vallo

Hey guys, PSA.

1. If you put a cucumber next to a cat when they aren't looking it's considered absolute betrayal and therapy may be required.

2. I can't believe I have to clarify this but I am in no way related to anyone in this cat-people tavern in the forest. I don't know why I've gained VIP status there. I also don't know why sometimes they also think I work there. I don't. I really don't. I've explained this so many times but no one listens and I keep going there anyway because the food's good, 10/10.

3. 90% of my posts are numbered like this so I figured I'd keep up the tradition.

Hello? Hello! I believe this is working now. I don't entirely understand the mechanisms of this contraption, nor the tiny things I must press in order to create words, but no mind.

Firstly, I sincerely apologize to the fellow who found me yesterday evening; the shock of the situation has yet to wear off, however I do believe that I will manage to persevere! Your assistance was appreciated and I am in your debt.

Secondly, name is Stede Bonnet. I'm not sure who will receive this message, but I hope my tenure here is only temporary. Of course, it is April Fools Day, so perhaps this is just the universe playing a brief practical joke on me! That seems to be all the rage on this date now, doesn't it?

Thank you to whoever decided pink was to be my hair colour today. I think it looks great. :)

[ FILTERED TO DEFENSE TEAM B ]
Hello! We've been working together for quite some time already, but I found it's time to reintroduce myself as the new team coordinator. I'm not very good at speeches, as I tend to ramble and use speeches as a distraction tactic than anything else, but I would like to shoot for a team breakfast before our patrol on Monday to find out what you want to see from me going forward.

So, breakfast on me at Nooks & Crannies at 7:30, Monday morning. Come hungry!

[ FILTERED TO WANDA MAXIMOFF ]
I need blended mimosas and your company as soon as I can have it. I have questions of the guardian sort and my experience is limited. My luck had it that Torunn came to me as an adult and requires nothing but my affection and company these days, but my new ward is much younger and requires more oversight. I can't just throw an axe at her head and challenge her to a duel to bond, as I can with Torunn.

Also, she has magic. I admit while my mother was an important influence in my life, I never learned from her, her greatest arts. I, sadly, don't think I will have the opportunity ever again. You, however, are here and have that unique experience of being a mother to a magical child.

To my dearest, darlingest Fred and George Weasley:

How's everyones morning going so far?

rar( rawr )

Who: Melody Williams & Edwin Courcey
What: Mel finally gets around to checking out the library.
When: Late last month?
Warnings: Brief mentions of murder and imprisonment.

( The Library had been an early recommendation for sights to see upon finding oneself in Vallo, but there had been other things on Melody's mind these last weeks. )

Okay, so last week I asked about breaking magical contracts and a couple of you said you had ideas and were going to look into them.

So... How many of you remember doing that? Have you looked into anything? New ideas?

Does anyone else remember Addie?

Does anyone else have ideas?

On an unrelated note, did anyone else's wardrobe suddenly turn leopard print only or is that just me?

Her Royal Highness, Princess Torunn of Asgard*, is throwing** a Bridgerton Beltane*** Ball at the Palace!

This most auspicious occasion will be held on behalf of The Sanctuary, on Beltane, to mark the coming season and raise funds for every ones favorite animal refuge. A night of dancing, delectables, and perhaps some debauchery as we welcome the return of Spring in style.

So, gentle readers, come dressed in your very best. The reigning May Queen will be choosing his diamond, and this treasure is set to inherit the crown.

Yours Truly,
Lady Marie Waterton of Stingrayshire



*Don't ever call her that you will be stabbed
**She's not, I am. But she's given me the space.
*** Or Walpurgisnacht, since its an Asgardian palace. But it doesn't quite have the same ring to it.