WHAT: Dealing with bad Horde Prime feels WHERE: Darla WHEN: Very early this morning WARNINGS: Mentions of trauma, torture, possession (kind of??) - and burning things STATUS: Complete
There had been a period of time where Adora had stopped having bad dreams. She wasnât sure how long it had lasted â a month, maybe two â but sheâd slept dreamlessly then. Happily. Woken up content and rested, even as a naturally light sleeper, and gone about her life without any vestiges of messed up dreams lingering in her mind. No guilt constricting her chest after a night reliving every mistake sheâd made.
Of course, that hadnât been a forever type of situation, as much as she may have hoped otherwise. The lucid dream training sheâd started months ago had fallen by the wayside; she was so out of practice, she wouldnât even know how to start over. With the wedding getting closer and closer by the day, she was still mildly stressed (at her best), and of course, thatâs when the dreams began creeping in again.
There didnât seem to be any rhyme or reason to them, no discernible pattern. Some were from her days in the Horde, some from the early She-Ra days, some from out in space when they were searching desperately for Glimmer and Catra. There were even some weird, mismatched ones, pieces of Vallo and Etheria stitched together. Having no control was frustrating and exhausting, but even nightly edibles werenât enough to relax her.
Sheâd been careful not to mention anything to Catra, though. She hadnât woken up screaming or upset, just a little sweatier than usual. But Catra was usually still asleep enough when her alarm went off that she hadnât seemed to notice if Adoraâs heart was racing a little upon waking. Sheâd gone out of her way to make sure she didnât get a chance, untangling herself from the tail and limbs wrapped around her to head out for her morning run before any questions could be asked.
This morning was different. This dream â sheâd had it before, a few times, but it had been months since the last time. Unfortunately, that didnât make it any less terrifying. Seeing the woman she loved like that, possessed and modified to fit his image, eyes unnaturally green with two more embedded into her forehead, it was nothing short of heartbreaking. Proof of the fact that, in some universe, sheâd failed. In some universe, Prime had fulfilled his promise to take her away. It was Catra but not Catra, an empty shell of a person whose original soul had been ripped out and shredded.
Adora woke up breathing hard, tears already streaming down her cheeks as she jolted awake and pressed her hands against her face to try to suppress the sob that burst out of her. A piece of her felt so silly because she knew it wasnât true. They were both in Vallo, safe and sound. Catra was still tangled up with her now, no doubt wondering why the hell she was freaking out, but she just couldnât seem to get ahold of herself.
âHey, hey,â were the first words right out of her mouth - thick with sleep, all before her eyes even dared to open. Catra knew that sound, that choked down sob. Sheâd known it since they were kids, was familiarized with it again here in Vallo those first several weeks when they were both muddled and confused but still insisted on sharing a bed despite it all.
It was far from their first rodeo of night terrors, and it would never be the last.
Her body reacted instantly while her brain worked to wake up. Arms tightened around her, tail too - the soft purrs, cheek rubbing into hers despite how noticeably wet they were. Catra blinked blearily, concern visibly gleaming in them. âIâve got you,â she whispered hoarsely and tightened the grip of their twined legs together as if she could wrap herself into Adoraâs body even more. âIâve got you.â
One of Adoraâs hands knotted into the back of Catraâs sleep shirt while the other lifted to cradle the back of her head, fingers slipping into her mane of dark hair. She bit down hard on her bottom lip, trying to force a deep breath in and out. But hard as she tried, she wasnât there yet. That horrible image of the Catra-Prime hybrid, one she thought sheâd been rid of ages ago, was seared into her brain again and it wouldnât go away.
But Catra was here beside her, very real and very much not merged with Prime. That helped. The cheek rubs, the purring, the way her tail and arms wrapped snugly around her, it helped. It made the dream start to feel the tiniest bit farther away. She tipped her head, pressing kisses across Catraâs forehead, fingertips digging into her back.
