I just feel a lot of panic and confusion. The confusion is mostly overwhelming everything because I can't decide if flight or fight is more suitable and I am terrible at fight. I would know that if I wasn't so confused.
But this is how my life has been turning out because I had a great marriage and we had a nice home and a great kid and then there was murder and mayhem and little creatures covered in eyes and spider legs and now death. Not that there wasn't death before but I just wasn't expecting it to be mine.