Eleanor checked the time. If she was guessing correctly, Marina wouldn't have left for work yet. Of course, that assumed a normal schedule and nothing was normal anymore. If Vallo had been a trip the first time through, it was something else entirely this time around, and Eleanor hadn't even begun to wrap her head around it.
After a precursory trip through the DOA she'd headed straight for the penthouse, only briefly considering stopping to see Jason first. That was likely to end with her being sidetracked for an indefinite period of time so she'd find him after. Hell, she might actually need to find him and DJ Flippers after seeing Marina. How did one go up to their girlfriend… ex-girlfriend? They hadn't exactly broken up.
Either way, how was she supposed to break the news that she was back and apologize for disappearing even when she'd had no say in it? To the one person who had started to trust that things might have been working out?
Yeah, Eleanor was nervous. But that didn't stop her from knocking on the door to the penthouse, hoping it would be Marina who answered.
It was, though Eleanor found herself momentarily at a loss of what to say, before she finally worked out, "Hi?"
Marina was tired. She’d been working as much and as often as she could. Kenzi had a habit of not letting her work every night. She’d done it before and she’d do it again was how she was thinking of it, but she was not dealing with that now. She’d at least had her coffee and something to eat before the entire world came crashing down on her in an instant.
She heard the knock at the door, assuming it was Jason again because he’d ran out of sugar cereal. She’d kept a box or two stashed in a cupboard for him now since Eleanor left, so she reached up to grab the box before making the way to the door to open it.
It wasn’t Jason.
“Oh. It’s you.” Considering the fact that she’d come here, Marina knew she remembered her. There was a part of her that wanted to reach out and pull her in closer, but she pushed that down into the recesses of her mind and settled on the aloof and generally unbothered version of her that she used to protect herself in these moments. Was it a form of self sabotage as well? Perhaps, but she didn’t care.
Honestly, that wasn't the worst possible reception she could get, and Eleanor shrugged sheepishly. "Surprise? I came to check on my clown portrait."
She didn't actually expect that Marina would have had one done but neither would she be surprised to learn she had. That was the nature of Marina, and of their relationship. Or at least, it had been.
Everything seemed completely unsettled at the moment, and Eleanor had a million things she wanted to say but when she opened her mouth to speak no words immediately followed.
Marina looked at her for a minute before pulling back from the door. She sat the cereal down on the counter before disappearing into a room. When she came back, she had a box and the clown portrait. She set them both down outside the door before moving to get Bruiser, who squirmed as she picked her up.
“You left this behind, too,” she said as she held out the cat.
There was a pause. “Was there anything else? I have things to do today and I need to get going.”
There was a portrait. And it was hideous. Eleanor almost jumped upon looking at herself painted up as a clown. Of course Marina had gone ahead in fulfilling that threat. Why would she even have doubted that.
But the searching look she was giving Marina after the portrait and box were unceremoniously disposed of was briefly interrupted by Bruiser. "Hey there," she greeted the kitten, taking her into her arms. The kitten settled, which was far more than she could say about herself.
"That's it?" she asked, trying and failing miserably to stop herself from revealing how much that question had stung.
Marina forced herself to keep looking at Eleanor in that moment. She wasn’t the person that Anna believed her to be and she knew that, but it didn’t stop her from summoning up that person. “Like I said, I’ve got a lot of things to do.” As if that was explanation enough for what was going on. It wasn’t that she’d felt her heart break another time and lost another person. Did she really need to know how it felt to lose Eleanor again? No. She didn’t want to know it and so she’d not care until she meant it.
“I’ll let Dorian know you’re back. I’m sure you can find Jason on your own.”
Maybe if finding herself back in Vallo hadn't been a complete shock to her system, or maybe if she didn't have Bruiser to consider, or if she didn't know that at least Jason would be happy to see her back, Eleanor would have insisted on staying.
"My old apartment was free," she said. And clown-free, none of the fake good place clowns having found their way to her wall again. Vallo must have cleared them out and Eleanor was intent on keeping it that way. This portrait was going to be unceremoniously left behind. She reached precariously for the box, and then looked at Marina.
"This is a lot. Maybe we can give it some time and then talk?" she asked as Bruiser started trying to climb up onto her shoulder.
Marina was quiet as Eleanor mentioned the old apartment. She didn’t really know what to say about it or anything else and she was already carefully aware that people were going to be messaging her again to check in on her. Maybe she’d make Dorian reply on her behalf so she didn’t need to look at it or set up automatic responses.
“I’ll see if I have time, but I’m pretty busy these days, so I can’t promise anything.” She knew it was perhaps a bit of an overreaction…all of this. Still…she wasn’t going to let that change her reaction. She was going to need to text Dorian eventually. “Anyway…goodbye, I suppose? I’m sure Bruiser needs to get inside soon so she doesn’t escape into who knows where.”
In a sense, Marina's detachedness was familiar and expected, but that didn't stop Eleanor from giving her one more searching look, as if she might find answers for questions she hadn't yet articulated within the other woman's eyes.
"Thanks for taking care of her," she offered. This wasn't all that was left between them, she couldn't believe that, but it would have to do for now. And if she was being honest with herself, it was somewhat of a relief. She'd not wanted Marina to hear from anyone else that she was back, but she hadn't processed everything herself yet.
Even if there was a part of her that had hoped maybe they could have worked through everything together only to be brushed off. The rejection stung, but she managed not to lash out and perpetuate the cycle further. She needed to walk away.
"I'll talk to you later," Eleanor stated, not a question. She hoped it came across with more confidence than she felt, and then she turned and walked down toward the elevator, Bruiser meowing as they left both Marina and that hideous painting behind.
Marina took the painting back inside, determined to find something to do with it, but the minute the door shut, all of the show of strength she’d put up came crumbling down and she sat down on the couch, brow furrowed and fingers digging into the couch cushion. Her eyes watered and she looked up to try to blink away the tears before reaching up to wipe them away. She was going to have to redo her make up.