âY-Youâre here,â she echoed shakily. Her eyes finally opened and she took in the familiar high ceiling of the bedroom on Darla. A soft whine echoed from the end of the bed, and she knew it was Spirit, probably disturbed by how abruptly Adora had startled awake. âIâm sorry,â she breathed, eyes squeezing shut again. âIâm s-so sorry.â
âYou donât have to be sorry with me, dummy,â Catra responded instantly, consciousness having finally dominated that drowsy haze. Fuck - this must have been a bad one. It had been a minute since sheâd seen Adora this shaken up, and there was no going back to sleep after this. They were up (she didnât care how early it was), and she was slipping a warm hand up her shirt to stroke up and down the scarred slope of her back.
Melog was an occupant of their bed too, and syncing with Catraâs sentiment to comfort they quietly made their way up the bed (having shifted into their house-cat form the night before), burrowing themselves into Adoraâs pillow right next to her head. They purred too.
Her lips pressed into her fianceâs jawline in a slow smatter of hot kisses. âWhatâcha need, âDora? Wanna tell me what it was? Or I can hold you,â she mumbled languidly. âNo rush. Iâm here. Always.â
It didnât seem to hurt to drive that sentiment home, especially since the pitiful youâre here hadnât escaped her ears.
Two cats purring was even better than one, and Adora felt herself finally beginning to find a semblance of calm. That mantra kept running through her mind Sheâs here. Sheâs here. Sheâs here. Her Catra, not that twisted hybrid. All her Catra, the girl she loved, the woman she was going to marry. Everything was okay. Prime was gone, long gone â at least for the two of them. It was just a horrible dream. She needed to let it go.
Finally, her breathing began to even and her heart started settling into a steadier rhythm. She didnât answer Catraâs question verbally, instead just tightening her grip around her. She would talk about it but not right now. She knew there was no getting back to sleep, but just laying in comfortable quiet for a moment now that the initial freakout had passed was enough. It would have to be.
She felt the weight of Spirit climbing onto the bed behind her, and before she knew it, a cold nose had pressed into the back of her neck. She let out a surprised chuckle and shifted in a little closer to her lover while their puppy settled down, back against her back.
âIâm okay,â she sighed at last. âI just â It was a bad dream. Horrible.â Her hand slipped free of Catraâs hair and gently cupped her jaw instead. âI didnât mean to wake you, though. I really am sorry.â
Nothing like a good cuddle puddle in the morning. Catra didnât even know the current time. Too early was the assumption that she was working with, but she didnât mind. ââDora,â she huffed (her words were still coming out in this tired slur) and turned her head to bite at her fingers. âStoppit, you donât need to apologize for this. Didnât do anything wrong.â
To emphasize the point she began to nuzzle, aggressively - all up on her chest and neck and face, fluffy hair splaying around and maybe tickling Adoraâs nose. There were these gray-brown strands that were growing beneath her ears, vestiges of the kitten tufts sheâd cut off years ago springing forth again. âI donât care,â a nip to her throat since she was apparently a little bitey this morning, âif you wake me up like this. Iâm happy to be up. I want the chance to be there for you instead of sleeping through it, you know?â
Adora hummed to herself, a tremulous smile curling her lips before she pressed a kiss to her temple. She knew getting as worked up as she had was silly, but something about that dream always got the worst reaction out of her. She hated that it got to her like that, and she hated that it was so out of her control and had such an effect that it woke Catra.
With a sigh, her hand stroked up Catraâs back, coming to rest between her shoulder blades. âIt was the one where Prime used you as a vessel,â she confessed softly. âI havenât had it in a long time, and it just - got to me. I thought Iâd finally forgotten what that looked like, and then it came back. Like it knew I was forgetting and wanted to remind me that if Iâd screwed up just the right way, that could have happened to you. He could have taken you from me.â
Oh. It was that one. Adora hadnât had it in awhile.
Catra settled less rambunctiously against her now, cheek resting against her collarbone. From there her ears could pick up on the sound of her beating heart - still a little fast but nothing like how sheâd woken up, she was sure of it. âMmm,â she hummed, that hand up back slipping more towards the front now. Over the toned muscle of her stomach, thumb rubbing circles by her belly button. âWell, you have me here - with the right amount of eyes, in the right color.â
She angled her head up, pressing a lingering kiss against her cheek and mumbling a quiet, âThanks to you.â
Adora hadnât messed up. Horde Prime didnât take Catra away from her. Now, they were here - and they had this life. None of that would have been possible without her.
