbed the edges of the island with a tight grip. âIâm sorry.â
In a flash, Kara was by her side, hands sliding up to hold her by the shoulders. It was instinct, as automatic as breathing; she wasnât going to let Lena hurt without trying to comfort her, even if she was part of the problem. She had spent too long keeping Lena at arms-length. Maybe that was what she needed to do now, too, but she couldnât. She wouldnât.
âDonât apologize,â she chastised gently. âLena, I canât even imagine what it must feel like to be here again, to have months of memories back that you didnât have back home.â And Lena, for all intents and purposes, had experienced this twice (that Kara knew of): the memories of both their Earths merging, now memories of a pocket dimension sheâd never realized sheâd been in returning and complicating what had finally started to simplify.
Finally. And now, it was complicated again.
âWhy donât you go shower,â she suggested, using her grip to gently steer Lena away from the island. âClean up, take a breath, absorb. Iâll take care of your groceries when they get here, and Iâll be waiting for you when youâre done. Does that sound okay?â
It was awful, Lena thought, how badly she wanted Kara to kiss her right then and there. Her brain chemistry today was an absolute mess and she was not having it - so shower it was. A cold one to start with before she turned it scalding.
Her response was a nod and a yep, youâre right as she looked away from her eyes and let her legs carry her through the penthouse. Lenaâs body worked on auto-pilot as she tried not to look and see if any of Alexâs clothes remained in her closet, and she tried not to look at the pictures she knew were perched on the nightstand (she saw the frames in her periphery).
There was a pack of makeup wipes she broke out to properly clean her face. She undressed. She showered. She washed the heavy products from her hair, and the lingering smell of the perfume she had specifically gotten for the wedding. What she couldnât wash off were the little marks blooming on her skin - the pink spots on her neck Kara had left. She had probably seen them already anyway, but Lena made sure to dress herself into a turtleneck top so they wouldnât be out there.
No moping clothes today. She kept it simple but classy, feeding into the illusion that she could maybe keep herself together. She didnât think, despite Karaâs request to absorb the present.
The groceries had arrived and god knows what she even ordered. She certainly didnât remember.
âIâm better,â she announced upon re-entering the living space. Lena was absolutely lying and she knew it, but maybe saying it out loud (and repeatedly) would somehow make it true. She at least looked like she hadnât been ravished senseless the night before, which wasâcould it be an improvement? Hard to say. âI canât remember even what I bought but you know you can always help yourself. With anything. Any time.â She cleared her throat and gestured at literally nothing. âI made sure you have access to all of L-Corp even if you werenât with us. Have youâseen ourâmy cat??â
While Lena was showering, the groceries arrived and Kara filled up the refrigerator and the cabinets. She fired up the Keurig to make a cup of coffee and pulled out two slices of fresh bread to pop into the toaster. If Lena was coming from their night together, she would still have a bit of sobering up to do; she hadnât been drinking excessively, but there had been alcohol freely flowing at the wedding. Sheâd need something to soak it up, no matter how put-together she may act.
Plus, Kara needed something to do with her hands. This was an odd situation in an odd place. She wasnât expecting to face all of it and what it meant right this second, but the tension lingered. She needed some way to break it.
She turned when Lena entered the room and flashed her a knowing smile. She was not better â that was a lie, and they both knew it, but Kara let her have this one. She wasnât here to force her to talk about her feelings, especially when she had two sets of them converging on her, all before lunchtime. She was just here to make sure she was settled and okay.
The toast and the coffee were set down on the coffee table, and Kara returned to the armchair, leaving the couch open for Lena. She was keeping to her silent promise of space right now. She could be helpful and present and still grant her the space she likely needed.
