WHAT: Adora's having a Bad Time and lashes out at Catra; they take a few hours apart but make up in the end (mostly) WHERE: Darla (and Catra's briefly at a tavern) WHEN: This morning WARNINGS: Big emotions, anger, crying, much sad STATUS: Complete
The relief that had washed over Adora when Catra went from being her five-year-old best friend to her twenty-one-year-old wife again was downright euphoric. The moment the light had cleared, and the familiar form had come into view, sheâd grabbed her and started smattering her with kisses. Sheâd hugged her so tight that she eventually got smacked and told to ease up because she was squeezing too hard.
The next couple of days that followed had been blissful. She was so excited to have her wife back, and even when Catra teased her for being such a soft touch with her baby self, she didnât mind one bit. She was all smiles, blushing and clinging; it was true, after all. Sheâd tried her hardest to give little Catra all the fun things and kindness sheâd deserved and been deprived of when they were growing up in the Horde. She deserved the world then, and she deserved it now, and in Vallo, Adora was in the position to give it to her no matter her age.
Eventually, the euphoria began to fade a bit. Obviously, she was still happy to have Catra back to herself, but she was also kind of pissed off about the whole situation. And almost overnight, those wide smiles and heart eyes shifted to something tighter with a little irritation behind her eyes, no matter how much she actively tried to brush those feelings away.
Sheâd taken it out on Scorpia for the most part, gotten snappy with her for being the one to wield the ray gun and break it, but she knew better than that. She knew without Catra saying a word that the whole idea had been hers because she thought it was more efficient that way. Adora understood that; the work was a lot, and trudging through it wasnât a good time, but sometimes, that was just what had to be done. She and Catra had always conflicted on that point.
Still, she was trying not to let what she was feeling show. She knew none of what had happened had been purposeful, on either Catraâs or Scorpiaâs ends, so she was doing her best to let it go. Right now, that meant sitting outside while the sun was rising with a cup of steaming tea in her hands while watching the dogs in the fenced-in yard. She usually took Spirit for a run, but she hadnât even felt like doing that much. Luckily, Spirit could get his energy out with Pop Tart, and Abby sprawled out contentedly on top of her feet to spectate with her.
Thatâs the thing about being married to your person - your best friend since childhood, the one youâve grown up with and learned every quirk, tick, strength and flaw. When they were upset, you just knew.
Catra knew.
It wasnât anything terribly outward; a quiet simmer at best under the skin, on the precipice of becoming a full-blown boil but not quite. But she knew the tells; the way the muscles of her jaw would tighten, the strain of her smiles that stopped feeling genuine, the stiffness. Adora was upset and she was trying to sweep it all under the rug without talking about it.
Thatâs what made it worse. The not talking about it. Thatâs what made Catra believe - or know - that this was because of her. Didnât exactly yield happy, fluttery feelings. It was more like this goddamn dreaded knot weighing heavy in her stomach, gnarled and twisted. Itâs that feeling of I fucked up, again.
Catra didnât make herself coffee, didnât attempt breakfast - she just wanted to get it over with.
âHey,â she said, literally appearing from nowhere but thatâs because Melog had cloaked her the whole way here. Dropping herself next to Adora, she crossed her legs to where her knees were butterflied and bare feet were pressed against each other. âWe need to talk.â
Adora startled when her wife materialized beside her, nearly fumbling the mug of tea in her hands. She recovered before it actually spilled â although Abby looked at her with an air of disdain that cemented it had been an awfully close call. She set the mug aside and draped her arms across her raised knees.
âYeah. Can we start with how maybe you shouldnât roll up on me invisibly? Iâm gonna have a heart attack one of these days,â she joked breathlessly, turning to her with a tired smile. It was the best attempt she could muster to lighten the mood. âWe need to talkâ never meant anything good.
So there was no denying the need to talk, then. âSorry,â she answered nonchalantly, and that was maybe - half-genuine, if she were to be honest? Catra schooled herself into a more stoic posture for this. A still tail, still ears, fur that stayed smoothly flat and distinctly unruffled.