âI know,â Adora sighed, letting her eyes drift closed while Catraâs hand rubbed across her stomach. They snapped open nearly as quickly and her heart skipped a beat when that same image instantly reappeared. âBut I could have,â she pressed on, wrapping both arms around Catra and coaxing her even closer â as if they werenât already so melded together they could be one being. âIf Iâd come any later, he could have. To, I dunno, to taunt me. To keep me from killing him.â
âAdora,â she warned, an odd mix of gentle and firm. âYou canât torture yourself on the maybes and what ifs. He could have, and he probably would have, but he didnât.â
Yep, thatâs it. Catra decided that this position was going to change, thanks - and it did in a way that would disrupt the kind snuggling Melog and Spirit were bestowing onto Adora but it was a necessary evil. It was time to straddle her, thighs bracketing her hips while she made Adoraâs abs her throne to sit on. âAnd you didnât,â she reminded, cradling her stupid and perfect face between her hands. âSo when you think about all the different ways things could have gone - remember that we have this, and us, and eventually some cute kids down the road. Weâll have that because you won. Got it, wifey?â
Not wives yet but the title was⊠okay, fine, it was hot. Catra would admit it. It was growing on her a lot, and she knew it would make Adora melt into useless goop too.
That got exactly the reaction Catra was probably hoping for â Adora melted, and every worry buzzing through her brain quickly faded away. Even if she hadnât pulled out that little trick, there was no denying that Catra was right. Adora had gotten better about dwelling in the endless well of possibilities, of all the wrong turns she could have made (but hadnât), was just going to raise her anxiety levels even higher.
âGot it, wifey,â she echoed softly, smiling up at her soon-to-be wife and reaching out to grip her hips. Were they not surrounded by animals at what couldnât be much later than dawn, she would have been working on having her way with Catra. If there was one thing that never failed to distract her, it was that primal intimacy they shared in bed. But this was enough, too.
âIâm really looking forward to the cute kids,â she added, grinning up at Catra playfully. That doodle Catra had drawn on their bedroom wall had grown after Finnâs visit. It now had the two of them with a little outline of Finn and the future twin girls her future self had spoiled for Catra. The sooner they got there, the better, in Adoraâs opinion. âHe didnât take that from us.â
Success. The wifey part, the kids. Those were sure ways to keep Adora grounded and snap her from that haze of nerves. Having the outline artwork of what was essentially going to be their family colored on the wall must help, too. Catra was proud of that. It wasnât anything fancy and done in the style of her old cartoony doodles of when they were cadets in the Horde, but it felt so much more personal. So much more them.
âWhen you think about it,â she laughed raspily, leaning forward to kiss that wonderfully ginormous (in her words) forehead of hers, âPrime was the first one to call us out on our feelings. Actually - nevermind, thatâs fucked, letâs not think about that.â
Yeah, no, she didnât want to mull that fact over at all. Horde Prime was dead, he couldnât take anything from them - and he didnât, because they had a future and her body wasnât crumpled and broken on his ship anymore.
Anyway. Back to Adora, and working on soothing what was left of those frazzled nerves post-shitty dream. âDo you want to take a shower or anything?â Catra asked, raking her claws into her fiance's hair. âWe can get up, make food. Whatever you want.â
Oh no, Adora really didnât want to think about that â but it was unfortunately true. Sheâd seen Bow and Glimmer raising some brows over time, but it was truly Prime who had gotten right to the heart of the issue. Not kindly, of course; it was a tactic, a way to manipulate them and make them both hurt. The last thing she felt toward him was any sense of gratefulness. He was nothing but an intergalactic douchelord, and she hated that she even still thought of him.
âShower sounds good,â she agreed. âIâm all sweaty and gross, anyway.â She might end up skipping her run today. After that dream, she didnât feel up to it, and it wasnât a Richie day so she was in the clear. Might as well just stay in and get her cuddles because she desperately needed them.
âShower it is,â Catra decided, and leaned over to the nightstand to touch her phone and get a glimpse of the time and oh my fuck was it early. No doubt a nap was going to be part of their near future. Until then, a wash (obviously she was getting in with Adora) and caffeine would do the trick. âGonna lay out some clothes if you wanna start the water?â
A lazy kiss of morning breath later, she dismounted Adora to properly stretch. Her nightwear was usually just a t-shirt they tended to share but since they had to eventually take Spirit out for a walk and probably run an errand or two, Catra probably did need to put on basic things like pants or whatever. A tragic but necessary evil.
