WHAT: Catra is A Good Friend and helps Teela talk out some of her emotional bs with the Adam/He-Man secret WHERE: Con Artist Studios, Vallo City WHEN: Sometime this past Saturday WARNINGS: Just some ANGER and paint balloon popping STATUS: Complete
Teela wasn’t ignoring Adam, exactly. She still spent time with him - most of it, actually - and she had apologized for lashing out. Seeing those memories play out in front of them in the Crystal Castle had thrown her; she hadn’t expected it and it had stirred up those hurt feelings that she hadn’t really dealt with properly. She’d just accepted it for what it was, after she’d taken on the mantle and responsibility of Sorceress, and shoved all those feelings down in the hopes they would cease to exist.
They hadn’t. They had bubbled right back up to the surface, and as a result, she’d been…cool toward Adam. She didn’t particularly want to be touched, and when they talked, it was all light, surface-level topics. She recognized it was shitty. He hadn’t really done anything - nothing new, anyway, and it wasn’t fair to dredge up old feelings and stew in them. She had told him she forgave him, and she knew now he was questioning that.
Maybe she was, too.
She was pretty sure Adam had talked to Adora about what was going on and Adora had talked to Catra because she’d gotten a very impromptu invite to join Catra at one of her art classes - apparently, they were doing something involving throwing darts at paint-filled balloons? She wasn’t the artistic type, but this didn’t sound like it involved much artistic skill, so she said sure. Why not? She could throw darts with the best of them; she had pretty stellar aim, too.
And she liked Catra, so she wasn’t going to refuse an offer to hang out, even if there might be ulterior motives.
“Okay, so do you want to do this in a certain order?” she questioned, looking at the rows of balloons that she assumed were stapled at the very top of the canvas covering the wall.
“No real order,” Catra said, doing the last loop of the elastic band around the mess of her hair - she wanted most of it out of her face, safely contained in the confines of a ponytail. “It’s honestly just a really chaotic exercise. Also tests your ability to not suck at throwing darts, either.”
Having messed with projectile weapons before, she was proficient. It was nice to use a skill that was once mainly used for the sake of violence to make something creative. They had lots of red and oranges, yellows and pinks in these balloons - it could look like a sunset or a bloody massacre.
It was also a little therapeutic?
That’s what she thought anyway, but Catra had also been using her interest in art as some medium of therapy. She’s always liked coloring and doodling, and had gotten in trouble plenty of times in classes back in the Horde because she wasn’t ‘paying attention’ or was ‘being lazy by drawing.’ It didn’t matter if she passed her tests and got high scores - if she wasn’t killing herself over perfection then she was nothing. How nice to not face any dire consequences for a hobby now.
Hair in her way less, she went to grab a dart to start with. “You can also just walk up to the balloons and stab them up close. There’s no hard rules here - art’s chaos so do what you want.”
Teela did seem like the stabby type. She respected that. And the vibe she was getting from her anyway was a stabby vibe.
Art’s chaos. Alright, if she insisted. Teela followed in her example, twisting her long red hair back into a ponytail to keep most of it out of her face - seeing what she was doing was a necessity and she needed all the wild tendrils out of the way. Sometimes, she missed the shorter hair, but something about having the long locks back gave her a very Sorceress vibe. So, for now, it stayed.
“I’ll see how many darts miss before I jump to the stabbing,” she grinned. She was the stabby type, absolutely. And it was very possible she’d end up floating in the air right in front of these things and jabbing them directly with a dart. But she liked the sport of attempting to take them out from afar - like a more extreme form of darts games played in pubs around here.
“Your project, though, so the first shot’s yours.” She assumed this was just going to be a mess, but she couldn’t deny that it seemed like fun. It was definitely a good distraction from all the angry, resentful feelings she was trying to tamp down.
A total mess. Must be some kind of metaphor for who she was as a person or whatever, but - it was also undeniably fun. Sometimes she paired up with a local for this, and it turns out that it was even better with someone you knew. Maybe next time she’d bring the whole princess squad in (though she suspected it’d go out of control and something would get broken).
The first dart was thrown with precision. Pop went the balloon and its paint - red, bright - splattered, dripping down the canvas in thick rivulets. “I started doing this kind of stuff because it makes me feel better,” Catra said with a shrug, maybe putting out an opening there. If Teela wanted to talk, that is. There may have been some ulterior motives about that but she also wanted to genuinely spend time with her. They were all connected in weird ways that involved family, so. “Sometimes a violent outlet helps. Sometimes no matter how violent I get, though - it doesn’t.”
Catra had experience working through resentment and rage and all those terrible feelings. Especially when they had been directed at the person she loved the most.
There it was, just what Teela had suspected. She looked over at Catra, evaluating her for just a moment, before she turned her attention back toward the canvas and hurled a dart forward. It punctured one of the balloons perfectly, splitting it open to let a stream of yellow paint spool down to join the red. And she had to admit - she did feel better, even if it was only for a few seconds.