Might as well go right for the jugular.
âYouâre mad,â Catra began. âAt me. So just - tell me whatâs up and donât sugarcoat it? Youâve been trying to sugarcoat it for a few days now. Itâs weird, I donât like it, get it over with.â
âIâm not mad,â Adora protested immediately, automatically, but mildly. She wasnât mad at that moment, really, and she was trying her best not to be mad at all. She didnât see what good talking about it would do either one of them; theyâd just disagree and argue, or Catra would get hurt, and that wasnât what Adora wanted, ever.
She reached down to rub Abbyâs ears, keeping her eyes on the senior dog draped across legs. âIâm just tired,â she continued. âI havenât been sleeping too well.â It was an excuse, but it was true, too. She was back to tossing and turning most of the night; this morning, sheâd been up before the sun with only about four solid hours to claim.
Tired. Yeah. Catra understood. They shared the same losses, and with how they had all piled up on top of one another the emotional weight was heavy. Fixing up the Fright Zone was a project to take their mind off things and the last thing they had anticipated was for her body to go back in reverse and become tiny.
But that didnât distract from the fact that she knew Adora was upset. First, she wouldnât talk about it. Now, when she indirectly agreed that they did need to talk she was deflecting. Tired. Got it.
Catra kind of hated this.
âWell,â she decided, swallowing thickly before shifting to get up. There was this tight feeling in her chest she did not like, she would prefer if it wasnât there. âIâm just going to leave it alone if youâre tired. Find me whenever you decide youâre ready to talk.â If that ever happens. Catra wasnât holding her breath about it - how many times has she asked her to not shut her out, anyway? âIâm going out with Melog.â
Oh. Adora hadnât expected that, and she frowned when she realized Catra really was just going to get up and leave. Sheâd thought sheâd push her to speak up. She probably would have fought back, but she had figured it would be a push-and-pull until she broke in the end, as usual. It was exactly what she was trying to avoid.
And the fact that she successfully had avoided it, without all of that, was weird. It didnât sit right with her. She knew she needed to get this off her chest, no matter how much she didnât want to. Turns out Catraâs too-willing resignation was apparently a push in and of itself.
âOkay, fine. Iâm mad at you,â she admitted, reaching out to snag Catraâs arm and keep her down. âIf you hadnât gone looking for that stupid shrink ray because you didnât want me hauling around junk, none of what happened last week would have happened at all.â
She pressed her lips together and took a breath. She hadnât quite snapped, but sheâd come close to it. Even Abby looked over at her because her voice had risen. She tried her best to breathe and speak more calmly.
âEverything doesnât always have to be quick and easy, and I have no idea what you were thinking, letting Scorpia anywhere near a ray gun!â
No, Catra didnât allow herself to stay down but she didnât shake off Adoraâs grip, either. She scrutinized her, eyes narrowed into slits, and finally her tail moved. A single lash right before it went still again.
âIt was an accident,â she replied evenly, doing her best to keep her voice controlled. âThe reason why we went looking for it doesnât matter - no one could have guessed that would happen, Adora.â No one meant to be a damn inconvenience to you on purpose was what she wanted to say too but she bit her tongue. That didnât help matters and she didnât need to project her own insecurities about it and add fuel to the flame.
After a moment, she tugged her arm free. âIâm sorry the week was ruined. But since you can recognize that it is my fault, maybe you could apologize to Scorpia since sheâs the first one you put the blame on.â
Adora scoffed. She knew Catra was right. She owed Scorpia a big apology because, in the end, it was an accident. None of them could have ever foreseen this coming, but Scorpia was a convenient target for Adoraâs annoyance, and that wasnât fair. It was going to take her some time to come around, though; part of her still felt justified in what sheâd said.