If there was one thing she was surprisingly neurotic about it was the organization of their closet. Clothes were fun and in her humble opinion the tighter the better, and one side belonged to her while the other held Adoraâs, uh. Interesting fashion choices. Sometimes she stole one or two things from her side to wear. Not the Hawaiian shirts though - she wasnât touching those. âWe can take Melog and Spirit out for breakfast,â she suggested after letting out a scratchy yawn, trying to come up with ways to improve Adoraâs shitty start to the day. That was her goal. âI think I saw this breakfast bistro with an outdoor seating area in the city with, like, heaters outside? Pet friendly, looked nice.â
There was a glimpse of white that caught her eye while she sifted through her clothes (which were a lot - donât judge her). Weird, because she didnât really own white clothing - she always preferred darker colors - but maybe it was something of Adoraâs that got mixed up with hers. It happened. With a shrug, she pulled the hanger off the rack to get a better look.
Time froze. So did Catra, pupils constricting to the point that they were barely visible pinpricks.
The hooded white robes, the bodysuit with the emblem woven in gray. That was what she pulled from the closet. It was pristine without a wrinkle in sight. Ready to be worn. Vaguely, she could recall her claws tearing into them on Darla an entire universe away and Adoraâs hands helping her with that. The fabric burned her skin because she could remember how her own clothes were torn off so she could be stripped bare - to be purified in the pool of green waters, and then forced into this.
Catra felt stuck in the memory for what felt like too long. The spell snapped and the clothes hit the floor. Melog was growling - somewhere? Well, they were growling and suddenly massive next to her with a flaring red mane and somehow she just noticed.
âShit,â she blinked and breathed shakily. What was even happening? This felt like a weird out-of-body experience, or like a bad joke that she should be awkwardly laughing about. This moment was fake, right? It had to be.
Adora didnât need to be told twice. Once Catra had slipped away, she wiped at her eyes, brushed her hair out of her eyes, and climbed out of bed, taking a moment to stretch her arms and crack her back when she found her feet. She left Catra alone to sort out their clothes, as the more fashion-conscious of the two of them, and headed through the automatic doors into the ensuite. She paused inside the doorway, tapping in the code that would keep the doors open.
After reaching into the oversized shower stall to turn on the water, she moved to the sink, picking up her toothbrush to get rid of the lingering morning breath. She was about halfway through the two-minute cycle (because, yes, she was that neurotic person with the mechanical toothbrush that timed out how long to spend on each quadrant) when she realized Catra hadnât come in to join her. She knew her soon-to-be wife could be a little picky about her outfits, but it was usually a bit faster of a process.
With the toothbrush still on and working on the back right quadrant, she stepped back out into the bedroom. Her hand stilled when she took in the sight before her: Melog at their panther size with a spiky red mane, growling; an all-too-familiar hooded white garment crumpled on the floor; Catra standing before it, looking shell-shocked and shaking.
The toothbrush was promptly turned off, pulled out of her mouth, and dropped on the bedside table, toothpaste swallowed. She stepped tentatively closer to the garment on the floor, bending down to scoop it out and confirm her suspicions. A very big part of her wanted to break down and cry again â she had dreamed of Catra in this very outfit, twisted and modified to act as Primeâs vessel, and here the damn thing had appeared. One of Valloâs messed up gifts, like that journal of hers sheâd tried and failed to burn.
She hoped the same wouldnât hold true for this thing because that was exactly what they were going to do with it if she had her say.
âWeâre burning this,â she informed Catra, voice low and tone firm. She crumpled it between her hands and met mismatched eyes. âPut some pants on. Do we have lighter fluid?â
âUm,â Catra sounded out, mouth opening a few times to form things like words but she had some trouble there for a few seconds. It wasnât often that she was rendered speechless and she was still pretty sure this wasnât real. It couldnât be. Except the clothes were in Adoraâs hands and she had this look to her and what felt like several minutes (in actuality they were only seconds) passed before she even figured out what she was planning to say. âYeah.â
Yeah. They did. Somewhere around here - probably in storage? That was all her brain could come up with. Melog bumped their head into her hip, a gentle nudge that spurred her into action in regards to the concept of pants. Leggings were pulled from the closet and what would ordinarily be a seamless, uncomplicated task was met with challenges due to this tremble in her hands. Why were her hands shaking? They never did. This was stupid.
