WHAT: Kate gets her long awaited motorcycle lesson from Nat but also gets kind of mopey WHERE: Vallo suburbs/Widow House WHEN: Backdated to Thursday, Aug. 11th WARNINGS: Sad feels and family feels STATUS: Complete
Kate’s grin was nearly ear-to-ear until she tempered herself, glancing at Natasha beside her and folding her arms over her chest in an attempt to appear more casual. She didn’t want to seem too overeager and give Nat the chance to change her mind, not now.
After all, she’d been pushing hard for this day to come. She had been pleading her case for ages, fighting against Natasha’s stoic faces after refusal with big puppy dog eyes and promises (threats, really) that she’d just keep asking until she gave in. She was pretty sure Nat enjoyed making her ask and ask and ask, though. She’d caught some glimpses of those barely-there smirks she always found herself on the receiving end of when Nat was in annoying big sister mode.
Her plan had finally come to fruition — she got to learn how to drive a motorcycle. It wasn’t going to be an easy task, she already knew that. She had never even learned to drive a car because — well, she’d never really needed to? She was always either being driven around or had public transportation to rely on. It wasn’t really a necessary skill — not in New York and not really in Vallo either, with all the Waypoint technology.
But motorcycles were badass. And Nat had been the one to suggest Kate train with her, which she wasn’t going to refuse, so she’d just kind of squeezed motorcycle lessons into the curriculum when her charm and persuasive arguments seemed to fail her. Maybe Nat had just gotten sick and tired of listening to her, or maybe she just felt sorry for her after what a mess she’d been losing Elsa and Mobius, but she was taking the win for what it was.
“Okay, so.” She started cracking her knuckles and looked up at her sister with a very serious expression (and totally not one she was doing to mock Natasha, not at all). “How do we start?”
Natasha could practically see Kate vibrating with anticipation at the day’s lesson. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her a little nervous. Kate was smart and talented, yes. She was also reckless and impulsive. Those characteristics mixed with a motorcycle could be bad news. Still, she’d promised a lesson, and she’d follow through on that. She’d just have to lean into mean big sister mode if her student got too ahead of herself.
Nat tossed Kate a hot pink helmet. “Safety first.”
Kate wrinkled her nose at that color. It couldn’t have at least been purple? She internally sighed, but fine. Safety first, that was probably a good idea. She could practically see Clint standing beside Nat, giving her that chastising ‘don’t try me’ look.
“So far, pretty boring,” she joked. She snapped all the appropriate snaps and flicked the visor down over her eyes. “I look like a mismatched Power Ranger.”
Apart from the new addition of the helmet, she was, of course, decked out in her signature purple — not the Hawkeye suit she and Clint had commissioned from Missy, but an archery suit similar to her original from home, bought not long after her trust fund had filled her Vallo bank account. It seemed like the closest she could get to motorcycle-appropriate attire.
Her face would never betray it, but Natasha couldn’t help the amusement she felt at Kate’s expression. She’d purposely picked that color as payment for all of the younger woman’s pleading. Still, Kate dutifully put the helmet on and Natasha nodded her approval.
“Oh you thought learning to ride was going to be cool?” She chuckled softly and brought her fist down firmly on top of the helmet to make sure it was securely in place. “We’ll need to get you a jacket, pants, and boots later on. But these will work for what we’re doing today.”
She moved in front of her currently parked motorcycle and motioned for Kate. “Go ahead and climb on. We’ll start with the controls.”
Kate evaluated the motorcycle for a moment, considering what would be the best way to climb on like Nat had directed. It was kind of tilted, and she had an inkling that if she went about it the wrong way, the whole thing would fall over. But she couldn’t be too cautious, or they’d get nowhere, so she decided to just go for it.
She’d taken horseback riding lessons, so she decided to go with that tactic with less pushing herself upward and more handle-grabbing. It wasn’t perfect, but it was effective, and she managed to keep balanced with her right foot planted on the ground. There were some anxious flippy feelings in her stomach, though. She always got that way when she was doing something new and was determined not to screw up.
“You’re getting on with me, right?” she asked, flipping her visor back up to look at Nat. There was an implied ‘please’ — there was less chance of screwing something up if she didn’t go it totally on her own the first time.
Nat’s eyes missed nothing as Kate began to maneuver herself onto the bike. Her reflexes were unmatched and if there was any sign of tipping or falling, she’d have been there to steady her. To her pleasant surprise, it wasn’t necessary. Kate was far from graceful climbing on, but she managed it without too much difficulty.
She didn’t miss the nerves that undercut Kate’s question. “Of course, but first I want to go over the controls with you.” She moved to stand on the front of the bike so she and Kate faced one another on either side of the handlebars. “Clutch, throttle.” She said each name as she pointed it out. “Front brake, turn signal. Over here is the engine cut off switch.” She rounded the left side of the bike and tapped Kate’s leg to draw her attention, “And here’s your rear brake.”
