Kady was not a fan of emotions. Not in herself or recognizing them in other people. They were an annoying part of being human and something she’d tried to erase from herself more times than she could count--though not quite in the same way in Vallo as she had back home. She might not have touched drugs any longer but alcohol was still something she enjoyed at times. Not quite to the extent that she once had though.
And while she still didn’t want to analyze any of her own feelings, she’d been picking up on the fact that Jake wasn’t quite his usual self since Mason left. There was just something off about him that she couldn’t quite pinpoint.
Usually she would have ignored it, but somehow they were going to make it as friends for over a decade, so that probably wasn’t an option anymore. She passed him a beer from the cooler even as she kept looking at the crashing waves on the beach.
“What’s up with you?”Ugh. He so owed her for this.
Taking the bikes out for an actual ride had been a great idea, and winding up on the beach was even better. He took the beer gratefully, and took a long drink before glancing over at Kady. "What do you mean?" he asked.
Of course, he had an idea. But he didn't want to spew out everything he was thinking at her if she wasn't actually asking for it. That would probably lead to Kady getting on her bike and taking off without him.
Maybe even without a word.
It took a lot of effort for Kady to not make a face at him. But she’d loosened this can of worms and it seemed like she was going to need to wrench the whole thing open. It was fine. She could do this. It wasn’t like they were going to talk about her own emotions. Just focus on his.
Baby steps forward.
“You’re being weird. Quiet. Pensive. So what’s up?”
Another glance, and another long drink. Then Jake spoke.
"You know how you couldn't believe we're going to be friends so long? Well, Mason showing up showed me just how much of a future is possible here. Back home? It was war. I joined the military during a war, trained, got kicked out by my father who died a hero during that war. Then it was surviving in the aftermath, living rough, staying outside of respectable society or whatever and getting by."
He broke his thoughts up with another drink. "Then I got caught stealing, my sister bailed me out, brought me back to the military where we fought again, but I lost her on the way. And we'd just won, when I showed up here. So if I had thought of my future back home, it would have been military, training the next group of cadets to be ready to face whatever was going to come at us next.
"Here… I've taught myself how to fix motorcycles. I'm learning how to be a car mechanic. I've built sets for plays. I play hockey? I mean, I really play hockey now. Somehow. And in the future I'm going to have the most perfect son I could even hope for. Like this life doesn't seem real sometimes. Like maybe if I had been born and there hadn't always been a battle to fight? This might have been the sort of life I'd chosen to live at home. But since that wasn't the case at all, it just seems impossible even while I'm living it."
And that was why he got clarification before he spilled all of those words out. Now she couldn't run. Or if she did, it would at least be her that was rude.
That was a lot and before she’d gotten confirmation on the whole friendship forever thing, Kady might have bailed. But that wasn’t a possibility now. Or it probably still was but she’d feel shitty for doing so. She didn’t really know what to say to any of that though but Kady knew she had to at least try and reply to him.
“I get it.” And she really did. Her own life had been one insanity after another since she was born. No war against giant monsters with robots, but there was still a lot of battles--internal and not. “Half the time I need to pinch myself when I wake up because this place doesn’t seem real. Not compared to what I knew. Keep thinking its going to all blow up on us at some point even if we know that it apparently doesn’t.”
Not with Mason having come and showing them that their lives had a chance to be good. She couldn’t help but feel guarded about all of it still though.
"Exactly," Jake said. For as optimistic he could be, he was used to a world that wasn't friendly, where he had to bargain and fight his way out of trouble. This was a chance to live whatever life he wanted.
"It's weird to have this future here, and apparently I don't get sent back anytime soon… if that timeline stands."
“I don’t think there’s any way to really know which timeline we’ll end up in, but even if it isn’t that exact one, it doesn't mean some of the things won’t be the same.” What was it that Strange always said? Infinite possibilities or whatever.
She took another sip of her beer. “Good kind of weird though.” Better than the weird she was used to.
"The good kind of weird that makes you stuck with me," Jake replied with a grin, leaning into Kady and nudging her. "BFFs now. So, BFF, what sort of future do you want here?"
She did roll her eyes then. “No clue yet, but I’m sure whatever it is will be a nice one.” Whatever nice futures even meant. “I like my job. I’m not involved in crazy shit that I didn’t want to get dragged into.” No one was dead or dying. “Can’t really ask for more than that yet.”
"You can though," Jake pointed out. "That's the thing. You can start thinking about what you want to do, not just work, and not just what you want to avoid."
It took her a long moment to answer him. On some level she knew he was right. She could have more if she decided she wanted it and took steps toward getting what she wanted but… “I’m not at that point yet.”
Again, Jake leaned in and nudged her, but this time he didn't move away. "You'll get there," he said confidently. From the glimpses of her life that she'd shared, or at least hinted at, he knew she wasn't used to people sticking around or things working out. But that was changing here in Vallo, and he had categorical proof that he'd be around as she navigated her way through it all.
“Yeah yeah yeah,” she muttered, though she didn’t move away from him so that was an improvement. Enough little steps forward would eventually lead to a different outcome. “Get me another beer.”
They each needed another beer, so he pulled two from the cooler, handing one over to Kady, and changing the subject slightly, drawing it back to himself.
"So talking about future projects, think I should find some junked up hoverbike and fix that up?"
“I think you’re going to end up doing that if I think its a good idea or not,” she countered, though really, Kady couldn’t think up a reason why it wouldn’t be a good idea to do. Everyone needed some sort of project to do in Vallo. Helped keep them sane during all the insanity.
“But yeah, you should do that.”
"Yeah, probably," he agreed with a smirk, leaning into Kady again, but this time just a nudge. "Gonna spend at least some time hanging out with me while I work?"
This was how he knew they could stay friends. She could put up with him while he was frustrated without making him more upset. That was a skill in and of itself.
“If there are oreos and pizza then yeah, I’ll hang out with you while you work.” She’d do it without those things as well, but Kady figured she might as well have her cake and eat it too. Literally.
“I get to pick the color scheme.”
"Deal," Jake said, washed down with another swig of beer. It was unclear if he was agreeing to the oreos and pizza or the color scheme or both, but he wasn't worried about any of it. He was apparently going to stick around for a while.
He could work on this project and then another, and figure out the details of what he wanted as he went. With friends and his sister there along the way.
Smirking then, grateful that Kady couldn't read his mind to react to his sappy thoughts, he added, "I'll make sure I have some of the birthday cake ones ready for you."