There was some fumbling when getting the tail to go through that damn hole because it needed to be smoothed out and it was being so twitchy but she got it. Eventually. âLike - outside?â she stuttered and gulped. âBurning?â
âYeah, outside,â Adora confirmed. She was very much in problem-solving mode right now, and she would get to comfort mode. It killed her to see Catra obviously hurting like this, and burning this goddamn uniform felt like the best first step to fixing that. That was what she did, anyway â she fixed things. âWe have that old metal trash can out there. We can use that.â
Burning it felt like the most cathartic solution. They had done the same with the chip that Hank had been over to remove months ago when Catra had woken up with it embedded in her neck. She had been in a very similar mood that day, too. Adora never liked seeing Catra in pain; sheâd been through more than her share of it throughout their lives. She didnât need any more, but this place seemed to find a way to slap some trauma in there when they were least expecting it.
But maybe thatâs what her dream had been? Maybe it was supposed to be some kind of warning. Too bad she hadnât been perceptive enough to put that together until now.
Burning. Outside. Cool. Nothing like a little incinerating a piece of her torture process early in the morning, right? Catra bit the inside of her cheek because, like - she needed to get ahold of herself, she wasnât someone who crumbled into some whimpering baby about these things. She didnât often talk about what happened with her and Prime nor did she like to indulge in the nitty-gritty details of what heâd done to her. There was no point. It happened, it was probably karma because she deserved it and it just - it was what it was.
Melogâs mane kept that sharp tint of red but it also wobbled, which meant there was sadness there. Grief, probably. Catra didnât think too hard about it. Her feet moved, body operating on auto-pilot to distract from the quiver that was too stubborn to leave her hands. A quick trip to one of the closets to get a lighter and that fluid, and soon they were descending on Darlaâs ramp and into the crisp coldness of an early forest morning.
âJust toss it in,â Catra mumbled, tugging on the nuzzle of the lighter fluid bottle. That stunned look sheâd been wearing faded into something more irate. It was a feeling she was more comfortable with - better than heart-stopping fear merely seeing those clothes ignited in her.
Adora obeyed, tossing the crumpled-up white garment into the trash can before returning to slip her arms around Catraâs shoulders. She hadnât meant to neglect her, but she knew sheâd gotten a little single-minded and hadnât taken a second to actually ask Catra how she was feeling. She didnât feel she needed to, not when she could look into her eyes and see the pain, then look at Melog and see it all reflected in their mane and their posture and their behavior, uncontrolled in a way Catra wouldnât allow herself to be. But it still would have been considerate.
It was a full bottle of lighter fluid that was completely emptied out in a gushing dump that could be easily described as âoverkillâ - but it had drenched the robes completely to the point, and the stench may have overwhelmed her sensitive nose if she had paused to really give a damn about it. After dropping the container, Catra took a deep breath.
Part of her wanted to bite with her words, snap out that she didnât need some kind of symbolic ritual of closure like this because she didnât. Horde Prime was gone, this morning was cursed (a shit cherry on top of a shit cake) and that was the way the cookie crumbled. Catra was used to this kind of thing. Something always went wrong in a way that hurt - and she ought to be numb about it already.
But as much as she always tried, numb hardly ever worked (except at times when sheâd been chipped, and wasnât that just fucked). She always felt too much, too strongly, and her way of dealing with it had been to choke it down and not complain over a situation she put herself in. It was the safest route for her now. Melogâs mane hadnât changed a bit but she did, if only on the surface. The anger she wore melted into a mask of indifference and her voice achieved an impressive tone of neutrality. âLetâs just get this over with,â she deadpanned, and if Adora wanted to set it off together thatâs fine. It didnât make a difference.
So she directed the lighter (the long kind, specific for something like this) towards the pile of clothes in the metal can to light it.
The flames went up instantly, white clothes burning and turning black. Melog grew restless, front paws pushing against the ground and a growl-whine mesh rumbling from their throat. They clearly didnât want to be there which meant Catra didnât either.