âI didnât say the week was ruined, Catra. Iâm just saying I wish youâd thought it through more or at least let me know what you were doing so I could go with you.â Her arms dropped over her knees again, her hands balling up into fists for a moment before she forced out a breath and loosened them again. âIt freaked me out, okay? The whole thingâŠit was a lot.â
âYou act like we went off on some life or death mission,â Catra bit out with exasperation, rubbing her forehead with the back of her wrist. âI know this might sting for you but you donât know the Fright Zone like Scorpia and I do, okay? You being there isnât a guarantee for things turning out any differently. You wanting to be there is, what - let me guess, a control thing? Because you feel like you canât control things worth shit right now?â
That was her guess. Adora didnât like things being uncertain, and with all the disappearances theyâve dealt with it felt like everything was uncertain. What happened was just the stressful cherry on top that wasnât needed but happened anyway, and Catra couldnât change that.
But if Adora felt like throwing the blame on her, whatever. She could handle it and take it.
Adora laughed, but there was nothing joyful about it. The sound was short and harsh, and she looked away so she didnât have to meet Catraâs eyes. She couldnât say her control freak tendencies didnât factor into this was the thing. And she wanted to. She wanted to say it had nothing to do with this situation, but it had everything to do with it.
Catra had hit the bullseye, as she always did, and right now, Adora hated that.
âSometimes I just wish we could go back home,â she admitted quietly, after a few silent moments had stretched out before them. Spirit came trotting over to her and she reached out to pet his ears. âMaybe then I wouldnâtâŠbe this way.â
Bingo. The usual culprit.
âYes, because youâre guaranteed to be able to control every single aspect of life back home too,â came Catraâs retort, crossing her arms over her chest. She was staying put on her feet, Melogâs presence shimmering in and out of visibility. âYou focus so much on what you canât control and lose sight of everything else. Of what you can control, or what maybe just isnât yours to control to begin with. Things have sucked lately, and Iâm sorry Iâm not enough to fix it for you and thatâs - thatâs fine, I donât expect to be the solution to all your problems. But maybe you should talk to someone about this if you feel like itâs starting to get to you again. Someone who can help.â
Communication still wasnât Adoraâs greatest strength. She had gotten much better over time, but there were still moments like this where she felt paralyzed. Like she was completely incapable of saying what she was feeling, what she wanted or needed. It was a bad feeling, especially when she knew her incompetence was hurting Catra.
The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Catra. But she knew she had, in the past. She worried she was now, too.
There was a petty, dark little part of her that wanted to snap at Catra for pawning her off on someone else, like she couldnât handle her. Thankfully, the more mature part of her (even as it wallowed in grief and too much stress) recognized how awful that would be. She was upset right now, but leaning into it too hard could do damage she could never fix. That was the last thing she wanted. She loved her wife, even when she was furious with her.
âOkay,â was her response in the end. Her lips trembled, and she had to take a deep, slow breath to keep the tears welling up from falling. âIâm sorry. Itâs not that youâre not enough. Iâm justâ Everything feels broken right now.â
âDo you want to leave?â Thatâs what she felt Melog ask. They were there, mane oscillating into different shapes - the rounded wobbles, a spike here and there. Sometimes the tint would change but it never reflected anything drastic. There was a conflict happening, and, yeah, there was a part of Catra a little wounded by this. If there was one thing she could recall from being a child, it was this: being responsible for things she had no intention of causing, and having someone she cared about upset at her for it.
Still, the answer she gave to Melog was no.
âBut itâs not.â Catraâs demeanor hadnât changed much - it was a little stoic, a little cold, but the way she dropped back down onto the ground meant she was staying for the time being. This time she sat in front of Adora, though there was distance. âThereâs things we canât fix for each other. Things weâre not supposed to fix for each other anyway - I donât think thatâs how any of this works. I still have you, and you still have me, and we have all of this.â
Catra gestured grandly at everything. Darla, the damn zoo they had outside hanging around them. The fenced yard she and Adam put together. This was home, and they had made it for themselves and they still had it, and for Adora to say everything feels broken right now?
Yeah. Catra couldnât do anything about that. Nothing that she hasnât already done; she was here, she was trying, she was always trying.