“So, Adam did talk to Adora, huh?” There was nothing accusatory in the words, no anger. She had expected it. Adam was so excited to have found his twin, after all these years he’d spent wondering about her. It didn’t surprise her he’d jumped right to confiding in her about these things. He’d liked her before, just as a random other Eternian, and to him, she knew this felt like a strengthening of the bond.
Catra watched her right back, also evaluating. In a non-threatening way, of course - she was trying to gauge whether or not this was something Teela wanted to talk about. If she told her to fuck off and mind her own business? She’d respect that. God knows she’s given that answer to people before.
But Teela didn’t seem surprised. She’d poke a little more.
“That castle you guys found likes to start shit sometimes,” she alluded with a shrug. Light Hope wasn’t active anymore though, and it was her coding that wanted to create a rift between her and Adora so She-Ra wouldn’t have any emotional attachments. The rift was made. Adora literally dangled from it, and Catra walked away from her. “It’s like it knows what memories hurt the most and pulls them up to needle you with it.”
Another dart was thrown, another balloon popped. Helloooo orange, mixing into a smatter of red and yellow.
Yeah. That was a pretty accurate description of their adventure into the Crystal Castle. She’d never expected it to pull memories from them, for starters, but then for it to pull those. Maybe it shouldn’t have hurt her as much as it had. She’d already known what happened, knew that Adam had followed what he felt was the best choice in a weird situation, knew that he had never intended to shut her out or hurt her. But he had. And not just a few times but repeatedly over six years, even knowing how she felt about secrets.
She tossed another dart, splitting another balloon open, watching it spill another deluge of blood-red paint. Another and she finally found some pink, spilling out to cut through the warmer colors.
“What would you have done if Adora kept She-Ra from you?” she asked. She knew that wasn’t the case. Adora had been perfectly open with who she was from day one, even here in Vallo, and it hadn’t shocked her when she’d found out all of Etheria had been in on the truth during the war, too. But hypothetically here. “How would you have felt?”
Okay, so. Catra’s reaction to that question was to laugh. Sorry - she had a reason.
“Adora sucks so bad at lying she could never,” she grinned, trying to picture how that would go but, right, hypothetical situation. She had to also picture how it would have gone if somehow her wife became this expert liar and fooled everyone around her. It wasn’t one she entertained in the past. Most ‘what if’ scenarios with Adora involved one of them killing the other during their stint as enemies, which had been dark.
She had to contemplate this one for a few seconds, balancing the dart between her fingers. “In all seriousness? It would have hurt me.” Two balloons down for the count this time; some were clustered close together. “It would have felt like she didn’t trust me. It’d feel like lying to me was the easiest thing for her. And if she lied about that - then what else?”
Catra was also a deeply distrusting person, sometimes paranoid about another person’s intentions. Wonder why. “I think she and Adam inherited this gene where they work so hard on doing the right thing that they don’t realize that it also hurts the people they love. They take matters into their own hands - a lot of the time alone, thinking that’s what they’re supposed to do, thinking that what they’re doing protects people and it’s their responsibility because of ‘The Power.’”
There were air quotation marks done by her fingers, yes. She was on good terms with She-Ra (obviously) and accepted what that may entail for Adora. She also really hated that it made her hero complex even worse from when they were children.
Teela hadn’t expected the laugh, but once Catra explained, she could understand it. She didn’t laugh herself, mostly because it was just another smack over the head for her. Adam was also a terrible liar. She had always been able to see through whatever crap he spewed, but somehow this she hadn’t seen. The biggest lie of his life, even if it was technically only by omission - she’d never outright asked him if he was He-Man because why would she? - and she’d somehow missed it.
What did they say about her? Was she that oblivious? And Catra was right - what if it meant there were other things he’d lied about? Or if he hadn’t yet, what if he started now and she missed it? She clearly wasn’t the Adam expert she liked to think she was.
“He did it because my mother told him to,” she explained, taking two darts in her hand and flinging them both forward at once. One popped another spiral of orange and the other stuck into the canvas without touching a balloon. “The first time, anyway. She told him - yeah, that it would put his family and friends in danger. But then, everyone was in on it, even my dad, and I still didn’t know. And he still kept hiding it. For almost six years.”
The anger was starting to bubble back up. It wasn’t directed toward Catra, but it was there in her voice, there in the way she picked up another dart, brought her arm back like she was throwing a ball, and hurled forward so another balloon broke open - yellow, this time.
There she goes. Throw it with moxy, Teela. The darts seemed to have a little more oomph behind them now. Catra skipped her turn, folding her arms to lean against a folding table that had some supplies stored on it. Six years was a long time. And then to have everyone else get it on the secret while you remained oblivious? Yeah, that had to sting. That had to make you feel like you weren’t worth trusting or knowing something so important.
“How much have you told him - about how you felt about all this?” Catra’s guess was either not a lot or maybe not at all. Adora’s conversation with Adam seemed to support that. She didn’t, like, look at their texts or anything word for word but it seemed implied, anyway.