If nothing else, Adora was good at taking Melogâs cues. Every thought and feeling that Catra left unspoken was communicated loud and clear from her companion, so at least she wasnât left completely in the dark in times like these when there was clearly some upset not being communicated. Melog didnât want to be here, which meant Catra didnât want to be here, so again, Adora took matters into her own hands. She stepped away to snatch the lid for the can off the ground (where the wind had likely knocked it off last night) and stepped forward to cover and subsequently smother the flames.
There. It was done now. It was gone, nothing more than a pile of ashes. It helped, for her, but she could only hope it had made some flicker of difference to Catra.
âSorry,â she murmured, stopping to soothingly scratch behind Melogâs ears. She lifted her gaze back to Catra. Part of her wanted to explain that she thought it would help to be rid of it instead of giving them the chance to dwell, but she bit her tongue. It didnât matter at this point. âShowerâs still running inside,â she said instead.
Catraâs knee-jerk reaction was to reject the shower. She didnât want to do anything - besides crawl back into bed and let this depressive state drag her down into a fitful attempt at sleep. Sometimes there were days like that. Rare days, honestly, but in those days all those terrible, rotten feelings (like the guilt and the shame) would surface and fester to the point that it felt impossible to get up. Talking about it wasnât an option (it was, really, but not one she ever chose). Adora would hold her through it until it passed.
This was a path down to having one of those days, and for once she caught herself before stepping over that threshold. She knew she was shutting down and clamming up. She knew she was putting Adora in this weird, emotional exile she didnât deserve to be in when all she was doing was trying to help. And she did, because destroying those robes was the only acceptable answer to this situation.
But Adora had woken up distraught and hurt too, and Catra didnât want to make it worse. She didnât deserve that.
That tension that kept her muscles tight and body stiff seemed to lessen. Melog sensed a change too and it was why they were suddenly very nuzzly towards Adora. This time Catraâs behavior finally matched theirs because the space between them no longer existed. She surged forward, wrapping her arms around her middle with claws scrabbling up her back in this clumsy, desperate way as she embraced her. Her grip was tight, and her face buried into her shoulder.
âTodayâs stupid,â is all she said, muffled. This time she didnât make an effort to control the quiver in her words.
Before Adora could even give a thought to trying to stop them, tears filled Adoraâs eyes. She closed her arms around Catra when she approached, clinging to her just as hard, completely unbothered by the claws digging into her back and probably breaking through the fabric of yet another tank top. All the worry and guilt that sheâd done something wrong whooshed out of her with that embrace. But the overwhelming feelings of fear and despair and everything terrible that came with these very vivid, visceral reminders of what theyâd been through with Prime swooped in to replace it in the next heartbeat.
She tucked her chin over Catraâs head, one hand moving to tangle in her hair just like it had when she woke up scared and struggling to come back to herself barely â what? Twenty minutes ago? It couldnât be later than seven in the morning, and yeah, today was stupid.
âYeah. Today massively sucks,â she agreed, a hitch in her voice as she spoke. âIâm really sorry. If I hadnât - I donât know, I feel like that dream made this happen or something.â It was a ridiculous statement, especially because this wasnât about her, and it was just one of those spirals Adora found herself in far too easily, but she couldnât get it off her mind. She dreamed this, and then those robes appeared out of nowhere. Surely that was her fault somehow.
âIt didnât,â Catra assured, wishing Adoraâs automatic response to things wasnât always this is my fault - but that was a habit that was going to take time to unlearn, and theyâd get there. Sheâd make sure of it. âI donât know, maybe like an omen or⊠warning, sure. Your magicâs weird.â
Somehow her body still interpreted the existence of those robes here as a threat and wouldnât let her claws retract, but the pressure of them on her back eased while her hold on Adora simply tightened. There was this minor echo of purrs too. They didnât sound exactly right, though - they were intermittent, broken up. The kind that emerged when she felt anxious or scared, and it was the same kind that started up right before she felt the chip bite into the nape of her neck. Prime had heard it. Chuckled about it, even, in that condescending way of his - you poor, poor creature.