âAnd maybe youâre just having a bad day, or weeks, and this will just get resolved with time - I donât know. All Iâm saying is that it wouldnât hurt to check in with someone if it helps, okay?â
âOkay,â Adora murmured again. Spirit and Abby had wandered off, leaving less obstructions between Catra and herself, even if there was still a bit of space there. She nudged gently at Catraâs foot with her own and tucked her chin into her hands as she looked at her. The anger was dissipating, leaving just this void of sad and guilt that she actually wanted to shake off â if that was possible.
âJames recommended someone else I can see when IâŠleft,â she continued, her voice rising to a more normal level again. Nothing accusatory or mean-spirited anymore; instead, it wavered while she tried to get ahold of herself, but her volume was moderate. âI should probably see if I can set up an appointment.â
That was part of why sheâd been faltering, she was sure. Seeing a psychiatrist and being on actual meds for the downright crippling anxiety she dealt with had been a huge help to her. She just hadnât felt comfortable staying with him when he and Leon split up. Sheâd had to step away and find someone removed. It wasnât that he wasnât a nice guy and very helpful, but it felt weird enough seeing him when he was actually dating Leon.
She was determined to get herself put together, though. Catra shouldnât have to keep dealing with her like this, and she shouldnât keep letting herself get like this. She did love their home here. She loved their family. She loved that they had forged friendships and relationships with people theyâd never even have gotten the chance to know back on Etheria. Losing so many people all at once had taken its toll, but she needed the reminder that it wasnât unbeatable.
âIâm sorry I snapped at you. And at Scorpia,â she sighed at last. âIâllâŠtext her and apologize. It really didnât ruin anything when you were running around here little, I didnât mean anything like that. But I was kinda terrified I wouldnât get this you back.â
âI forgive you,â she answered simply with a shrug. Catra meant it. Melog wasnât showing any signs of contradiction either, though their posture was very guarded. Adora was having a rough time, there was no use in holding a grudge about this - and she knew the apology was genuine. The nudge on the foot though felt like an olive branch extended, and while appreciated, it wasnât reciprocated. Not metaphorically speaking (because, again, no grudges) but she didnât seem all that receptive to touch right now. Space was preferred. âBut Iâm back. Someone would have fixed it in some way or form because itâs Vallo and the options are almost infinite.â
Some grass blades were idly plucked from the ground as she thought.
âAnd if that person doesnât pan out then - tell me,â Catra continued. âWe can always find someone whoâs a better fit. Whatever works, right? Thereâs always going to be some trial and error with this kind of stuff.â
Adora knew there were always going to be times Catra needed to take some space. She could tell when her little poke didnât result in some of the distance being closed, now was one of those times. She took the cue to leave her alone; she couldnât very well blame her for not really wanting to be near her after sheâd just taken her through a roller coaster of insane emotional turmoil. It stung, but she cleared her throat into her fist and tried her best to mask that feeling.
âI will,â she said with a nod, lifting her eyes back to Catraâs face to study her. âI wish I could just stay with James, but it doesnât really feel right.â
There was bound to be someone out there who can handle the variety of complexes sheâd acquired over the years. Dan had been all ready to refer her to one, so she knew she had options other than James. She just needed to stop brooding and go see what was out there.
âWayyyy awkward to do that,â Catra snorted, and she looked almost amused but that wasnât quite right. There wasnât much she was giving away expression-wise, and it wasnât indifference because that would imply she didnât care but it was - something. Like a cautious sort of softness that was vulnerable but not. âStaying with James would be easier but if itâs not feeling right because of everything then - yeah, donât. He can give the next person your information so youâre not totally starting from scratch. You donât have to do anything today, either.â
With that, she rose to her feet. It was early but she seemed dressed for the day anyway - just some leggings, a loose-crop top. She was even wearing flip-flops, which was the only footwear she even mildly tolerated. âIâm still gonna go out with Melog for a bit, though.â They stood up on all fours too on their mountable size, and she smoothed a hand over their mane. âI just⊠think some space today might do us good.â
Catra felt like she needed it. She had spent the past few days in the shadow of Adoraâs annoyance, and the feeling that had left behind wasnât so great. But sheâd sort it out and get over it.