There weren’t many balloons left and fewer darts to choose from. So, since art was chaos and all, Teela waved her hand, causing the last remaining balloons to telekinetically pop one after the other. Less of a challenge, sure, but it was cathartic in the moment, watching streams of pink and red and orange all spill down the canvas at once.
And it looked…well, like a mess, in her eyes. But she hoped Catra found it appealing, at the very least.
“We haven’t really talked about it all that much,” she admitted. She had gone the repressing route instead of the talking route, but she also really thought she’d forgiven him already. Why waste energy on something that was a done deal when they could just set things right in this new place? But the hurt wasn’t as gone as she’d thought.
“It feels screwed up to let him believe I was over it and then go ‘just kidding!’ You know?” She truly did love Adam - he had been her best friend and partner for a long time, even during those years - and she didn’t want to hurt him. It would feel like an eye for an eye situation, and she didn’t want to be that person.
Ehhhh. Catra’s face twisted into a grimace, shoulders rising up into a shrug. Did Adam believe it, or was he just not the confrontational sort and was afraid to approach it? She didn’t know. But Adam wasn’t her focus here - she’d leave that up to Adora. “I think one of the worst things you can do to your relationship is not communicate,” she advised gently. Or as gentle as she could. “I know I learned that lesson the hard way.”
Not that she and Adora had been in some official romantic relationship when things between took a turn for the worst, but they could have saved a lot of grief and heartache if someone had tossed them into a room and let them scream their feelings at each other. Getting trapped in the Crystal Castle was almost like that, until Light Hope decided to play an unfortunately clever game of mindfuckery. Add that to the pile of incidents where people tried to pit the two of them against one another.
“I remember all the times I tried to shove down my own feelings because I just - kind of felt like it would be a bother? Or not worth talking about? All it did was make me resentful,” she sighed. “And resenting someone you love blows, Teela.”
“Yeah,” Teela muttered. She let out an exasperated sigh, lacing her fingers together behind her neck. She knew all of that was true. She had resented Adam for a long time, held onto so much anger and hurt for being left in the dark. Apparently, a part of her still did, but she didn’t want to. And maybe it would feel terrible to let it all out, but it was the right move to make. Laying it all out there on the table so they could work on it instead of just coasting along through blissful oblivion.
Sometimes, ignorance was bliss, sure. This wasn’t one of those times.
“I’ll talk to him,” she said after a few moments, with a resolute nod. “You’re right. I have to communicate, and he’s gonna be hurt, but I have to do it.” She couldn’t say she was particularly looking forward to it, but she’d do it. She really didn’t have a choice. She couldn’t go on the way she was, icing him out without giving him any chance to talk it out. And he’d tried, right there in the castle, but she’d shut him down. It wasn’t fair.
“It’s going to absolutely be a shitty conversation,” Catra winched sheepishly. But that was a good step forward to take towards fixing the situation instead of taking a step back to get away from the situation. “Hopefully you two feel better by the end of it?”
That’s how it usually ended for her and Adora. They’ve had a lot of difficult talks that weren’t fun to navigate but by the end of it they felt lighter. Like a weight being lifted from their chests that had made it hard to breathe for far too long. Teela and Adam were obviously different people but she had to think (and hope) that it would be the same for them too.
She shifted her gaze towards the canvas though, covered in paint. It was a mess. But the shades all mixed in together, blending in swirls of mayhem were pretty - at least to her. The red was prominent though. Angry. Matched Teela’s mood and hair. “And hopefully you feel better after coming out here too.”
“I do,” Teela assured her, following it with a tired but grateful smile. Venting all of that out to someone she knew could be trusted had helped her. It still didn’t feel great, but she expected it wouldn’t until she sorted it all out with Adam. If she did. Maybe they’d decide they couldn’t handle it, but that was her jumping to one of the worst case scenarios - bad habit.
“Thanks for letting me vent at you. Sorry about your project, though. I’m guessing it was supposed to look like…something.” She looked back at the canvas, shifting to cross her arms over her chest. For the life of her, it didn’t look like much. Pretty colors but not really something she’d consider art. Probably why she wasn’t an artist.
“It’s not really supposed to be much of anything,” Catra chuckled, shoulders shrugged. “It’s just fun, I think? Art’s weird and that’s the point, I like it.” You could just do whatever with it, and while this wasn’t some object painted on canvas she thought the colors blended together pretty nicely. “There’s really not a lot of rules to it. It helps me feel better when I get stuck in my own head.”
Adora suffered the same fate. They could be wildly different but also wildly similar, and right now the difference was that she found a way to cope - and Adora was still figuring out hers. Punching out her feelings wasn’t always going to cut it.
“That’s enough emotional labor for the day though - you wanna get something to eat? I’m starving,” she suggested. “I want sushi but I could be persuaded by other cuisines.”
“Sushi sounds good to me,” Teela replied with a shrug. She was used to a variety of interesting foods back home, but Vallo cuisine was definitely different from Eternian staples. She hadn’t found much of anything she didn’t like. And she knew sushi was one of Catra’s favorites. “Let’s do it.”