hope/ava.
They never taught me to be anything else. But I'm trying things. I got a job.
Bad enough that I was experimenting on myself with equipment that I'd been stealing out of labs. Bad enough that I had to ask for help when I screwed some of it up and couldn't even use my hands to fix what I'd done. Bad enough that I fucked up my attempt at asking somebody else for help and got myself publicly blasted for it instead.
But not bad enough to kill anyone over it. It's the pain more than anything. I spent a week here as a six year old. The sudden switch back made it painfully clear how much I've deteriorated. I think having the stabilization chamber back will at least... help. It's been so hard to sleep.