The next 45 minutes or so consisted of Natasha explaining all the controls and their functions in detail. She tested Kate over and over until she was confident the younger woman had everything memorized correctly. She had Kate start the engine, pull forward, brake, and essentially made certain she wasn’t going to topple off the bike immediately after taking off.
“I’d say you’ve got the basics well in hand.” Nat grabbed her own helmet and held it under her arm. “Ready to go for a test spin?”
When she wanted to learn, Kate was nothing if not attentive. She goofed off and took stupid dares and got a little reckless when she was determined to win, but she wasn’t stupid. And her memory was top-notch, so she had no trouble rattling off all the information Nat asked of her, even when her sister tried to get all crafty and change the wording around to confuse her. She even managed to hold herself steady when she pulled forward, so overall, she was pretty satisfied with herself.
She was absent a little bit of her usual arrogance, though, especially when Nat asked if she was ready to go. They were still parked in the house’s driveway, and even in the more suburban area of Vallo City they had landed in, there was occasional traffic, and she wasn’t entirely certain she was ready to be amongst cars. But she’d wanted to do this, and she still wanted to do this, and she knew Nat wouldn’t let anything horrible happen.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” She nodded, expression grimly determined before she flipped the dark visor back down. “Don’t let me die, okay?”
A genuine smile spread over Natasha’s face. It actually made her feel better that Kate was exhibiting some signs of nervousness. It meant she would be aware and she would be more safe. “I mean, the house would be a lot quieter…” She raised her helmet to put it on. “But how boring would that be?”
She snapped her helmet on and gracefully climbed onto the back of the motorcycle. She kept her weight as even as possible since Kate still seemed a little bit on edge and they didn’t need to tip over before they’d even begun.
Once she was settled on the seat, she gave Kate’s shoulder a reassuring pat. “We’ll start slow. To the end of the street, then hang a right.”
Kate pouted — not that it was all that effective a tool when her entire face was covered. She’d hold on to the retort that immediately came to mind for later, too. Right now, she just needed to give this all of her focus, and with Natasha behind her, there was a small boost in confidence. She could do this. It was just like riding a bike, right? Kind of.
Once she’d gotten the bike started, it was just a matter of movement. She took a breath and eased it forward again, just like the practice round she’d done with Nat earlier, and it went surprisingly smoothly. Slowly, at first, but she’d gained a little more certainty by the time she got to the end of the street.
They ended up looping around the block without anything tragic happening. Kate’s hands hurt from holding onto the handlebars so tightly, and her heart might be beating so hard in her chest that she could hear it echo in her ears. By the time she’d made a complete circle, she was eager to stop in the driveway again, making sure she shut off and parked Nat’s bike properly, and take a break.
“Okay! Well, I think that’s enough for one day,” she declared, unsnapping her helmet. She definitely looked a little shaky, but she tried her best to brush it off and act casual. “Thanks for taking me out.”
Nat was a bit surprised when Kate decided to end the lesson after one loop around the block, but she’d never let it show. Her student had done extremely well for her first time, and if she’d decided that was enough for the day, Nat wouldn’t push it.
With the bike parked once more, she threw her leg over the side until she was on solid ground again. She pulled off her own helmet and gave Kate an encouraging smile. “You did really well today. How about some takeout to celebrate?”
Kate wouldn’t admit it, but she definitely felt a little silly for pushing this so hard for a lesson and stopping after one loop around the block. She knew her limits, though, and right now, she was sure she’d hit them. It was literally the first time she’d driven any sort of vehicle, and it had shaken her up more than she’d anticipated. Which was also ridiculous because nothing bad had happened.
“I don’t think that’s anything worth celebrating,” she chuckled. Her nerves were plain to see, and she sunk down on the ground and up against the wall that lined the driveway, resting that bright pink helmet on her lap and looking up at Nat. “Thanks for humoring me, though.”
“Of course it is.” Nat replied with a pointed look. “You may not feel like you did very much, but considering where you’re starting from, I couldn’t have asked for anything better from you. Don’t start getting humble on me now, Kate Bishop.”
Kate scoffed and grinned. “Nothing humble about it,” she assured her, looking up at her. “It just overwhelmed me, I guess.”
The physicality of it was one thing, but her mind had turned back to Elsa. Less than a month ago, the first thing she’d have done when she successfully drove a motorcycle was call her girlfriend and regale her with the tale, maybe even go find her so she could see the look on her face. She always wore this big grin when Kate started going on a ramble.
But now she was gone, and Kate was still aching from it, even if she did her best to conceal it.
“Thanks, Nat,” she added. “Yelena would have given me way more shit about stopping so fast.” She knew Yelena teased out of love (and Kate was the exact same way herself), but Natasha’s quiet, casual understanding was more what she needed right now.
Nat moved to set her helmet on the seat of the now parked motorcycle, then sat down next to Kate. She knew it had been a rough transition for the younger woman. It would take time and baby steps, but she had every confidence that Kate would get there in her own time.