Adora nodded without a word. What was she supposed to say? Sheâd created this entire situation, making Catra feel horrible, because she felt out of control and she needed someone to lash out at. Scorpia hadnât deserved the first bout of it, and Catra definitely hadnât deserved what sheâd done to her the past few days. She needed to get back to handling her own emotions like an adult; sheâd done a terrible job of it recently.
âBe careful,â she said, pushing herself to her feet. She didnât reach out for Catra, but she gave Melogâs mane a stroke â a gesture meant both for them and for Catra. âIâm gonna go grab an edible and maybe not be so horrible by the time you get back.â
It was meant as a joke, followed with a cracked smile, but her voice was weak, tired, and full of regret. She knew her behavior had been the worst, and while she yearned to grab onto Catra and cling to her until she forgave her, she was doing her best to be good. If she needed space, Adora would give her space without inflicting any of her feelings on her.
âYouâre not horrible,â Catra snapped and - yeah, it was kind of sudden but she didnât mean it in some nasty, fed-up way either. Melogâs mane briefly spiked too. âI love you, dummy. Weâre going to be okay. Just take a small piece and go back to bed. You need sleep, and by the time you wake up Iâll probably be back. Alright?â
She wasnât going to be gone all day. Time here could be short, and she wasnât going to waste it on distance - she just needed some time to take a deep breath and feel better. She mounted Melog with a graceful leap, and before they even took one step away -
Melog leaned forward, and licked Adoraâs cheek.
That was from Catra.
Adoraâs heart clenched in her chest, and before Melog could race off, she wrapped her arms around their neck and squeezed gently. There were definitely tears spattering her cheeks now, but she wasnât falling apart, no worries about that â her smile was much more genuine as she looked up at her wife on her companionâs back.
âSmall piece and sleep,â she conceded. She could use some sleep. The âtiredâ wasnât just an excuse, after all, and maybe sheâd be a little less of an emotional wreck with some more rest. Sheâd learned to sleep more deeply here, and going without did a number on her. âI love you, too. Iâll see you later.â
She pulled back, whistled to the dogs to bring them in, and ushered them all up the ramp, turning just in time to see Catra and Melog bounce over the fence and disappear into the forest.
In reality, Catra disappeared to mope.
It felt dumb. Like, it accomplished literally zero to just sit there and brew in your feelings, but thatâs what she went to do - somewhere in one of the forestâs pockets of civilizations, a tavern that was open around the clock so, behold, hitting up its bar in the piss hours of the morning wasnât entirely bizarre.
Sad, maybe.
But wasnât that the mood.
She had no plans to get obliterated, mind you. That would help nothing, no one. Melog climbed up onto the stool next to her (a strangely perfect fit), and she ordered them some milk in a mug while she got a beer and, well. There was a pencil she jacked from the bartender, and there were empty napkins.
So. She doodled. Ground-breaking, wasnât it?
Catra just fucking doodled, barely sipping her beer. It was a lot of nonsense. Doodles of Adora and her wretched Horde bangs, doodles of Bow and Glimmer in her iconic cartoon style. Doodles of Adam, Teela; Perfuma and Scorpia. Finn. Alfie, or at least the details she could remember. Her and Adora again, this time with Finn - who Future Adora claimed was inevitable.
She wasnât sure if she believed that anymore. It didnât have anything to do with her and Adora, just...
âItâs not that you arenât enough for her,â Melog translated, a mix of words and feelings. They knew, of course - every emotion swirling in her, the good and the bad. The ones about her self-worth, the insecurity about not being enough. Catra always battled that one hard when it came to Adora and she was grappling with it now too. No matter how hard she tried, her wife wasnât happy.
