WHO: Marina & Eleanor WHEN: Tuesday, May 24 WHERE: Marina’s penthouse WHAT: Discussing moving in together TRIGGERS: Nothing super much?
Eleanor knew she probably should have replied to Marina's texts as to not leave her girlfriend hanging, but she'd been out gathering coffee and breakfast burritos before heading to the penthouse, and by the time she was standing still enough to text, she was knocking on the door instead.
So it was with a slightly sheepish and apologetic smile that she held up breakfast and said, "That is JG every morning." The latest text had been a cat meme about a cat trying to slide into the bathroom, and JG was known to meow in dismay if left abandoned on the other side of the door.
"Anyway, I had an idea I wanted to run by you, so I brought breakfast."
Marina had been a few minutes from showing up at Eleanor’s apartment once she hadn’t replied. So when she heard a knock at the door, she was surprised to see Eleanor there and with food. She could have at least sent a laugh emoji. But she didn’t say that. She fought against the urge to say anything cold and distant, which was hard because she just said it usually. But she was trying to be less…that. For Eleanor. But not because Eleanor had asked her to. Just because she didn’t actually want to destroy everything she had and she’d already seen her cry anyway. Thank the gods for waterproof mascara.
“That is JG every morning,” she said, taking one of the coffees and the bag of food. She stepped back, studying Eleanor for a long moment as she tried to figure out what this “idea” was and why it involved breakfast. Was this an apology, a bribe, or both?
“What sort of idea?”
"Rather than having to text me every morning that I don't spend the night here, why don't I just move in?" She left part of that thought unsaid, but if Marina had thought she was being sly with her morning check-ins to make sure Eleanor hadn't disappeared, she was very much mistaken. And frankly, the only reason to keep the status quo was space and the penthouse was big enough that there was room for the both of them, if and when they wanted space.
She tried to look casual as she took a sip of her coffee, but she was probably failing, as she really didn't know how Marina was going to react to that idea.
Marina was still. She’d considered, briefly, (before Eleanor left the first time) asking her to move in. She hadn’t let herself think about it since then. Not really. Her expression was shuttered, but that was more to keep from letting any of her emotions on the matter to slip out before she was ready for it.
“Is this because you’re tired of the texts? Or are you just getting lazy about going back and forth?” Because she was not going to easily admit to using it as a check in habit. After Eleanor leaving once, she was perhaps slightly paranoid about it and it would benefit her only needing to open her eyes or turn over when she woke up. “Cause they are excellent texts and I think the one about Violet being cheated was well thought out and thought provoking.”
"I'm never tired of texts from you," Eleanor replied easily. "And that was a well-argued position on Violet. But I am lazy and I much rather wake up next to you on any day of the week."
Because it wasn't just Marina checking in on her. It was also Eleanor's desire to spend as much time as possible with Marina, when they'd just been reminded that Vallo wasn't guaranteed. She didn't want to run from that and instead she wanted to embrace whatever time they did have and make the most of it.
"Also your liquor supply is way better," El said, keeping it light.
Marina considered her words, studying her expression at the same time. “Who would choose Charlie when you could choose Violet? Also Grandpa Joe is the worst. It’s not great that he can walk when he’d been able to do it that whole time and just didn’t.” She made a face before redirecting her thoughts to the situation at hand. Right. Moving in together. The idea of waking up next to Eleanor felt weirdly warm and Marina had to frown momentarily at the feeling because it was weird and it felt weird as well.
“Of course my liquor is better. It’s the best stuff.” But she hadn’t responded yet about whether or not it was okay for Eleanor to move in. She glanced around at the penthouse, hearing a series of meows. She took a sip of coffee and turned her attention back to Eleanor. “Okay,” she said after a minute. “At least JG and FB are used to BS anyway.”
"I still can't believe you nicknamed Bruiser BS," Eleanor replied, trying to mask her response, but she failed. Miserably. She was grinning at the idea of taking this next step, so far removed from the person who she once was. There was something about having found this more than once, of having found more than one person she was willing to share most aspects of her life with.
For that, she could never regret finding herself in Vallo again.
"Honestly, I'm holding back from going to get all of my things right now," she mentioned.
Marina wasn’t going to pretend that she wasn’t anxious about this. Or…at least she wasn’t going to pretend to herself. She might pretend to everyone else because it seemed likely to reveal that she was worried and that she actually cared - which she did. She shrugged at the comment about Bruiser’s nickname. “Are you really surprised when I already have FB and JG?” Fucking Bert took a long time to say and she would never admit to Julia Goolia’s name. Bruiser Shellstrop made it easy to nickname Bruiser BS. “It’s not surprising. I think you’re lying about that.”
She rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a smile. “At least it’s not a lot of things to move.” Unless she’d bought a lot of things for some reason. “It would probably be a lot to move out of nowhere, but you could probably get Jason and DJ Flippers to help you carry things and we could probably bribe Dorian to show up for it.” Sure, she could just use magic for this, but she felt like Dorian would get some joy out of this and he’d asked her for assistance anyway, so he owed her.
"With a small moving party afterward?" Eleanor may have been pushing her luck but also asking was its own form of joy.
Marina squinted her eyes at Eleanor. “Who would be there? Because you’re more friendly with the people from home than I am and I don’t know how much time I can spend around them before I have to know only FB, JG, and maybe BS.” She definitely wasn’t in a rush to be around any of them and she didn’t really know everyone who knew Eleanor. “Also they can’t touch my things.” A pause. “Except the dishware, I guess.” She made a mental note to hide the cat mugs. No one could know.
Eleanor grinned. "It would be small. Just a couple people. Sophie, Fen, Margo... Dorian, Kenzi, Laurence, Colt, Jason, DJ Flippers, their plus ones. Well not the penguin's. No one needs to know what Jason would have DJ Flippers bring as a date."
Sure that was more than a couple people, but it was still small. Really that number had dwindled as people had disappeared. "I'm sure I'm forgetting people, though."
She wouldn’t call that small. She had already mentally added Tony’s stupid name to her list and James. She rolled her eyes at the thought. “Fine.” At least she wouldn’t be made to suffer Ghost Two or Emo Hair. “Who is Fen again?” Did she care all that much? No. Then again, she might need to figure out if she had to lean into a threat or not.
“We could just forget everyone and celebrate alone.” But she knew she’d let this party happen even if she didn’t really feel like parties when you couldn’t steal someone’s shit. It was all her shit and she’d have to kill someone for stealing her shit. “I’ll figure out food.” She had the alcohol figured out.
"We can do that too," Eleanor promised, looking around the penthouse that had always been Marina's. It was going to be their place and the very thought made her gleeful. But for Marina, that was no small step, something Eleanor was acutely aware of. "If you really don't want a party, we don't have to have one," she conceded.
Marina didn’t make a face even if she wanted to. She knew Eleanor wanted a party and, even if she hated the idea of people in her house, she guessed she could deal with that. “I’m already ordering shrimp,” she lied as she picked up her phone. “I don’t think they’ll let me get my money back for it. So I guess you have to have it.”
One of the criticisms Eleanor often received from Marina was that Marina didn't appreciate it when Eleanor looked at her a certain way. But she couldn't help it now, that lie about already ordering shrimp just served to remind El how lucky she was.
"You're lying, but I love you for it," she said, not even trying to hide the smile that had formed.
Marina glanced up, rolling her eyes. A lot of her insistence was due to a level of discomfort that she felt. If she was more introspective, she might come to the conclusion that it was a long time lacking positive emotions and interactions with other people. It was why the softness and “goodness” of the pod version of herself was so disconcerting. She didn’t like to see the vulnerability in herself.
“I’ve never lied a day in my life. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She affected a look of innocence. She didn’t frown outwardly at the feeling in her stomach, but she frowned on the inside. “I love you, too.” She felt the weight of the words, but she meant them all the same. “Even if your obsession with shrimp is concerning and your desire for parties makes no sense.”
Eleanor had a reply ready to Marina's lie about lying but she quickly forgot all about it as her girlfriend spoke four particular words, freezing Eleanor in place. They were unexpected, but El knew that there was no way they would be tossed about carelessly.
No, Marina had chosen her words carefully.
Her breakfast and coffee were quickly discarded as she slipped her arms around Marina, kissing her once before suggesting, "Maybe breakfast can wait?"
Because there was zero chance Eleanor was allowing the moment to slide, but she didn't have to focus on it with more words. Those four had said enough.
Eleanor’s full stop was enough to make it at least somewhat entertaining. To take the edge off the overall awkwardness she felt now that it was out there. As much as she definitely meant to say them, it didn’t mean they settled easily into who she was.
So she was definitely on board with not talking about it with words. “That’s what microwaves are for,” she said as affirmation, leaning in to kiss her girlfriend. They had the entire penthouse to themselves now and she was happy to take advantage of that.