“You want to talk about anything?”
“Nothing you haven’t heard,” Kate sighed, leaning into Nat’s side comfortably. She’d had a few more boundaries before they started living together, but they’d all but evaporated at this point. “Just feels like almost everything I do, I think about her and what she’d have said, you know? I don’t know how to make that stop.”
With an empathetic smile, Nat leaned her head to rest against Kate’s. “I think that’s perfectly normal. She was the person you went to first for everything, and that impulse doesn’t just evaporate overnight. I know it’s an annoying answer that doesn’t feel very helpful, but time will help with that. But in the meantime, why not still talk to her? I still talk to people who aren’t with me anymore.”
“Really?” Kate questioned, surprised. She could never have envisioned that; Natasha was always just this pillar of quiet strength. “I figured that would probably make me look crazy. Or, well, crazier than usual, I mean.”
“Really. Sometimes I write it down, sometimes I say things out loud, or sometimes I talk to them while meditating or before I go to sleep at night. There are lots of options, and as long as it makes you feel better, who cares what it looks like. I’m certainly not going to judge.”
“Yeah. Well, maybe I will,” Kate agreed. She couldn’t say the thought hadn’t occurred to her, and hearing it come from Nat felt like a weird sort of permission she’d needed. “Who do you talk to?”
“Clint,” she smiled wistfully. “Steve. Laura and the kids. Sometimes even Fury and Coulson.” Each and every one of them were lost in her world. All casualties to Ultron. And while she was able to reconnect with many of her friends and family here in this place, they were all still just out of her reach…all the people she wished she could see again the most. She would never admit how much it stung.
Sometimes Kate forgot that Natasha wasn’t technically the Natasha from her world. She wasn’t the one who’d been lost for the sake of undoing Thanos’ Snap; she was the one who’d lost. Everyone who had ever been important to her had been taken by Ultron, and realizing that again made Kate realize how fortunate she was it had turned out so differently where she was from.
Missing her girlfriend, who had likely ended up home with her sister where she was at her happiest, felt a little petty in comparison. Not that she thought Nat would ever say that or ever even think it. She was too good to her.
She turned her head and looked up at Nat, reaching out to grab her hands and wind their fingers together. “I think Clint did the same thing, back home,” she told her. “Talked to you. I know I’m not him, but you can always talk to me, too. If you need someone.”
As Kate took her hand, Nat turned to meet her gaze. A small tickle of emotion rose at the back of her throat when the conversation turned to Clint. Out of habit, she instinctively pushed it down. Emotions were something for her to deal with in private. After a moment of consideration, however, Natasha decided against it. After everything they’d been through together here, she thought that perhaps Kate had more than earned the chance to see behind Natasha’s very high walls. “When and if you ever end up back there again, you promise to look after him for me?”
She squeezed Kate’s hand affectionately. “And I appreciate that, Kate. Thank you.”
A lump formed in Kate’s throat and she felt tears start pricking at her eyes, but she blinked them back and nodded, squeezing Nat’s hand right back. “Yeah, I will,” she assured her, quiet but fierce. “But even though I miss him, and I know you miss him, I hope Vallo isn’t in any rush to send me back. I’d rather be here. With you and Yelena. You guys are my family.”
Really, family was what she craved most. It had just been her and Eleanor for a long time, and while Kate loved her mom (even still, even knowing the mess she’d been tangled in for so many years), there had been tension and distance there long before everything changed at Christmas. Mobius and Nat and Yelena and James had been her second shot, and she’d never felt more loved and accepted.
“You’re our family too.” Family had always been something Natasha had searched for as well. She’d found variations on it over the years. Yelena, Alexei, and Melina. Clint, Laura, and the kids. The Avengers. Now here with Yelena, Kate, James, and everyone else in their orbit.
“But that doesn’t mean you get to borrow my motorcycle whenever you like.”
Kate giggled and rolled her eyes, bumping Nat’s shoulder with her own. “I’m not setting foot on that thing again until you get me the right colored helmet,” she declared, her grin wide. She knew that was Nat’s attempt to lighten the mood, and she fell right into it. Getting to have that talk actually had lifted her spirits. “You totally did that on purpose.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nat deadpanned with an air of faux innocence. “I thought pink was your color. I was going to paint your bedroom next.”
“You better not,” Kate huffed. Pepto-Bismol pink was not a shade she could stand waking up to every morning, but she knew Nat was kidding. Or so she hoped — she’d worry about that later. “Love you.”
Nat chuckled and gave Kate a shoulder bump for good measure. “Love you too.” She pushed herself back up to her feet and held her hand out to help Kate up. “Come on, let’s go grab some food. We can discuss interior design later.”
Kate’s hand clasped Nat’s, and she got to her feet, scooping up that bright pink helmet with her free hand. “Yes, please. If I ever say no to food, assume I’ve been body-snatched.” She grinned, looping her arm around Nat’s, and followed her into the house.