WHO: Marina & Eleanor WHEN: Yesterday, January 27th WHERE: Marina’s penthouse apartment WHAT: Breaking up TRIGGERS: Lots of anger on both sides and low blows
Marina was allowing herself to slowly come down off the adrenaline still coursing through her body. She couldn’t shake off the anxiety or the worry that flooded her still, but she was trying her best. Eleanor could have been hurt worse and she wasn’t. So there was that. She was okay. She was alive. The stupid necklace hadn’t been able to help her, but it was fine. It was okay. Except as she came back with coffee that she felt she needed even if it would definitely not help the anxiety, she couldn’t stop herself from saying, “You can be stupid sometimes. You didn’t even know how to fight those things.” It came out harsher than she meant it to, but she didn’t apologize all the same.
“Maybe next time tell me before you go out and try to get killed so I can at least be there.”
Everything hurt.
Eleanor wasn't sure how she'd dislocated her shoulder, where that fell in the course of battle, or where the deep lacerations on her arm had come from. The last thing she could remember coherently was her panicked call to Marina after realizing she was in way over her head and somehow having the presence of mind to drop a pin to her location.
But she had been terrified, and now that they were out of the woods and safe her fear had turned into anger, mostly at herself but if she truly thought about how upset she was at herself she would burst into tears.
And something about Marina's scolding took her anger and misdirected it back to her girlfriend. The one who'd rushed in and saved her.
"Shut up," she scowled from the couch, taking a deep breath so she didn't say more.
Marina sat the coffee down on the table. “What? I’m not lying. You got hurt. You had to have seen what people were saying.” She frowned because she was still worried and it was annoying. She wanted to be relaxed and over it, but she couldn’t be.
“Are you going to be like Jason now? Just running into everything with explosives and no thought? Cause that’s what it was like.” Okay, that was probably mean, but Jason was dumb and it felt like a Jason thing to do. She didn’t even have back up. Marina had hoped to avoid fighting these things because she didn’t need to die, but apparently people just needed to get involved and get in trouble and she was choosing to cling to the anger instead of the emotions she perceived as weaker emotions. She wasn’t weak. She’d decapitated a thing with a shovel and everything was fine.
Marina wasn't lying and that was part of the problem. Eleanor had read accounts, but as far as she knew those creepy fuckers couldn't fly and so she'd gone to see what was happening from the sky, hoping to be able to help people without fighting.
She'd taken her bat with her, at least, and she'd ended up needing it after spotting someone who'd needed help. Then things quickly got out of hand.
She kept her scowl, which was aided by the pain that required more drugs than she'd been given. But then Marina mentioned Jason, and the fear mixed with being ashamed, along with the fact that Marina could have gotten hurt as well all boiled over and she glared at Marina for a long moment before she gave into the parade of half-formed thoughts that had been marching to the tip of her tongue.
"Look, just because I don't have magic doesn't mean I can't fight. I was aiming for their heads after all." That seemed important to mention. "You think you're so great and I'm so weak but what was I going to do? Let someone die without trying to help them? I didn't have time to think about it, and some of us aren't heartless."
Even as she said it she knew she should apologize. She had to. Because Marina wasn't heartless and Eleanor, or all people, was very much aware of that fact. But she was angry and that was just one more thing to be mad at herself about.
Slowly, she forced herself to sit up, and then stand from the couch. "I'm going home," she muttered. "Rather than let you tell me how stupid I am."
Marina felt the impact of the words like a bat to the chest. She’d been about to say that she clearly wasn’t that great at fighting, but now she couldn’t help but stare for a minute at Eleanor who thought she was heartless. Of course she did. Instead of letting herself dip into that darkness, she just leaned harder into the anger. “Well, if I’m so heartless, maybe I should have left you there and let you figure it out on your own since you know so much about fighting and getting out of danger on your own.”
She glared for a moment. “Fine. Leave. If you get in trouble, don’t call me and don’t try to come back because the wards won’t let you.” She felt tense and angry and she considered something for a brief moment before doing the spell like she did with Julia that one time without burning the stars. She just forced her out with magic because she didn’t want to watch her leave. Then she adjusted the wards like she said, making sure it would keep Eleanor and Jason out.
Afterwards, she looked down at FB who showed up after everything and meowed, scowling and stomping off upstairs to throw herself into her bed.
She should have apologized, and for a second she considered it.
And then suddenly she was out of the apartment and out in the hall, something Eleanor had known was possible from watching Marina's stupid show but had yet to experience. She stood there, stunned into silence for a long moment before she forced herself to the elevator, then to her own apartment, hoping she wouldn't run into Jason or anyone else she knew.
Because as soon as she was in the safety of her own space, once her door was closed behind her, she leaned back and then slid down against it to the floor, finally bursting into tears.
She didn't know what to do or how to fix things or if she wanted to fix anything because Eleanor was exhausted, and sore, and now very much alone. Of her own doing. And that was far too much to comprehend so she didn't even try.
And she didn't move from the door for a very long time.