God. Fuck that guy. The memory made her laugh a little, mirthless, and she pulled back enough to bring her hands up to Adoraâs cheeks to wipe the tears. âGood riddance, right?â
âGood riddance.â Adora tilted her head to press a kiss to the crown of Catraâs head. They were in tune enough that she could feel the breaks in her purrs, the little echo that said something wasnât right. Sheâd heard it time and time again in the Horde, from when they were little things right up until sheâd defected when they were teenagers in Shadow Weaverâs care.
It was chilly at this time of year, and despite running generally hot, Adora was beginning to feel it. Arms still wrapped around Catra, she shifted her grip to pick her up and let her wrap around her properly to carry her inside. They needed to get away from here and the remnants of those terrible memories, before the smell of smoke and char started sticking to them.
Getting picked up like this happened with such frequency that Catra never protested. Adoraâs arms were solid, and warm, and she knew she could safely lean her weight into her. Maybe that sentiment is what fixed those purrs, too - gave them a change in tone that was more familiar and comforting.
Melog was definitely purring. They were glued to Adoraâs side, rubbing their face into her any chance they got. The red of their mane was less harsh. Still tinted, but better.
âWonder if youâre still going to be able to pick me up like this when youâre a frail old lady,â she murmured, nuzzling into the side of her face as she was carried. âWouldnât want you to fall over and break both our hips, you know?â
Adora chuckled, the tears abating as she carried Catra back up Darlaâs ramp and through the door with Melog practically stuck up against her. Catching a glimpse of their mane and hearing Catraâs purrs correct was a comfort, too. Definitely helped her feel a smidge less overwhelmed with way too much emotion at this early hour.
âIâll just heal both our hips,â she said, a hint of that playful cockiness returning to her voice. âBecause no way Iâm gonna stop carrying you around whenever I want. Even when weâre, like, ninety.â She set Catra gently on her feet as Spirit came barreling toward them, whimpering to go out, and she grabbed his collar to hold him still. âGo ahead upstairs and enjoy that shower. Iâll let him out and meet you up there?â
Shit, poor Spirit. He had gotten a little neglected there, hadnât he? Her hands brushed over the top of his head once Adora set her down, and he was tall now - almost not a puppy anymore. âYeah, justâŠâ
Catra leaned in to press a kiss against the corner of her mouth, the gesture timid and insecure. The whiplash of emotions sucked. It was like she cycled through ten different ones in the past half hour, and it was exhausting and she hated it. A shower would do them both good. So would getting out of Darla for the day to avoid simmering in this. âDonât leave me alone too long,â she said, since she obviously didnât want to shower alone. âI⊠kinda need you, okay?â
The kinda was tossed in there to make her seem less clingy but they both knew it was horseshit.
âIâll just be a few minutes,â Adora insisted, eyes soft and a little sad at the sight of Catra before her. They had been on a thirty-minute roller coaster ride of insanity this morning; of course she was sensitive and didnât want to let go. Adora didnât either, but well, she couldnât let Spirit suffer any longer, poor boy. âFive tops.â
She watched as Catra walked away before turning around to let Spirit run down the ramp outside. He was pretty good about staying within her line of sight, so she didnât leash him, letting him do his business and run out a little bit of that energy before calling him back inside. Ivy was waiting patiently by her bowl, so she made quick work of scooping some food out for both of them before heading back upstairs herself.
It had been just shy of five minutes when she slipped into the shower behind Catra and wrapped her arms around her waist, nose instantly pressing into her neck. âIâm here,â she mumbled, kissing right below Catraâs thrumming pulse point. âIâve got you.â
This was better than icing her out, right? Admitting the needy thing, because she didnât want space and it seemed like Adora didnât either. Showers were preferable to baths anyway because now after how their morning had started she was sure she wouldnât be able to handle the feeling of being submerged well. Too close to the whole all beings must suffer to become pure spiel sheâd had chanted at her when the clones forced her into the pool, vulnerable and exposed in a way sheâd never been before.
She needed to not think about that.
The steam that filled the bathroom was nice and so was the hot water that seemed to thaw the morning chill out of her, but what was better than all of that was Adoraâs arms and the feel of her front pressed against her back. Now, she could melt. Feel boneless. Purr in a way to let her know that she felt safe.
Catraâs arm reached back, wrapping around her neck to keep close. âIâve got you too,â she promised, right before pulling her in for a proper kiss.