âMermistaâs fine,â she assured Lena first and foremost, since there seemed to be a hint of frenzied energy accompanying that question. âCatra put her in a local foster home run by this really sweet guy when you and Alex disappeared. She told me where to find her, and I went and picked her up. Sheâs back at Morningside, but I can bring her by later for you.â Her smile this time was much less subdued. âSheâs sassy, reminds me of Streaky.â
âYes, if you donât mind,â Lena breathed with relief, somehow able to muster up a more genuine smile. Mermista was theirs, and she was rather fond of having a four-legged companion prowl around - the shedding didnât bother her, she had high-tech cleaning tools to clean up after her. But that cat felt like a constant she sorely needed. She was familiar.
She took to the couch, settling in the middle of it, and went for the coffee. âThank you. For - this. Iâm sorry, I should have had a better reaction to seeing you and donât think for a second that Iâm not glad youâre here. I am. The entire time Alex and Iâwe missed you, we talked about you, about all the things youâd like about this place. How you wouldnât have to hide who you were. We had versions of you here but none of themâthey werenât you.â
There was a lot unsaid between them but Lena knew. She knew this was the Kara she knew. She was the Kara she spent the night with.
Kara nodded. Her plan had always been to return Mermista to her rightful owners if they ever resurfaced. She liked having the cat around, too, but she was the cat-aunt, not the cat-mom. She didnât mind giving her back and retaining visitation. Whatever Lena needed that she could provide, she would give it to her, no questions asked.
Her heart fluttered at Lenaâs words. They werenât you. She wasnât sure what the differences between the version of her she was now and the versions of her that had been here before were, but she liked knowing she was the Kara that Lena recognized. That Lena and Alex had missed, even though it hurt her heart to think theyâd been here missing her. But she knew what that was like now â being here, surrounded but isolated, missing the people she loved most in the whole multiverse.
âIâm sorry I couldnât be here sooner.â Kara smiled softly, genuinely, fidgeting with her glasses before turning her hand to pick at the arm of the chair. Maybe that was a stupid thing to say, but she did. Even if it had meant seeing her sister and Lena together, she wished sheâd been here with them. âAnd⊠Iâm sorry Iâm here now and not Alex. I know it must beâŠso hard.â
âYouâve nothing to apologize for - literally nothing,â Lena shot at her, firm but the affection was there. Kara had done nothing wrong, and Vallo did what Vallo did; a chaotic roulette of multiversal abductions. It didnât play favorites. It was unforgiving. Anything this place gave you was something it could (and would) take away. âAnd I donât want to make this about me, soââ
Coffee mug in her hands, she leaned into the couch and tucked her legs beneath her. âYouâre here, and itâs your first time andâhow are you? Tell me how youâre adjusting. Do you need money? I can make a transfer easily, let me know.â
Again, Kara gave in. If Lena wanted to keep the conversation on her, she wasnât going to put up a fight. Everything had shifted for her, again, and she knew better than to push Lena too far, too fast. When she was ready to talk, she would do it on her own terms.
âYouâre already paying me,â Kara chuckled, settling back more comfortably into the plush armchair. âI joined Defense, but I popped in to help out with things over here because, you know, I couldnât not. And then, somehow, it escalated to, uhâŠrunning things. The COO you had set up here left to start her own business, and it all just sort ofâŠfell into my lap.â
Lena blinked. âOh.â That was⊠surprising. Certainly nothing to be upset about. There were no assurances on whether or not L-Corp would disappear when she did but she set up fail safes in case it remained to protect the locals that have set up shop in the offices, and even though she put it in capable hands - Kara somehow taking lead on it?
There was a short list of people she would trust with it. Kara and Alex were on the very top.
âI have literally no idea how things look at the moment, but - if itâs you, then Iâm not worried,â she chuckled, taking a sip of her coffee now that it had cooled. God, she needed caffeine. And maybe Serefinâs entire wine cellar to shove down her throat. âIâll take a peek at everything tonight and reinstate myself back to business. Itâs something to do.â
If she couldnât bury herself in Alexâs arms, or Karaâs arms, then she would bury herself into work and deal with it all that way. Productivity was a better alternative than sinking into the couch and feeling sorry for yourself.
