Jesus H. Christ on a cracker [...]
Right.
So. Literally every goddamn person in this place knows """Dan"" and
apparently it's his birthday tomorrow and the only reason I know this is because when I said I was thinking about what to do in my own life tomorrow he got some fucking sad puppy dog eye thing and was all like 'oh, okay...' and now
apparently that means that I am
inviting, ugh, no, not that telling people that if you want to show up on Friday, 7, at the axe throwing place and say things to him, that would be appropriate.
He's also marrying into my family, which I still think means he should throw me a party or at least give me a gift or something, so consider it like a [...] celebration of that too. I guess. Even though the idea of bachelor parties is archaic as fuck because it implies you're losing something but
whatever. So it isn't that. Just a statement of fact.
Please do not consider this as an invitation to be my friend, I have enough friends and they are the be Great.