It was this awful, helpless feeling. It was that old voice telling her you arenât good enough for her.
Melog hit her with their paw.
âHey!â Catra glared.
âControl. Losing it. Fear. It is not you.â
âI know,â she mumbled irritably under her breath. Melog whacked her again. âHey - I know, okay? My brain knows that.â Catra knew Adora didnât like feeling this way; that she always struggled not having her hand on the metaphorical wheel of life. It made her anxious, made her feel like there was something wrong with her - that she was broken. Catra wasnât a stranger to that shitty feeling.
Gods, they really werenât that different most of the time.
Still, Catra needed time to shed her own shitty feelings. Shake off the insecurities, and remember that taking this personally - even if Adora had been mad at her - wasnât helping matters. Again, time was short. Time here wasnât guaranteed even if they didnât live in a fickle world that could pull them apart the next day. She wasnât going to spend the majority of the day wallowing in here. The (cheap) tab was paid, and the two went off.
Home wasnât the immediate destination. They had taken a detour to a nearby market for browsing - it was mindless at first, meant to keep the thoughts from worsening into a deeper spiral but it had hit her with inspiration. Cheesy, stupid, probably pointless inspiration that came from all the dumbshit romantic comedies she was always a sucker for. Why the fuck not?
Itâs why when she came home, went into their quarters and quietly slipped into bed with her wife - molding her front to her back, circling an arm around her - that she held a bouquet of sunflowers right below her nose.
âHey,â Catra whispered into her ear. âAdoraaaa.â
Adora was true to her word. After making sure all the animals were inside and settled, their water bowls clean and pouring fresh water (they had a bunch of those ones that were like little fountains, constantly cycling), she went into the kitchen and took a piece of one of her edible gummies. A small one, as promised â she even bent over the counter with a butter knife in hand and carved out exactly a quarter of the little round thing.
It hadnât taken long for the comfortable high to settle over her, to mute all of those bad feelings, empty her head, and fill her with a fuzzy warmth.
And that feeling was what sent her off to bed to curl up on her side of the bed with a weighted blanket Alex had gifted her for her birthday. Any wisps of anxiety that remained faded away, and within minutes, she had fallen asleep.
She wasnât alone when Catra came home. Ivy was curled up above her head, and Spirit had nudged her back from the edge of the bed while she slept by wedging himself along what had been only a crevice of space. She fell into that deep sleep she needed, her dreams nothing more than warm colors occasionally blending together.
She stirred awake slowly when she heard her name reverberating in her ear. Her nose wrinkled up when she became conscious enough to smell, at first overwhelmed by the scent before she started to wake up and could take it in. She blinked slowly, surprised to see a bouquet of sunflowers right in front of her face and feel a warm weight pressing into her back.
âMm,â she hummed, wrapping her hand gently around the hand that held the flowers. âCatra?â
Catra probably should let her sleep, come to think of it. The option was always there - sheâd leave her be if she was still too drowsy to attempt the whole wake up thing right now. âJust wanted to let you know Iâm back,â she said quietly, settling to bury her nose into the nape of her neck. âAnd I got you these, uh - flowers? Plus chocolate, but from an actual bakery and not the pharmacy. And a few chocolate unicorn strawberries.â
The boxes were set on their nightstand already but she could always put them in the fridge so they wouldnât melt. Come to think of it, Catra was probably being too extra for an Adora that was barely conscious from an edible-induced nap. Shit. She should have thought this through better.
âFor later, though. Go back to sleep.â
âNo, donât go,â Adora pleaded, her voice still a bit slurred. She blinked rapidly to wake herself up and carefully took the sunflowers to hold against her chest. Then she turned to face Catra, pressing their foreheads together and slowly breathing in her wifeâs scent. She could already smell her all around her, embedded into their bed sheets even when they were freshly washed. But her heart fluttered madly in her chest now that the source of that scent was here, curling up against her.