âIâve been making sure everything runs smoothly,â Kara assured her. âAnd Iâm more than happy to keep going until youâre ready.â She didnât mind; she had worked for Cat Grant and done a lot more heavy lifting on the business side of CatCo than anyone truly knew. Her brain was hard-wired for productivity. It kept her busy and goal-oriented, and she was content with it, even when it made her miss Lena like crazy.
As if on cue, her watch pinged with a notification and she raised her wrist to swipe it away before turning her attention back to Lena. Whatever it was would wait. This â Lena â was more important than anything else that might be waiting for her downstairs. And she knew her best friend well enough to know sheâd do (and had done) the same with their positions reversed.
âI missed you,â she admitted quietly with another small smile flashed in Lenaâs direction, eyes trained on her. âI know this, right now, is all kinds of complicated, but I missed you, and Iâm happy youâre here. I hope thatâs okay?â
All kinds of complicated. God, what a way to address the elephant in the room without really addressing it. It was a good tactic. Lena wasnât certain she could have a more specific talk about⊠things right now. They had to, at some point.
âMore than okay,â she breathed, before her teeth dug into her bottom lip as she gave Kara a look that bled apologies. Home was complicated. This was beyond that, and all these threads were tangled up into one messy knot. Theyâd have to unspool it one by one. âIâm happy youâre here, too. But if you have places to beâŠâ
Lena had taken note of that ping. She didnât have any desire to be babysat but she also loathed the idea of Kara leaving, and also loathed how selfish she wanted to be right now by asking her to stay.
Kara shook her head. âNowhere more important than here with you,â she insisted. As if to prove that point, she reached for her watch again to flip the switch that would mute any incoming notifications. She meant that, too. It didnât matter how messy the situation was right now â above everything, Lena was her best friend. They had screwed that relationship up once before, and she wasnât going to allow anything to do that again, their own feelings included.
But she couldnât make herself keep that distance anymore, either. She slipped off her chair and onto the couch beside Lena, wrapping her arms around her and leaning in to kiss her â on the cheek, letting it linger for a long moment. She ached to let everything she was feeling spill out, but this was the best she could do right now. It was the right move, for everyone involved, to let the gesture speak for her.
Lena didnât know what she was doing, and her eyes had widened and her stomach fluttered and she knew, knew Kara could pick up on her racing heart. Goosebumps dotted her skin even beneath the sleeves of her turtleneck, and while that kiss was chasteâthere was something to it.
Something they knew couldnât be put to words right now.
âI wonât decline your company,â she told her, aching that closeness to the point that she caved as well. It wasnât anything scandalous; her forehead pressed into hers so she could revel in Karaâs existence. Her presence, her warmth. So close, but so far. âIâll finish the coffee and you can give me a tour of whatâs been happening here?â
Otherwise she might literally melt into Karaâs arms and as tempting as that was, Lena couldnât do that without feeling she was betraying Alex in some way. Who's to say she wouldnât show up tomorrow? A week from now?
âYeah,â Kara agreed easily. Her arms tightened around Lena briefly, squeezing her and reveling in having her close. She hadnât gotten to hug her properly yet. This wasnât quite that, but it was close. Good enough. âIâll grab a snack, and we can go down to your office when youâre ready.â
âGives me time to try and stomach that toast you made me,â Lena smiled. Kara wasâgod, she was too perfect, too thoughtful, handling this with more grace than she was (though it was entirely possible she was also being too hard on herself, but she wouldnât entertain that thought). But she deserved something; reciprocation of any kind because, despite it all, they were still friends.
Best friends.
She had a free arm, so she used it - and hers couldnât hold up trains or move airplanes but she did everything in her power to squeeze her back as tight as she could. âThank you,â she whispered.
Lena let her go, eventually. It might just have been a few moments after the fact.