âYou really got me all that stuff?â she questioned, quiet and slightly disbelieving. There was a very good chance she was going to cry just at the thought; after how sheâd acted this morning, there was no way she deserved anything so sweet. Even the sunflowers were too much after how awful sheâd been.
âNope, got it for my other wife,â Catra quipped, propping up her head with the strength of her elbow and hand. This gave her a better view of Adora anyway, all sleepy with mussed hair - there was a pang of regret having woken her up. âYes, dummy. Itâs for you.â
Exchanging flowers, chocolates? They werenât that couple. Mainly because they didnât really know that couples did that until they saw it regularly happen in the media they consumed. The custom was weird yet sweet. It wasnât anything she thought to attempt before but considering things had been weird, why not try to be sweet? Or - something.
She was trying. That was the best she could do for Adora in every aspect of their relationship. Try.
Adora flopped back onto her back, pressing her nose against the sunflowersâ bright yellow petals. âI donât deserve it,â she murmured, looking up at Catra with blue eyes a tad glassy. She wouldnât allow herself to cry, but her chest still tightened like it could happen at any moment. This time, though, the feelings werenât bad; she was overwhelmingly happy.
âI should be the one getting you flowers and chocolates,â she persisted, freeing one hand to offer to Catra. âI was such a jerk, and Iâm really, really sorry.â
âYou need to stop thinking that things are always deserved, Adora,â she whispered, letting the little jokes die - those and what she had brought were ways of showing her that they were okay. That she meant what she said before she mounted Melog and left. Sometimes they were going to need space from each other in this marriage and that was fine. They were always coming back to each other anyway.
Catra took her hand, threading their fingers together loosely. âI can make the argument that you do deserve all the damn flowers and candy you want - but I didnât get any of it because of that. I just⊠thought you might need it today?â she offered carefully. âPlus, I wanted to. Iâve never gotten you flowers before and itâs like⊠I donât know, a thing. I didnât know if you would like it. It was worth a try.â
Judging from her reaction she had done well. She wasnât a fan of the overwhelming wetness in her eyes but she figured it wasnât all out of grief.
Letting go of the âdeservingâ factor of these things wasnât easy for Adora. She agreed that she should, but it was another thing that was a process for her. Sheâd had to work for things, earn them, most of her life. She-Ra had been the exception, but even she had come with an enormous amount of pressure and responsibility that Adora struggled to handle at the best of times. Sheâd gotten better over the years, but being a de facto Rebellion leader hadnât exactly done her anxious tendencies any good either.
The tears in this case, however, really were happy. Most of those bad emotions remained dulled at the moment, from the edible high combined with how hard sheâd been sleeping. She still felt undeserving of Catra being so nice to her but not in a cripplingly terrible way.
âThank you,â she said softly. âI love you so much. You didnât have to, butâŠI appreciate it a lot.â A smile that was half-shy, half-teasing curled her lips. âAre you gonna ask me to prom next?â
âI meannnnâŠâ Catra smirked, leaning down to press a kiss between her eyes. A mental note was made to make the flowers a semi-regular thing if she liked it so much. In a lot of societies it was apparently considered, like, peak romance or whatever. âOur last prom was a disaster so I might want a do-over one day. I know that suit did it for you.â
After dropping her hand she reached up, smoothing the mess of her wifeâs bed hair with a gentle rake of her claws. Adora seemed a little better. The nap was probably a big help, and Dan always talked about how adequate sleep could drastically improve mental health. âI love you too, dummy. Want me to romance you even more by hand-feeding you chocolate in bed?â
She briefly pulled away to get the box. It was kinda large, packaged with a fancy bow and all she had to do was lift the lid to show off the goods. Lots of heart-shaped molds with a mix of milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate - some crunchy, some filled with salted caramel or peanut butter. The unicorn strawberries were scattered throughout.
A pleased hum left Adora when Catra dropped that kiss between her eyes. She reached out to reciprocate the hair stroking, gently looping a few locks of that long, chocolatey mane around her fingers and gazing up at her with a lovestruck smile. She was hopelessly in love with this woman, she really was. Sometimes, in the bad, spiral-y times, she didnât think about that, about how lucky she was to have her, how far theyâd come together. But right now, it was all she could think about.
And the reminder of the suit Catra had worn to Princess Prom? Well, that certainly didnât help matters, just made her face flush deeper red in a manner that could only be taken as confirmation. She always loved Catra in a suit, and that had been the first one sheâd seen her in. There was definitely a spot in her heart (and her memories) dedicated to how frustratingly gorgeous her best-friend-turned-enemy had looked that night.
Sheâd have to ask Glimmer about hosting a Princess Prom later on this year. She had no doubt her best friend would do it in a heartbeat if she asked.
She nearly protested the offer of hand-feeding, though. She knew Catra had forgiven her for being an ass, but it still didnât feel right to allow her to pamper her so much. But before she could get a word out of her mouth, she had rolled over to grab a big box of chocolates and pulled back the lid to show off the variety of chocolates and the unicorn strawberries (so cute!) inside.
Adora gaped for a long, drawn-out moment â then, she promptly burst into tears.
Yikes.
That⊠wasnât the reaction Catra had expected, but it wasnât one she had necessarily ruled out either. So she wasnât feeling that much better - she could work with that. The box was set safely on the bed to avoid anything being tipped over and falling out, and she sat up to get more comfortable and justâŠ
Rub Adoraâs back through it. Telling her not to cry was pointless. There clearly was something to cry about; there was nothing wrong with letting it out in the safety of their bedroom.
âDonât worry,â she hushed. âI wonât tell Swift Wind youâre gonna eat food that looks like him. Itâll make him feel a little weird and probably betrayed.â
Some humor wouldnât hurt. If she could get Adora to get smiley over flowers then maybe she could make her laugh about something so absolutely stupid.
The joke worked. A peal of laughter broke through the sob that wracked through her, and Adora realized she was acting like a big, overemotional idiot again. She forced herself to take a deep breath before pushing up on her elbows and easing up into a sitting position. Spirit stirred beside her when she stretched past him to lay her bouquet on her bedside table, and she gave him a quick, reassuring pat.
âSorry, sorry,â she apologized to Catra, lifting her hands to her face to rub away the tears. âIâm okay, I just⊠I really donât deserve you.â She reached out to take both of Catraâs hands and meet her eyes, smiling at her tenderly. âYouâre everything to me. You know that, right? Iâm sorry Iâm such a big emotional freak.â
âOof, Adora, how dare you have feelings,â Catra teased her in this quiet, soft kind of way that was every bit affectionate with zero judgment - none. Most of her own problems in life were because she was also a big emotional freak, driving her to hurt others just so someone else could feel a fraction of what she felt. Adora was fine. Sometimes feelings were messy and they could be a lot. She wasnât perfect.
Hell, she vastly preferred a flawed Adora over the perfect, can-do-no-wrong version people tried to mold her in and cement on a pedestal. That was always her Adora; a bit neurotic with the best intentions, and with grace and tact of a battle tank that was sometimes too impulsive and was hilariously vain over her hair.
Catra drew her in for a kiss, a gentle press of lips that was simple and chaste but somehow still conveyed a lot. She didnât want to overwhelm or be too much. âYouâre okay. You donât need to keep apologizing, just assume youâve got a blanket of forgiveness already.â Pressing her back into the headboard of the bed, she opened up her arms and tugged her in for a hug. âSo come here, Iâm putting on something dumb to watch and Iâm still feeding you chocolate.â
There wasnât a modicum of hesitance or reluctance as Adora moved into Catraâs arms, pleasantly dazed by the kiss, tender as it was. She dropped her head onto her wifeâs shoulder, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pressed her nose into the fabric of her shirt. She needed all of this more than she could say.
âThank you,â she murmured, tilting her head up to meet Catraâs eyes with a soft smile. âAnd seriously, letâs keep the unicorn strawberries to ourselves. Swift Wind would definitely not approve.â